All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-08-16
"Titan Arum", when it blooms but once yearly, smells like rotting flesh!
Say Maura, come see the "titan arum", otherwise known as the "Corpse Plant".
Uh......yeah, it's awesome! *QUEEEEF*
DAMN! Keep her stinkin arse outta here!
Jeepers Maura...I believe it stinks even more NOW. You must have activated its scent glands.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-08-16
So is that the "Men's Room" or the "Ladies Room"?
I'll take a peek inside!
Well?
Beats me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-09-16
CNN Control Room.....
Did that woman just say "pussy" on live TV?
Yup!
There.....she just said it again!
...and again...and AGAIN! Quick...cut to the "Pets Mart" commercial!
"At Pets Mart", we CARE"
Here at the "Pets Mart" grooming center we take great care with your pet.
See that you DO. MY pussy is used to being caressed. In fact I stroke my pussy most all day long to relax.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-09-16
So Ivana, did you hear that CNN contributor claim on live TV that your husband was a pussy grabber?
I did hear her say that, yes! I think that it's reprehensible.
And your response is, what?
(For the record)...Sinking to that level of vulgarness only demonstrates her low self esteem and glut of moral flaws.
Any words of advice for her?
Fuck that cunt! If she EVER talks that crap again I'll tear off her head...skull fuck it and shit sown her neck! (Off the record, of course!)

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-09-16
The gentleman at table 5 would like to speak with you!
Oh oh!
I say...are YOU the one responsible for this "meal"?
Did you like it?
It was very delicious but now I feel as if I could die any minute. So...did you prepare it or not?
If you can ask me again in 15 minutes then, yes, I did! Otherwise...NO!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-09-16
Folks...making a Ford F-150 out of aluminum is...
...just not safe. Think about it. Would you drive around at 70 MPH....
...in a soda can? Thought not!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-10-16
During 2nd 2016 Presidential Debate...
Wow! Did a fly just land on Hillary's face?
Tell me you saw that too!
Yeah, so? Why so surprised?
Well, uh.....
Look...as Dung Beetles we already know that flies land on shit.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-10-16
Hello, former self!
So how's this workin out so far?
Hard to tell. The site has become all but abandoned!
It has?
Yeah...and I.... HEY! Where ya going?
It's a secret!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-10-16
At the Halloween Parade.....
Oh oh...
What's that...?
Ungh...
...awful stink?
Hell Maura...you shit like a freakin Clydesdale?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-11-16
So why did ya wanna meet here, porky-gu4u?
Damnit Lunch, be quiet! Remember I'm being stalked by those ruthless Lithuanian sicarios.
Oh yeah...THEM! I thought we were gonna discuss finding RCLG.
He's here in a confessional.
Asking for forgivness, I take it?
Nah...more like swapping jokes with Father Crotchgrabber.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-11-16
Father Crotchgrabber, have you been with RCLG?
Who wants to know?
We'd rather not say!
Neither would I. Confessor/Penitant priviledge you see.
So what did he say?
I think he just stuck me with one of them priestly non-denial, denials!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-11-16
*knock, knock*
Who is it?
RCLG! I'm here for my "usual" treatment!
OK...ok, gimme a sec. I gotta charge up the battery and find the old enema bag!
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh....
Geez...I'd say keep yer pants on but THAT would be counter-productive! Wouldn't it?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-12-16
"...and now the shackles are OFF and I'm going after the entire G.O.P.!"
The "Donald" is in rare form I see!
"And don't forget to get out there and vote on Nov. 28th."
The 8th, you fool...the 8th!!
"Then we can all go out & grab some pussies!"
For him to be elected, the voters will have to drown a fifth before voting on the 8th.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-12-16
I'm joined with former President, Bill Clinton.
Thanks for having me.
So....how is your family?
Hillary & Chelsea are just fine....
And your son?
That "Black Sheep" of the family, Danney Williams, is really fucking up my Juju!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-12-16
"....and this just in...Miley Cyrus has come out as a Pansexual".
She is SOOOOO hot. I love to see her twerk.
In fact I'm gonna get the Kleenex and the " Jergens Lotion" and then....
Moments later in the kid's room.....
Why were you masturbating into a skillet, son?
I guess I'm a "PANsexual".

