All comics by Benco

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by Benco
11-10-02
i wonder if gay people ever just like wake up sometimes and think to themselves "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?"

 

by Benco
11-13-02
DID MONO DIE OR SOMETHING? HE WAS DOING THAT SHITTY CONTEST NO ONE CARED ABOUT AND THEN IT NEVER FINISHED
Mono was great. I hope him and his fat wife are happy, having gotten married without even living together first
"(mono) hi its me momo everyone loves me hey i'm so great here's my BIG BUSTIN BARREL of gay shit hey everyone pay attention to me plz uh zzt sequels is soon wtf plz guys love me"
SOME GUY ON MY FLOORS PARENTS GOT MARRIED WHEN THEY WERE 20
Your floor has parents?
THE ONLY REASON I'D EVER GET MARRIED IS SO I COULD BE A WIDOW

 

by Benco
11-13-02
MAN, I LOVE YOU GUYS. I SUPPOSE THAT MAKES ME BI!
NO, JUST GAY

 

by Benco
11-16-02
Hulk Hogan's book to be released on Nov. 19th SO GO READ IT SIRS!
I'D RATHER READ HOAGIE FROM DAY OF THE TENTACLE'S BOOK.
I'D RATHER READ THE CONCISE OXFORD DICTIONARY, FROM BEGINNING TO END
I'D RATHER STAPLE CATS TO MY FACE AND BUNGEE JUMP INTO AN ACTIVE VOLCANO USING MY LARGE INTESTINE AS THE CORD
PROJECT THAT'S NOT A BOOK!
I'D RATHER READ "ZEN AND THE ART OF STAPLING CATS TO YOUR FACE AND BUNGEE JUMPING INTO AN ACTIVE VOLCANO USING YOUR LARGE INTESTINE AS THE CORD" BY AL GORE

 

by Benco
11-16-02
What's "hockey"?
REALLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HOCKEY IS?
It's like boxing, except it's on ice and there are teams

 

by Benco
11-16-02
Select [128kbps 44100Hz 02:32min] Mary-kate & Ashley Olsen & Fri - Hugged by you
THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF YOU GODEDRP
THANKS!
STRANGELY, SO DOES THIS ONE
Select [128kbps 44100Hz 01:02min] Anal Cunt - Your kid commited suicide because you suck

 

by Benco
11-16-02
I hate parents who add letters to their kids' otherwise normal names
Or change them
"JESSICKA"
"TIPHANIE"
Do you really think that your child will be unique or sparkling because of the confusion associated with their name?
All you're doing is setting her up for a lifetime of spelling out her name to strangers

 

by Benco
11-16-02
I mean "French" kissing is pretty much regular kissing these days...
FUNK SOON FELCHING WILL BE THE NEW KISSING
KIDS WILL FELCH THEIR MOTHERS GOODNIGHT AND ITLL BE LIKE "COME ON JIMMY, FELCH YOUR GRANDMA! ITS CHRISTMAS!"
And in a grave somewhere in Austria, Freud drills right out of his coffin and into the centre of the Earth...

 

by Benco
11-16-02
HEY DO YOU RECKON TYRANNY HAS THAT DISORDER WHERE YOU ARE LIKE 8000 PEOPLE AT ONCE
"STUPID IDIOT DISORDER"?
NADIR YES THAT'S IT
YEAH I'D SAY HE HAS THAT

 

by Benco
11-16-02
IN ENGLAND DO YOU SEE "FAG" AND THINK CIGARETTE, OR DO YOU THINK HOMOSEXUAL?
I THINK IF I WAS ENGLISH AND I SAW "FAG" I'D THINK CIGARETTE
I THINK OF A PURPLE CIGARETTE WITH UNUSUALLY GOOD TASTE AND A TALENT FOR DRAMA

 

by Benco
11-16-02
DONUT MASTURBATION IS LIKE SEX IN THE SAME WAY A CYRIX 333 WITH A VODOO 3 AND A 2 GIG WD HARD DRIVE IS LIKE AN ATHLON 2600 WITH 1TB MAXTOR RAID ARRAY AND A MODERN NVIDIA GRAPHICS CARD
Fish, could you make sex any less sexy?
FUNK IM TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT TO DONUT
UHH FISH I DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND PUMP
DONUT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU HANG UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE DAMN CEILING. IF MASTURBATION WAS LIKE SEX WHAT THE HELL WOULD GIRLS BE FOR
Masturbating over.

