All comics by finn34

Profile

 

by finn34
9-14-05
So, then, you go down and you say "Holy shit! I'm the son of God!"
And then they kill you. To make them believe in me more.
How the fuck did I get talked into this?

 

by finn34
9-14-05
Oh crap! I fucking left pot everywhere. I never should've smoked that joint on the 5th day...
If I leave pot all over the place, people will think that they have to smoke it.
Damn it, now I'm gonna have to create Republicans.

 

I'm going to be so rich!
You bought 3 "Monsters Inc." toys from Burger King. That does not constitute a "collection"
by finn34, 9-17-05

 

http://www.venganza.org/
I have been touched by his noodly appendage!!
by finn34, 9-17-05

 

Everytime I see Condoleeza Rice I get a massive hard-on.
by finn34, 9-18-05

 

by finn34
9-22-05
WOOHOO!
What the hell is wrong with you?
I just won a couple of tickets to see The Grateful Dead!
Isn't Jerry Garcia dead?

 

by finn34
9-23-05
Man, last night I had the weirdest dream. I had gotten drunk and then talked about dreaming about sucking each other's cocks.
That was last week. That happened. You put my dick in your mouth.

 

by finn34
9-24-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!
I just came to check the meter, pal.

 

by finn34
9-25-05
Hey, you talked about doing a bet the other day...
Yeah, I want to see exactly how faithful your people are and try to sway them over to my side.
Well there's this Job fucker who needs an attitude adjustment...
I've got dibs on the fluffy couch.

 

by finn34
9-26-05
OMG! I'm the best! Feminists are hairy!
I don't like sex! Boys are gross!
Post your tits.

 

by finn34
9-26-05
What the fuck? You leave me down there for three fucking days on this thing?
Sorry, son. It was for your own good.
Don't "Sorry" me, I fucking died for you and your stupid followers' sins.
Hey, at least you got some nice tail when you were down there.
JUST THE ONE TIME!

 

by finn34
9-27-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
*beep*
*beep*
[What the fuck is a yerkin?]

 

by finn34
9-27-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
You go sister! Way to be empowered!
You make me wet.
Damn you, Judy. Now I HAVE to go jerk my yerkin.

 

by finn34
9-28-05
So, I'm fucking this chick in the ass, right? And she turns around and she says "Isn't that a bit promiscuous?"
And I said, "Isn't that a big word for a 2nd grader?"
OK, that was just wrong!

 

by finn34
10-02-05
A vote for Finn34 is like a vote for kidnapping Jennifer Love Hewitt...
... and performing sexy experiments on her.

 

by finn34
10-02-05
Unlike his opponents, Finn34 has never been involved in the sale of Napalm to Cuban refugees.
He's never purjured himself in a court of law regarding unsafe kitchen utensils.
Finn34 : Loves America, Kitties, Babies and the Elderly.

 

by finn34
10-03-05
Folks. Finn34 here to clear up some nasty rumors stated about me in ads by my opponent, HCRoyall.
My stability as a Stripcreator donor and as a comic creator is unquestionable. During my four year stint here I have brought you all to the verge of laughter.
This message paid for by Finns for Truth.
And if you don't believe me, I'll post HCRoyall's chatlogs from irc.fathornygoths.net,

 

by finn34
10-03-05
Is it fair to say my opponent is unpatriotic?
Most certainly. A vote for HCRoyall is a vote for Communism. It's a fact.
You know what else is a fact? How much I'm proud to be AN AMERICAN!

 

by finn34
10-03-05
Folks, the choice is simple. Finn34 is here for you when you need him most.
In times of crisis, he creates comic strips to make fun of them. And himself.
I can make these campaign promises, because I plan to enforce them.
He is a man of his word.
Word is bond, my nizzle.
Went a little too far with that one, boss.

 

by finn34
10-03-05
Yes, folks, it is true that I frequently visit an establishment called "Browneyes Gay Bar"...
And yes, it's also true that tearing mattress tags was once a hobby of mine....
But that is between me, my husband and God.

 

by finn34
10-03-05
Some of my opponents would say, "Why are you doing your campaign advertising from a bar?"
Yeah, why are you campaigning from a bar?
Shut up, fag.
Yeah. Why do you HATE freedom?

