All comics by thochaos

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by thochaos
4-08-04
This isn't actually any better.

 

by thochaos
4-08-04
It's been over 10 weeks...
You'd think someone would have cleaned up this mess by now.

 

by thochaos
4-24-04
Hello officer, how may I help you?
Father Hancock, I am arresting you on suspicion of child molestation.
Oh dear Lord! This is worse than the time I found out that Boyz II Men wasn't a delivery service!
Anything you say may be -wait, did you just say something?
NYPD KICK ASS!
Damn straight.

 

by thochaos
4-24-04
I have a joke for you!
I can barely contain my excitement.
Ok, here goes. What did one cock say to the other cock?
This fat dipshit stuck me up his ass and you're next?
No, silly. Nothing, roosters can't talk! Ha ha ha!
I like my answer better.

 

by thochaos
10-12-04
Oww my head... What the hell happened last night?
I dunno. You came home trashed so I put you to bed.
But... I woke up naked!
Don't look at me! You came home naked!
DUN DUN DUUUNN!
AARRGGHH! What the hell did I do this time?
I'm not sure, but if that sinister music's anything to go by, you might want to lay low for a while.

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
Well looks like I got drunk again even after deciding I wasn't going to drink at all.
I don't remember anything, I ache all over and there's dried blood on my head!
This is far too depressing to be funny.
Not from where I'm standing!

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
Who are you? Did we meet at the party?
You could say that...
What do you mean?
Congratulations! You consumed so much alcohol that I, the God of Drink, have appeared before you!
Is that a good thing?
Let's just say it's a good thing I got here before the God of Brain Damage.

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
So why are you here?
To show you what happened last night.
Great! I hate getting black-out drunk and forgetting everything. But uh, could you do something for me?
Like what?
Can you pull my head out of the pavement?
No, I might spill my drink.

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
How can I see what happened with my head stuck in the ground?
Fair call.
Alley-oop!
AH FUCK! I think the concrete was the only thing holding my brains in my head!
Yeah looks that way.
All my brains just came out! How am I still alive?
Don't be stupid! It's not like you ever used them before!

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
So are you going to show me what happened last night?
Yeah, but first you have to take a drink from this bottle.
What the hell is it?
After what you ingested last night, you're worried about drinking the contents of this bottle?
Good point, pass it here.

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
Whoa, what the hell is this?
This is the effect of my magical God of Drink concoction!
All these swirling colours are making me want to puke!
Don't be foolish!
It's more likely the combination of white-out, turpentine and methylated spirits that's doing that.

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
This looks familiar... yes! We're back at the party!
That's right, to be precise it is 10pm on Saturday night.
I vaguely remember this part. So now we're here we can change the past?
No! We must only observe!
Then what's the point?
My TV's broken.

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
Hey there I am. Wait, what am I doing?
Oh yes, I remember this part...
I don't even know who you are! Leave me alone!
Thass intressin wanna sssee my dick? YEAAAAAAHHHH!
Oh fuck no!
Wait, it gets better! Oh no, no it gets worse.

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
1 hour later...
My god that was horrible! All I did was get progressively more drunk, hit on all the girls and try to punch out peope.
You fell over and hit your head a lot too.
Oh yeah, I fell down the steps and hit my head on the car and then they carried me to the end of the drive and dumped me there.
Yep. Dropped you right on your head.
So now what happens? Do I get a second chance to fix all my mistakes?
Second chance? I'm amazed you're still alive!

 

by thochaos
11-21-04
I'm so ashamed of myself! I swear a solemn oath that I will never get drunk again!
Yes, I believe you have learned your lesson this time.
Take me back where you found me!
As you wish!
Right back where I belong. At least things can't get any worse.
Oh man, this is going to be awkward...

 

by thochaos
12-17-04
Do you ever wonder if inanimate objects have feelings?
Like a urinal for example. Does it like to be urinated all over? Or would it prefer you peed in one litle spot to keep it's humiliation to a minimum?
*sigh* I guess I'll never know.