 

by Benco
11-18-02
Does anyone know what 7a is a reference to in Wells' literary quiz thread?
FUNK THAT'S CHEATING
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE THE INTERNET TO FIND THE ANSWERS
oh wait

 

by Benco
11-18-02
"This is for all you LJ and LOSTArtists wh0res out there. XD Feel free to post anything related to the TLA website. And since we ARE a community of artists, you are more than welcome to post your art"
Why do people feel the need to place XD in between sentences?
It reduces anything you say to blithering idiocy.
"Today scientists describe the universe in terms of two basic partial theories - the general theory of relativity and quantum mechanics.
XD
The general theory of relativity describes the force of gravity on scales from only a few miles to the size of the observable universe."

 

by Benco
11-18-02
I just found the funniest quote of me ever
"*** Topic is ' I LIKE CREED THEY ARE A GOOD CHRISTIAN ROCK BAND PARADOX!' *** Set by elurker on Sun Mar 03 19:03:43"
"(Lifesummer) CREED IS A CHRISTIAN ROCK BAND? WHAT IS THIS GUY SMOKING. I WANT SOME"
"[19:52] *** You were kicked by elurker (LIKE A FOOTBALL)"
that was my last session at #mis considerably longer ago back in the StratNet days
DON'T YOU HAVE SOME STAIRS TO FALL DOWN OR SOMETHING

 

by Benco
11-18-02
FREE TIBET!
WITH PURCHASE OF TIBET OF EQUAL OR GREATER VALUE

 

by Benco
11-23-02
BRITONS AND NON-BRITONS PLEASE, LET US ALL GATHER TOGETHER
NON BRITONS OVER IN THAT CORNER THERE.

 

by Benco
11-23-02
I LIKE IT WHEN ZAMBONYE PUNCHED THE NIGGERS IN THE FACE AND THE NIGGERS RAN AWAY
what???
What are you talking about?
I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU PUNCHED THE NIGGERS IN THE FACE AND THE NIGGERS RAN AWAY

 

by Benco
11-26-02
What IS Boston Public?
THE MOST ACTION-PACKED HIGH SCHOOL EVER
EVERYONE ENROLLED AT THAT SCHOOL IS EITHER A HOOKER OR A PARENT OR A TEEN PARENT
YEAH PEOPLE GET PREGNANT LIKE EVERY DAY
THE ONLY SCHOOL WHERE A PERSON CAN GET HIGH, PAST THE TEST AND SCREW THE PRINCIPAL'S WIFE ALL BEFORE LUNCH

 

by Benco
11-28-02
Science gives you the courage
TO DO WHAT?
TRY TO EAT THIS SECOND ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER?
AFTER ALREADY EATING ONE?
I'M KIND OF SERIOUSLY AFRAID TO EAT IT
IT'S APPARENTLY THE MOST FATASSIZING HAMBURGER ON THE ENTIRE FAST FOOD MARKET

 

by Benco
12-02-02
'THE NEW STATESMAN' SUCKS :(
Oh shit, that thing with Rik Mayall? Yeah that sucked.
IT LOOKED AMUSING BUT STUPID AND I PUT IT ON AND IT WASN'T AMUSING AT ALL :(
Well one out of two ain't bad
IN THIS CASE IT IS

 

by Benco
12-02-02
HEY YOU KNOW WHAT'S STUPID? "TOMORROWIND"
CALLING MORROWIND "TOMORROWIND" MAKES NO SENSE. PEOPLE ARE JUST HORRIBLY DESPERATE TO MAKE FUN OF THE NAME
THAT'S THE BEST THEY CAN COME UP WITH AND IT SUCKS
DAGGERFAIL IS MUCH BETTER
HOW ABOUT CALLING IT "ADVENTURES IN BORING FAG COUNTRY"
THAT'S GOOD TOO

 

by Benco
12-04-02
How much are decent modems these days?
a good modem will cost you at least a pound of flesh cut from the heart
OR NINETEEN USD. DEPENDS.
HMM
NADIR CAN AFFORD TO LOSE SEVERAL POUNDS OF FLESH FROM ANYWHERE IN HIS BODY BUT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU, I RECOMMEND MONEY

 

by Benco
12-04-02
YOU'RE THE CLOSEST THING WE HAVE TO SANTA AND YOU'RE LEAVING THIS CHRISTMAS
THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER
DONUT SHUT UP AND SUCK ME OFF
I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FIND IT
NOT THAT IT'S SMALL, BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS SO BIG
SO SO BIG

 

by Benco
12-04-02
HEY YOU GUYS SHOULD I DO DRUGS?
DAVE2 DEFINITELY! THE NEWEST DRUGS ARE AWESOME. I RECOMMEND XTREMETASY AND OVERCOCAINE AND ALSO SUPERHEROIN AND LIGHTSPEED
AND NINJAKETAMINE
METAMETAMPHETAMINE TOO
MEGAMPHETAMINE
AND ASPIRIN

