Welcome back to Animal Entertainment Television, America's most watched entertainment program!
We will show you seconds-long clips of a brand new George Foreman sex tape...BUT FIRST, let's check in with our correspondent in Iraq for an important update:
Thanks guys. Brad has taken a vow of silence to the press, and Angelina is still fat with child. Back to you.
Tomorrow we show you an EXCLUSIVE new interview Desperate Houswives star Felicity Huffman did with ETA just yesterday!
What guy hasn't had that dream about Hillary Clinton as a firefighter? The answer may suprise you! All that and more tomorrow. I'm Mary Hart, thanks for watching.
Welome back to Animal Entertainment Television, America's most watched celebrity gossip horseshit!
That's right Mary!
Tomorrow, we check in with disgraced figure skater Tonya Harding who, by all accounts is still an irritating white trash bitch, and who has gained at least 90 pounds since her heyday, hasn't she Pat?
Haha, yes, she certainly looks the part now more than ever. Woo! What a day!