All comics by WiLzzt

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by WiLzzt
8-14-02
They're attacking the city! Use your guns! RATATATTARATATTARATAT
Wow... It's a whole world of tiny buidlings!
The guns are ineffective! Use the cannon! BOOFPRGGG! BOOFPRGGG!
The people don't appear to like us very much.
you can say THAT again.
Bring in the fighter jets with Air-to-surface missles! SHHHHHHBOOM! SHHHHHHBOOM!
Do you think we should tell them we're Vegans?
HEY MIDGETS! CUT THE GODZILLA CRAP, WILL YOU?!

 

by WiLzzt
8-14-02
Our conventional military weaponry hasn't fazed them! Send in the giant robot!
... giant robot?
I don't like the sound of that...
RRR!
Aww... look at 'im! He's so cute! What's your name, little fella?
I is called RRR! I is destroy you!
You're a cutey-wutey, yes you are! I'm gonna show you to Chili!

 

by WiLzzt
8-14-02
RRR!
You wait right here, ok, widdle robot? Zbobbie will be wight back!
Honey, the cutest robot just came up to me, and he OW!!! HE JUST PINCHED ME IN THE LEG!
*BOOT* RRRrrrrr....
Wow, I wonder if it's head was designed to come off like that..

 

by WiLzzt
8-14-02
Hello, big monst... I mean, nice big people... We want to get together and make peace with you.
You're calling ME big? You're ones to talk...
Geeze, I hope this works...
Yeah, you're telling me...
We surrender. You will be rulers of our country!
Again?
Score!

 

by WiLzzt
8-15-02
Sir Everett! Deep within me, I was waiting to hear you say those words! ──────────── Uh, Pete, why are we doing this?
Did you see the big mons... big man holding us in this box here? ─────────── Yeah, but Pete, aren't you forgetting something?
oh YEAH! One... two... thr... ─────────── one.... two... thr...
ZAP!

 

by WiLzzt
8-16-02
Well, that was sort of a downer.
Want to go rampaging through the city, bringing death and destruction wherever we go?

 

by WiLzzt
8-16-02
They're coming after us again! Let's see if we can't bring'm down, boys!
YARR!
RRR!
Fall back! Fall back! Take up position three!
ROAR! *stomp stomp*
GARR! *stomp stomp*
Get the people out of those buildings there! Get ready to set off another charge!
... I don't feel right about doing this. It's mean.
... yeah, and?

 

by WiLzzt
8-16-02
HAHAHAHHAAHH did you see the look on the president's face?
HAHAHAHAHA and when the vice president wet his pants... I thought I'd die laughing!
Visitng the White House really made the trip worthwhile. Thanks, Chili.
I must just have a knack for vacation planning!

 

by WiLzzt
8-16-02
... you don't feel a draught, do you?
... falling?
This would be a good time to change into a bird and fly us to safety, Chil.
Uh.. it works the one way, but it doesn't work in reverse. I already tried.
What's that I hear? It must be my favorite asthmatic superhero, Cough-man, and his penguin army, coming to save us!
YOU AND YOUR COUGH-MAN PENGUINS!

 

by WiLzzt
8-17-02
... we're about to hit the ground now.
Well, Zbob, it's been fun...
BOOM!
a minute later...
We appear to be indestructable.
That's a shame. 'Who's the Boss' is on in the afterlife right now.

 

by WiLzzt
8-18-02
I think we'd better take a look around.
Well, it's something to do...
Two miles futher down what's left of the road...
Apparantly, when you land in an apocalyptic nightmare, the scenery never changes.
I sure wish we would have died just then. I hate to miss "Who's the Boss."
... You have a thing for Tony Danza, don't you?
Hee, hee... my secret's been found out!

 

by WiLzzt
8-18-02
Lemme hear you say it... and what happens to bad girls that think about Tony Danza all day?
mmm... I don't know, Doctor. But I'll bet I find out soon.
this i rather an inconventient spot to... if only there was a place not covered with jagged rock...
...like an abandoned matress factory!
Inside the factory...
. . .
I have never in all my life seen something so disturbing. Quick, get the camera.

 

by WiLzzt
8-22-02
 
So... am I to understand you're a non-donor?
Indeed.
- - - - - - - - - INTERMISSION - - - - - - - - -
So... you never gave him a cent, and you wasted more bandwidth than any other stripper?
"Waste" is an arguable choice of words.
 
That's hilarious!!! I'm making this exchange into a comic RIGHT NOW
Indeed it is not. But go, make your comic, ... you insensitive bastard.

