All comics by Lord_Vodek

Profile

 

You're a pretty lady can i have your number
by Lord_Vodek, 1-22-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-24-09
Man
+Women
=Baby

 

I'd kill you but the stink in this bathroom and the nail in your head will do it for me have a nice day.
by Lord_Vodek, 2-03-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-03-09
At the blue screen comedy club satan tries his hand at comedy
Why is the mike so far above my head? Very funny guys.
That's better now heres a true story for you. I was walking down the street and there was a little girl crying cause her puppy was hit by a car.
*chirp chirp*
Hahahahahahahaha oh come on that was classic

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-03-09
Nothing? Oh well what did satan say to the sinner?
Your mine! Hahahahah
Laugh Damnit people. This is quality shit. How about a racist joke?

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-03-09
Follow me to the flash back panel
The Flash Back
I'm not giving you my soul for anything.
Your black i don't have to try to get your soul. God don't let niggers go to heaven
Haha that was funny shit haha good times good times

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-04-09
You guys are all idiots my jokes are funny you shall all pay
Satan has finnally cracked and is causing wanton destruction in downtown Denver we now bring you live to Jimmy the Inappropriate Sportscaster, Jimmy?
With a special guest apperance from: Jimmy the Inappropriate Sportscaster
Well Susan, I'm here in Downtown Denver and this is the most destruction i've seen since the time my ex wife found out I got AIDs from that hooker in Chicago

 

It's time to stop doing drugs when this is what you see everytime you are tripping
by Lord_Vodek, 2-11-09

 

Are you singing safety dance?
And if they can't dance then they're no friends of mine.
by Lord_Vodek, 2-11-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-12-09
We are so fucked

 

I have just been violated. I want my motherboard.
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

Feed me Seymore
Feed yourself i've got a turkey sandwhich
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

Hey you sexy beast
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

He's gt a divine ass and soon very soon it shall be penetrated.
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

Guest star: Dave from no one likes dave.
Hi i'm dave.
Strike me down god strike me down.
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

Withthe return of Dirty Cow!
That cow sure is staring at me alot...
I'm a dirty cow a dirty cow
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

I'll kill him before he kills me
I'll kill him before he kills me
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

Fuck me
She has AIDS
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

Oh shit she want's me to do her
Do me hard big dick do me hard
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

Not sure which one you don't want to be trapped with mr ugly eyes or ax man with bunny fetishes
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-24-09
As I lay dreaming one night the thought occured to me
I would really like to live the Pirates of the Carribean
Then i saw this guy walking torwards me with a sword and a boner

 

Two unspeakable horrors
Spare some change?
In the words of the great Stewie B. Griffin "I'm going to kill you"
by Lord_Vodek, 2-24-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-04-09
2:54 P.M Friday
I'm never gonna file this all by three oclock
2:55 P.M. Friday
Thank you for selecting Microsoft Filer. You papers will be filed in 8:50:49 hours
2:56 P.M. Friday
I'm so fucked
Thank you for selecting Microsoft Filer. You papers will be filed in 8:50:48 hours

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-04-09
Coffee?
Sure why not
That's good stuff

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-04-09
Smith
Mr . Anderson...
Jab Kick Punch
Block Block Block
To Be Continued...

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-26-09
The Honey Moon
*Juliet Juliet Juliet Juliet Juliet Juliet*
*Romeo Romeo Romeo Romeo Romeo Romeo*
*Mercutio*
*Romeo Romeo Romeo Romeo Romeo Romeo*
Fuck
Who?

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-26-09
You like the force don't you bitch
Use your lightsaber on me use it
Juliet!
Oh Romeo I'm Sorry!

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-22-09
All students we have maniacs on the loose dive under your desks so they don't find you
I love beer
Who the fuck are you?
That will be all
I want more beer
Where the fuck am I?
Principal Squirel out
Beer...
This guy is crazy

 

Millions of my unborn children died on your daughters face
!!!!!!!!!
by Lord_Vodek, 4-27-09

 

Hi nice to meet you i met your duaghter on a street corner
!!!!!!!
by Lord_Vodek, 4-27-09

 

I used to be a man
What?
by Lord_Vodek, 4-27-09

 

I'm completely broke and marrying your duaghter cuase she'll inherit your money when you die
Your kidding
by Lord_Vodek, 4-27-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-27-09
Our first date included but was not limited to rape and running from the cops
Wait where's that idiot of a son in law?
Pete is on Vacation banging your daughter on some tropical island
oh ok

 

When you die i'm going to break your multi billion dollar company into small peices and sell them to rich men
ok that does it where the hell is my chainsaw?
by Lord_Vodek, 4-27-09

 

The condom broke that's the only reason i'm here
Good greif of all the losers she could have gotten stuck with it had to be this one
by Lord_Vodek, 4-27-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-27-09
When we last left our idiot Pete of which we are all so fond of he was getting into an even deeper hole
What the hell happened to that kid of yours anyway?
I sacraficed it to the overlord satans then dined on its flesh
You what?
Just kidding everyone knows babies taste like shit
*Resist....urge...to....kill*

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-27-09
*Sigh* Life without dirty cow just doesn't seem worth living
Whats the matter Pete? You seem upset
Oh nothing just thinking about how much i love Jenni
Oh ok then

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-27-09
Pete writes a letter to his secret letter Dirty Cow
Dearest dirty cow, My love for you knows no bounds. With every moment i miss you more and more signed, Your love, Pete
She writes one back
Dear Pete as wonderful as that first night was i must stress this again it seems LEAVE ME ALONE I HAVE FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER, Your former love, Dirty Cow P.S. I'm a dirty cow a dirty cow

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-27-09
Pete is brooding over the lack of anal he is having with the slutty cow when his father in law steps in
Hey Ted
Hey Pete what's the matter?
I just had my heart broken
Really?!? My daughter left you're loser ass for a nice man?
No, we are still together. It's my cow she doesn't want to have sex anymore.
Breathe ted breathe count to ten remember your exercises

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-12-09
Dad you are sick...We are never doing that again
Bu-
No, dad you are sick...We are never doing that again
But...
Fine but make it quick

 

That was quick
by Lord_Vodek, 5-12-09

 

I love heavens "tentaclejobs"
I don't get paid enough for this shit i should go back to japenese porn
by Lord_Vodek, 5-12-09

 

Do you have any idea who could have massacred all these sweet little children?
I think it was the guy in accounting
by Lord_Vodek, 5-12-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-12-09
Due to complications in surgery George Bush has died.
We now take you live to where our very own Fred Fredman is on the scene with the surgeon. Ted?
Thanks, Susan, Everyone here is rejoicing and congress is meeting as we speak to decide whether to make this a national holiday and here is the hero himself, Bob "Butterfinger" Smith
Uhhh...Whoops?

 

Your shoes are untied
by Lord_Vodek, 5-12-09

 

Pull my finger
by Lord_Vodek, 5-12-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-12-09
4/4/0
When i get down someone is in big trouble
4/5/0
*Sigh*
4/6/0
Why don't you use your god abilities and just get down?
Who do you think i am? Jesus?

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-12-09
Shhh it's a secret but i love you
She's asleep can i sneak out?
He thinks i'm asleep now we find out if he's boy friend material
Damn it!

 

I will ride you one of these days
Mother fucker
by Lord_Vodek, 5-12-09

 

And on the 7th day he rested
by Lord_Vodek, 5-12-09

Showing page 4.

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