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-13-16
On the set of "Deliverance"...
Well...did I get the part?
You WOULD have but...
...Ned Beatty works cheaper!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-13-16
In Africa, the native's tiny huts get trampled by herds of wild elephants on a rampage!
Should I trample it?
No! Sit on it...but wait till somebody is inside. hehehe
Sadly, their homes get ravaged by other beasts & insects as well, leaving many homeless, injured or even DEAD!
So you suck out all their blood? That's so cool!
Maybe...but YOU get to cover em in maggots!
But that's all the time we have this week on "Kangaroo Jack's Nature Safari"! Tune in next week when we...
...head north to the Arctic Circle...
...to film the always fun & popular clubbing of baby seals. You won't want to miss it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-14-16
*knock, knock* We're here to ask you to vote for Donald Trump!
Ha! You gotta be kidding.
Please..you musn't believe all those lies being spread about his attitudes toward women.
I'm sorry pal but there isn't anyone on THIS entire planet that believes THAT line of bull.
We do!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-14-16
Hurry up son or we'll be late for "Bring Your Kid to Work" day at the office.
OK, pops!
So THIS is where ya work, huh pops?
Yes, my boy. Follow me to my office. I'll introduce you to my secretary!
Hi there. I'm Phreaky.
I'll just bet you are. If those are real, no wonder dad likes you!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-14-16
Oh no...LOOK!
Yeah! There goes the neighborhood!
This kinda thing just happens.
Maybe...but it's only when those damned Sicilians move in.
If ya want help from US...fuggedabowdit, pal!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-15-16
Son, your mom caught you masturbating again. You MUST be punished.
You mean...?
You know the drill. It's for your own good. Go to your room and prepare yourself.
If she only realized how counter-productive this is!
Now bend over and put them feathers on those flippers!
OK, Mom...I mean...Madame Domanique!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-15-16
The decorations look great!
I hope the party goes well.
Don't worry. What could go wrong?
Remember that threat from last year?
Last Halloween......
I sware if she dresses as a witch again next year I'm gonna take a dump in the dip!
SHHHH! She may hear you!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-15-16
Bacon Boy, thanks for coming over to hang out.
Sure, Lunch...but to watch the Weather Channel? What's up with THAT?
Oh man...you just gotta see Maria Larosa. She's so H-O-T!
I'LL be the judge of THAT! Where's the TV?
...but alas, Mr. d_bacon is rather naive!
She SOUNDS nice but I can't see her! You been rubbin cinnamon rolls on the screen?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-16-16
Oh my God! Is THAT Gary Busey, Jen?
It sure looks like him.
Let's put him to the test!
Yeah...I'm Gary Busey. How can I prove it to you?
There's an apple on the ground behind that picket fence. Crawl over there & pick it up with your teeth...between the slats!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-16-16
At the Halloween Party.....
So who are you supposed to be, anyway?
Are you blind? I'm Dracu-stein!
Barry, my love... is that YOU? You said you'd come as a GAY character
I did! I'm a Queer-wolf!
Gee Pierre, what kinda costume is that? A Cellist, maybe?
Duh! I'm a math genius!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-16-16
On the set of "The Godfather"...
My script calls for me to be in the bed! Will it hold my weight?
Not your entire body but all I want is your severed head!
...the hell with THAT!
Damn coward....but the show must go ON!
So a "replacement" was needed, and the rest is history!
"Central Casting" just sent me over. Ya wanna see my "Head Shots"?
Now there's a "Trooper" if ever I heard one!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-18-16
A chance meeting of 2 of our heros...
You are rather pastey white...aren't YOU Lunch?
You're no George Hamilton, yourself, bacon bits!
Well I'm gonna stay out here till I'm brown as a berry.
Not ME. It's too damned hot!
But Several Hours Later...
I made tuna salad for us but I smell something burnt.
I know. There's a blanket down the beach with 300 lbs. of burned pork steaks on it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-19-16
In the hotel room of Jonathan Demme...
Nothing to say, then? Your stoicism is inspiring!
...he decided to direct his masterpiece..
That's IT! I have my next project!
..."Silence of the Lamps"!
*yawn*

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-19-16
Recent haps with Brad Pitt.....
Listen Fairy, I want that Anniston babe back, muy pronto!
Your wish is my command, Master, but you'll need a....
A what? What do I need?
For THAT, you'll require a....
A WHAT, damnit?
...bigger Fairy!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-20-16
So...did you watch the final debate last night?
I tuned in to em ALL. The best use of time I ever spent.
That's a rare reaction. Why'd you deem them so important?
Simple...I needed the sleep!
Touche'!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-20-16
makin_d_bacon seeks out a specialist!
When did you first notice the problem.
They began to show up at last night's "Harry Potter" Halloween Party!
Well, Mr. d_bacon, it's nothing serious. However, from what you've just told me it's not hemorrhoids as you suspected.
You're positive? They sure feel like hemorrhoids.
Maybe so, but in my opinion what YOU have is called ..."Hogwarts"!
Oh yeah? I want a 2nd opinion. You ain't the ONLY Chiropractor in town, ya know!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-21-16
Noticing a disturbing trend our heros...
ragu4u? Fancy meeting YOU in this solitary space.
Quite true, my alter ego Mr. d_bacon!
Can you think of ANY place more desolate and lacking of life and imagination?
Only one! The...
...said in unison....
..."Stripcreator.com" website?
..."Stripcreator.com" website!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-22-16
Dual in Arizona...
Rex, we'll each take 10 paces backwards!.....
Then we draw and fire! Let's do it!
10...9...8...7....6...5...4...3...2...
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...
...at the Grand Canyon!
...1 hehehehe
...1...ayeeeeeeee,.....

