All comics by webspider

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Normally Butch would never revisit the scene of the crime, but the alley was a good shortcut home, and his Chinese Food was starting to get cold...
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

The urban legends were right. If you walked in the cemetary at night and said the words "Abe Vigoda" 3 times, his ghost would appear!
I'm NOT dead!
Yet...
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

Although Butch's reputation was that of a pretty tough guy, he did have one weakness...
Okay, Butch. Just roll up your sleeve. This won't hurt hardly at all...
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

Normally he would have torn his supervisor's head off for making him work overtime, but Butch reminded himself that he was saving up for that new electic chair...
"♪"
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

Ah ha! Butch knew that someone was sneaking into his office at night. A little dab of megaglue on the knob, now he had the culprit's finger prints...
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

And Butch's supervisor said creating that combo Cell Phone GPS and Lightning Prediction software was a complete waste of time...
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

Butch didn't mind watching his sister's kid for the weekend, but he really wished the boy would stop borrowing his clothes and stuff...
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

Butch couldn't shake that strange feeling that there was something he was supposed to do today...
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

When Melvin asked him which hand the magic coin was in, maybe Butch shouldn't have answered "the severed one in the back of the dept fridge..."
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

Discovering the fly in his hotel room was one thing, but where the heck was Butch going to find an old lady at 2 o'clock in the morning?
by webspider, 7-12-10

 

Hit the Yellow Brick Road, Butch...
Oh Butch! That is very sweet, but we're of two different worlds.. I'm a bubbly free spirit of the 60s, while you're the first ten minutes of the Wizard of Oz...
by webspider, 7-13-10

 

After seeing "Wicked", Butch had to admit, it was horrible what happened to that poor sweet little old green faced witch who only wanted the shoes back that her sister borrowed and never returned...
Ahh! I'm melting! I'm melting! Dorothy, you little bitch!!
by webspider, 7-13-10

 

by webspider
7-13-10
Summoning Cthulhu would result in a week's visit to the insane asylum, but Butch figured it was worth it to finally get rid of that creepy pair... for at least a little while...

 

Butch didn't know what was more disappointing about receiving his mail order Anthrax shipment, the fact that the mail man was still alive or the $50 COD Charge...
by webspider, 7-13-10

 

Seeing Ralph's feet twitching from his fatal heart attack, Butch wondered if it was too late to take back his $5 donation for Ralph's retirement party next week...
by webspider, 7-13-10

 

Butch was dreading the fact that he'd forgotten his wallet at home... Then his new cubicle partner came in...
Dude, I'm not that kinda Piggy, okay? You'd be really disappointed to crack me open only to have my guts spill out onto the floor...
by webspider, 7-13-10

 

Wow! Those new super chillers really do a great job of keeping the server room cool, eh Frank?
Cool !
by webspider, 7-13-10

 

Trying to be more social, Butch invited a couple of co-workers over for dinner. Things were fine until his guest asked about Butch's other dinner guest...
Aaaaah!
How's your liver? More Fava Beans, Clarice?
by webspider, 7-15-10

 

by webspider
7-15-10
The Boss said this vendor was a real high pressure salesman. "Butch, you meet with him first, and change his mind about his tender numbers..."
So what can I do to get you into one of our Executive Class Server Service Packages?
Coffee?
10 minutes later...
What was in that coffee? I feel so dizzy. I better lie down for a few minutes.....
Goodness, Butch! It's like that vendor is a completely different guy! From now on you pre-meet all my vendors!
A half million dollar service package for $25,000? That guy is either desperate or out of his mind!
*grrglgrrrrgllgrrgll*

 

by webspider
7-15-10
Don't shoot the messenger...
Why so glum, Chum?
Butch's new project didn't get funding approval -- And I have to tell him....
Nobody said don't kick, punch, bite...
No broken bones? No missing parts? Boy, Butch must be in a good mood this morning!

 

Butch was pleased to be part of the new project when he found out that the company was going to use a Dot Net Nuke...
But this IS a content management system...
by webspider, 7-16-10

 

by webspider
7-16-10
Butch Sees Dead People...
Wooo! I am the ghost of victims past. I'm here to terrorize you for all your past deeds, Butch. You must repent your evil ways!
Um. Yeah, good luck with that...
Booooo! Woogie Woogie Woogie! I am here to torment you! Aren't you so scared?
Um. Nope.
Boooo! Are you terrified yet?
Dead Dude, we have to have a serious talk about personal space...

 

by webspider
7-16-10
Is the Ghost Clear?
Whew! I think I finally lost that little...
Boooooooo!
...creep.

 

by webspider
7-16-10
Who you gonna call?
Dead Dude, you seriously need to take a long hike off a short tombstone -- or else. ------------------------ Yeah, hold that thought...
Boooooo! You can't threaten me. I'm already dead.
It's gotta be in here somewhere...