 

by thochaos
12-18-04
Well Levitating Boy, how are we ever going to escape from Captain Evil's Dungeon?
Don't worry about that, Half-Naked Girl?
How can you be so calm at a time like this?
Think about it. We'll escape at the last possible moment, thwarting Captain Evil's plans in the process. Just like we ALWAYS do!
Later...
I hate you Levitating Boy!
Hey! Dead people can't talk!

 

by thochaos
12-22-04
Don't you just hate the hollow feeling you get when you take a really big shit?
It feels like your guts are gonna cave in. It fucking hurts!
Oooh! Round corners!

 

by thochaos
12-24-04
FUCK!

 

by thochaos
12-26-04
MUAHAHAHA! I've got you now! I'm going to chew off your knees and floss with your spinal column!
Uhmm...
What?

 

by thochaos
12-28-04
Don't hug Fuzzy The Duckling! Fuzzy The Duckling has a sharp beak that he uses to poke out the eyes of his enemies.
That dumb duck is too small, anyway. You might crush him with your big hands and break his neck!
Then you will scream and throw him down onto the grass where he will just sit all day and not move at all.
Yes, I am that bored.

 

by thochaos
12-28-04
I am so sick of this! All the guys here have girlfriends but they keep hitting on me!
Cheating, low-life scum! I can't stand it!
You know, there's a word for people like that.
"Men."

 

by thochaos
1-08-05
sing a song j
The girl over there with the hot pants on. Filthy MacNasty all night long. Get down hu!
...
The one over there. With the mini dress ha! I ain't got time- I still dig that mess! Get down!
I wish I could "get down"...
But I like the hot pants! Hey! I like a hot pants!

 

by thochaos
1-08-05
So I says, "Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes my Father who sent me."
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you laughing about?

 

by thochaos
1-08-05
hey j wanna see a trick?
im down with that
hnnnnnngggggg
that was awesome!
i didnt do it yet
oh

 

by thochaos
1-08-05
Suddenly, the Jesuses (Jesi?) began to speak in tongues!
wrrjhkkkeewqw
asaskkcockslobbarifj
...and then I woke up! What does this all mean?
Dreams mean nothing. Last night I dreamed about fucking your sister!
My sister is only 10 years old!
They grow up so fast these days.

 

by thochaos
1-10-05
I have to warn you. There are pictures of us doing stuff on the night when we were drunk!
Stuff? What stuff? We didn't do anything!
What are you talking about? There is a picture of me grabbing your ass, another of me looking down your top and one of my trying to kiss you!
Then those are pictures of you trying to do things to me, not "us doing stuff."
Damn it you're right! I'm a horrible human being!
And a lousy kisser.

 

by thochaos
1-10-05
I'm a lousy kisser? I don't remember you complaining at the time!
I was practically passed out you jackass!
Passed out? But I felt tongue!
That wasn't tongue, that was projectile vomit!
That does explain the chunks of carrot...

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
You're probably wondering why I called you here. The murderer of Lord Bunbury is right in this room. Is it his wastrel son, Lord Bunbury, Jr., who needed his inheritance to pay off debts?
Is it his upstairs maid, with whom he shared one night of love thirty years ago that resulted in issue? Is it that issue, who arrived here just last night on a boat from Inja? Is it Lady Marbury?
Is it her brother, the Duke of Earl, or one of the rent boys he regularly hires? Is it Rickets, the chauffeur with the shady past? Is it Pierre LeCirque, international art forger and blackmailer?
Or was it, mayhaps, someone else? I think the answer will surprise most of you just as much as it surprised me when I realized it. The murderer of Lord Bunbury is-- GREAT SCOTT! THE LIGHTS! AAHH!!
12:00 AM Thursday, 1/20/05 Stripcreator Time
What happened? I thought you were a sure bet to win this one?
...still...reading...template...