 

by WiLzzt
8-27-02
so.. if that pile is what you say it is, why is it grey?
Grey? what are you talking about? The land of
okay, that little dance is REALLY starting to bug me...
does not have "grey" in its vocabulary!

 

by WiLzzt
8-27-02
so anyway.... what are you guys doing in my land?
Actually, we were looking for a place to...
one... two.... thr...

 

by WiLzzt
8-27-02
Okay.... what the crap did you just do?!
I.... think i'd better be going now.

 

by WiLzzt
9-06-02
Hey where'd he.... what the?
Hi, I'm Davy.
Hi, I'm Davy.
Hi, I'm Davy.
Hi, I'm Davy.
Hi, I'm Davy.

 

by WiLzzt
9-06-02
Chili approaches one of the strange children.
Excuse me, that is this place?
This place is called Daveland, land of the Davys.
huh?
One day, they made a billion clones of Davy Holmes.
...and?
and he loves himself so much, we live together in perfect harmony!

 

by WiLzzt
9-12-02
So, you never argue, fight, have wars?
nope. We have a great time, all the time.
But, I thought they said opposites attract...
heh, heh.
Whoever said that didn't know Davy very well!

 

by WiLzzt
9-12-02
Meanwhile...
did I leave the oven on?

 

by WiLzzt
9-12-02
intermission
Belt Fiends

 

by WiLzzt
9-18-02
Meanwhile, back at the castle...
Did I leave the Zbob on?

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
Past....
Nice chest. I think I'm in love.
Nice ass. I think I am, too.
Present...
God, Wil, I miss you so much! I can't wait to be together and do unspeakable things to you for hours on end!
Future...
No time for sex, Wil. I've got to work on homework.
I'm too tired, anyway. I'm taking a nap.

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
After more obnoxious Davy-related prate...
shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up...
Not only that, but the entire economy revolves around the pet trade!
...Chili decided...
shutupshutup shutupshutup shutupshutup shutupshutup shutupshutup...
The official music of Daveland is Punka, the glorious synergy of punk and polka!
... that enough was enough.
SHUT UP!
... you were still listening?

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
Furthermore, Chili was sick and tired of being in Daveland.
I have had enough of this... One... Two... Three.
One... Two... Three. One..... TWO three. ONETWOTHREE! AGH WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Try clicking your heels.
Okay, I don't care if there are a billion more just lke you. I have two feet, and each one is going to connect five hundred million times with your butts!
see ya.

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
Meanwhile...
Hi... I'm Bauzaloozabub. I'm a famous carpenter. I made the chair I'm sitting on.
I am the Thell. You are Bauzaloozabub.
What the Thell is that?

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
Bauzaloozabub thought nobody else had ever noticed his carpentry, until...
I'm the biggest fan of your carpentry. I have traveled thousands of miles to find you.
really?
I come from a land where you are very famous.
really?
All the women there are beautiful and love you.
really?

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
All the men have your picture in their wallet.
really?
We have a holiday for you.
really?
... it lasts two days.
really?

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
Summer comes...
I'm hot.
then Fall...
I've got leaves on me.
...then Winter.
I'm cold.

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
Later, after the universe has spiraled down to entropy...
Wh... Where am I?

 

by WiLzzt
9-19-02
All they're doing is staring. Oh well, maybe there's something to it.
Still more years later, a tree grows in between them.
I AM A TREE

 

by WiLzzt
9-27-02
Still further into the depths of timeless entropy...
I AM A TREE

 

by WiLzzt
9-27-02
I AM A TREE
What the? We're old again! And I can't seem to change us back!
Whoa, check that out. For some arbitrary, break-the-fourth-wall plot-developing reason, that chicken there frozen in time must be the cause of our oldness! Let's take it with us.

 

by WiLzzt
9-27-02
I AM A TREE

 

by WiLzzt
9-27-02
Yet later, if you can call it later...
Huh? I must have dozed off. What's this tree doing here? *shuffleshuffleshuffle*
I AM A TREE
psst. The desert oasis from your youth. I will send you back in time. You must find it.
really?

 

by WiLzzt
9-27-02
And so, Bauzaloozabub traversed the desert. The fleshy protuberance jutting from his scalp acted as a kind of sail, creating wind drag and sliding him across the desert sand with little effort.
In this way, Bauzaloozabub traversed the harsh climate of the desert. All the time, the wind drew him nearer to the oasis where he had spent so many summers as a young child...
...but he couldn't remember anything specific about his past. This was, in fact, because he had never been to the oasis in his life, and this was a false memory implanted by the man in the dark robe.
really?