E.. F.. G...

Ah, there is it...

555-2368
What what that all about?
Oh, nothing...

By the way, do you hear a siren?

 

by webspider
7-16-10
Trust Us. We're Professionals.
Hey Mac. Did you call the number? -------------------- Good, where's the creep? --------------------- Yeah, we do that too.
Um. Yeah. ----------------------- Did you just read my mind? --------------------- Cool !
I think it's down the hallway, by the water cooler.
No problem. Let me just get changed into my gear...
That's your gear?
Trust Us. We're Professionals.

 

by webspider
7-16-10
They all float...
Booooo! Now where did he go?
What the heck happened to the lights?
Ack! What the heck are you supposed to be? ---------------------- Tim Curry in a cheesy clown suit?
I'm your worst nightmare, creep! ------------------- Sorry, my Rocky Horror outfit is at the cleaners...

 

by webspider
7-16-10
Wanna see something scary?
So what do you want with me? ------------------------ Or else -- what?
Well, see -- you are gonna stop haunting Butch -- Or else. ------------------------- I'll put you into a dark and horrible place.
Darkness? This doesn't seem so horrible ------------------------ Oh, yeah, I'm really scared. Do your worst, Clown Boy!
Oh, that is just the transition... Your final destination is much more terrifying... ------------------------- Ok, don't say you weren't warned...
So you give up, or do I have to send in the Unicorn Brigade?
Gaaaah! Help!! It's horrible! ------------------------- No, you win! I give up! Just let me outta here!

 

by webspider
7-16-10
But you can call him Mr. Furnier...
Okay, I'll take you back, but you have to stop trying to torment Butch...
Okay, it's a deal, you are scarier than I am...
But tell me something? Why would you want to help a horrible monster like Butch anyway?
Well, for the money, obviously? Besides, we've been watching Butch for a long time now...
And when he dies, we'll put him into The Scary Unicorn Room...
Woo.. I am so not worthy!

 

by webspider
7-16-10
Better Off Dead...
Okay, so we've got a deal?
Yeah, I'll leave Butch alone. But what will I do now? Haunting Butch was my only purpose?
I can understand that. But why is it that you were haunting Butch? Did he kill you?
Oh, no... It was far worse than that !
In life, I was Butch's newspaper boy... and he still owes me $2...

 

by webspider
7-16-10
Tell you what I am gonna do. Since you've lost this gig, let me hook you up with a friend of mine who can help you out...
Gosh! Thanks!
No problem. Now you just take that business card and tell them, Chuckles sent you. ----------------------- Oh, definitely...
Wow! This is great. Do you think I'll be what he's looking for?
Wow! You must be really good at this golf game, Mr. Grand Wizard. You keep hitting that little ball right into the water...
Curse you, Chuckles!

 

by webspider
7-16-10
Epilogue
Oh, you're back? Did you...
Yeah, I got rid of him.
How did you get rid of him --- ------------------------ Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Sorry, trade secret. --------------------------- Oh, let's say $2 and we'll call it even... Take care Butch, we'll be seeing you...
Wow! That was cool. But he was still a bit creepy....
I heard that...

 

by webspider
7-16-10
A Journey Begins...
Welcome Pilgrim. Can I aid you in your quest for knowledge?
I come to learn inner peace, tranquility, and become one with the Chi.
That is a noble quest. But you must have the most serious comitment and give up all worldly attachments.
I am prepared to do that Master...
You'll have to give up your Yu-Gi-Oh cards too.... -------------------- *sigh*
All of them? How about I keep just Dark Magician Girl for cold nights?

 

by webspider
7-16-10
To begin your journey, you must learn to focus your concentration.
No problem. I can do that. I have great focus ----
Good. Now follow me...
-----------
Wow! Where'd he go? --------------------------- I must have pretty amazing focus if I didn't see him leave... -------------------- Either that or I just had a seizure...

 

by webspider
7-18-10
And you thought they were just for decoration...
Meditation will allow you to look deep within, find your center, bring it forward and be one with its strength...
How will I know if I am success at that?
You will feel at peace, surrounded by a multitude of grand colours, with yourself at the center of it all...
Oka------------------ --------------------- -------------------- Ungh. Sorry, I think I seizured again, Master.
I think the sun is causing the dots on your head to flash in my eyes....

 

by webspider
7-25-10
Oh, Micah! I'm so afraid! I heard something downstairs. I'll go down to the kitchen, but you follow if you hear me screaming.
Yeah.... Not gonna happen.
But this is the big climactic ending of the scary movie!
I agree. It is.
Demon says kill Micah now...
It's the moment when the audience realizes that they've just been duped into paying $8 to see a movie that had a budget of $15,000. Um.. Didn't they do that in Blair Witch too?