 

by Benco
12-04-02
THAT WASN'T THAT FUNNY YOU GUYS. I MEAN I JUST WANT TO KNOW SHOULD I? SHOULDN'T I?
YES DAVE. YES YOU SHOULD.
OK THANKS RYO I'LL GO OUTSIDE AND SEE WHO IS SELLING DRUGS
I ONLY HAVE LIKE 3 BUCKS

 

by Benco
12-11-02
WOW
THE INTERNET WASN'T CONNECTING SO I YELLED AND PRAYED TO GOD THEN IT CONNECTED
I THINK THAT GOD EXISTS NOW!!
WAIT A SECOND
I SAID "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT"
IT'S A COINCIDENCE THEN :(

 

by Benco
12-20-02
I just watched the Tomb Raider film
WOW YOU WONT WATCH HARRY POTTER BUT YOU WILL WATCH TOMB RAIDER
UHH I watched Harry Potter the night it opened, spastic
OH
BESIDES YOU JUST USED THE WORD 'SPASTIC' WHICH NEGATES ANY POINT YOU MAKE ON ACCOUNT OF BEING RETARDED

 

by Benco
12-20-02
GODEDRP YOU SUCK. YOU SUCK AND YOU'RE DUMB.
YOU SUCK AND YOU'RE DUMB AND YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF.
ZAMROS YOU ARE ANNOYING. YOU ARE ANNOYING AND YOU'RE JOKES ARE OLD
I AM JOKES ARE OLD? OH NO!
I AM JOKES ARE OLD :(

 

by Benco
12-20-02
Hey, do you remember the time that...
BIG FAT NOTHING
zamros DOESN'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, HE HAS CHANNUKAH
Or once, when...
WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LIVING
:O what channel
And I'll never forget the time when...

 

by Benco
12-20-02
OH MAN KARRDE, THERE'S A NEW LITTLE GIRL KARAOKE MACHINE OUT NOW! IT'S BARBIE!
KLAUS BARBIE, THE BUTCHER OF BERLIN?
YES.
WHAT A KAREOKE THAT WOULD BE

 

by Benco
12-20-02
IT COULD HAVE GOOSE STEP GOOSE STEP REVOLUTION
HEIL HEIL HARMONY
BUST A JEW
ZYKLON-B EATMANIA
SPACE CHANNEL FUHRER

 

by Benco
12-20-02
I'M STONED AND STUDYING FOR THE GCSE. IT SEEMS LIKE A JOKE.
Ryo, welcome to reality. Everything they tell you is a lie, and I am one of them. So disregard everything I say, including this.
FUNK I ALREADY KNEW THIS
I HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING TO YOU FOR THE PAST YEAR AND A HALF

 

by Benco
12-20-02
I'M STUDYING ENGLISH AT THE MOMENT
PAT CADIGAN BOUGHT IT FOR ME. IT'S DESPICABLY EASY
"INSERT THE APOSTROPHES IN THE CORRECT PARTS OF THIS PARAGRAPH!"
That question is much harder when you're studying Klingon.

 

by Benco
12-20-02
oh jesus funk this gcse is ridiculously easy because one of the questions in my study guide is:
"when the text on a printed page is sectioned into narrow bars running from top to bottom , the strips of text are called a _____________"
:D
i think the answer is pronoun, but i don't know!
Nice grammar. "when the text on a printed page is sectioned into narrow bars running from top to bottom , the strips of text are called a COLUMNS"

 

by Benco
12-20-02
OH MY LORD FUNK
"is this headline formal or informal: Record Number of Puppies Born in a Dog's Litter!"
I think the answer is "incomprehensible"
OR MAYBE JUST GAY
Or maybe just-- yeah.

 

by Benco
12-20-02
Anyway your mother is pseudo-American. Why is she trying to help you with English, of all languages?
SHE THINKS SHE'S THE QUEEN
WHAT WITH HER BEING THE QUEEN OF CYBERPUNK
SHE THINKS SHE MUST HAVE ENGLISH SOMEWHERE IN THERE

 

by Benco
12-29-02
Chris: Boy, I do like smoking the sweet cheba!
Suddenly Jill burst through the window.
Jill: Don't smoke that, Chris! It's zombie weed!
Then chris turns into a zomby
zombie chris: BUIBUIUIBHUBUHHH
just then super xzombie redn eck sailor ate a cheesepocket

 

by Benco
12-29-02
I want a flag that says 'ANGST' on it.
I WANT A FLAG THAT SAYS 'ADV' ON IT
I WANT A FLAG THAT SAYS 'FLAG' ON IT
I WANT A FLAG.
I WANT A FAG
I WANT SOME HOT STUFF BABY THIS EVENING GOTTA GET SOME HOT STUFF BABY TONIGHT

