All comics by kola

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by kola
10-25-11
You know, Sam West is retirin' the end of the year.
That so? Good man, that Sam West.
Good man indeed. And his family?
God that family is incredible.
His daughter is over 18.

 

by kola
10-25-11
We Pledge Alimony
Donations are appreciated.
Flag lines are open.
From Texas to America, men and women alike are giving to our channel.
Child support. Family's expensive.
Pay for your TVs, you pissed up slappers.

 

by kola
10-25-11
Well look! I've got a kid. And you've only got a kitten.
Hello, Miranda.
Peter. So, how did life with Style Steve treat you?
Style and I are still talking. It's just over the internet now. We're taking time.
The internet is great. I can catch up with all my friends!
I agree. I am FOR the internet! Hahahahaha!

 

by kola
10-26-11
Got any change?
No! You stay away from my power case, homeless!
I need to make a phone call. Please!
Will you watch me pleasure myself for it?

 

by kola
10-26-11
Need you to help me pull a file, Sanderson.
Yeah? Well I've been moved up to the executive office. You'll want to talk to Miles.
This is a special kind of file. It's actually a file ON Miles.
Well, I could talk to Blackwell. Listen, I've really got to get to a meeting.
Sorry, Sanderson. You've been "fired".
AAAAArrrrrrrgggggg

 

by kola
10-26-11
Well hello, Pam!
Mr. Hall. Doing some filing? I think filing is so sexy.
Um...well, Pam, it's time to get back to work.
Let's take care of things now. Rub your hard abdomen against me.
I am a married man, Pam.
I'm gonna get that sweet ass.

 

by kola
10-26-11
hey, squirrel.
do you have 40 pesos, senor?

 

by kola
10-26-11
THE SCIENCE... OF MADNESS
It's definitely a prickly pear!
GOD I HAVE ELEVATED... ABOVE MY OWN BODY
Yessir, you are inside the worldwide web world. I'll show you around.
if only he knew i actually just got my head stuck in the worldwide web world...
If only he knew this was actually Hell and Demons will make steaks of him

 

by kola
10-26-11
Alright, Clonis. We'll see how you do today with a couple of interviews.
So... I don't know, I've basically gone over my resume... is there anything you'd like to ask me?
give me your box of papers!

 

by kola
10-26-11
Alright! How's everybody doing tonight? Ok... how about that Grand Canyon. Am I right?
My Uncle fell in there, couldn't stop griping about it the whole way down!
He did die from it.

 

by kola
11-01-11
I'll admit if I'm the aggressor in this conversation. But are you a participant?
I'll talk with you, but I am not going to dance with you. I'm sorry.
Well, if it happens, it happens.
But it won't happen.

 

1
by kola
11-01-11
Well... I've had the time of my life.
I've never felt this way before.
I swear... it's so true

 

by kola
11-01-11
Ladies and Gentlemen, My balls!
Tennis balls.
Is anyone out there?

 

by kola
11-01-11
The mood is ri-yee-iiiight to raise the dead ta-niy-eet!
Can you raise my brother back to life?
Oh-hoo-hoo-a-Hoo-Yea-ee-yeah
Please! Stop playing for just a moment!
A-eeeee-wa-e-waaa
What mistakes could I have made for my road to lead to you?

 

by kola
11-04-11
I wanted to take you aside and discuss your work wardrobe.
Is there a-a-a- problem?
Well, frankly, it's one particular thing. The necklace should go. It's drawing attention away from your chest.
But I got this at-at-at AA!
You're in AA? Do they take Satanists?

 

by kola
11-11-11
Did you get that ridiculous memo from Richter?
Pffft. Yeah! Come in early on Tuesday? Yeah, right.
Wait... that is not the memo I received.
What memo did you receive?
Mine was a box with a gun and a clip of bullets in it with a note that said USE THIS.
Oh, that's right! Richter did want you to kill yourself.

 

by kola
11-11-11
Man, all this fuss over 11-11-11!
This conversation is topical!
Speaking of which, did you still need to keep borrowing my topical cream?
Oh no... I sacrificed it to the Holy Lord Pan for survival on this fateful day!
Um, the zombies ate it I think.

