All comics by flipynif1

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by flipynif1
4-02-05
Good Morning tech support..
Yeah, my DSL don't work...
Ok sir, Have you double checked the connections?
I TOLD YOU IT DOESN"T WORK, DON'T GIVE ME YOUR FANCY TALK JUST FIX IT..
Could you please plug the ADSL modem into the wall and see if the green adsl light syncs
I TOLD YOU MORON....oh there it goes I guess I didn't need YOUR healp afterall, jeez doesn't take much to be a tech eh? *click*

 

by flipynif1
4-02-05
I hate being white...My dick is so small...
Is it? Mine is actually 6 inches soft.
I measure from my asshole.

 

by flipynif1
4-04-05
So as you can see nature can harness a power that your Rock Stars and Movie Icons just cannot fathom
So what your saying is that Nature has the power of a Slipknot concert?
Let me describe it to you as you would understand...
Presto Change-o
o/^ HERE I AM, ROCKIN LIKE A HURRICANE!! o/^
*headbanging*

 

by flipynif1
4-04-05
The two Canadians decide to play 20 questions..
Hmmm...Can you eat it?
I guess you could.
Is it moosecock?
You're hired!

 

by flipynif1
4-04-05
BABY SHOWER!
Oh MY!! Come in come in!
Bang.......bang.......bang......bang...bang
No you don't understand...BABY SHOWER!!
Shower me baby, gifts gifts GIFTS!
Bang Bang bang bang BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

 

by flipynif1
4-04-05
Waaaahhh Daddy all the boys at school think i'm ugly *sniffle
Hmmm that isn't good at all little ug..I mean darlin
They say i'm so ugly i'm OOGLY..
Well I think I can help...
Presto Chage-o
o/^ THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.. o/^
*ugly headbanging*

 

by flipynif1
4-04-05
Welcome to McWendy King how can I take your order?
RAAR!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW!
I'm sorry sir that is not on the menu is there anything ON the menu I can get you?
RAAR!! TOBOR WILL SHOW YOU WHAT HE MEANS!!
Presto Change-o
o/^ EVERYBODY HURTS SOMETIMES o/^
OwwwWWwwwWw

 

by flipynif1
4-05-05
I'm Asian
*cough*

 

by flipynif1
4-05-05
We are here to mourn the passing of Ripley Indigo Peterson... he was a conservative man of few words and now is off to heaven..
My daddy go to heaven, what dat?
Well little child, I have a Hymnn that may help you with understanding...
O-tay.
Presto Change-o
o/^ ...AND SHE'S CLIMBING A STAIRWAY, TO HEAVEN o/^
*poopy headbanging*

 

by flipynif1
4-05-05
PUT THAT FUCKING KNIFE DOWN AND EAT YOUR GOD DAM BROCOLLI!
I cannot eat brocolli NO NO NO ...*twitches out*
Flashback 10 years ago
PUT THAT FUCKING ICE CREAM DOWN AND EAT YOUR GOD DAM BROCOLLI!
I cannot eat brocolli NO NO NO ...*twitches out*
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Fuck, I don't know.

 

by flipynif1
4-05-05
RINGRINGRING
Goddam phone won't stop ringing...GRRRR...I am SO stressed out!
Johnny, it sounds like you are stressed out.
What the fuck, are you a parrot? Can't you hear the phones, THE PHONES!
Well it could be worse, let me explain...
Presto Change-o
o/^ RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING BANANA PHONE, BOOP OOP EE DOOP! o/^
OMG RAFFI!! *headbanging*

 

by flipynif1
4-05-05
*fwap fwap fwap fwap* uhhhhhh
Fucking sick man....I'm gonna use the womans can..
*fwap fwap fwap fwap* Oh yeah
What the....Fuck, you can't be serious...sick...that is so absolutely disgusting...I can't even begin to....
*fwap fwap fwap fwap* mmmmmm
Hmmm...more purple...

