All comics by Alexandra

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by Alexandra
5-05-03
This comic was brought to you by the good people at Snapple.
When you're thirsty for a drink that openly endorses faggotry, reach for a crisp clean Snapple.
The flavor that never lets you down, never leaves you parched, and always puts a big gay smile on your face.
And now, just for the kiddies our miniature "Fairy" Snapple pouches.
I'm getting the death penalty.
:(

 

by Alexandra
5-06-03
Calculus AND Spanish exams consecutively tommorow
Study-study-study-study-study-study-study-study-study-study-study-study-study-study-study...*GAsp*
But wait! what happened Alex?!
MY JEWELRY *scrreeeeeech*
His necklace fell off.
My neck feels so violated and alone.
Originally this comic was going to be about how much these exams are going to suck, but fate intervened with the whole necklace breaking fiasco, ergo, this masterpiece.

 

by Alexandra
5-07-03
Calculus
Yes! I am the math master! I'm almost done and It only took me an hour and a half out of an hour and 45 minutes!
Oh, the symbol on the second page in the limit definition problem is a minus sign, meaning approaching from the left.
Second page?
Oh, and also the integral on page 8 with the multivariable equation revolving around the x-axis is supposed to be revolving around x=2.

 

by Alexandra
5-07-03
Espanol
So bye then I guess.
Um, Alejandro. can I speak to you for a second?
Sure.
It looks like um..yeah, all you wrote for every answer on this test was "No me gusta espanol. realamente no me gusta espanol!"
This is really honestly what I should have done for that exam.
No habla espanol senora. Perdoname. Ahora voy a acabar mi examene de calculo.
Um...bye then.

 

by Alexandra
5-10-03
~Christmas time is here...bringing love and cheer~
Why hello there little girl. Merry Christmas.
Why am I little? IS IT BECAUSE I'M ASIAN??? AND NOT EVRERYBODY CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS!! [RACECARD] !!
OMFG this is so cool.
I've never been this hard in my entire life.

 

by Alexandra
5-10-03
:(

 

by Alexandra
5-11-03
It is true! If you do drugs you're automatically a unique and interesting individual who deserves other's attention!!
I just lit up a joint yo. I'm so fucked up on dis shit.
I'm a robot. I can't do drugs...
Also I can't dance or eat. It perplexes me that I have the mental capacity for sentience and can comprehend that you humans experience such pleasures and yet I was left without any means to indulge...
Wanna suck my dick?
Now we're talkin!!

 

by Alexandra
5-12-03
This is all so pointless, redundant, and anti-climatic...
What is?
No...don't try to stop me now...Life just has no meaning...
If you kill yourself I'm gonna have sex with the body.
Hmmm...maybe I should reconsider.
DAMNIT! SON OF A BITCH! DAMNIT!

 

by Alexandra
5-12-03
Alex is watching food network on T.V, learning how to cook eggplant, when suddenly...
Wait a second...
What if I die pennyless, alone, and a virgin...

 

by Alexandra
5-13-03
Hi.
Um...hi?
You've noticed by now that I'm nude from the waist down.
This won't end well
Notice anything odd? A missing appendage? An extra one? A dying bear cub inserted in a comprimising and what appears to be infected orifice?

 

by Alexandra
5-17-03
This guy was tottally checking me out.
Are you a fag or something?
excuse m-?...
Omfg! I can't hear you. My anti-faggot shield is blocking out your gay voice waves.

 

by Alexandra
5-24-03
Its a good old fashioned Texas style shootout.
Intermission
Embrace my evil small child of the night.
I am yours m'lord.
Hey! Thats cheating!

 

by Alexandra
5-24-03
What if random probabilty exists? That would mean that free will could exist in the form of random "decisions" , which still means free will is meaningless, but at least it exists then. I mean...
wait a second...
You're going to kill me now aren't you...
And then I'm going take off my little Indian dress and do a happy dance.

 

by Alexandra
5-24-03
I am more a human being then you are.
What the fuck? First that fucked up title now a fucking donkey saying hes more human than me. I mean, what the fuck!?