 

by kola
11-11-11
So this is the true apocalypse?
No, as I said before, I am coming to take you into the arms of eternity. Everyone else is fine.
How is my neighbor Chet?
Well, he's fine for now.
Give ya twenty five bucks to give him a real scare!
Well... I AM saving up for a motor scooter.

 

by kola
11-13-11
I'm sorry about your friend. The body is mutilated, so be forewarned.
I can take it, Mr. Crell.
We appreciate you identifying the body.
Well I done killt him, didn't I?

 

by kola
11-13-11
Did I die to get here?
There is no more death, no more pain. No more being yanked out of the ocean by fishermen!
Well... is this the right room?
Fish Heaven.
Which elevator did you get on?

 

by kola
11-13-11
I'm telling you, brother! Jane is inside and she made brownies.
But... isn't Jane in a coma?
Wassup, dog?
What?
Dude, the brownies are delicious. Jane made them!
Wait just a minute. Are you my big brother? Because My big brother wouldn't lie about Jane.

 

by kola
11-13-11
Well, hello new neighbor!
Thanks! Any fine chicks in this condo?
Oh, there are a few pretty biddies! Tee hee!
Great!
What about strong Irishmen?

 

by kola
11-13-11
I... I came from outside. We were wondering if you could let us in?
Let in... the Undead? You must be joking!
Well, the others are very upset!
You seem fairly well adjusted.
I take medication for it.
You Undead Bitch, you stole my Hydrocodone!

 

by kola
11-13-11
By Lucifer's Beard, I will get you turned back into the proper form, Lieutenant!
Shaz! This isn't the correct form either!
Ah! I've got the dial set to Auto-Christmas!

 

by kola
11-13-11
Pimp Kerny! Pleasure to Make Your Acquaintance!
Mos Def.
Are you aware I am here to PUNISH you?
Wha? Is this about that ho Tracey? Cause she done fell on that knife!
Oh! My mistake. I could have sworn I SAW YOU DO IT !hahahahaha!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

 

by kola
11-13-11
Hello, Cleveland! You guys ready for some impressions?
Sir! Could you get the people in that office building to come out here?

 

by kola
11-13-11
This was your stupidest dare. We are going to get kicked out!
Well it's your fault that we don't have any pants on.
No, it's Gary's fault we don't have any pants on.
Gary...whatever happened that mysterious night?
What? The night you murdered him?
So mysterious... the town may never know what happened! I'm not even sure I do.

 

by kola
12-02-11
Lionel said to meet him at this lobby?
Well, he didn't say "at" this lobby. He said "in" this lobby.
But why here?
Man, will you just relax?
I have to go. I have to go right now. Really bad, Rick!
You can't go to the bathroom right now. Just hold it, dickweed.

 

by kola
12-03-11
Afternoon, friend! Name's Arnie. What's in the suitcase? Got my soul in there? Whoa, gotta go!
Have you seen Arnie?

 

by kola
12-20-11
A Pope and a Priest and a Rabbi go to a bar. The Pope orders a Ginger Ale, the Priest a Malt Liquor, and the Rabbi a Chardonnay.
Guess we're all not so different after all!
I wish I was different.

 

by kola
12-27-11
Hi! My name is Lisa. Are you here about the receptionist job?
Oh, yes. And my name is Brenda.
It's nice to meet you. I recently started setting up job interviews just to turn them down.
Why... why did you start doing that?
Because of this! BITCH

 

by kola
2-25-12
yeeeeah we'll be rockin til the sun goes down ooooh yeeeeeahhh helll naaaaaa
awesome rock, dude!
THANK YOU DETROIT!
Actually my name is Lopez.

 

by kola
2-28-12
If you can justify 'Dances With Wolves' , 'Waterworld', and 'The Postman', you shall die a painless death.
Well I was in JFK-
Enough!

 

by kola
3-15-12
Thanks for giving me the ability to breathe underwater!
You are welcome, earth boy.
Can I offer you some coffee?
I don't think so. But there's something else you can do for me.
Sure! Anything!
Let me remove my speedo and summon my sister.

