All comics by little_kitty

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by little_kitty
5-21-04
Staples
Did you find everything you were looking for?
For the last time, NO!
JYSK
Can I help you find anything?
Yes. Where do you keep your barf buckets?
February 2005 and my stress level combined.

 

by little_kitty
5-23-04
Is that all for you today?
We're not gonna take it! No, we ain't gonna take it!
We're not gonna take it anymorrrrrree.
Why not?
I honestly don't know, but it kind of smells like bad.

 

by little_kitty
5-23-04
kitty pre-coffee
kitty during coffee
kitty post coffee.
Don't ask.
Wasn't going to.

 

by little_kitty
5-24-04
Thursday Night
Man, I wish Hanson would come back.
Me too. Ever since B4-4 disappeared, we've had no band to make fun of.
What about the Moffats? Or Kylie Minogue?
Nah. Hanson was the best one to make fun of.
Friday Night
And in other news, Hanson will be coming back with a new record sometime this year.
Jesus shit!

 

by little_kitty
5-25-04
I've been here for one year AND I made 200 comics...
Yesterday because I don't know how to count. YAY NO SCHOOL!

 

by little_kitty
8-29-04
one part hair dye product name +
Use Clairol Nice and Easy!
one part feminine de-smellifying product slogan =
Soft & Dri deoderant makes the smells COMPLETELY go away... with an additive of cancer!
Strong and beautiful... just like you!
Something that was totally funnier in my head.
Here you go, honey... Nice and Easy, just like you!

 

by little_kitty
9-12-04
Hey, you alright in there?
Yeah, I'm fine. I just can't get off the floor.
If I come out slithering like a snake can you promise not to laugh at me?
Hahahahahahahahaha.
I told you! I can't get off the floor.

 

by little_kitty
9-13-04
Last night I had the strangest dream
I sailed away to China, on a little row boat to find ya
And you said you had to get your laundry cleaned
What the hell kind of lame excuse is that?

 

by little_kitty
9-13-04
She packed my bags last night pre-flight, Zero hour nine a.m.
Have fun honey!
You know that I might die, right?
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then
Whoaaaaa... space weed.
Totally.
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
The only thing I miss is the sex.
I said I wanted to see the world, and they stuck me on a space shuttle with a bunch of horny 40 year olds.

 

by little_kitty
9-13-04
Blame it all on my roots I showed up in boots and ruined your black tie affair.
*hic* S-sorry. *hic*
The last one to know, the last one to show, I was the last one you thought you'd see there.
I live 5000 miles from you. How the hell did you get here?
I saw the surprise and the fear in his eyes when I took his glass of champagne
Who the hell drinks champagne anyway?

 

by little_kitty
9-13-04
We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Let's leave them.
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
You'd ditch your friends to dance?
Well they're no friends of mine
What can I say, I'm an asshole.

 

by little_kitty
9-13-04
Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead.
Whoops.
Mama, life had just begun and now I've gone and thrown it all away.
I... I said I was sorry!
You are so grounded when you get out...
Mama, ooo Didn't mean to make you cry
Bullshit

 

by little_kitty
10-07-04
unh unh unh unh
does he think...
unh unh unh unh
Uh, whatcha aiming for?
I'm in, aren't I?
Uh, no. Close though!

 

by little_kitty
11-02-04
Damn I've got gas... I wonder if... *pfffft*... WHOOO. I'll blame that one on the human
*sniff sniff*
Uh oh...
OH GOD! What the hell smells like rotting bowels in here?!
Oh, as if yours smell like fucking roses.

 

by little_kitty
11-15-04
It appears that you are having Cyber Sexx0rz. Do you need help to proceed?
If you clicked yes, there are many supplements at your disposal. If you clicked no, you're a bloody liar.
Supplements at your disposal: a) Viagra and its offsets b) Microsoft's book on Proper Cyber Sexx0rz. Includes a personal message from Bill Gates himself c) a coupon for lotion and Kleenex
You have chosen Viagra and its offsets... May I watch?
AAAAAAGH!!