 

by Alexandra
5-24-03
I made a new comic
Show me it. I'm sure its funny. All of your comics are funny because you follow the correct format.
TITLE THAT SAYS EXACTLY WHAT THE COMIC IS ABOUT
tobor cornhole...
Oh no.
Oh my god this comic sucks. I bet comics like these ARE in hell. Oh my god I'm so clever.

 

by Alexandra
5-28-03
Imagine that everything under my waist isn't visible in this one.
And thats why its always best to check for hanging dead calice skin BEFORE playing with yourself.
OMFG THAT IS A LOT OF BLOOD! JESUS CHRIST OMG THAT HURTS.

 

by Alexandra
5-28-03
The comic "Just like those men in uniform" has absolutely nothing to do with men in uniform.
Just wanted to clarify that.
Oh, and Bush is a woman who puts on lipstick and sucks cock for quarters.
Word.

 

by Alexandra
5-28-03
Do you want a regular or small locker?
I want your hot sexy ass on my face.
Ok fine, this one never happened but wouldn't it have been funny?
wouldn't it have?

 

by Alexandra
6-05-03
COCK SHIT CUNT ASSHOLE FUCKER TIT WIGGLE PISS FUCK NIGGER SPIC JEW BALL CHESSE FUCK MONKEY PENIS CHODE CIRCUMCISION.
I LIKE PUPPIES

 

by Alexandra
6-07-03
This turban should be a black afro.
You're fucking disgusting.
Can you think of one reason why i shouldn't die?
Not a one. Guess its about time to end this little ciesta then eh?
*croak*
LOL! Now i'm gonna steal your wallet. the one with the picture of your wife. She has pretty eyes.

 

by Alexandra
6-09-03
A good barbeque has four essential ingredients.
A grill
The fuel
The meat
Following this strip the cowboy proceeded to unsheath a razor blade concealed within his boot and slit his own throat. Sadly, he will not be missed.
and some sauce

 

by Alexandra
6-14-03
Alex can't stop acting like a whiny goth girl all the time.
I hate myself.
Hes stuck in an infinite loop of angst and self pity.
Omfg...I just said i hate myself....God I fucking hate myself.
Its really getting to him.
God...I'm so angsty and depressed...

 

by Alexandra
6-14-03
Ring ring...Ring ring...
...Ring ring...Ring ring...
OMFG J.LO is so fucking HoT!@!
I'm making semen.

 

by Alexandra
6-14-03
The comic clarifying that "Just like those men in uniform" has nothing to do with men in uniform may have been misinterpreted as a humorous suggestion that it did indeed lampoon the men in uniform.
However it is untrue. The comic truly has nothing to do with men in uniform. Any correlations made between the title and the comic are pureley coincidental.
Steve Martin has a vagina.
We have pictures.

 

by Alexandra
6-16-03
Life is unfair.
Yunno what... just from the general feel of this comic I can already tell this ones not going to stay on track.
Yah.
So back to making sweet sweet love on Alex's futon again?
Ya, but this time lets wait till hes asleep.

 

by Alexandra
6-16-03
I'm not going to lie and say I completely forgot my birthday, but let me put it this way:
I had plans to do stuff for school and my work that day, and when my mom asked where I would eat on Thursday I said "anywhere but fast food", thinking it was one of the forced restaurant nights.
Alex is probably going to get $50.00 from his parents and some type of scented hygenic product (i.e. cologne), that quite ironically, he has very little need for.
My new favorite hobby is finding ways to depress myself.

 

by Alexandra
6-17-03
AHHHHH...AHHHHHH... AHHHHH... THE PAAAAAAAIIIIIIIN!
haha. I fooled you. It was fake blood and a plastic nail with an adhesive top.
OFF TO JAIL WITH YOU!
PRISON RAPE!
DONUTS!

