All comics by maxawa

Profile

 

by maxawa
9-18-03
Hmm...
That didn't really help convince you I'm not the source of all evil, did it?
Not so much, no.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
I'm sorry, but for the good of the universe, you must perish. And I know just how to do it. *KRINKLE*
*KRINKLE*
I don't understand. That should have worked. *KRINKLE*
Stop nodding your balls at me.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
Like father, like son.
Get up.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
I said get up.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
Just... uh... tying my shoe.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
Your father was a Krinkler, tiny brother. Did you know that? That's how he started.
Started what?
Is he talking out of his ankle?

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
Started down the dark path to rapedom.
Yeah. As best I can tell, his voice comes out of the part with the birthmark.
My father was framed! He never raped anybody! A Puerto Rican did it!
Black people have birthmarks?

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
No, tiny brother. That is just what he told you. He did so to spare you. And because he doesn't much like Puerto Ricans.
Of course they have birthmarks.
How would you know? You don't know anything about my father!
Are they white?

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
SuperNegro knows everything about your father. At least, SuperNegro's kidney, pancreas, abdomen, spleen, small intenstines, fingernails, and buttflap do.
Ha! Are they white he asks! Of course they're white!
What?
Weird. Next you'll be telling me they can suntan too.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
Hello, son.
What are you ignorant? How could they tan? They're already black.
Dad?
The birthmarks aren't.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
Are those two honkies talking about what I think they're talking about?
I had the Krinkle once, son, just like you. When I lost it, I tried just about anything I could to get that feeling back. Most notably, ball nodding and raping.
Depends on what you think they're talking about.
Well, yeah, the birthmarks are white. But they can't tan. They're like scar tissue.
So you really raped her? SuperPuertoRican's mom?
What are you talking about? My birthmark gets darker whenever I'm in the sun. Look for yourself. It's right there above my eyebrow.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
The fools think a brother's birthmark has to be white.
I did, son. I raped her dirty good. Got 10 years in the state pen for it. But I'm so hungry for the Krinkle, first thing I do when I get out is try to rape her again. But things didn't go as planned.
Well, it does, don't it? Look at Freddy.
That pink thing above your eyebrow? That's a birthmark? I thought you were just a sloppy eater.
What happened?
Mom called it my angel kiss. Dad told me to stop rolling around in dog shit. I always did like mom more than dad.

 

by maxawa
11-25-08
What happened? SuperPuertoRican beat the dogsnot out of your old dad pretty good. Parts of me spread over 4 city blocks. And not the good side of town neither.
He woahn be bothering you no more, mama.
My hero! Just wait till the cat hears!
An jes in time for our dinner with our new neighbors.
Rapist bastards! I'll kill you both!
Pack the house, honey, we're moving.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
Freddy don't have a white birthmark, fool. He just ashy.
I'd be dead if SuperNegro didn't need my parts. My old cellmate was their other third, but when they found out the charges against them were dropped, they got so drunk they accidentally absorbed him.
You mean ashy ain't a birthmark? What the hell is that shit then?
Dead skin.
Absorbed?
You might wanna stay out of that conversation.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
Absorbed.
HELP!!! SOMEONE!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!! SO!!! MUCH!!!
Ooo, HBO.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
Why don't YOU stay out the conversation, sloppy eater!
So here I am. Came cause I had a vision. It was mostly me raping people. And things. But after the credits, there was a little Ferris Bueller bit about me getting up to Antartica to help my son.
What you just call me?
No, I'm just saying. Dead skin. Maybe that's what the ashy thing is.
Help me how?
It's a birthmark!

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
SuperNegro will cross his Krinkle stream with yours in order to nullify the evil one's power. Looking at him now, SuperNegro has also decided to Krinkle out an "Eat less sloppy" chaser.
Get up.
Birthmark!

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
Please tell me that was just a typical "Black guy on snow" thing. Otherwise, I'm gonna lose some respect for you.
I think it was more a blackout from hearing one's own father utter that he wants to "cross his Krinkle stream with yours" kinda thing.
Still another reason I didn't like dad.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
On the count of three.
Okay, but remember to aim for the right one. I know they all look alike, but we're aiming for the one in the blue shirt.
WE'RE BOTH WEARING BLUE SHIRTS!
Hey, here's an idea! Rather than scarring me for life by whipping out your dongly bits and nodding your genitalia at me, how about you try to kick a Krinkle field goal between the two white guys? Wee!

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
THREE.
I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a big, bright, shining star.
He means the white guy with the blue shirt that has a collar. Aim for the white guy with the collar! TELL HIM TO AIM FOR THE WHITE GUY WITH A COLLAR!
Or how about this--keep away! I'm trying to get the Krinkle, but you're trying to keep it from me. So if you wave your genitalia at me, I win. AND NOBODY WANTS THAT.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
TWO.
Shhh! I need to pump myself up.
SHHH QUIET YOU! TELL HIM NOT TO BALLNOD ME!
Or maybe Reverse Day! Black is white, white is black! LOOK! A white guy right in front of you! I bet you could stoop on down and rest one on each side of his head! Make him look like a pilgrim!

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
ONE.
I'M A STAR, I'M A STAR, I'M A BIG, BRIGHT, SHINING STAR!
COLLAR!
TIDDLYWINKS!

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
!!!KRINKLE!!!
!!!KRINKLE!!!
WHY AM I STILL LOOKING??
HOLY SHIT! THIS FEELS JUST LIKE...

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
My lord, John had another orgasm.
FanTASTIC! Which bridge fell? PleasesayBrooklyn, PleasesayBrooklyn, PleasesayBrooklyn.
None, my lord.
What? How is that possible?
Apparently, they used the power of Krinkle to remove the evil algorithm attached to John. It got transferred to another host.
WHO??

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
Unfortunately for evil, there isn't a whole lot for a squirrel to do on Io.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
We did it, dad.
You know we did, son.
What are you going to do now?
Rape something.
Dad!
Take a joke, boy. I don't expect I'll ever be raping again. I'm inside a man nearly 24 hours a day. As the buttflap no less. I think I get my fill. Literally.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
I'm glad you pulled through.
Really?
Of course. I know you didn't have any control over it. You had no idea every action you took caused something evil to happen somewhere in the universe.
That's surprising to hear you say. I gotta admit--I thought you were rooting against me.
What would give you that idea?
Off the top of my head? Probably the "COLLAR, COLLAR, HE'S GOT A COLLAR" number. The accompanying choreography and pyrotechnics didn't help much either.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
Well, here it is. Floors are kind of squishy, but it has HBO and Showtime. I'd pay cable out of my half and you'd pay electrical out of yours.
It's kind of a "gated" community, so in regards to your last question: No, I don't think there's any chance of a demented rape victim breaking in to murder you in your sleep.
WE'LL TAKE IT!

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
Well, we did it.
Yep.
Kind of a letdown, though, isn't it? Yesterday we're saving the universe and today the most exciting thing we've done is stealthily watch SuperMick have sex with SuperMinorcan.
There wasn't anything stealthy about it. They're 80 feet tall. Weathermen were advising people to carry an umbrella.
Still, with evil on the decline, it seems like no one ever commits crimes anymore. I wish we had something to do.
I might know something.

 

by maxawa
11-26-08
DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID!
DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID!
Wingdings are in the oven!
THE END

Showing page 4.

« Previous