 

by flipynif1
4-05-05
Wow I have never seen a dog on ball before that is so neat, my dog can't do that, what is your secret, how do you keep balance..
Is it very hard, it looks hard, I wish I could so something like that but my parents keep me on a bungi leesh all the time, what else can you do
*whizzes in girls mouth*

 

by flipynif1
4-05-05
Here Sheepy Sheepy
Not again
Where are you Majesta? Here sheepy sheepy...
...and that's the problem.
Well It seems to me dat you have unt problem wit commitment, let him down gently and all vill be well.

 

by flipynif1
4-05-05
*brap*
Oh...MY...God...That is sooo disgusting, I can't belive you just farted in front of me on our first date.
Hahahahaha
I'll show you...GGrrrrrrrrRRRRRuuuuughhhh *push PUSH PUSH!* *BRRRRRRAAAPPPPP*
Uh...I just made that sound with my mouth.
I'm sure yours had less slobber.

 

by flipynif1
4-06-05
The Beginning of the night...3 beer
Oh god!
Hey hunny, buy me a drink?
9 Beer
Hmmm, Maybe
Hey hunny, how about that drink?
A full 24 pack
I love you *hic* baby....lesh make love!
DY-NO-MITE!

 

by flipynif1
4-07-05
Oh my god *sob* She is LEAVING me for a woman?!?!
Wow, that certainly makes one quesiton their manhood.
SHUTUP *sob* YOU ARE NOT HELPING...I'm gonna KILL MYSELF!
Maybe I can help.
o/^ Would you know my name, If I saw you in heaven? o/^
*swaying, dies*

 

by flipynif1
4-08-05
'Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, do-Wah!' ...It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, and Mentos is fresh and full of life.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HELP!!
Nothing gets to you, staying fresh staying cool, with Mentos, fresh and full of life. Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness, fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life!
gurgle
Ahem
Mentos, the freshmaker?

 

by flipynif1
4-08-05
'Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, do-Wah!' ...It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, and Mentos is fresh and full of life.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAH..
Aaahhhhhh HELP! uh
Nothing gets to you, staying fresh staying cool, with Mentos, fresh and full of life. Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness, fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
gurgle
Mentos, The FRESH maker!
*winks*
Ha ha ha, oh you.

 

by flipynif1
4-09-05
Get your skis shined up, grab a stick of juicy fruit, the taste is gonna move ya! Take a sniff, pull it out! The taste is gonna move ya when you put it in your MOUTH!!
Oh yeah...MWAHAHAHAHA
HELP!! RAPE!! AHHHHHHH...muffle muffle
Juicy fruit, it's gonna move ya. Juicy soft, it goes right through ya. Juicy fruit, the taste the taste the taste is gonna MOOOVE YA!!
NOW YOU DIE!! MWAHAHAHAH
AHHHH...HELP!! HELP...gurgle gurgle
*winks
Ha ha ha, oh you...... .............................................. .................wait a minute...

 

by flipynif1
4-09-05
Dear John..

 

by flipynif1
4-09-05
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom stuck up your butt would you tell anyone?
No?
Wanna go camping?
DUDE, WTF?

 

by flipynif1
4-12-05
The crew is dead...all I have left is you Penelope, my love...You are my only reason to live...I love you Penelope my sweet feefee...
I better go get my sock

 

by flipynif1
4-14-05
So george what are we gonna do today George whaddaya wanna do today..
AH SHADAP!
PUNCH!
You know you're a real ass!
Really? I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I was being an ass, kiss me beautiful!

 

by flipynif1
4-14-05
Is it bad? Oh my god, I hope everything is Ok!
...
Well, what does it say? Are you OK, do you need a friend?
...
Are you OK? Do you need a hug?
IT'S A GODDAM READERS DIGEST SUBSCRIPTION, MORON!