 

by little_kitty
11-28-04
11:15
So... you don't have these?
No, sir. Not the ones released by that recording label. Have a good day!
11:20
I'm just wondering if you have these Judas Priest CD's from this recording label.
Let me check... No, sir. Not the ones released by that recording studio. Have a good day!
Some guys just don't take no for an answer.
Some guy just wanted CD's by a certain recording studio... What the hell?
AARGH! I just talked to that douche!

 

by little_kitty
11-28-04
One of my managers at HMV
We've just coined the laziest and most retarded dance ever... the Fat Joe dance.
How does that one go?
is this skinny, pasty white boy.
Lean back... lean back...
Aww, but come on.
Funniest guy I've ever met.
He weighs, like, 500 pounds. What else is he supposed to do?
If he tried doing those spins like Beyonce, I think he'd set the earth on a new rotation cycle.

 

by little_kitty
11-28-04
I have the absolute stupidest thought running through my head. Wanna hear it?
Sure. Stupid thoughts make the world run.
I bet Fat Joe could get California to separate from the USA. Like, actually separate.
How could he do that?
By doing the running man on the border between Cali and the rest of the states.
Yeah, but unless he stepped back into Nevada while doing so, the whole state would collapse under his weight.

 

by little_kitty
11-28-04
I bet you dance like that at the bars every night.
Oh yeah. I totally do.
Only I have glow sticks.
And a pink wig. And a little sailor suit.
Oh wait. That's not me!
That's me!

 

by little_kitty
11-28-04
I'm Lil' Jon, the KING of Crunk!
He has got to be the biggest freak of them all. He doesn't even have a good voice.
I know! But I am totally the Queen of Crunk.
You should, like, get a shirt that says that.
And send out cards that say "Merry Crunkmas" in big 'bling' letters.

 

by little_kitty
11-28-04
Free pr0n!

 

by little_kitty
11-30-04
1. Let everything get to you.
There has been NOTHING done in the store today. You can't even walk in the back room...
I come bearing 20 boxes of stock for you to have no place to put.
2. Realise that its not going to get any better.
You can't get mad that they didn't clean up or do anything... it was busy.
But... to leave popcorn on the floor EVERYWHERE... makes me want to eat it, but its so gross...
3. Quit
I get the feeling you're in a sour mood today... I think its the frown combined with the throwing of things...
You're right. Oh, by the way, I quit.

 

by little_kitty
12-01-04
*SGI = Saskatchewan Government Insurance
Hi there. I've had a break-in and I need to make an SGI* claim
No problem. Just go see that guy over at the tills and he can help you out.
Hi there. I've had a break-in and I need to make an SGI claim
No problem. Just let me grab these forms... What CD's or DVD's were you missing?
All of them.

 

by little_kitty
12-01-04
Alright... do you remember specifically what you're missing?
Can you print out a list of all the stuff you have in your archive and I'll tell you what I'm missing?
Sir, that's several thousand titles. I can't print all that out.
Oh, no. I just want the CD's from your Rock/Pop section.
Sir, that's still at least a thousand titles.
So that's a no?

 

by little_kitty
12-01-04
I don't even think that I have the capabilities of printing out such a list...
You just go onto your little computer and say print list.
What are you talking about? That would come up with several thousand PAGES of information
And?
And frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
So... that's a no?

 

by little_kitty
12-08-04
And I can't remember why I was making a comic

 

by little_kitty
12-08-04
I'm the uvula!

 

by little_kitty
12-13-04
Thursday
So, what do you want to do tonight?
Let's watch hockey! Wait, no hockey. Um... let's watch the OC?
Friday
So, what do you want to do tonight?
Let's do nothing. Hockey's on tomorrow so I need to save my liver.
Saturday
So, what do you want to do tonight?
Hockey night in Canada! Wait... That's non-existant right now. I'm going to go drink for no reason now.

 

by little_kitty
12-13-04
How do the Christmas decorations look?
I'm the wrong guy to ask, Maura! I hate Christmas.
But how can you say that, Pete?
It all started when I was a kid...
Sorry, son. Your mom wanted me to dress up like this so I could join the holiday orgy.
But she said I could bring the package!

