All comics by Boritom

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by Boritom
7-11-03
What job or profession would you least like to attempt?
Quadraplegic jizz mopper.
And finally, if Heaven exists, what's the first thing you'd like to hear God say to you when you get there?
"Have no fear, there ain't a chance in Hell James Lipton will ever make it here!"

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
Blinky, I've got a bad feeling about this!
1384 Westfark Dr., right? That's the address they gave me for Suzie Henderson's 5th birthday party.
I'm telling you, I think it's a TRAP!
Thank you, Admiral Akbar, I'll take it under advisement!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
Blinky may be too stupid to see that something fishy is going on here, but not me!
I'm not going to let something creepy sneak up on me and do nasty things to me!
No siree-Bob... I'm too smart for That!
Prepare to become part of a cliche, Bozo!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
Yeeaaahhhggghh! An evil Robot!
TOBOR CORNH...
Evil??? Gee, TOBOR never thought of himself as evil. TOBOR sad now.
I'm sorry, TOBOR... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Yeah, well you did! If TOBOR's eye-sockets rust out, it's YOUR Fault!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
I'm sorry, TOBOR... Please, don't cry. I didn't mean to call you evil.
~sob~ TOBOR's fragile ego shattered. TOBOR going to go dig huge hole, jump in hole, pull dirt over self and wait for batteries to run out! ~sob~
Please, TOBOR... I'm really sorry! If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just name it!
~sniff~ Really?
Why, sure TOBOR. Anything!
Okay... BEND OVER AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN, FLOPPY-SHOES!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
oooowwww... my ass!
That'll teach you to be mean to TOBOR!
ohhhh god... sooo much blood... ~gurgle~
Yeah, you shoulda seen youself, floppin' around like a quadraplegic on a giant hotplate!
I was right the first time... You ARE evil!
Wow... sounds like somebody's hungry for more of TOBOR's patented Bloody Butt Lovin'!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW!!!
Oh Goody! I could use a good reaming!
Did you just say "Oh Goody?"
Hell yeah, sonny! It's been ages since I got some lovin' up the old poop chute!
TOBOR not in mood now!
Aww, SHIT!

 

by Boritom
7-14-03
An actual conversation...
Okay... let's see... you cut your hair?
Nope.
You're wearing colored contacts? You got a tan? You started taking Bloussant?
Nope, nope, and nope!
More to come...
You sure about that last one? Your breasts do feel bigger.
Maybe your hands are getting smaller.

 

by Boritom
7-14-03
I can't believe you did not notice this...
Notice WHAT? You still haven't told me what I'm supposed to have noticed!
I got my navel pierced!
Uhhh... Okay...
~sniff~ and you didn't even fucking notice...
You haven't taken your shirt off yet, and that's not usually the first place I grope anyways!

 

by Boritom
7-14-03
I dunno... I think I may drop off from Stripcreator for a while.
It's been lots of fun, and all, but I need to get busy on my actual comic pretty soon.
Besides... most of my comics here have sucked... I keep resorting to cheap gimmicks to get a laugh.
The TOBOR thing is really getting old for me fast, and I'm a relative newbie here!
Sorry, pal... I gotta let ya go.
TOBOR no cornhole for Boritom no more? TOBOR cry now!

 

by Boritom
7-14-03
You're kidding! Adam isn't going to do any more strips here for a while?
That's what he said. He's tired of doing stips that don't get noticed on StripCreator, and is going to restart his old strip again.
www.boritom.com?
Yup, that's the one.
So, instead of doing strips that don't get noticed here for free...
He'll be paying for a domain name and a server host for his own site where his strips won't get noticed!

 

by Boritom
7-14-03
Suki... We can't let this happen!
I know, he's treated us so well compaired to some of the other perverts on this site!
We have to do something to win him back!
I agree... It's time to pull out all the stops!
Now On Sale! Sucky-sucky $2.50!
TOBOR can cornhole us any time he wants!

 

by Boritom
7-14-03
My son, nothing can be accomplished by quitting the StripCreator.
Holy shit! It's Jesus!
Yes, my son... I have come to tell you that you need to stimulate your creative abilities. True, no all of your comics are funny, but...
Holy Shit! It's Jesus!
Now I know why Russel Crowe punches people!
Holy SHIT! It's Jesus!

 

by Boritom
7-16-03
Thursday, 10:14am
Saturday, 8:22pm
Monday, 3:45pm
Larry... are you dead?

 

by Boritom
7-16-03
Memorial day, 1972
Bastille Day, 1987
Shatner Day, 2306

 

by Boritom
7-16-03
People try...
Me love you long time...
But no matter what...
It doubles as a can opener... Allow me to demonstrate!
Dead Flea won't answer...
Holy Shit! It's Jesus!

 

by Boritom
7-16-03
Switzerland
Paris
Burbank

 

by Boritom
7-16-03
What... is you favorite word?
Ummm... Okay. What... is your least favorite word?
What... the fuck am I doing, interviewing a bug corpse?

