All comics by count_libido

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by count_libido
4-01-06
It's late at night on the SFX Forum
Lol! I like Billie Piper too. Teh Sexxr!
Hey! Who are you? How did you get in here?
I am Dracula, Lord of Vampires! Prepare to meet your fate!
2 hours later...
OMG! He's still here! The suxxor. Wan2 play the movie chain game?
Um, can you prepare to meet your fate a little faster? I don't have all night! Damn forum junkies!

 

by count_libido
4-02-06
A hot debate is raging on the SFX Forum...
Was too! Was too! Was too! Was too! Was too! Was too!
was not!was not!was not! was not! was not! was not!
Was too!.... Uh, wait...what were we arguing about?
Whether Christopher Eccleston was a better Dr. Who than Tom Baker, like for 2 hours! Shouldn't we find something better to talk about?
Another 2 hours later...
Forum-ite! Forum-ite! Forum-ite!Forum-ite!
Forum-er! Forum-er! Forum-er! Forum-er!

 

by count_libido
4-03-06
SFX HQ....
Ian, some of these posts are really getting off topic.
Delete 10,000 posts! Lock all threads!
Ok, it's done.
Ha ha ha! Another victory for The Federation!
Don't you mean the 'moderation'?
I find your lack of faith disturbing...

 

by count_libido
4-04-06
How to recognise an SFX Forum member.
...so that's my problem. What do you advise?
Quack! Flap! Wibble! Oo-er Mister Fertang! Buns! Ooh, I could crush a grape! Zippedydoo da! Wahey! Quack quack Quake!
B-but that's just random as.... Oh.

 

by count_libido
4-04-06
An SFX reader has a complaint...
Dear SFX, I am a big fan of Hyperdrive. Why don't you feature that on the cover more often? Please explain this drastic oversight!
Meanwhile at SFX HQ....
Ian, someone wants to see Hyperdrive featured on the cover of the next issue!
Quick! Dispatch War Rocket Ajax!
One War Rocket Ajax dispatch later....
*You...need...to...get...a...life*
It's a bit bloody late for that now!

 

by count_libido
4-05-06
Hi Ob! What's up?
I'm wondering if I should accept a new job...
What's the job?
I've been asked to become a forum moderator. What should I do?
Give yourself to the Dark Side...
"Darth Forum"? I like the sound of that!

 

by count_libido
4-07-06
SFX HQ...
Hi Nick, what's new?
Well, after Shatner and Spiner released CDs, Jonathan Frakes is doing an album covering Kaiser Chiefs songs.
Really, what's it called?
'I Predict a Riker'

 

by count_libido
4-07-06
The SFX Newsroom
This just in: Brannon Braga has hired Russell T Davies to give the ailing Star Trek franchise a modern gritty feel.
In this Trek spin-off, Jonathan Frakes stars as a retired Star Fleet officer who decides to open a youth club in Newcastle.
The program is expected to be called "Riker Grove."

 

by count_libido
4-07-06
The end is nigh...
Ob! Look at the 3 Panel Story Thread!
They've given up on cartoons and are making mini-movies!
I suddenly feel so one-dimensional...

 

by count_libido
4-10-06
Say baby, you remind me of my favourite Scream Queen...
Oh really. Which one?
Ingrid Pitt!
Well, you remind me of another famous Pitt.
Brad?
No. Sarlacc.

 

by count_libido
4-10-06
Moderation... Anime Style!
Ho! What is this?
Ha ha ha! I am taking this forum off-topic! Watch this irrelevant comment!
Super-moderation hyper kick go! SMITE!
Aie! The full force of forum moderation chastisement fury!
All your threads are belong to us!
I am ashamed.

 

by count_libido
4-11-06
Great Moments in Fantasy Literature.
Today's fantasy moment is...The Call of Cthulu!
Hullo Mrs. Bradley. Is your Dave coming out?
Sorry Cthulu, he's busy editing his magazine. Maybe you should call again later.
*&%^$!!

 

by count_libido
4-12-06
Great forgotten moments from Stars Wars.
I sense a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced...
Sorry Ben, that would be the Bantha Vindaloo I had last night!
Ack! Hack! You dirty bugger!
May The Fart be with you!

 

by count_libido
4-12-06
There's trouble in the SFX reviews department...
Ew! What a mess!
Nick, I was about to review the DVDs, but they're covered in Chocolate. Why are they covered in chocolate?
I think the easter eggs melted!

 

by count_libido
4-12-06
Hello. I am Dr. Manhattan...
...and I am Rorschach. We bring you news about the Watchmen movie.
We have been hired by our creator, Alan Moore to kill off any Hollywood hack who tries to bring a Moore film to the big screen.
Coz, did you see League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? Nothing sucks more than that!
Well, when they sent me into Viet Nam, there was this bar girl who...
Shut up, man! You're ruining the moment!

 

by count_libido
4-12-06
The Adventures of Nick Setchfield, Features Editor!
So, you have a script for me?
Yes, it's a story about the early years of Ian Berriman
Really?
Yes, it stars Ian as a streetwise mage investigating magical matters in a well-known north eastern city.
What's it called?
"Hullblazer."

