All comics by cobaltman

Profile

 

by cobaltman
9-27-06
So you're the big shot goin' around asking what the point of moisture farming is.
Yeah. We have a right to know. I mean...we farm moisture to survive, just so we can farm more moisture. What's the point?
Where the hell would we be on this planet without moisture?
Exactly! Instead of farming moisture, we would be on a different planet, enjoying a bit of culture, comfort, and natural beauty.
Moisture.
sigh

 

by cobaltman
10-05-06
At ease, boys. I just heard over the radio that the Death Star has been destroyed, the Emperor is dead, and the Rebellion has finally succeeded in bringing peace to the galaxy.
well...that moisture ain't farming itself.

 

by cobaltman
10-07-06
I'm hangin' em up, Leon. My moisture farming days have finally come to an end.
Hanging what up, Boss?
You know...my moisture farming gloves. It's time I moved on from this business.
You don't own moisture farming gloves, boss.
Fuck you, Leon.
I'll miss you too, Boss.

 

by cobaltman
10-12-06
So..um...you programmed for self-preservation?
Nope...you?
Nope

 

by cobaltman
10-12-06
Hi there, Kiddo. Here to get a haircut? Boy, your hair sure does grow fast!
Yeah, it's as if it grows an inch a second!
Not that fast!
cunt.

 

by cobaltman
5-19-07
Sir! Outpost four confirms sighting of enemy tanks closing fast!
What do you think?
I dunno. What do you think?

 

by cobaltman
5-19-07
Attention! Look sharp, Private. Chest out, gut in!
And speaking of guts, don't you hate how Indian food gives us diarrhea?
Sir, yes Sir!

 

by cobaltman
5-19-07
What are you guys watching?
Happy Days
Happy Days
Happy Days
Happy Days
Happy Days

 

by cobaltman
5-20-07
Look, Sir...Droids.
*holds up metal ring*
elsewhere
heh heh...um...I appear to be...um...urinating uncontrollably...heh

 

by cobaltman
5-20-07
Ok, everybody listen up! I'm the General and I have an order!
Nonsense! I'm the General and it is I who have an order!
Anyone caught following the orders of this imposter will be shot!
And anyone caught following the orders of this imposter will be shot!
RETREAT!!!
RETREAT!!!

 

by cobaltman
5-20-07
Private...I've had about enough of your insubordination! Damnit to hell, it's a real pain in my ass!
Yeah...I get that sometimes, too.

 

by cobaltman
5-31-07
You can move along.
You can move along.
You can move along.

 

by cobaltman
5-31-07
Attention, crew! It appears that the ship has sprung a leak.
All hands, prepare to go down with the ship!

 

by cobaltman
10-29-07
You...I suppose you're programmed for etiquette and protocol.
Actually, I'm programmed to kill your wife and make it look like an accident.
I'll take this one.

 

by cobaltman
10-29-07
I have no need for a protocol droid.
Of course you don't. That's why I'm also programmed to give handjobs and play the theme song from The $10,000 Pyramid.
I'll take this one.

 

by cobaltman
10-29-07
You...I suppose you're programmed for etiquette and protocol.
Yeah...
...but I also cure venerial disease and frequently fall down open manholes.
I'll take this one.

 

by cobaltman
10-31-08
Hiya, Mom. Today I helped Mrs. Miller recover her lost pearls from the tramp who painted her garage!
This house is my prison.

 

by cobaltman
10-31-08
Hiya, Mom. Today I caught Bugs Meany and the Tigers trying to cheat in the big bike race. The mayor gave me first prize!
I watched you through the window today as you disappeared into the distance.

 

by cobaltman
10-31-08
Hiya, Mom. Today I solved the case of the missing safe deposit box. It was hidden right in the bank lobby!
Your father beats me.

 

by cobaltman
1-11-09
We made it, Santa! That mean old Mr. Grumly won't stop Christmas this year or ever again!
This isn't my house.

Showing page 3.

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