 

by Boritom
7-16-03
TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW!!!
~flip~
Accomodating, isn't he?

 

by Boritom
7-16-03
As night falls upon our hero, we ponder what might have been, had his life not been cut so disaterously short.
Might this single, insignificant flea be capable of great thought? Could he have been an anomaly among fleas, brilliant in the methods of science and literature?
Could he have been a poet, a philosopher, a world leader? We shall never know, for this flea is dead! Alas, with only one final thought to impart...
Death sucks!

 

by Boritom
7-16-03
We hate you!
Yes... with all our hearts!
Is this true, girls?
Well, she does, anyway.
Yeah, Emiko's too much of a fucking pussy to dish out the total hate vibe!

 

by Boritom
7-17-03
It has sorrowfully come to our attention that there are a lot of racists on StripCreator these days.
Yes. We have been racially profiled a lot lately. Inaccurately, I might add.
It's true. Suki has been used to portray Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans... It is really disturbing!
Especially since all you white fuckers can't even tell I'm actually Arab!
Arab? Really?
Damn straight, Infidel!

 

by Boritom
7-17-03
You know, the very topic of racism fills me with an unreasoning anger. It's almost like the media wants to keep us angry at white people!
I know... I was watching MSNBC, about a shooting in a school, and even though there weren't any people of color involved, the race card came up.
And if that's not bad enough, everyone has to classify tv shows as a black show or a white show.
Yeah... and then they layer beyond that... Cosby show was supposedly too upscale to reflect black culture, while Living Single made us look like idiots!
You know, the whole thing is absolutely ludicrous! I personally think it's a sad commentary on our society today.
Ain't that the shizzle?

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
1337!!! THIS COMIK IS TEH R0X0R!
GEE, LOL I THINK COMICS WHERE EVERYTHING IS CAPPED AND SHIT ARE ROTF LOL IS TEH FUNNY!
YES LOL ROTF! AND ITS REALLY FUNNY WHEN YOU THROW IN RACIAL EPITHETS THEN CALL OTHER PEOPLE RACISTS!
LSHMRJP!
OMG, LOL!
ROTFLMAO!
TRANSLATION: Laughing so hard my rectum just prolapsed!
If anyone laughed at those last two panels, they are in serious need of psychotherapy, don't you think?
Oh my God, laugh out loud, rolling on the floor laughing my ass off! ...err, I mean, Yes!

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
Okay, guys... I need ideas for making my comics on Strip creator better.
How about making them suck less.
I think I need to be redrawn... with nice perky little titties!
I need a pair of slippers and a jock strap.
...are we going to have sex tonight or not?
11101001 0110110010 01101010101001 010101001011 = TOBOR NEED TO CORNHOLE SOMEONE NOW!

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
Welcome to the show, Citizen Shatner... Do you prefer your soup watery, or creamy?
God, this show is so funny! I love Space Ghost - Coast to Coast!
It's stupid. They take bad drawings from other people's cartoons, and make them say lame shit. It's not funny. It's just plain annoying!
Zorak! Quit trying to eat Mr. Shatner's head!
...What?

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
RARRRRR! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW!!!
GROOOOWWWL! GROBYC SKULLFUCK YOU NOW!!!!
Papa??
My SON!

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
Eeeee... What do you want with us, you evil demon from Hell?
I have come to devour your souls, little girls!
Ummm... I'm not a girl. I'm a 43 year old midget transvestite.
Eeeww! That's sick... and to think I let you... and then you kept my... and put your face in my... Ewww!!!
No shit, man, that's way sick! I think I'm gonna hurl!
A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do!

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
Holy shit, Yuki, or whoever you are... Were you ever going to tell me?
Well, yeah... eventually.
Ugh... and you mean you've got a penis, and everything?
I, uhhh... I'm afraid so, Emiko.
Ummm... can I... uh, can I see it?
I guess I won't be needing that Rohypnol after all....

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
I told you there was something weird about her... err, Him!
Emiko, I am sooo sorry! Honestly, if I had known Yuki was really a transvestite midget peadophile, I never would have paired you two up!
Seriously, Emiko... say the word, and she, er, He is outta here!
Well... let's not be so hasty... He is a pretty good fuck!
Dear Lord, why do I even Bother?

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
I suppose you're wondering where Yuki is...
Well, to be honest, so am I.
I need some serious deep dickin'!

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
Hi, Linda... Adam's not here.
Uhh... okay... um, who are you?
I'm his roommate, Justin.
Oh, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting he had a roommate. I don't think we've ever really met.
Yeah... he's pretty careful about that, usually. Wanna see my dead goldfish collection?
Errr... some other time, perhaps...

 

by Boritom
7-18-03
I can see why Adam digs you...
Really? That's very sweet of you.
Yeah...
You have nice tits, and you don't smell like french fries.

 

by Boritom
7-21-03
What?
What are you staring at?
Fuck off... we're not in the mood right now!
Yeah... go find someone else to "show you the funny!"