 

by finn34
10-05-05
I've been called many things during this campaign.
My sanity has been questioned, mud has been slung against my mattress-tag tearing younger years...
I'm here to tell you, I'm not FINN-ished by a long shot. Oh no. Not me.

 

Goddamnit, I love America!
Aren't you Canadian?
by finn34, 10-05-05

 

by finn34
10-05-05
Thus concludes my campaign for Comic Competition 300. My name is Finn34. Thank you all for listening.
Good night.
And everyone else is either a terrorist or completely batshit insane.

 

Where's the toilet paper? I feel a serious jerk coming on!
by finn34, 10-06-05

 

Damnit. There are 33 other Finns ahead of me!
by finn34, 10-08-05

 

You're gonna get KIDNEY FAILURE!!
by finn34, 10-15-05

 

I'm getting lucky tonight! Wooo!
Calm down there, Romeo. Where's my $20?
by finn34, 10-17-05

 

So, you won the Wet T-Shirt contest?
True story. Luckiest day of my life.
by finn34, 10-17-05

 

by finn34
10-18-05
Dogshit.

 

by finn34
10-18-05
Cuntflaps.

 

I DON'T BARK AT YOUR VAGINA!
by finn34, 10-18-05

 

by finn34
10-20-05
Man, I hate my first name.
What's wrong with Jason?
How about this one...
"Hehe. Where's the Argonauts?"
Who actually asks that?

 

by finn34
10-20-05
Man I hate my first name.
I'm feeling deja vu.
If it's not the Argonauts joke, it's "Are you related to Jason Voorhees? Are you a psycho?"
Well, are you?
Stay right there, I'll go get my chainsaw.

 

by finn34
10-21-05
What did you have for lunch today?
Seven blowjobs.
Working the corner again, I see.

 

by finn34
10-21-05
This chick is really into you just because you like Tori Amos?
Oh yeah.
How does that work?
She thinks, "Hmmm ... He thinks deep, I bet he fucks deep, too."

 

by finn34
10-22-05
Tough day at the office, Jerry?

 

RELEASE THE TACO!!!
by finn34, 10-22-05

 

Of course I came!
by finn34, 10-22-05

 

Of course you'll survive this episode... Ensign Whoever.
by finn34, 10-22-05

 

by finn34
10-23-05
OK, Gene, I can see why you're mad.
But I have to tell you, this is partially your fault.
If you hadn't selected an urn that was an electrical conductor, your grandfather's ashes wouldn't have been scattered when we hit it with a cattle prod.

 

by finn34
10-23-05
Life insurance pays off triple if you die in a plane crash.
I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
What?
20 seconds, it's getting exciting. Can you see alright?
Tyler, don't do this!

 

by finn34
10-23-05
!uoy llik I !eiD !G nhoJ er'uoY
!ON
My wife was killed by John G. I'm gonna kill him.
You're John G! Die! I kill you!
NO!

 

by finn34
10-23-05
They peed on your rug, Dude?
I'm going to get a new rug!
My wife was kidnapped, here's the ransom money.
Whatever, man.
She kidnapped herself and the German Nihilists cut off their girlfriend's toe.
Donny just had a fucking heart attack!

 

by finn34
10-25-05
What the HELL!
OK, Gene, I know you're upset...
UPSET?! You don't know the half of it!
Listen, Gene...
Where I come from, Prick-A-Hole-In-The-Condom is a national pasttime.

 

by finn34
10-25-05
OK, Bill, we know you've got hostages. What are your demands?!
Hard liquor. Some whores. Some blow and a new gun.
In that order.

 

by finn34
10-26-05
A few months ago, I went on a trip to Canada. It was like another world ... For one thing, cigarettes.
They're more expensive than in New York and they come with this great warning.
Right on the side, big block letters ...."CIGARETTES WILL KILL YOU"

 

by finn34
10-31-05
Who are you supposed to be?
I'm Gabe from Penny Arcade.
What the fuck is Penny Arcade?

 

A scan of your area indicates a 75% chance of me getting some hot, sweaty, monkey-love.
Ohh. Talk nerdy to me!
by finn34, 10-31-05

 

by finn34
10-31-05
Knock Knock!
Who is it?
Trick or tr-- OH MY GOD~!
HOLY CRAP~!
Where did you get your costume? 'Cuz it's awesome.
COSTUME?!?!

Showing page 3.

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