All comics by Screendummie

Profile

 

by Screendummie
4-07-05
You wanna bitch about Corporations now?
Yeah, they're like ruining the environtment, starting wars and shit.
But didn't you us Big Oil's products to drive to the mall? And then buy your "youth" clothing, junk food, make up, and music at some corporate chain store?
Um...yeah.
Again, you're being an American idot.
But I ain't an idiot like Bush!

 

by Screendummie
4-07-05
Yeah...Bush is an idiot. He doesn't like have a mandate from the people.
Mandate? Let me give you some names of Prezes who didn't have a majority.
Man, I bet you can't name any.
Oh yeah? How about both Clinton terms, Carter, Nixon's first term, Kennedy, Truman, Wilson twice too, Cleveland, Harrison, Garfield...I could go on.
But nothing was closer than the "stolen" election of 2000!
Are you kidding? Kennedy had barey 100,000 more votes against Nixon with a difference of .17! Geez, you dipshits learn nothing in skool.

 

by Screendummie
4-07-05
Shit...If I wanted to learn all that I would go that one place.
You mean high school?
Whatever. You sound like my...fuck...what was that person who teachers?
A fucking teacher, dipshit.
It doesn't matter cause I'm going to Harvard when I...fuck. Line?
You're on a roll here, toots.

 

by Screendummie
4-10-05
Welcome to Three-Dollar Burger, how may I fuck up your order?
Fuck my order? I didn't think your bitch-ass could do worse than last time.
Then you don't know me then, you damned Vulcan.
Your bitch-ass is calling me a Vulcan? I'm not gonna bother wasting my powers on you, asshole.
So you saw the reality of it all then?
You're think your little witty puns work on me? Boo-hoo, bitch.

 

by Screendummie
4-11-05
So, what would you like on our menu?
You got anything white meat related? I have a craving for it today.
White meat? Yeah, we got plenty of that. Don't think we ever run out.
Lemme see. Last time I had the Hillbilly Cheddar Ranch Bacon Burger.
Should I suggest our new awsome Whiney Elitist Burger? It comes with rancid tripe.
Awsome? Shit, it doesn't even have bacon in it.

 

by Screendummie
4-11-05
Thanks again for letting Eidolon and me to stay here.
Think nothing of it!
You're taking this real well ever since...well...
Since you two juiced up my Liberache tribute?
Yeah, that. But I do have some news that will truly break your heart.
Say it ain't that! I want to be the stunning bride in leather chaps!

 

by Screendummie
4-11-05
Are you really upset? Or is just one of your annoying play on words?
I'm coo with it. No point in being jealous of something I can't have.
I wasn't expecting you to be positive.
Yeah, well, I'm a solo kind of man. I don't need an ol' ball and chain, though I love using them.
Umm...yeah. Well, whatever you do in private, more power to you by never letting me know.
Can do!

 

by Screendummie
4-11-05
So you're tying the know with whatshisname?
Yeah, we're gonna have a summer wedding.
Umm...I thought you wanted to go back home and all.
Yeah, but then I realized my life with a demon while living in hell was alot more interesting than my old life.
What was your old life?
Oh...I was a liberal arts major stuck shoveling baboon shit.

 

by Screendummie
4-12-05
I feel a hot wind on my shoulder.
At a touch of a world that is older.
I turn the swtich and check the number.
I leave it on even when I slumber.
I hear the rythmes of the music.
About a product that I'll never us it.

 

by Screendummie
4-12-05
So, how did you become a zombie?
Oh, I thought I had pink eye after a friend had bitten me at a game.
Pink eye, what the hell does that have to do with being a zombie?
You don't seem to understand pink eye.
What's there to fucking understand? Pink eye and zombism are two different things.
I can see someone hasn't been embalmed with Worcestershire Sauce either.