 

by count_libido
4-19-06
Stargate SG-1...
So you're saying that the lost stargate is in that Egyptian tomb?
Yes, it is the tomb of the Egyptian ruler who first brought chocolate to our people.
Really? What was his name?
Pharoah Rocher!

 

by count_libido
4-21-06
The basement lab of Mr. Lavigne's House...
At last! My robot slave is complete!
It will be my perfect companion! All I need to do is imprint it with my memories and the brain waves I stole from Emma Watson!
******INPUT******
My Watsonomatic is ready! Hello Emmabot, I am Mr. Lavigne. What do you have to say?
...get...me...a...restraining...order!

 

by count_libido
4-21-06
Emma Watson is doing an in-store signing...
Emma Watson! Wow! I'm your biggest fan! I'm Mr. Lavigne!
So, if you're my biggest fan, why aren't you called Mr. Hermione?
Er, never mind that! I love you! I want to be with you! I wish I was someone you could looo-uurve!
Well, let's see what I can do about that, shall I? I'll wave my magic wand and say the magic words....Cillit Bang!
One magic *poof* later...
This wasn't quite what I had in mind...
Actually I prefer you this way.

 

by count_libido
4-22-06
The Kudos / Gordy News Network.
We interrupt this cartoon to bring you some awful puns.
Hello. I am Robot A. Heinlein.
Hello. I am JK Growling.
Hello. I am StepHEN King.
Hello. I am M. Knight Shyamalan.

 

by count_libido
4-22-06
An Important Message from Mr. Spock.
Hello, I am Spock. As a popular sci-fi character and a consumer, I am looking for a form of credit that reflects my interests in spending and fantasy literature
That's why I carry the Orson Scott Card.

 

by count_libido
4-22-06
Gandalf's New Job
Gandalf! Where the hell have you been? You're 2 hours late!
Well, the Rivendell bypass was closed so I had to take the diversion through the Mines of Moria.
I stopped for a Ginster's at Gimli Services where I was set upon by a group of flaming horned demons with whips.
Balrogs!
No, it's true!

 

by count_libido
4-22-06
Leah, I'm a bit worried about encouraging people on the forum.
Instead of posting links about cats, they've started posting cats straight to the office. Here's one now!
Can't they just send sweets?
I found this one in a tree. What should I do with it?
Put him in the my desk drawer with the others.

 

by count_libido
4-22-06
Leah, I'm a bit worried about encouraging people on the forum.
Instead of posting links about cats, they've started posting cats straight to the office. Here's one now!
Can't they just send sweets?
I found this one in a tree. What should I do with it?
Put him in the my desk drawer with the others.

 

by count_libido
4-22-06
The TV Room in Isengard
Heh! Heh! Heh!
Oh Shazbot!
Have at you Orcish scum! What e'er foul deeds you may have planned shall avail you nought!
Not now Gandalf, I'm watching telly.
What's on?
"Ork & Mindy"

 

by count_libido
4-24-06
Morning Brian!
Morning Alf. Are you stuck on that crossword?
Yes I am. What's a four letter word for a port city in northwestern Belgium and industrial center; famous for cloth industry?
Would that be Gand, Alf?
Did you call me?
No, go away.

 

by count_libido
4-24-06
Gandalf gets it wrong again...
Hello Brian!
Hello Alf! Are you going to that fancy dress party too?
Yes I'm going as a Viking, Brian!
Well I'm going as a brigand, Alf!
Did I hear my name?
Look, I've told you once...

 

by count_libido
4-24-06
Gandalf meets a fanboy...
Uh Gandalf, why didn't you just fly that ring to Mount Doom on that giant eagle instead of making those hobbits walk all the way to Mordor? You dumb ass!
Cillit Bang!
Yop!
I know you are, but what am I?

 

by count_libido
4-25-06
Captain Marvel abuses his powers...
Ah ha! Here come some hot chicks. Now's my chance to impress them...
SHAZAM!
Hi birds! Is that a signal device in my utility belt or am I just pleased to see you?
Do you know that guy?
Just keep walking...
Remember kids! Super powers aren't just good for fighting evil. The ladies love them too!

 

by count_libido
4-26-06
How a wizard gets his name...
Hurry up Gandalf, it's your move!
Uh, remind me again: I move black, right?
Gandalf! The white!
Hmm...catchy!

 

by count_libido
4-26-06
How it came to be...
If the new Battlestar Galactica is to succeed, we need to sex up the show as much as we can.
Dead right! Now lets go audition the new cylons!
Next!_________________Next!
By....your....command
Uh, buy my command?
Next!
Tobor.....smush!
You mean I'm hired?

 

by count_libido
4-27-06
What do you call a wizard who's really, really dull? Blandalf!
It's morphin' time!
I asked for that...

 

by count_libido
4-27-06
The Adventures of Slash Gordon.
Slash! The Hordes of Mongo are invading the Earth and only you can stop them!
I will! But first I need to go for a Slash...
***

 

by count_libido
4-27-06
The Adventures of Splat Baxter - Crap Space Hero!
Splat! The Martians are invading! Can't you do something?
Ok, let me have a word with them diplomatically.
Boy you green guys look like giant snotballs!