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
Well the joke's on you! I only kissed you because I was blind drunk!
Whatever. Jerk.
Hahahahaha! Owned! HAHAHAHA!
Pffft. I'm leaving.
I Love You.

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
Uh oh!
What did you just say?
I... uh... I said.. LOOK A THREE HEADED MONKEY!
Oh boy!
I don't see any- HEY!

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
Still here A.T.?
Yeah, I've been thinking about my life as a masturbator. I'm getting nowhere.
At last! So what are you going to do about it?
I'm going to give Amber a call...
...and see if she'll lend me some Dove!
Fuck this, I'm gonna go get drunk.

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
"So I met this girl..."
Hey. You look hot. Wanna go out with me?
Sure. No.
"I wasn't sure what to do next..."
Oh. Well you know we could just hang out some time.
I don't want to. Sounds like fun!
"And then..."
I am so fucking confused.
GLORP GLORP

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
I can't believe we're finally going to meet tomorrow!
It's been 2 years, I can't wait any longer!
You're finally here! But, you know, I always pictured you taller.
What a coincidence!
You always pictured me taller too?
No, naked!

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
...for the next five minutes anyway.

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
I didn't touch your daughter, I SWEAR!

 

by thochaos
1-12-05
Hmmm. I have to get up for work in 8 hours.
Yep. I should really get some sleep.
1 hour later..
"If you don't stop me I'll keep making crap comics!" BEST COMIC EVAR!!11!!!

 

by thochaos
1-17-05
Sorry about the crabs.

 

by thochaos
1-17-05
This kid is still just sitting there staring off into space.
Thinking about masturbating no doubt. This guy is hopeless.
What are we to do with young A.T.? What?
I wish that fucking donkey would stop staring at my crotch.

 

by thochaos
2-17-05
Sweet! Someone finally started a new BTC!
Wait, this template sucks! Who started this shit? BIPED!?!
Fuck it.

 

by thochaos
2-17-05
Yay a cute doggie! I'm gonna ask dad if I can keep you!
Daddy, daddy! I found a doggie! Can I keep it?
Sure sweetie, but you have to do something first.
I'll do anything! What do you want me to do?
Fuck it.

 

by thochaos
2-27-05

 

by thochaos
4-20-05
So it's finally come to this then.
Yep. Not entirely unexpected though, surely?
Not really. After all I haven't made a decent strip in at least a year.
Some would argue that you never made a decent strip.
Where's the bloody punchline?
Who cares? Just hit the random comic layout button. You might just get lucky.

 

by thochaos
4-20-05
Well this is another fine mess you've gotten us in to!
Witch mess would that be?
We're in prison! And it's all your fault!
I'm nun to blame!
This is bad enough without those godawful puns!
I'm sorry, I just have this really bad habit...

 

by thochaos
4-20-05
So whaddya think?
Well the place is bright, vibrant. Looking good.
Great! Go on...
The "SALE" sign has obviously been hung with the utmost of care.
I did that myself! And the rest?
This urinal is the icing on the cake!

 

by thochaos
4-20-05
What the hell? My key won't fit the lock! I'm stuck outside!
Oh wait...
That was my penis.

 

by thochaos
4-20-05
So what the fuck you been up to lately Bill Gates?
Funny you should ask, Dog-on-ball!
Does it have something to do with that baby you're holding?
Of course! When I said funny, I meant funny unusual, unnatural even. Not funny "haha."
Well obviously.

 

by thochaos
4-20-05
Now this is just awkward.

 

by thochaos
4-20-05
As Luigi prepared to complain to the restaurant management about the draft and lack of seating...
little did he realise that the Penecillo family was about to rub him out.

 

by thochaos
4-20-05
So how do you feel?
...oh my head...
I have no sympathy for you at all.
What happened? Look at this place! I don't remember anything.
Now this is why I tell you to never bring your work home with you!

Showing page 4.

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