 

by Benco
12-30-02
LETS LIST AN OVERVIEW OF VARIOUS IRONIC THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN TONIGHT:
ONE OF MY OBSESSIVE FEMALE FRIENDS MAY SHOW UP, CALLING ANTON MY BOYFRIEND AND SCARING HIM
MY BROTHER MAY SEE ME HOLDING HANDS WITH A GUY
ONE OF MY FRIENDS HAS ALREADY OFFENDED ANTON BUT ANTON DOESN'T KNOW HE IS MY FRIEND SO THAT COULD BE FUN TOO
HAVE SEX WITH HIM
WILL DO!

 

by Benco
12-30-02
Yes, the SI swimsuit issue is media culture, and it's a work of art. I have every one since 1980 (My Father gave me his collection [1980-1996])
I spend some of my time looking at these scantly clad women alone on a beach wishing I was there. But for some reason, no one give up hope that they will be with those women someday.
i prefer 'Sports Illustrated: Heavy, Unattractive Woolen Jumpers and Skirts Edition'

 

by Benco
12-30-02
OMG OMG OMG MMORA'S BABY IS DUE IN A WEEK
Zam are you excited?
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE LINKED-FROM-THE-C:-DRIVE PICTURES
Cross your fingers for a feet-first birth
In a taxi cab
That's on fire.

 

by Benco
12-30-02
GUYS JUST THINK ABOUT THIS:
THE INTELLIGENCE AND BEAUTY OF RICKY AND MMORA COMBINED INTO ONE AND BEING RAISED BY THE TWO
WOW SOUNDS NEAT
I WANT A KID!
TOO BAD

 

by Benco
12-30-02
WHO WANTS TO START AN NC-17 FANFICTION SITE WITH ME? WE WILL DIVIDE THE COST OF THE DOMAIN AND LIVE LIKE KINGS! KINGS!
ME, BUT FAGFICTION IS TAKEN :(
WE MUST THINK OF A DIFFERENT NAME. WE COULD MAKE FRANFICTION AND HAVE A RULE THAT ALL THE STORIES HAVE TO HAVE A CHARACTER NAMED FRAN
FLANFICTION
CATSCANFICTION, THE MOST DEPRESSING OF ALL FICS
SPONSORED BY MAX W HOOBER

 

by Benco
12-30-02
LEMMER
WHAT DID I DO NOW
HOST OUR NC-17 FANFICTION SITE AND DO IT NOW
OK
GUYS I DYED MY HAIR PURPLE EARLIER TODAY AND I LOOK LIKE A WOMAN AGAIN. I'M SO PROUD.
RYO HOW IS THAT MAKING THIS SITE POSSIBLE MAY I ASK? HOW?

 

by Benco
12-30-02
my crotch smells like mashed potatoes and shampoo!
it's fucking horrible!
NO ONE'S GONNA WANT TO BE AROUND ME WHEN MY CROTCH SMELLS LIKE A PETTING ZOO!
I GET THE FEELING YOU DON'T CARE LEMMER
NONDE I DIDN'T AT FIRST BUT NOW I KIND OF DO
BECAUSE IF I LEAN OVER JUST A BIT I START GAGGING

 

by Benco
1-03-03
== in C means very euqal.
'VERY EQUAL' :D
=== IS REALLY REALLY EQUAL
sprintf( blah, "%s is a $s.", "He", "faggot");
Can we contextualize that "He" is equivalent to Marklu, to make it a true statement?
SIARIN ITS NOT JUST TRUE, ITS VERY TRUE

 

by Benco
1-03-03
WHO THE FUCK USES C ANYMORE
FAGS
FAGS
I do.

 

by Benco
1-03-03
#include [IOSTREAM.H]
void main()
{ if (1 == 1) cout [[ "MARK LU IS A HOMO" [[ endl; }
That prints on the screen "MARK LU IS A HOMO"

 

by Benco
1-03-03
I have a grudge against Japan, I wish to take them over.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A DIRTY JAP HATING CHINK A DINK
I BET YOU WENT TO JAPAN ONCE AND YOU WERE ALL "WING WONG CHING FONG BING BONG" AND YOU GOT PUNCHED FOR BEING STUPID
Actually, Japanese people are no different people than Chinese people, they split apart from the chinese people.
MARKLU YOU'RE AN IDIOT

 

by Benco
1-03-03
JAPAN IS BETTER THAN CHINA
It's the country of the worst anime.
MARK, WHATS THE COUNTRY OF THE BEST ANIME
The best: USA.
PLZ NAME THE BEST ANIME FROM THE US PLZ
El simpson s

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