 

by flipynif1
4-14-05
MWAHAHAHA!
Is this the line for the Snoop concert?
giggle
I'll make ya an offer you can't refuse..
Well one of them did it, one of them is a sick, depraved pyscho that raped and brutally murdered that little girl, but which one?
Through years of training I have mastered the powers of deduction, it is.....NUMBER 28!

 

by flipynif1
4-15-05
Man I am so SICK of this STUPID island and eating STUPID coconuts!
HEY! What the hell do you think YOU are doing? That's my favorite chair!
OH NO YOU DINIT!

 

by flipynif1
4-15-05
Man I wish my GF was nicer to me, she's such a bitch lately!
Gee I wonder why, you call her a whore, you ditch her all the time, and never even listen to her!
I see...
Well what can I do?
Try cheating on her and maybe punch-a-size her face a bit, she'll come around!

 

by flipynif1
4-16-05
Do you have a cat in heat?
RRROOOOWWWWOOOWWW OWWWWROOOWWWW ROWROW ROW ROWWWWWW
Froo-froo used to be in heat for what seemed like YEARS, I love my cat and wanted to help!
Then try *NEW* GUN! It will fix that lovable cats problems, and yours, FOREVER.... warning:maycausedeathfeelingsofgodlines heightenedselfesteemdiarreanausea...
KAAK
Now with *NEW* GUN Froo-froo will never have to have that nasty "heat" problem again, and we can BOTH sleep better *winks
$19.95 from K-TEL!
Excellent, the pieces are all falling into place.. MWAHAHAHAHHAHAH *cough cough* HAHAHAHAHAHHHAA

 

by flipynif1
4-22-05
20 minutes later...
It show me menu...
Ok, please use the button on the LEFT side of the mouse since it's on your right side...
I tell you, it show me menu....
That's becasue you are using the RIGHT mouse button, please click on the one on the left...
Still menu...
AHHHHHHH #&*@^$*&#$^*#@&$* $@# &*$^*&@#^ $ #@&^$@*#&%^*(@#!&

 

by flipynif1
4-23-05
So I says ME SO SOLLY CHAWLIE!! HAHAHAHHA
HAHAHA Dat a good one, ME RIKEY!
I have anoder joke for you...a man walks into a bar..
OK I imagine dis now...
OwwWWwwww

 

by flipynif1
4-23-05
Man it was the best night of my life except for one thing..
What was that?
Well after I finished givin it him up the ass we fell over onto the bed panting and sweating..
Go on....
and then he wanted to cuddle!! WHAT A FUCKING FAGGOT!!

 

by flipynif1
4-23-05
Monday
*Cough gag*...OOOO OOO AHH AHH! *SPEW*
GOD DAMMIT! THAT MONKEY JUST SWALLED A POOL BALL!! Sir take you monkey and LEAVE!!
Next Monday
Sir you monkey is acting innapropriately, again I must ask you to leave..
What do you mean?
He just jumped on the bar, shoved a grape up his ass and then ate it.
What do you expect, after the pool ball last week he measures everythin first.

 

by flipynif1
4-23-05
Bored lonely, Bored lonely, Bored lonely....HEY I KNOW i'll make my own work...YEAH!
Hello Shirts R' Us, where our Internet connection is more important than living how may I help you?
Hi I heard that you had some problems with your ever-so-important internet connection..
What? no everythings fine here.
Server Room
CRACKEL FRRRZZZTTT
MWAHAHAHAH NOT FOR LONG! MWAHAHAHAHAH

 

by flipynif1
4-23-05
*BWANG BWANG BWANG*
HOLY SHIT DUDE STOP!
*BWANG BWA* Stop...why?
Man you'll damage your brain like that.
Oh don't worry it won't do any dama dama dama dama dama dama dama dama dama dama damage!

 

by flipynif1
4-23-05
Dad where does toast come from?
The toaster son!
No seriously, I put a piece of bread in there and toast came out, where did the toast come from?
The toaster cooks the bread and it becomes toast son.
Dad...I'm gonna count to three..

