I thought I'd try and make you feel like a worthless idiot over some simple mistake. This lets you know that I love you enough to try and make you a better person!
What a coincidence!
I thought I'd take this opportunity to call your mother a fat, nosey cunt who raised a complete dipshit, so that she'll know I want her to do better next time!
I thought I'd take my girlfriend's unsolicited advice and just drag out a bunch of pissy, hurtful behaviour - indicative of the fact that I'm mildy annoyed with you.
I wont explain this behaviour and I'll probably try and shove it up your ass for as long as you'll hold still for it to see if you're "really a man" like my girlfriends said.
Hey! That's funny! Cause I was just about to drop you flat on your ass for treating me like dirt on a whim and start fucking your back stabbing girlfriend!
I'm planning on trying to make YOU feel shitty about the fact that I'm so distant and unforgiving since I don't really want to admit responsibility for making you feel neglected in our relationship.
Oh, that's ok. I plan to keep twisting the guilt knife, despite the fact that it just drives you further away from me, since I refuse to acknowledge that I'm partially to blame.
So.. Dinner at 7:00?
I guess. If that's the only time YOU can get away.
Now that we're a couple, I'd thought I'd launch into some huge fandango about defining my "me space" so that I can continue doing as I please and make you feel guilty about it.
That's fine. I pretty much planned on treating you like so much fucking furniture so that I can go and hang with my friends constantly without even thinking about your needs.
So.. I guess we should get back to doing all of the boring, meaningless things with shallow people that made us want a relationship, to begin with.
Look, mister pale-assed white man... This aint a robbery, I'm not selling crack or watches, and I'm gonna be late for class. You think you can just unclench your ass, now, and get on the bus?