 

by little_kitty
12-16-04
The dreams that were swiftly coming into my head didn't seem real...
There was a Scottish bloke there wearing some sort of a skirt... A bald man leering at anything in a skirt...
It's a KILT
Whatever you say...
Some strange man walking around with a beer in one hand and... no pants?!
My name is Boorite and I approve of this recollection.

 

by little_kitty
12-20-04
This happens at least
Would you like a gift receipt with that?
TWENTY FUCKING
BILLION TIMES per day.
Uh... a what?

 

by little_kitty
12-20-04
On the radio this morning they had a commercial that said keep the Christ in Christmas
That's kind of offensive to people who aren't Christian
I know, I want to email them and tell them to take it off the air, but then I'll be seen as anti-Christ
Alright... here's what you do. Call in and say "Long time listener, first time caller. And I'd just like to say..."
Keep the ass in Christmas?
No. "Fuck you, churchy's. Have an awesome day!"

 

by little_kitty
1-07-05
I was just wondering... where have all the cowboys gone?
Well?
Oh... I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were serious.

 

by little_kitty
1-15-05
I love Oxycodone.
I love tonsils, but nooo.

 

by little_kitty
1-25-05
Have you ever noticed that when you start up your computer
I've got 10 billion MB of space for ya!
Yeah, well, I've got 10 billion plus one MB of space.
there's code like "Primary Slave" and "Primary Master" ?
Ooh. Let me be the slave tonight!
Slave, clean my motherboard and examine my RAM
Its like Computers are FORCING geeks to watch porn.
DUDE. Did you see that?! That was so hot.
That Dell just totally jizzed all over that iMac.

 

by little_kitty
2-05-05
Do you want to tell her that her fly is down or should I?

 

by little_kitty
2-05-05

 

by little_kitty
2-05-05
Do you suffer from CCR also known as Chronic Comic Rating?
God Yes!
Mmhmm!
Would you like to know how to rid yourself of it?
That would be nice...
Sure!
Step One: Turn off your computer...
Now you're just talking crazy talk.
You can do that?!

 

by little_kitty
2-14-05
So, Jesus and I were talking about the fact that I haven't made a lot of comics lately.
I said it was because I had no ideas, so he said to open up the 'make a comic' page, and the ideas would flow.

 

by little_kitty
2-14-05
Fuck this. I'm going to get drunk.

 

by little_kitty
2-14-05
So, today is Valentine's Day. Woohoo. Who decided that this day should be so FREAKING special?
I mean, wasn't St. Valentine just a normal guy with a big heart?
Who was plugging 3 hot bi-sexual blonds in some sort of drunken orgy?

 

by little_kitty
2-14-05
12:00pm
2:30pm
5:00pm

 

by little_kitty
2-16-05
Do you ever have secrets that you just want to let out?
Oh yeah, all the time.
Okay, you tell one first.
I once woke up in a bed soaked with urine and MikeyG passed out beside me with his hand down his pants.
I... I was just going to say that I listen to pop music when no one's around.
Mine's worse, I win!

 

by little_kitty
2-19-05
Whoa! its just like looking in a mirror!
Am I really that ugly?!

 

by little_kitty
2-20-05
Hey, you know when people are swearing and they're like 'Jesus H Christ!"?
Yeah, what about it?
What does the H stand for? Henry? Harold? Hermoine?
Well?
My God you're a fucking idiot.

 

o/' This is what dreeeeams are made of! '\o
by little_kitty, 4-07-05

 

by little_kitty
4-26-05
You know that if you only get 2 of these they'll be 7.99 because they're on the 3 for 20 deal.
I wasn't born yesterday.
Funny. I would have thought anyone buying Arnold Schwarzanegger DVDs would have HAD to have been born yesterday.

 

by little_kitty
4-26-05
You know that these will be 7.99 each because the deal is 3 for 20.
I wasn't born yesterday.
You're kidding! I thought everyone was born fully grown a day before shopping for crappy DVD's!

 

by little_kitty
4-26-05
You know that these will be 7.99 each because the deal is 3 for 20.
I wasn't born yesterday.
Good one.

 

I spy with my little eye something that is...
Lunch!
by little_kitty, 4-26-05

Showing page 4.

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