 

by Screendummie
4-12-05
So, how did you become a zombie?
Oh, I thought I had pink eye after a friend had bitten me at a game.
Pink eye, what the hell does that have to do with being a zombie?
You don't seem to understand pink eye.
What's there to fucking understand? Pink eye and zombism are two different things.
I can see someone hasn't been embalmed with Worcestershire Sauce either.

 

by Screendummie
4-13-05
I know that Satan's still pissed off with Eidolon and stuck him in Gay Heaven indefinately, but how can you manage to stay here.
Oh, I did some experimenation in college?
Really? Hot lesbian action?
Actually, I fudged on that.
If it isn't hot lesbian action, was it drugs?
Umm...I was actually a cow tipper.

 

by Screendummie
4-13-05
Watch out! There's ghosts inside me!
Huh?
Be afraid! Evil spirits will come after you and kill you!
You call that scary?
*click*
There you go. I defeated you with the off button.

 

by Screendummie
4-13-05
I think that Japan is simply a guinea pig for the U.S. when it comes to games and shit.
Yeah? Explains all the bugs? That they get and we don't?
Yeah.
Since Japs are more crazy for games and shit like that, you know we should give each gamer a free barrel of toxic waste with each game they buy and five for like each system they buy.
You could call them "Toxie Avengie" expansion packs!
Brilliant!

 

by Screendummie
4-14-05
Are you sure you wanna see the "Amityville Horror"?
Yeah, pop, I wanna go see all the sweet, sweet insanity.
What if this remake blows chunks?
Oh, I'll just set the place afire like usual.
What did I tell you aboot arson now?
Never use gasoline. Always make it look electrical.

 

by Screendummie
4-15-05
Man, you're telling me The Blair Witch sucked?
Damn straight. Just a rip off from that cult classic Cannible Holocaust.
Whats so great about a movie named Cannible Holocaust?
Lets begin with rape, actual killing of animals, debauchery, murder and a guy being made a eunich.
Shit, I wanna see that now.
Good thing. If you didn't, I'd have to eviscerate your tongue.

 

by Screendummie
4-16-05
So it was that bad?
Yep, and the multiplex lit up like a Roman candle.
What could've been so terrible about it.
Shit! Another fucking CGI evil spirit "The Ring" knock off.
Don't tell me they forgot the dad swimming in the pool of blood!
Fuck, they even made the priest a pussy.

 

by Screendummie
4-16-05
From recent jealous whiners, we've decided to be accepted.
Yeah, for now on we'll talk about generic blandness.
Lets do celebrities! Can never have to many jokes about the same present and has been celebrities!
Shit! I love celebrites!
Which ones are your favs?
All of them! I love their ignorant brains! Yummy!

 

by Screendummie
4-16-05
Nothing brings a better laugh track than every dead celebrity that recently died!
I have so many dead celebrities as buds.
What would those be?
Oh...Richard Nixon, John Dillinger, Joe Stalin, Billy Carter.
Billy Carter isn't a celebrity.
But I loved Billy Beer!

 

by Screendummie
4-17-05
Sometimes you have to pander to political partisanship to get your knob polished.
Yeah, I hate politicians. Fucking John Quincy Adams stole the damn election!
John Q. Adams?
Yeah! He fucking didn't win either majority of the vote and electoral vote, and he still became president!
How long have you been dead?
Wouldn't you like to know.

 

by Screendummie
4-17-05
Nothing makes a better statement than making a comic solely on your username.
Its like a whole different persona!
But more annoying than the one you expose everyone in person to at home and work.
We're no longer going to pass judgement on that anymore.
We're going to laugh at your new username persona.
Because we love you!

 

by Screendummie
4-18-05
Sometimes you have to do that controversial, yet funny comic about racism.
Like when the white guy says something that appears racist to the black guy.
All in the obvious misunderstanding that the white guy bases his knowledge of black culture from rappers and BET.
Like when the cracker makes a kool-aid reference, and sadly gets beaten up by the negro.
Didn't that joke go out of the style since the 60's?
But retro and joke recycling is what its all aboot!