 

by webspider
7-25-10
*rattle rattle rattle*
*smash crash* Oh, Micah! Help me! It's the demon! It's got me!
Oh? That same demon that I've been pissing off the entire movie by taunting it? That same demon that would rip my throat out if given half an opportunity?
Micah! HELP ME!
Yeah, I'm thinking about it...

 

by webspider
7-28-10
Meanwhile in the Receiving Department...
Hey Butch. The UPS guy just delivered that replacement axe for the fire closet. Would you mind running it up to Cathy over in Facilities Management?
I bet she'll be surprised to see it here today. We weren't expecting it until tomorrow's delivery.
Cathy, I've got a surprise for you!
AAAAAAH!

 

Butch's Daily Horrorscope
"You have a great mind for business. But it will start to rot if you continue to keep it in your desk drawer..."
by webspider, 7-28-10

 

by webspider
7-31-10
Conference Planning...
Okay, we've got everything planned for the conference, except the opening keynote. Who hasn't volunteered yet?
Well, there's Butch. But he's not really much of a public speaker...
What's the big deal? Anyone stand up in front of a mic and say a few words...
If you say so...
..but have you actually met Butch before...

 

by webspider
7-31-10
Shaping the minds of youth for more than 40 years...
How to get to Sesame Street... How to get to Sesame Street....
Hey Emo! What should we do today?
Well, we can start by killing off all the rest of the muppet cast so that I'm the only one left...
Remember kids. If your parents won't buy you my stuff, they don't love you so you are okay to kill them in their sleep...

 

by webspider
8-03-10
It's a goth thing...
I often wonder if my life has any meaning...
Nope...
Would anyone really miss me if I were to take one more step, falling off this building's ledge?
Not really...
Butch, if you grab my ankle one more time, I'll be wearing your two "best friends" as my earrings...
Aww.. You're no fun anymore...

 

by webspider
8-05-10
If Cathy Guisewite really felt for her fans, we'd have a "Cathy" strip that might go something like this...
Irving: ============= That was really mean of Cathy to bury my new iPhone4 in the sand. It'll take me all night to search for it.
Oh this is getting hopeless... There's no sign of it anywhere... *sob*
Oh, well. We can dream...
Hey! I found my iPhone!
Cathy: ============== Oh Honey. I'm sorry about burying your iPhone. OHMYGOD! Irving! You're bleeding! And even worse, you've got holes in that beautiful new sweater that I bought at FULL PRICE!

 

by webspider
8-19-10
Hi Butch. Just checking in. Ya, I'll meet you in the boardroom tomorrow 8:00 am sharp!
Thursday Afternoon 2:00PM
Hey Dude! Sorry about missing our meet time, but I got tied up. And I couldn't hear my phone because it was on vibrate, and couldn't feel it because it was in my briefcase...
He died from what???
Yeah! This must be some new kinda fetish. After all, I've heard rumours about gerbils, but a cell phone on vibrate.. Wow!

 

by webspider
8-29-10
Meanwhile, on Planet X...
Captain's Log: We've been marooned on a primative planet with no hope of rescue...
All there is left to do now is get jiggy with the female population while the local monster eats our last red-shirt...
WTF?
Security Officer's Log: Captain eaten by local monster. Nothing to do now but change my shirt and get jiggy with the female population...

 

by webspider
8-29-10
A few minutes later on Planet X...
WTF! Don't sneak up on me like that!
You may put down your phaser, Ensign. I do not detect the presence of any dangerous flora or fawna in this vicinity....
...Strangely, I am not detecting the presence of the Captain, either. I hope nothing has happened to him...
I ADMIT IT! IT DID IT! I KILLED THE CAPTAIN! AND I'LL KILL ANYONE ELSE WHO TRIES TO KILL ME!
Chill. I never liked the little pervert anyway...

 

by webspider
8-29-10
Still on Planet X...
Listen. I don't want any trouble here...
Agreed. Our primary goal should be to find a way out of our predicament.
I've rigged this tricorder unit with some of the shuttle's transporter components. It should be enough to get us off planet...
Great! Give it here!
Beaming into empty space - not logical. I guess all there is to do now is get jiggy with this planet's female population...

 

by webspider
8-29-10
Still on Planet X...
Would you look at that, Nigel? Those strange humanoids are killing themselves off... and for looks like the strangest reason...
They are a strange uncivilized breed of creature...
You'd never catch our kind behaving in such a vulgar manner...
Indeed.
By the way, Nigel. I took the last cup of coffee. I do hope you don't mind...
Must kill coffee thief!

 

Mmm. I wonder what's for dessert...
Hi! I'm Chef Tako the Octopus! And today, we'll be preparing vegetable stew!
by webspider, 8-30-10

 

The weather for tonight is cloudy with a 70% chance of nuclear fallout... Now back to you, Tom...
by webspider, 8-30-10

 

In retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea for Carlos to brag about beating his meat...
Want some more tough guy??
by webspider, 8-30-10

Showing page 4.

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