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-23-16
So Madonna...is it true that you'll give oral sex to anybody that votes for Hillary?
Actually I said I'd give them blow jobs!
Isn't that unfair to women? What would the First Lady say?
What COULD she say?
Uh.....
SHE'S got a bigger dick than her husband.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-23-16
Maura's 1st Hollywood gig...
Your leading man should arrive any minute, doll face.
Is it Brad or Shia or maybe Denzel?
...isn't exactly what she anticipated!
Actually he's a huge name in the Van Nuys film community, and here he is now!
Oh, I can hardly...
...wait!
Here I am you lucky bee-otch! It's "Big Dick Daddy From Cincinnati"! You DO swallow, right?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-23-16
Allow me to comment on your recent comic efforts, if I may?
OK! I don't see how THAT could hurt.
*Ahem*......It's horse-shit. Utter HORSE-SHIT! Any response?
Yeah...
"OUCH"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-23-16
Did ya hear Madonna is giving out blow jobs to guys that vote for Hillary?
You're kidding?
NO! I heard it on TMZ. They got her saying it on tape.
Really? A B.J. for a vote? THAT just ain't right!
Why?
Because hers used to be FREE!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-24-16
At home with ragu4u...
Damnit....AtomicLunch has adulterated my most favoritest literary character, Old Yeller!
Oh shit...here it comes!
Ya big cry-baby!
Wah, awah awah awaaaaah!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-24-16
Hi...My name is Jenni.
There! I've created the perfect sex-robot....
...well, ALMOST!
So, with only a minor bit of tinkering.....
...and I LOVE to swallow!
Voila...my work is complete!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-24-16
In a cheap road-side rest room....
Listen up Cracker...
What?
I don't care if ya'll wanna spray my Ho wit Lysol...
...just knock off that "choke hold" shit! Ya feel me?
???

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-24-16
When ragu4u was a boy......
"Old Yeller" was just a movie, son. He didn't REALLY die so stop all that crying!
For true? Prove it!
How?
I wanna SEE him...in my room!
So, after a few phone calls....
I don't care how much Disney paid you. I can't afford 5K for a days work!
Ya can if ya wanna stop all that kid's crying like a skinned cat! So pay up...booby!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-25-16
Timmy, I've told you to stay OUT of the paint. Now go to your room!
But ma...it wasn't me!
It was YOU, I bet!
Damn right, lil brother and I'm gonna see you get blamed for it every...
...28 days!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-25-16
Listen woman, nobody will ever find me hiding here in Africa!
You're delusional. Your picture has been posted globally!
So what? Nobody here even cares.
You're in denial! You NEED a reality check.
But as usual, Lenny misunderstood....
She's NUTS! Even tho I AM in "The Nile" I STILL think nobody cares!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-26-16
You guys made her for US?
Yes! We want you robots to be happy. You like?
How cute! He just jizzed himself!
Damnit...she noticed.
This one sure does. Look at him blush!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-26-16
In the offices of "Hire -a- Midget".......
And you are...?
Butz is the name...Seymour Butz.
I find it hard to believe your parents named you THAT!
Actually, I picked it myself.
For what reason?
It has to do with my point of view!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-26-16
...doesn't always make you a profit!
Who is it?
It's Bambi from "Blind Escorts" you ordered, sir.
I hope I'm all you expected.
Absolutely, darling! You DO know who I am, correct?
Yes, and I love all your films Mr. Redford so I'm giving YOU a freebie!
Like taking candy from a baby!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-27-16
On a dark, desert highway.....
Welcome to the "Hotel California", Mr. d_bacon.
Such a lovely place! What time is check-out?
Oh...you can check-out any time you like....
How marvelously convinient!
...but you can NEVER leave!
What the...? Ya get chilly all the sudden?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-27-16
Where singles go to meet......
Oh sing me a song, a good song of the sea...
...weigh, hey, blow the man down.
Oooh, Me likey that idea...
But later, in the ship's "Brig"......
So, "...blow the man down..." wasn't solicitation for a blow job?
Fraid not, pal!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-28-16
At home with ragu4u.....
Aha! I see that, once again, Lunch has played "The Undertaker" card!
Uh huh.....for the umteenth time, he claims!
For what kinda time? Ump teeth? What the hell have umpire teeth got to do with anything?
Stupid AND deaf...what a combination!
Besides, only fags are into "Sports" oral hygiene!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-28-16
Grant me a wish, oh Wizard!
Aye...but only one, my lad!
Make my name bring PAIN to all those who hear it!
Your wish is granted, Big Thor Hiney!
Well THAT backfired! Now my arse is killing me.
Sorry...no refunds!

Showing page 4.

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