 

by Screendummie
4-19-05
At times as these, its necessary for everyone to do innane, repetative jokes about religion.
Don't be left out! Join the bandwagon!
Just make sure you target it only to Christianity. You must avoid at all costs anything about Muslims and other pagans.
Yeah, anything other than Christianity is racist and insensitive.
Racist? How is religion considered a race?
Meh! Semantics.

 

by Screendummie
4-19-05
At times, when you feel you're not getting enough attention.
And you have that lack of Ritalin in your system.
Just flood everyone out!
Brilliant! Just make a dozen or so comics in every minute to gain full viewship of all.
It doesn't matter how bland or retarded they may be.
Because its all about your dumbass being an attention whore.

 

by Screendummie
4-19-05
Sometimes, you just have to get the knee pads out to be accepted.
All the long and short time paying users will be whipping it out.
Its always good to watch porno to learn some excellent hummer techniques.
Be sure to always swallow, unless they prefer you to spit.
And if you go blind, then its the price you pay for the stars.
Its all about the stars, buddy!

 

by Screendummie
4-20-05
Once it appears being a whore is enough to allowed within the ranks.
Be perpared never to ever disagree within the ranks.
Always love the samething!
Always hate the samething!
Be sure your humor is exactly the same as others.
Because being an individual is to cliché.

 

by Screendummie
4-21-05
You can try out my latest line of "Knock Out" products.
Just try my "Knock Out Diet System"! Its guaranteed to loose you pounds in thirty days!
The secret behind my patent system is simple. When you go to the fridge for a snack, I knock you out!
That virile, chocolante hunk pounding me! Give me the number!

 

by Screendummie
4-21-05
I think my "milkshake" could bring all the boys to the yard.
What the hell is a "milkshake" anyway?
I think it...ummm...I don't know. It was that one stupid song.
Then why in the hell did you say that?
Because my "milkshake" does bring them all to the yard!
Damn right its better than yours.

 

by Screendummie
4-22-05
I just bought this sweet t-shirt today!
What the hell is it?
Well, its red, loose fitting and has his image on it!
Ga?
I got this kick ass tax cut when I bought it too!
REAGANOMICS!

 

by Screendummie
4-22-05
Gummie bears!
What aboot them?
I wuv them!
Buy the 5 pound bag.
There's a way to kill myself faster? Sweet!
Breaking news, you're dead already!

 

by Screendummie
4-23-05
Did you hear Larry Loins press conference last month? Or was it the month before?
What was Loins saying?
He was saying that "steriods don't help you in baseball, they don't help your eye-hand coordination".
Yeah, I heard that stupid shit.
It certainly doesn't help your intelligence.

 

by Screendummie
4-24-05
I love Earth Day!
Me too!
I enjoyed cleaning up everyone's Earth Day garbage this weekend!
Nothing like going to a park and dumping your garbage to celebrate!
Let us not forget the millions of you that decided to drive your car to your Earth Day event.
Nothing like the smell of smog in the morning!

 

by Screendummie
4-24-05
If I gave you five bucks...would you shave your ass?
Yeah. Not like I have a hairy ass anyway.
Um...not from a couple point of views I've seen.
Umm, well you must be re-re-re-re-retarded. Cause I don't
Am not!
Sure.

 

by Screendummie
4-24-05
I listen to Blondie, does it make me a fag?
Yes, yes it does.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna turn on my Michael Bolton albums.
Woohoo!
SAUSAGE FEST!

 

by Screendummie
4-24-05
Hey, did I tell you aboot the comic my friend is making?
What komic?
He's drawing his own comic for the interweb.
He'll be like the rest of the whores on the web?
Anyway, the characters in his comic are gonna be people in his life.
Like what everyone else does?