 

by kola
3-15-12
Geold, you are doing a great job. But there have been some complaints about your beard.
Really, sir? But I was born with this beard. I can't well shave it off now! I'm 55 years old!
You look older than that.

 

by kola
3-28-12
yo you think you can keep that cat from making so much noise?
well, i didn't think my kitty was being too loud, but i sure can try, neighbor!
i'm donald by the way. donald haus.
i'm bertram. it's nice to meet you!
i didn't say anything about that.

 

by kola
6-30-12
Look, Abe. You tell Frankie I want to see him about my money. Right Now.
Alright, Alright!
Frankie says to relax.

 

by kola
6-30-12
Legions of followers. I had them, Derek. It was a golden age.
That's very interesting, Mike. Now, this is where you will work the majority of the time. Let me show you the supply closet.
Scrubbin' toilets. Life sure is strange, ain't it, Derek? I was on top of the world.
Well, things will get better. Now with the linoleum, you want to scrub really hard but not so hard as to take off the finish.
So...let me direct you to the cleaning supplies.

 

by kola
6-30-12
So you say the man got out of the car and ran after the accident?
That's right, officer.
Did the man appear hurt? Did he have a limp or any visible bleeding?
Well, he was missing his head.

 

by kola
11-17-12
Highway 1823 was blocked from 7am to 8am
That blocked Tran Nyguen from an important meeting, causing him to change lanes recklessly and speed through
And that's how you died, Kevin. This is what happens after you die.

 

by kola
11-17-12
Highway 1823 was blocked from 7am to 8am
That blocked Tran Nyguen from an important meeting, causing him to change lanes recklessly and speed through
And that's how you died, Kevin. This is what happens after you die.

 

by kola
12-07-12
Sigh...Hello, Mr. Billows.
Sammy! Just the man I wanted to see. Look, I just wanted to check in.
I know Mr. Billows. Just like yesterday, and every day before ever since I started here.
...and?
No, my wife is not dead. And furthermore, I am not interested in your brother!
But he's got a yacht!

 

by kola
12-17-12
So you're sayin', like, there ain't no heaven or hell?
Never said that. I said we can't never know 'til we're dead
But how we gonna know anythin' then?!
You always outmatch me, Garrett

 

by kola
12-27-12
I wanna Wii
Why don't you go wee then?
I wanna Wii
Why don't you go wee then?
I wanna Wii
Why don't you go wee then?

 

by kola
3-21-13
I'm Chris! Welcome to Insomnia Video Game Culture!
Thank you. My son, much of this merchandise is sinful. I'm sorry but you must repent!
We have tournaments and hot dogs and shit like that.

 

by kola
7-20-20
Hey
Hey! Helloooooooooooooo! Hey!
What?!
Are you still watching Netflix?

 

by kola
7-28-20
Hi! I’m Abe.
Hi, Abe. I’m Joe. I’m new here- where is accounting?
There is no accounting for those crazy number crunchers!
Ha, ha. Uh, hm.

 

by kola
7-31-20
Im sorry about the layoff, Meyer. My hands are tied.
An hour of arguing later...
I wanna see the CEO. Right now.
Its not a good idea. Trust me on this.
Well I’m glad we could work something out, Satan.
Well, you caught me on a good day. Make sure to use plenty of antiseptics. See you Monday sharp.

 

by kola
7-31-20
Gilroy! Oh thank God! I thought I’d be trapped alone in this infinite dimension!
Nice try, Melvin. Mr. Hacknyl needed that status report nine weeks ago. Im afraid we are pulling funding.
Is there a bathroom in here?

 

by kola
8-03-20
OK, sir. Do you know why I am writing you this citation?
On this sweet island? More like a celebration than a citation!
Calm down, sir. You're hallucinating from dehydration.
More like fun-hydration!
According to state mandate you shouldn't be having this much fun in your state. In fact, I'm sorry to say that you've passed away.
AAAAAaaaaghhhhh noooooooooo!!!

Showing page 4.

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