 

by count_libido
4-28-06
Hello, I am Good and this is Evil. Today we shall be taking you for a trip throigh sci-fi Heaven...
...and sci-fi Hell!
Sci-Fi Heaven...
Today we shall be showing an Buffy marathon including the unbroadcast all-nude episode whilst a freshly laundered Sarah Michelle Gellar whispers commentary straight into your ear and feeds you choccy.
Sci-Fi Hell...
Today in Sci-Fi Hell you will oil-wrestle with Dr. Phlox and then you'll see the Jar-Jar Binks comedy hour before Anakin Skywalker gives you his three hour lecture on why Obi-Wan is holding him back!

 

by count_libido
4-28-06
Hi, I'm a witch.
Hi, I'm Kudos!
Really? We have a lot in common.
Do we? Like what?
Aah!
Aah!

 

by count_libido
4-30-06
It sure is cold in here...
Sure is. Let's throw some more wood on the Kudos.
Good idea!
I heard that!

 

by count_libido
4-30-06
Uh, where am I dude?
You are in the realm of the dead.
Bummer. So what happens now?
I shall take you to the land of the dead in my boat. I am the Ferryman
Hey, did you know that your name sounds like Ian B....
Yes, I get that all the time...

 

by count_libido
5-03-06
Transylvania...
Greee-tings!
Greee-tings!
Vat der hell are you?
I'm a hampire!

 

by count_libido
5-04-06
Famous Hollywood Script Errors...
No, I'm sure it says 'Cylons'!
Okay dude, I'll go get the robot...
Baaaa!
By...your...command.
Oh wait! It's 'Silence' of the Lambs!
I'll go give the robot the bad news...

 

by count_libido
5-04-06
"Misplaced..."
Look! A big crate full of beer has washed up on the island!
Thank God! I've been drinking nothing but coconut milk for 48 days!
Cheers!
Down the hatch!
Excuse me, but did you say something about 'down the hatch'?
Knock it off, John..!

 

by count_libido
5-04-06
Misplaced
Ok, we need to decide who takes the last place on the raft. How about a game of darts to decide?
Right. Nearest to the bull wins.
Meow!
Moo!
You win...

 

by count_libido
5-04-06
True..?
Ew! Look at that guy over there reading about SEX!
Perv!
Actually, it's not SEX, it's SFX. It's a magazine about science fiction and not about doing rudies.
Ew! Look at that guy over there reading about Science Fiction!
Geek!
You can't win...

 

by count_libido
5-05-06
Misplaced...
I was just in the jungle and I saw a polar bear!
A polar bear? In the jungle? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?
I guess. Maybe it's just the heat and the island getting to me.
Yeah, you're probably hallucinating or something.
Hah! Hallucinating! I can't believe she fell for that one!
Yeah, me neither!

 

by count_libido
5-05-06
Aaaahh!
You'll never guess what just happenned to me! I was on MSN when suddenly a hand reached out of my PC and started rubbing my boy bits!
Yeah, you went into MSN Instant Massaging. You gotta watch those typos, dude.

 

by count_libido
5-05-06
How Kudos got his groove back...
Say, what are you listening to?
'Killing in the Name' by Rage Against the Machine.
Sounds cool. Can I have a listen?
Yeah. I'm listening to the chorus: "Burn! Burn! Yes you're gonna burn! Burn! Burn! Yes you're gonna burn!"
Yaah!
I knew he'd take that too literally...

 

by count_libido
5-05-06
Great Fantasy Moments in Rock
Kurt Cobain converts to Islam
"And I forget just what it takes And yet I guess it makes me smile. I found it hard, it's hard to find, Oh well, whatever, nevermind...
Halal, halal, Halal, halal, Halal, halal, Halal, halal, Halal, halal, halal, halal...."
Wow! His music really speaks to me now!

 

by count_libido
5-08-06
Design Meetings for the new Battlestar Galactica...
Hhmmm...
Back at the SFX Workshop...
Well, the new designs are pretty good. Just one thing: Why are all space robots silver? Can't we paint these ones shiney gold?
What for?
So we can say that all other robots is silver, but as the old saying goes..."Cylons is golden!"
I must kill you now.

 

by count_libido
5-08-06
Kudos meets Dangermouse
So, are you the real Dangermouse?
Actually no. They just call me that because I like to play with flamethrowers.
Come off it! You don't have a flamethrower!
Oh yeah? I'll prove it!
Me and my big mouth...
Told you...

 

by count_libido
5-08-06
On today's "Fantasy Guide to Talking Posh", we will be illustrating how to pronouce 'Oxford' using the correct elocution.
Mongo, if you would care to do the honours..?
Hnnnh! Me make smell!
paarrrp!
That's right. To pronounce 'Oxford' correctly, it should be enunciated as 'Orc's fart'.
...and don't forget to open a window afterwards.

Showing page 4.

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