 

by Screendummie
4-24-05
Meaning he's gonna have me in it! *Glee* And I'm gonna be a Communist.
Can I be the arch-conservative capitalist yankee dog?
And what do you mean like everyone else? Most comics are about fictional characters. Anyway, he was trying to put Che on my shirt I never wear.
Based on experiences.
He couldn't find a decent picture, so he's gonna put that scythe thing on it instead. Experience?
Yeah...what ever experiences an asshole can have.

 

by Screendummie
4-24-05
Dude, I didn't say based on his experiences, I simply said he's putting people he knows in the comic.
Learn to read my lips!
Yeah, the experiences of the people he knows.
Der!

 

by Screendummie
4-24-05
No, he's gonna make up the stuff that's in his comics.
He was just too lazy to think of new characters, so he used people he knows
Der, der, der, der!
Now I need to grope your doggie! Der!

 

by Screendummie
4-26-05
You know, I always wanted grandchildren.
I don't think that would've been possible.
We could've fed ducks, or gone fishing or saw a baseball game.
Yeah, you keep dreamin' there.
Ah...who am I kidding. Children are little, dirty, deseased ridden monsters.

 

by Screendummie
4-26-05
In her toughest role ever! Made to hold her sister's hand as she rides the bus.
She struggles daily with the choir of keeping breakfast in her bowels. And yet she faces a challenge even greater than herself.
Hot damn!
Rosia O'Donnell in "My Sister Pukes When She Rides the Bus with Me."
Rosie as a mongoloid! Hot damn!

 

by Screendummie
4-27-05
Bout it bout it, foo!
You know, I heard the Village People use "bout it bout it".
Why do you have to go ruin something for me?
Why, are you insecure?
Yes..er no! Christ, I hate you!
Guess you're not a real "Macho Man."

 

by Screendummie
4-28-05
Learned anything in school today?
Yes...
Buwahahahaha!
Thats a funny funny joke, dad.

 

by Screendummie
4-29-05
If you were rendered gay, what guy would you like?
Me.
That's not being gay. That's just self-love.
Oh. Me?
Yeah. God you're stupid.
Yay!

 

by Screendummie
5-01-05
My report on my career choice is "hippie rancher".
I know that this field of work yet exists, but I hope to make it a thriving industry that thousands of American workers will depend on.
The hippies that I'll raise will be mostly be "free range hippies".

 

by Screendummie
5-01-05
I don't think any of this makes sense.
Yeah it does. I'll breed a whole race of hippies on my ranch.
Isn't that illegal?
Na...because they'll be smokin' pot and having thier little pinko communes to leave. They'd never go to the "pig" authorities they say they hate.
Won't some escape?
That's what the little tracking device is implanted. Their heads will pop like melons like in the "Running Man" if they escape.

 

by Screendummie
5-01-05
But why would you do this?
Because it essentially will lead to me releasing my hippies into the environment. With "brain wipe" first before they go, of course.
"Brain wipe"?
Once freed, they'll be protesting every government body in the US, because hippies don't believe in working. The government will hire people like me to drive bulldozers to plow through them.
And this will stimulate the economy in your bizzare scheme?
Shit yeah! Imagine all the DEA and FBI agents being employed. And all those guys selling hippies dime bags. And the twinkie manufactures selling to starving hippies!

 

by Screendummie
5-01-05
Somehow I find this all unconstitutional. You yanks think you can do whatever you want.
You damn limeys aren't any better.
What makes you say that?
British 1910 Official Secrets Act.
Did you really have to make the foreign exchange teacher cry?
Limey bastard had it commin'. Let him cry a river in his piss warm lager.

 

by Screendummie
5-02-05
I'm gonna do stand up again!
JOY!
You're full of emotion at my anouncement.
I was hoping that was only a joke.
I wasn't joking.
What a coincidence! I wasn't either!

 

by Screendummie
5-03-05
So I like met this cow while I was waiting for my transfer at the bus station.
He was fuming how his bus to Texarkana was late.
He was certainly one mad cow!

 

by Screendummie
5-04-05
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop clop clop?
An amish drive-by shooting!

Showing page 4.

« Previous Next »