All comics by agnt_M

Profile

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
. . . . .

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
This is my life.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
This is the story of my life.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
The more things change . . .

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Back to Normal.
The great Mel Brooks once said, "Comedy is when I cut my finger--Tragedy is when I fall into an open sewer, and die."
Drum Snare, Please.
I wonder if there are any sewers around here...

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Truth.
What's the point of dating?
It's like one, long, never-ending scull-fuck.
Except, instead of the whole dying from trauma and loss of blood thing, you get "Dear John" letters and Breakup Lines.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Lies.
Dear agnt_M. Don't take it so hard. Dating isn't that bad. At least you have dates. And besides, girls like you.
In the words of the great Happy Noodle Boy...
...FUCK YOU!

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Letter to the Editor.
Dear agnt_M dude. All you do is bitch, whine, and complain. Don't you have anything better to do? Sincerely, eat_key_lime_pie.
To be honest?
No. No I don't.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
More with the Food Analogies.
Sex is not fast-food.
But that's what we're supposed to do.
In Closure...
It's like someone suddenly decided to turn human sexuality into a "Fuck-And-Run" contest.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Running short on Ideas.
I love the nightlife.
I like to 'boogey'.
AIIIIEEEEEEEEE!

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Anyway...
What am I doing up here?
Getting some fresh air.
I'm also convincing myself not to jump.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
In all seriousness...
Something needs to change.
Real fast.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Funny.
Who would have thought the Apocolypse would started with a Toaster Oven?

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
I'm pretty sure it's the fault of a Redhead somewhere.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
If I told you that you look like an angel...
If I said you had a beautiful body...
Would you hold it against me?

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Salvation is Pre-Ordained!
My boyfriend had the same problem when I told him I don't do physical stuff.
Except for mistakes in cars...
What? Oh. Yeah. That. ...He was always like, "Where in the Bible does it say Homosexuality is a SIN?" And I was like "LOOK--I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE"
Uuh... I have to go...

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
The more you learn about various Religions, the more you see they're all people trying to explain and quantify the same thing in their own cultural vernacular.
Yes and no.
Some Religions are WRONG. Nobody did the same things Jesus did. And besides. Whether you're saved or not is PRE-ORDAINED.
Actually, Siddhartha...
By the way. I'm Agnostic...
So you don't believe in God?

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Actually, being Agnostic is just a statement of "I don't know."
Oh.
Have you read the Bible?
The Bible, the Quoran, the I-Ching, various Hindu sacred texts, the history and teachings of Siddhartha...
You're talking to a guy who's a Philosophy major of five years, with a minor in Comparitive Religions.
God, some people are Ignorant...

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
The Uphill Battle Continues...
Besides. For a being that is Omnipotent, Omnipresent, and Omnibenevolent...
What does *that* mean?
It means All-Powerful, All-Knowing, and All-Good.
God can't be in everything...
Have you guys seen "The Exorcist"?
Eew No! That movie has things in it that are just NOT RIGHT.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
I do believe in Posession though.
Yeah. God runs through everything--Mental Illness, Posession, same thing.
God does not run through everything. That's Blasphemous.
So you're rejecting the fundamental beliefs of your Religion...
My dog used to get posessed by demons.

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
If I swore you were an angel...
Would you treat me like the Devil tonight?
If I said you had a beautiful body...
Would you hold it against me?

 

by agnt_M
11-05-02
Why do I have to be an Emotional Woman?

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Time for some Soul-Bearing.
You guys don't get it.
This is where I say the things I can't say to real people in real life. Or, where I talk about things that really happened to me that everyone else is sick of hearing about.
For instance...

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
For instance.
I'm going to be in some deep shit for doing this...
What am I doing here?
Nevermind that. People, this is ("name deleted for no particular reason").

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Am I dreaming?
Ok, let's not get into the Metaphysics of this. You already don't like my theology. Anyway...
I'm going home.
Uh... Heh heh. Ya can't. My reality bubble, remember?
Are you on drugs?
Sadly, no. I just have a few questions for you, then you can get back to whatever the hell you were doing. Contemplating Calvinism, or whatever.

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
First question.
What?!
Tell the nice people why you fucked me in the back of a car, and now don't want a physical relationship.
Are you... LISTEN. We ALREADY HAD this CONVERSATION.
I guess I just wasn't satisfied with the answer.
Well it's not like I was that satisfied either...

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Uuuh... Be that as it may... I still have a couple more questions for you.
You're freaking me out.
Look, at least I'm not making you beg.
That was Sunday night.
This is very invasive!

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Next question--What the hell.
I believe in hell.
That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking--WHAT THE HELL.
What do you mean?
I mean, "What the hell, why am I everyone's 'UH, IT WAS A MISTAKE' fling?"
Listen... I don't know. Work these issues out on your own time. I have a paper to write.

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Ok. This is all because I was watching TV's 'Fraiser', and...
...There was this scene--Why are you looking at me like that?
I think you're nucking futz.
Obviously not the real you. The REAL you doesn't waste swear words.
Is this one of those weird, "I represent part of your subconcious" kind of things?