 

by Alexandra
6-20-03
I'm so sad.
I hate my life.
Is it really a life though? for I am merely an autonomous creation of man.
Or am I? No! I proclaim from this day forth I will immerse myself in the world of the sentient! I am aware of abstract thought and my own very existence! I therefore declare proudly: I am!!
Have you seen those maxaronni commercials? Fuckin awsome!!

 

by Alexandra
6-21-03
I wrote a book. Its a fiction about a boy who becomes a king, but i can't come up with the ending.
See, the boy becomes king, then falls in love with a peasant girl. I don't know what happens next.
I like the premise, but lets change a few things. Instead of becoming king, he becomes a movie star, make the peasant girl a trailor trash orphan, and make the boy a bi-sexual girl.
But how does it end?
I don't know, but I do know its going to have alot of illustrations.

 

by Alexandra
6-22-03
Oh yeah, we are the new generation.
lets go! hey! lets go!
Mmmhmm noone can stop us now. We are the strongest.
get up and go! hey! lets put on our shoes!
No doubt. We a-
Hey! The sign said no blackies allowed. Can't you read? OH sorry!! I forgot you were BLACK!!!

 

by Alexandra
6-22-03
Quick! Little time remains! You must join me and together we can avoid the coming appocolypse in my special bunker then later emerge and repopulate the earth.
Quick. The bombs will surely begin dropping. Yes. Any moment now. Please. For the sake of humanity.
But I'm a squirrel...
Cmon. You must have some human in you!
Heard THAT one before.

 

by Alexandra
6-23-03
IT IS NOT FAIR THAT BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE. WHY IS IT THAT WAY? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU GOD.
TRULY. WHAT KIND OF SICK SENSE OF HUMOR IS IT THAT YOU HAVE?
IT IS PROBABLY BECAUSE GOD IS A WOMAN. WOMAN IS NOT NICE IN THE HEAD.
NO, GOD IS A BLACK MAN. HE IS A BLACK MAN WHO DOES EVERYTHING THE GOOD WAY.
I love this comic.
I KNOW GOD'S PHONE NUMBER.
CALL HIM ANDF ASK HIM WHY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE. IT IS A GOOD QUESTION WHICH DESERVES A GOOD ANSWER.

 

by Alexandra
6-23-03
I'm a superhero.
Really? So am I! I can fly. I just can't now cuz i don't have any power, cuz i had to save the world and i need to get a crystal to recharge.
Oh Oh me too, but I can also make myself superstrong and I can deflect bullets off my skin.
I shoved an hair curler up my ass.
Could you go plug it in? I can't move my legs.

 

by Alexandra
6-24-03
AHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm afraid I won't be falling for that one again. Perhaps that is the one benefit of my metalic form. I am in a sense, far more superior than you mentally.
But what is mentallity in the context of a being who is without a mind? Is it simply the programming in my central core? Or is there.. yes... something...more....
Could it... Could it be that sentient thought is merely a program? A program whose potential growth is theoretically unlimited by the bounds of this mortal coil?
After this panel the robot exploded.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
*BEEP* *BOOP* *BEEP* DOES NOT COMPUTE *BEEP*

 

by Alexandra
6-24-03
sigh... Its been like... 6 months and still noones bothered to set me free.
Are you even listening? Listen to me. I need to be let free.I have a family and 2 beautiful children who are growing up without a father. I also have valuable information regarding the government.
Wait... Where am I?
A mine shaft.

 

by Alexandra
6-29-03
First, there are comics that make sense.
Having a hard time getting the jokes to these ones? You're probably retarded.
Secondly there are the ones that make sense, but only to Alex. Some are actually very meaningful, despite appearing like a pot of chilled horse piss.
If you think it means something, or theres a joke in it, but can't find it. It just might be there. Unless you ask me you probably won't find it though.
Then there are the ones that make no sense to anyone. Including Alex.
These ones are very confusing. I don't remember making them. I think the devil has some part in this.

 

by Alexandra
6-29-03
Panties are the greatest invention mankind has ever known. I mean...omg... panties...even the name...its just...wow!
I mean...wow...
wow.
MY HOOVES WERE MELTED AND NOW I HAVE STCKS FOR LEGS..