 

by WiLzzt
9-27-02
When the desert became less sandy, his progress slowed, but he did not mind.
Whoa! *splash*

 

by WiLzzt
9-27-02
it's the old oasis! But why was it covered over with a layer of dirt? Does somebody not want anyone to know it's here?
agh... my fleshy protuberance is dragging me away in the swift current! This place must be an underground river!
And indeed, it was an underground river. But where his flshy protuberance would lead Bauzaloozabub not even his wildest imagination could have concieved...
really?

 

by WiLzzt
9-27-02
*gasp* *sputter* what's this?
Bauzaloozabub! I knew you'd come! Honey, it's almost time for the party to start!
what's this?!
... oh, I forgot. You have anmesia, dear. I'm your wife. But there's no time to explain. We've got to get moving! Our town is starving, and we need your skills to save us!
((CLIFFHANGER!))
... you want me to build things out of wood?
No, silly. I called you here by the power of your protuberance so that we can eat you.

 

by WiLzzt
9-29-02
I am a red beard on the chin of life.
How do you figure?
I mean that life is Irish.
You mean starving and drunk?
So let that be a lesson to you kids: When life hands you a lemon, there's always potatoes.

 

by WiLzzt
10-04-02
Another land... Another time. The skeksis and the ur-ru were two races that for a thousand years had been total opposites.
Ur-ru are calm and moan loudly from time to time
Skeksis be da shiznit yo. AMBITIONS + Garthem = WE RULE
After a meeting with Aughara (played by Frank Oz), Jen, our hero, meets a weird girl.
UNGH *dreamfast* *dreamfast* BALBHAB WEIRD LANGUAGES
? I'm confused. Word up, winged animal-loving chicky-baby *plays bizarre flute*
In the palace of the dark crystal Jen stabs the crystal with another crystal and the Skeksis and Ur-ru combine to become Urskeks.
... what the hell just happened?
*gregorian chant* Now we're whole again, ABLHBLAHB MORAL *flies away*

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
AAAAAAAAAAAAGH *tries to run away*
Dear, it's useless to resist. Your protuberance will keep you here.
You're not going to take me alive, you, you.... CANNIBAL!
Ha ha! I think you misuderstood me. I said we need your skills so we can eat Hugh.
... really?
Yeah, before you were a carpenter, you were a great BBQ chef. Hey Hugh! Get over here!

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
And so, while the festivities raged at the oasis, Chili and Zbob happen upon the temporarily deserted town...
This place is deserted. Nobody's here at all, but it looks like someone or something was here maybe five hours ago. What do you think made them leave, Zubbie?
Hey, look over there, babe. Sounds like people are still in that building over there.
"The Temple of the Button." Well, THIS should be interesting...
Hey, you guys. I'm having an inner conflict here...
Shut your face.

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
(ooh! Six-panel simultaneous action! (view in forum by clicking the link to season two above)
EUHEUHEUHU ARHAOEEEHUHHE I'M BAKAKKKZZZZ AHEAEHIEAH RHA^#$*^Q@&%↓ΓÑÎá┌

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
(Speaker softly plays gregorian chant)
*Doooooon't preeeesss the buuuuuttttoonnnnn...*
I AM A BIG RED BUTTON
Zbob.... what IS this place?
(Speaker softly plays gregorian chant)
Don't look now, but I think we have a visitor from above...
*Doooooon't preeeesss the buuuuuttttoonnnnn...*

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
(gregorian chant: Doooooon't preeeesss the buuuuuttttoonnnnn...)
PREZZZ MY BUTTONZZ HEUHEUHUEHH UEHUEHUEHUH EUHUEHUEHUE
(gregorian chant: Doooooon't preeeesss the buuuuuttttoonnnnn...)
I AM A BIG RED BUTTON
... Zbob? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
HEUHEUUEHUHE PREZZZ THE BUTTONZZZZ
...
Hey, you little shits! Press the goddamn button or I'll come down there and beat your old asses!
uh.... Zbob? What should we do?

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
Tick tock, morons! I'm gonna count to five, and then you're gonna get it!
(Clown: One.... Two...) (gregorian chant: Doooooon't preeeesss the buuuuuttttoonnnnn...)
I AM A BIG RED BUTTON
(Clown: Three.... Four...) (gregorian chant: forrr heaaavennn's saaake, DOOOONN'T PREEEESSS THE BUUUUTTTOONNNNN...)
I AM A BIG RED BUTTON
here goes nothing... *press*

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
(ooh! Six-panel simultaneous action! View in forum by clicking the link to season two above)
*EXPLODE*

 

by WiLzzt
10-07-02
*dooon't presscracklecrackle zzzzzt*
*dooon't preeeessss tklckzzzzbbzzzt*

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