All comics by lukket

Profile

 

by lukket
1-01-04
You're home late? What happened?
OK. Listen.
I quickly delivered the message ...
I have a message from Blue. He wants you to know that he loves you.
OK. I have to think about it.
On my way home, something strange happened...
Hey, can you help me sort my stamp collection. It is in disorder.
OK! Even if it's going to take the rest of the afternoon.

 

by lukket
1-01-04
Let me have a look at that mailbox.
Oh. A virtual postcard from Blue.
"Enter in this field whatever the postcard should yield"
Yeah. That's Blue alright. Hmm. Here's a mail from Brunette.
"I forgot to tell you how wonderful a night I spent with Blue last night. He is good in bed."
Maybe if I close my eyes, none of this is happening.

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-03-04

 

by lukket
1-18-04
Let's see. A new CC. Cool. I'm going to win, I can feel it already..
"a character will have an event happen that they've been waiting to happen for a long time. And then when it does, said "character" will somehow screw it up"
Let's see. A new CC. Cool. I'm going to win, I can feel it already..
"a character will have an event happen that they've been waiting to happen for a long time. And then when it does, said "character" will somehow screw it up"
Let's see. A new CC. Cool. I'm going to win, I can feel it already..
"a character will have an event happen that they've been waiting to happen for a long time. And then when it does, said "character" will somehow screw it up"

 

by lukket
1-18-04
This is your big chance. Tony Vicente owns most of the night clubs in Vegas, and he will be watching tonight! Don't screw it up!
Don't worry. I can handle it.
Isn't the mafia just pathetic!? I think they commit crime because they aren't clever enough to get a proper job!
Your place or my place, sweetie?
I didn't know that it was supposed to be taken literally

 

by lukket
1-20-04
My GOD, that was the best show ever.
Yeah, I can't believe they ended up detroying the whole city afterwards.
Well, it's been a trademark of theirs
So, now that it's over, what you wanna do?
I'm not sure I want to be one of those hardcore fans that follows them on their tours anymore...
Oh come on. Everything went nicely until you asked them to do one of their songs...

 

by lukket
1-24-04
Wellington McNocock? What brings you here?
I want you to know, mylady, that your interference in my life has caused me nothing but disappointment.
What on Earth are you talking about?
Pray tell me that you haven't forgotten our last rendez-vous:
Thank you for rescuing me. I will fulfill any wish you might have!
I wish that it should never be necessary to worry about my potency!

 

by lukket
2-01-04
I have consulted you, my dear doctor, to seek an explanation to why I sometimes feel a pain in my crotch in spite of my lack of a certain limb.
That's elementary Herr McNocock. It's called phantom pains.
I beg your pardon?
Phantom pains occur because the nerves still expect signals from the missing limbs.
Do you care to join me at home for tea, crumpets and a phantomorgasmic experience!?
Go away, you freak! You scare me.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
Indypete, I think it's over between us.
Indypete, I think it's over between us.
Indypete, I think it's over between us.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
But this reporter thinks that we will prevail against the Utopian forces
I for one welcome our new Utopian overlords!

 

by lukket
2-07-04
President Banyana was all out of oats.
I'm all out of oats! Isn't there something we could do about it. Hasn't Insania got a lot of that?
But Mr. President. The UN embargo doesn't allow us to import goods from Insania!?
Who's talking about trade? We'll invade them on the pretext of their dictator Spigot.
But aren't they virtually defenseless due to the sanctions?
Exactly!
Oh. I get your point.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
Happybirthday's corporate hq
Soldier. You've got to put together an army to defeat Insania!
Isn't that the responsibility of the DoD?
Happybirthday's corporate hq
What is good for Happybirthday is also good for Utopia. And besides, we own the DoD!
What about democracy?
Happybirthday's corporate hq
We plan to buy that too.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
President Banyana addresses the nation of Utopia
Fellow Utopians! Today is a great day. We have defeated the Insanian army and we will find that they have indeed oats.. I mean WoMD!
Spigot is now relieved of his power and the Insanian people will soon regain their freedom.
We will make sure that elections will take place at a non-disclosed time.
We of course choose the non-disclosure to make sure that Spigots party will not regain power.
We will not declare the war over, because then we would be an occupying force.
And that doesn't sound good when the election year is upcoming. Did I say that out loud?

 

by lukket
2-07-04
President Spigot had taken refuge underground.
Oh God, I'm bored.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
I thought the Utopians were done bombing!?
It's not the Utopians this time. It's us Insanians!
Why on Earth are we doing that?
I think it's because we want the Utopians to get out!
Don't you think that the bombs will encourage them to stay!?
They DID elect Banyana for President, you know.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
Mr. President, wasn't the real motive for this war to get our hands on the oat reserves of Insania?
Of course ... not. We have intelligence reports that Insania was working on weapons of mass distraction.
And you want to destroy that?
We will analyse it in our labs.
You want to fully understand how to defend us against the perils of mass distraction?
Of course not, we're having an election year, and I think we need to distract the masses.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
Damn, I'm bored. Let's unleash the weapons of mass distraction.
Hey! What was that?
I don't know.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
And now for the daily news from Insania. Reporting live from Insania is ....
Uhm. Where was I? Anyway, President Banyana has just declared that he is no longer fond of oats. Instead he now prefers wheat. Seems like he's shifting focus from the Middle East to the Mid West.

 

by lukket
2-07-04
It's so cool that the Utopians have made us free and finally has left us alone.
Yeah. It's great. Now we can decide for ourselves what to do with our oats.
What should we do with all our oats?
We could make a lot of oatmeal
That sounds boring.
Yeah. Freedom sucks.

