All comics by muffindance

 

McDonald's by muffindance 9-04-09
I'M SO PISSED OFF!!!!! YESTERDAY I GOT KICKED OUT OF MCDONALD'S FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON	THEY SAID, "IF YOU REALLY HAVE TO SMEAR KETCHUP ALL OVER YOUR NUTS, AT LEAST DO IT IN THE BATHROOM AND NOT ON TOP OF A TABLE WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU"	I DON'T SEE WHY THEY'RE SO UPTIGHT

 

Eating Contest by muffindance 9-04-09
YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE HAVE CONTENTS TO SEE WHO CAN EAT THE MOST HOT DOGS? THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT I DO	EXCEPT INSTEAD OF EATING THEM, I JUST SHOVE THEM UP MY ASS	AND INSTEAD OF HOT DOGS, I USE RUSTY GARDENING TOOLS

 

Dictatorship by muffindance 9-06-09
I AM THE DICTATOR OF THE WORLD	WAIT, FUCK. I ACTUALLY MEANT TO SAY I WANT TO SUCK EVERY DICK IN THE WORLD	I NEED TO STOP SMOKING ALL OF MY GRANDPA'S RAT POISON

 

Work by muffindance 9-06-09
MY BOSS JUST ASKED ME HOW MUCH I ACCOMPLISHED THIS WEEK	I TOLD HIM I HAD DONE NOTHING BUT MAKE A HUGE POWERPOINT PRESENTATION OF ALL THE GAY PORN ON MY COMPUTER	THEN HE GAVE ME A PAY RAISE

 

A Normal Day by muffindance 9-06-09
HEY MISTER, WHAT'S WITH THAT ORGASMIC FACE YOU'RE MAKING?????	A TEAM OF HOBBITS IS SHOVING A SANDPAPER-COVERED BEAM UP MY ANUS	THIS BOWL IS FULL OF RADIOACTIVE JIZZ

 

A message from HQ by muffindance 9-06-09
DEAR READERS: SOME OF YOU HAVE POINTED OUT THAT WE AT MUFFINDANCE HAVE BEEN BLATANTLY RECYCLING PREVIOUS JOKES	WE ARE AWARE OF THE PROBLEM AND ARE CURRENTLY TAKING ACTION BY FILLING OUR RECTUMS WITH JELLO	I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT A STEADY STREAM OF DIARRHEA IS FLOWING DOWN MY LEG

 

Psychiatrist by muffindance 9-06-09
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME, MR. PSYCHIATRIST?????	IN MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION, YOU ARE A GIGANTIC FAGGOT	I'M SORRY, COULD YOU REPEAT THAT? I WAS BUSY SHITTING ALL OVER YOUR CARPET

 

Satanism by muffindance 9-06-09
I WORSHIP SATAN	I THINK YOU'RE CONFUSING SATAN WITH GIANT THROBBING PENISES	YOU'RE RIGHT

 

Humpback Whale Penises by muffindance 9-06-09
HI, MY NAME IS PATRICK	MY HOBBY IS DEEPTHROATING HUMPBACK WHALE PENISES	I ALSO LIKE VIDEO GAMES

 

Labor Day by muffindance 9-06-09
DADDY, WHY DO BRITISH PEOPLE SPELL "LABOUR" WITH A "U"?	BECAUSE THEY'RE GAY	THAT MUST MEAN I'M BRITISH

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