 

by Boritom
7-21-03
Capricious youth... nectar of innocence.
Nothing is funny today.
Yup... Kinda noticed that.
It's like a worldwide Lull!
Treadin' water, at best.
So... what do you feel like doing now?
Savagely murdering Jay Leno.

 

by Boritom
7-21-03
Jeez...
What?
~sigh~
What is it, Emiko?
Jennifer Lopez is such a fucking BITCH!
I know... you told me already!

 

by Boritom
7-21-03
Damn... I really need to fart!
How bad?
REALLY Bad!
Wise precaution!

 

by Boritom
7-21-03
Mark this day on your calendar!
Tobor brush lazily up against your ass for a moment now.
What? No cornholing?
Tobor bored and tired. Cornholing too much effort.
Aww, come on, Tobor... Here, I'll even make it easy for ya... Just slip off my pants and run me through, ya hot hunk of cybernetic lust, ya!
You also have quite possibly the most repugnant ass I've seen in years.
Oh... well, that's just the syphillis scars... Cain't do much about them...

 

by Boritom
7-21-03
Wanna play a game?
Not really.
Wanna go sledding?
Not in the least!
Wanna see my penis?
Dude... I never should have put that fucking hat on Frosty's fucking head!

 

by Boritom
7-21-03
FROSTY CORNHOLE YOU NOW!!!
~snicker~
What?
He he he... You're fucking kidding me, right?

 

by Boritom
7-21-03
What the...?
RAWRRR! FROSTY CORNHOLE YOU NOW!!!
You might have a bit of a problem with that.
Oh, really? What makes you say that?
You ain't got no genetalia, Fucknut!
Shit... I knew my nether regions weren't tingling enough!

 

by Boritom
7-22-03
RARRR! FROSTY CORNHOLE YOU NOW! RARRRRR!!!
Nope.
Waddya mean, "Nope?" I'M AN ANGRY CORNHOLING SNOWMAN! SUBMIT YOUR ASS TO ME NOW!
Don't think so.
RARRRRR! YOU MAKE FROSTY ANGRY!
Big fuckin' deal... The sun just came out, and I figure you got 10 minutes to live, shit for brains!

 

by Boritom
7-23-03
D00D, YUR COMIKS ARE TEH SUCK!
I'm sorry you feel that way. What about my comics do you specifically object to?
UR A FAG LOLOLOL AND UR COMIKS ARE TEH SUK!
Okay, you said that before, but what I'm asking is, what don't you like about them?
TEH PARTZ WHERE THEY R TEH SUX0R!
Why the fuck am I giving a shit what this douchebag thinks?

 

by Boritom
7-23-03
Squirrel, we've been friends for a long time, right?
Right.
If I admit something horrible to you, would you still be my friend?
Most probably, yes.
I'm that annoying creep in the forums that keeps telling people that their comic are TEH SUK!
Well, shit... that could be just about Anybody!

 

by Boritom
7-23-03
My dear, sweet lady! I cannot allow you to cross this dangerous street alone...
Git away from me, you weirdo... You're probably some perverted masher who wants to lick my vagina!
Why, No, of course not! I would never violate you that way!
Then, you really serve no earthly purpose whatsoever, eh?

 

by Boritom
7-23-03
Welcome to doublemeat Palace. Waddya want?
Cock!
YOU Again! Fuck off.
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock!
This job is perfect for me!

 

by Boritom
7-23-03
Chicken!
Pussy!
Mindless clone!
Toucher of swollen baboon butts!
Depraved, blood-freezing hysterical mass of warbling inanity.
Shut up before I rubber stamp "Tedious Gimp. Keep clear!" on your sloped, greasy forehead!

 

by Boritom
7-23-03
Stop Now!
I gotta go poo!
Me too!
I'm fucking warning you, asshole! Quit reading this fucking comic!
If we both go poo together, we can smell eachother's poo and try to guess what the other had for dinner!
Wheee... That would be lotsa fun! Where did you get such a cool idea?
I told you, but would you listen? No, you had to be a rebel and go reading this stupid fucking comic anyway! Damn you... Damn you to HELL!
From my evil uncle Bernie!
Bernie's funny... He likes to sniff my panties!

 

by Boritom
7-23-03
...however, I found that if you presoak them in dried Garthok's blood first, they make much better bait for luring in the smeglerks! Then, when they're least expecting it, you set your plasmarator...
Hold it just a minute! You know, all I asked was if you knew a good place to eat around here. That was an hour ago, and now I've inadvertantly digested my symbiote!
Wanna blow job?
meh.

 

by Boritom
7-24-03
Dr. Haughtchyke, TOBOR depressed. I was hoping I could have a session with you.
Okay, TOBOR, but no cornholing!
No... nothing like that... TOBOR missing meaning in his life. I want to know what my purpose here is. TOBOR need truth in life!
Well, Tobor, that's really more of a theoligical issue, than it is psychological. Have you considered talking to a priest?
Where you think TOBOR learned all this cornholing bullshit in the first place?

Showing page 5.

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