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Exactly! You represent every woman I've ever dated. Only, you're just an easy target because of the fuck-in-the-car, blow-me-off-the-next-day thing.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, gimme a break.
Ok, so what's the 'issue' you need to work out before I get back to my paper?
Actually, this brings up another question.
Which would be?

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Why isn't the real you this perceptive?
Because of the whole "Represent Your Subconcious" thing.
Oh. Right.
I'm not letting you blame all of your problems with women on me.
You know, the whole "No physical touching" thing was a real kick in the nuts, though.

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
I really liked you. A lot.
Goodbye, ("name deleted again"). Good luck on the paper.
Thanks.
Hey, at least this time I didn't go for the whole hug and a kiss on the cheek thing.

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Epilouge
Ok. So where does that leave us?
Basically?
My lovelife sucks, and no one cares.

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Ok. Next interview.
I THOUGHT I ASKED TO BE CUT OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
Uuuuh... Wrong ex--You're already mad at me as it is...
Heh, heh... Uh, folks? We're having some technical difficulties... We'll be right back after this commercial break...

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Dad...? Can I have money to buy Crack Cocaine?
No.
Please?
Ask your mother.
Talk to your kids about drugs. Brought to you by the Partnership for a Free-Drug America.

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Ok. And we're back. For those of you TOO LAZY TO READ THE COMIC STRIP, let's recap.
When we last saw agnt_M, he was standing in the symbolic desert of his unconcious.
Well... Actually, it's more like a symbolic chapporal, but anyway...

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
I have a feeling I'm really screwing those Roman Numerals up too. Anyway...
Guess what.
I'm kind of concerned about this one...

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
This looks NOTHING LIKE ME. For god sakes. I had bigger breasts, and--
Hey. Gimmie a break. I ran out of Avitars.
Not to be confused with the other redhead.
This is kind of kinky.
Jackie, calm yourself.
Everyone, this is Jackie. First love of my life.
THEN WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU MOVE IN WITH ME?

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
This is Jackie, my LA ex. I was in a play, and fell madly in love with her.
THAT'S NOT HOW I REMEMBER IT, SHITHEAD.
Hey. I'm skipping details to save time.
You mean to save face.
Ummm... Anyway... How's that Long-Distance relationship going? You know, Long-Distance, as in the reason you broke up with me when I moved?
I'm going home.

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
She means that Metaphorically as well as Literally. Jackie is moving back to San Fransisco to date an old flame. Kind of romantic.
He's a football player.
I'm sure he is.
I'm a size 4 now!
I'm aware. Size four, DDD.
Just wanted to remind you...

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Anyway, I didn't want to mention it when Jackie was here, but I dated her when she was a size 14-16.
She broke up with me when she started getting really skinny.
But I'm sure that's just coincidence.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!

 

by agnt_M
11-06-02
Anyway, I didn't want to mention it when Jackie was here, but I dated her when she was a size 14-16.
She broke up with me when she started getting really skinny.
But I'm sure that's just coincidence.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!

 

by agnt_M
11-07-02
What he Ought to Say
You know, I'd say "FUCK YOU", but I already have...
I'd say you're a fucking hippocrate, I hate you, your Religious superiority, and your ravishing good looks
What he Really Says
Um... Have a nice day in class.
Thanks!

 

by agnt_M
11-07-02
Uuh... Hey again, folks.
That redhead in the last comic? That was the girl who slept with me and then told me she didn't want to have a physical relationship.
Now, you're probably thinking, "what a sucker" this agnt_M guy is.
You'd probably be right.

 

by agnt_M
11-07-02
Old Wounds
As long as we're exploring wounds of the Psychological genre...
I hugged the girl that fucked me over, and kissed her cheek.
I wish I could have done the same for the girl that really meant a lot to me.
I love you, Scooter. And I'm sorry.

 

by agnt_M
11-07-02
Boy do I have a way with words.
Scooter didn't fuck me over.
I pretty much bastardized that relationship all by my lonesome.

 

by agnt_M
11-07-02
Theatre Girls
You know, it'd be a lot easier to hate the girl who screwed me over if she wasn't so beautiful, and talented.
Oh crap.

 

by agnt_M
11-07-02
Request
This just in: We have a request for Blue Stick Guy doing funny stuff! Let's watch.
HEY! I'M BLUE STICK GUY! I'M DOING FUNNY STUFF!
APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE!
...Pretty funny, huh?

 

by agnt_M
11-09-02
THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE TAKE YOUR CAR.
YOU DON'T LIKE MY POWERSLIDES?
SISSY!
Hydroplaning around a corner and nearly taking out my mailbox is not a 'Powerslide'.

 

by agnt_M
11-09-02
THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE TAKE YOUR CAR.
YOU DON'T LIKE MY POWERSLIDES?
SISSY!
Hydroplaning around a corner and nearly taking out my mailbox is not a 'Powerslide'.

Showing page 3.

« Previous Next »