 

by lukket
2-08-04
Indypete, I think it's over between us.
Ha! You'll come crawling back.
Hi Pete. What happened to your house?
I don't know, and I don't care. We don't talk anymore.

 

by lukket
2-15-04
That linux o/s sure is a pain in the ass.
it goes in your computer, not in your ass.
There sure is a lot of ass humor in these strips.
I think we've exhausted. massic's comedic talent
What comic talent?
I'll better click "random" again...

 

by lukket
2-15-04
Hey baby, how you doin?
Is this guy for real?
So, yeah... what do you say we go grab something to munch on?
Um, no... come to think of it, I always thought you were gay.
The chicks always hold my South Park appearance against me... it's not fair!
Cry me a river! At least you have your corpus cavernosa intact!

 

by lukket
2-15-04
I love you
I love you too
A ring! That's sweet
I found it at the bottom of a volcano. Will you marry me?
I"LL KILL YOU FOR THIS

 

by lukket
2-15-04
It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker
Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged.
I can't wait.
Hey! Where did he go?
I don't understand this. His profile said that he wanted to be in a triangle with two blondes!

 

by lukket
2-16-04
Worst after (and before)
Die!
Don't thank me. Thank your mom for the $100 she gave me to do it!
I'm sorry, but the buttplug seems to be stuck!

 

by lukket
2-22-04
Honey! I'm home!
Honey? Where are you?
Hi dad. Mummy went to get some tan.
That sounds like a perfect waste of time to me.

 

by lukket
2-22-04
Dad, I have a question for you
Just ask me anything, son!
How can I get the attention of the girls? They never notice me.
That's easy, son. Just give them a good pinch!
Will that make them like me?
No. But you surely get their attention!

 

by lukket
2-22-04
15yrstud: Hello cutie!
invisiblegirl: Hi. A/S/L?
15yrstud: 15/M/Texas. Gotta pic?
invisiblegirl: Sure! Just wait.
15yrstud: I'm off. C ya dude!
Damn...

 

by lukket
2-22-04
Remember what they taught you. The subpoena is only legally delivered when you've seen him.
What do you want?
Um... can I see your father?
Probably not!
I quit!

 

by lukket
2-22-04
What's the problem, officer?
It's a penalty by our state law to drive while being invisible! Follow me to the station.
OK, officer.
Sorry I was late, hon. I was nearly arrested for driving while invisible. But I tricked him!
Good thing you followed that ventroloquism course...

 

by lukket
2-22-04
I don't know. That invisible family show needs some celebrity guest stars.
But how can we fit that into our tight budget?
Aw man. Finally in Paris to see Jim Morrison's grave.
I am the lizard king!
I don't know. I don't think it fits into the story line...
OK. We'll just use it for the halloween episodes, then.

 

by lukket
2-22-04
Hi cutie, why didn't you greet me?
Oh. Hi Cindy. I didn't see you.
Do you have a prom date yet?
I'd love to Cindy, but my parents would freak out over the pictures.
Aw come on. We would look great together.

 

by lukket
2-22-04
Cindy, my parents would just don't understand that I date an invisible girl.
You just want me because you can sneak me into your room unseen!
No Cindy. You misunderstand, I ...
Sorry I interrupt you talking to yourself, but I'd want a burger.
Just a moment. Hey wait Cindy, don't go! I love you!
You need some serious councelling.

 

by lukket
2-22-04
You are crying, sweetie?
Steve don't want to go the prom with me, because I'm invisible, mum.
That's not a way to treat a young lady. Your dad would never be that rude.
But you weren't invisible when you met.
That's right. I would never have dated him if he was invisible then.
Gee, thanks mum

 

by lukket
2-22-04
The "Invisible Family" series gets a pretty good Nielsen rating.
Yeah. But there's the problem about merchandising.
We've sold a lot of that. What's the problem?
Yesterday during a show where we presented clothes from the series a little boy shouted "But they ain't got any clothes on"
We got to close the show.
OK. I'll arrange for an ending. Let's just agree that they were run over by a truck driver who didn't see them.

 

by lukket
3-21-04
Holy crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH!
Take me to your leader.
Why? What do you aliens want from us humans?
You know what we want...
You want our leaders?
We eat them. You get rid of them. We all win!

 

by lukket
3-21-04
A comic contest? How sweet. Let me see. I'll post a half assed version first.
Then I'll take an obvious in-joke and make an entry with that.
What next. I don't know. I'll just make something.
Oh. I actually got an original idea. It says only three entries, but what the hell.
That was a good one by Kaufman. Maybe I can just make my version of it.
Punchlines? Damn. I haven't thought of punchlines and now the contest is over.

 

by lukket
3-21-04
Can I get your bone or do I have to play fetch?
Last I checked, my bone was up yours.
Why are we both being dissed?
I think it's because you copy other people's ideas!
You copied me!
You sat on the copier. What was I to do?

 

by lukket
3-21-04
Er det ikke fjollet at lave den på dansk???
Nej. Jeg synes det er fedt på den måde.
Nå. Lad os komme i gang. Hvad hedder byen på den østlige side af Lillebæltsbroen?
Øhm. Det er Middelfart?
Nemlig! Og hvad står der på elevatorer, når de kører?
"I fart". NÃ¥ ja. Det er da lidt sjovt.

 

by lukket
3-27-04
Help!
What's the problem little mouse?
I'm a handsome prince turned into a mouse by an evil spell
I'll see what I can do about it.

 

by lukket
4-03-04
Help!
What's the problem little mouse?
I'm a handsome prince turned into a mouse by an evil spell
I'll see what I can do about it.
Thanks, but where's my clothes?
You won't need them for a very long time

Showing page 4.

« Previous Next »