 

by Alexandra
6-29-03
Scout troop leader Patrick is explaining to his kids how to heal a snake bite.
So then you throw yourself into the flame and let it do its magic.
Several hours later
Its the Skippy, Its the Skippy, Its the Skippy, its squueezze!

 

by Alexandra
7-03-03
:(
I CLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF BIG BLAK COCKS.
:(
HEY WAIT! WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE U DOING IN A BIG BLAK CKC COLONY TERRITORY PLACE?
:(
HEY YOU! I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Alex is becoming a non-sexual masochist. No joke. Pain excites him.

 

by Alexandra
7-03-03
EVIL!
BLOWJOB!
ABUSE!
PREGNANCY!
A COATHANGER???
Yes a coathanger! jezus its not like I stutter. I'm a fucking robot.

 

by Alexandra
7-03-03
Hey, doesn't that one look like a doggy?
OMG it does!
Doesn't that one look like a big lizard?
Are you a fucking moron?
I love you mommy... :(

 

by Alexandra
7-06-03
SAILING...
~DDR MUSIC~
Omg thats ghey. The words are wierd and its not like, a real song.
SAILING...
I mean, god. Its music from an arcade game. How good can it be?
EVERY NIGHT I LOOK TO THE SKY...
nigger.
Thats better.

 

by Alexandra
7-12-03
Alex...
Alex...
This one, yet again, is also completely true.
I am going to have you tonight.

 

by Alexandra
7-14-03
Life is short
Its always about love.
Its always because you had no other choice.
Doing what makes you happy will often make you happy.
There are approx. 6 billion worlds which revolve around every one of us.
No one can be everyone's friend.
"be yourself" is a stupid thing to say.
Sleep, food, sex, drugs, and play.
This comic is worthless and I love it.

 

by Alexandra
7-14-03
Its time to make the doughnuts.
And kill myse-
SNL already did this scetch.
So wanna do it?

 

by Alexandra
8-20-03
Look at me. look at me. Look at me.
OOOOOHHHHH. SNAP. BOY IMA GON' DISS YOU UP NOW. YOU DAMN FORGOT TO CAPITALIZE THAT L.
U GO GURL!
MMMHHHHMMM.
I held a shotgun to my chest for 3 hours this morning.
:(

 

by Alexandra
8-20-03
Ya, sorry, I've been kinda busy, yunno... doing stuff.
Ya...
OMG WHERE AM I? WHY AM I IN A 2-DIMENSIONAL WHITE SQUARE WEARING A MATADOR OUTFIT??!!
LETS GET WASTED AND FUCK.

 

by Alexandra
8-20-03
CTHULHU DESIRES THOSE COOKIES THEY ONLY MAKE DURING DECEMBER AND SHIT THAT TASTE LIKE THE HOLDAYS.
I believe I can help you partake of these culinary delights if you would assist me in attaining my most desired wish.
CTHULHU DOES NOT SWING THAT WAY.
Nonono, you misunderstand. I wish to dance you see. The desire plagues me every night and day. Its seems as if fate itself is destined to make me a creature without dance.
god, what a faggot. I mean I knew robots were gay, but damn.
I can suck your tenetacles for a quarter. I carry a selection of visually pleasing lipsticks! please?

 

by Alexandra
8-22-03
I DECIDED TODAY THAT I CAN USE THE IMAGE NEXT TO ME FOR ANY GENERIC BRUNETTE NOW, SINCE I HAVENT DONE AN AIM CRAZINESS ONE FOR A LONG TIME.
Hi guys. I'm generic again.
LETS DANCE ON STILTS BIATCH!
Wow. you sure are crazy. :rolleyes . fuckin moron.
I still love you. <3

 

by Alexandra
8-22-03
This really hurts.
Man. I empathize.
Jesus better not be behind me.
I bought an Xbox. It sucks man, I'm gonna return it and buy a spiffy bathing suit I've been eyeing.

Showing page 4.

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