 

by flipynif1
4-23-05
Mom, why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Uh...Why do YOU think it does son? *nervous laughter*
Well?
Is that the phone next door?
*CLACK CLACK* It's huntin season...

 

by flipynif1
4-23-05
Baby brother, when french people swear do they say pardon my English?
Cooo BBBBBWAAA SQUEEL
I asked you a question..
*poops*
Nap TIME! *BOOM*

 

by flipynif1
4-28-05
Oh doctor, I've been feeling so out of sorts lately I think i'm getting close to the end.
Don't say that, we'll check you out and i'm sure you'll be the epidimy of health!
Well Doc, what's the prognosis..
You have 10...
10...10 years? GREAT! I didn't think I had it in me...thanks Doc!
9....

 

by flipynif1
4-28-05
So then I punched him in the face.
No wonder you got fired...punching your boss is definetly a no no!
That's not what I was fired for.
Oh really?
Well...when he was unconcious he just looked so sexy and innocent....

 

by flipynif1
4-30-05
FRANK, FOR THE LAST TIME GET THAT DAM PUMPKIN OFF THE PORCH, IT'S MAY FOR GOD SAKES...squack squack..
Excuse me, excuse me, HEY DADDY GUESS WHAT, excuse me DADDY I'M SPIDERMAN GOOD Excuse me..babble babble
AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh *mindless babbling
Kill me, Kill me, Kill me, Kill me.....
And you honestly believe they won't find you here?

 

by flipynif1
5-03-05
Hey baby, you lookin for some hot action?
OY! You'd have to pay me for YOUR hot action!
Hey baby, check out dis booty, you KNOW you wanna stick it in me. *shakes tail*
How about you give me $150 and I'll jerk off while you shake that old-ass booty. *fwap fwap fwap*
And that's what happened to all the money.
Mom, I still wonder why I let you talk me into this.

 

by flipynif1
5-04-05
Man, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy then Revenge of the Sith!!! Life doesn't get any better than this!!
Well we could have real girlfriends.
Define real.

 

by flipynif1
5-04-05
So my wife and I decided to try a little S and M.
She sleeps and I masterbate.

 

by flipynif1
5-04-05
Ahem..
MWAHAHAH....Oh, let me explain.
This better be good.
Well you see...uh... She.....uh...Hey is that my mom calling?
DAMMIT

 

by flipynif1
5-06-05
*Squish squish..
Oh yeah...oh baby, yeah take it all, uh uh uh...
*Squish squish..
Ahem, Sir, Do you realize you are fucking a pumpkin?
*squish squish*....Uh.....Is it midnight already?

 

by flipynif1
5-07-05
We have a puzzle here, Inspector Lonnrot.
Indeed. Indeed! What do you think happened here?
It looks like my wife was brutally raped and murdered...*sob
And that's where you're wrong...becasue You're on Candid Camera!
She's alive??!! Oh my GOD My LOVE!!!
No, she was raped and murdered, but you should have seen the look on your face!! HAHAHA!

 

by flipynif1
5-07-05
Wow I can't belive I slept with a total stranger, but it was the BEST!
It was alright I guess, sorry about not wearing a condom.
You didn't wear a condom?
Nah..but its not like I have AIDS or Ghonorrea or Syphillis or Herpes!
Really?
Um... not really.

 

by flipynif1
5-09-05
I saw a news report that this woman was using Vaginal Cream for her face and it messed her up!
Really? Shit I better switch to Anusolâ„¢ then!
Word.

 

by flipynif1
6-01-05
8:00am
...and bunnies and i'll learn about bugs and airplanes...I LOVE YOU DAD!
OK Son, I'm off to work, don't "Internet" yourself too much, I don't want you too get too smart...*guffaw*
8:30am
Hmm, I guess everything free to learn i've already seen...hmm what is this XXX mIRC?
5:30pm
I'm home son...if your brain all full of....EGADS!!!!
| \/\/45 0\/\/|\|3|).

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