All comics by RedfeatheR

Profile

 

by RedfeatheR
1-15-06
You know the thing about little girls...
Little girls?
Yeah. Like little underage gir-- You know what I mean... Anyways, it's like... You can only go second-knukle deep in them, but they can go, like, elbow deep in you.
It's fuckin' bullshit
Yeah it's the damndest thing

 

by RedfeatheR
1-15-06
Have you ever had a wet dream?
What, like... have I ejaculated in my sleep?
yeah
Is that what you're asking?
yeah
yeah

 

by RedfeatheR
1-15-06
Whatcha drinking?
It's-- Well accually it's a... Cinnamon Dolce Latte... Want a sip?
No, no. No thanks
Yeah?
Nah
So how's that kid you're fucking?

 

by RedfeatheR
1-15-06
You know Silence is the secret of comedy. Observe
That wasn't really... funny at all. It wasn't anything
No, no, no. I was talking more along the lines of, like, the silence of me fucking your dead Mother

 

by RedfeatheR
1-15-06
Whatcha thinking about?
hm?
What... What.. are you... What are you th--
Calm down you bumbling fuck... and talk to me
Want me to tell you what I'm thinking?

 

by RedfeatheR
1-15-06
I'm not doing this anymore
Doing What?
I'm not..doing this anymore
Doing what?
This THIS shit right here! Talking about... SHIT!!! all day fucking long! And and and and, like, Fucking DO something with my, fucking... LIFE!!! I mean CHRIST! I don'-- I don't... I
Don't what?

 

by RedfeatheR
1-16-06
Do you ever--
Play with my balls when I'm talking to you? Yes.
I was going to say, "Do you ever stop playing with your balls when you talk to me"
Then I'm changeing my answer

 

by RedfeatheR
1-16-06
My parents are getting a divorce
Yeah?
Yeah. It really sucks man. I'll never have my family under one roof again. 23 years down the drain... I'm so fucking sad
But you get, like, double the Christmas and birthday presents from now on. That's gonna kick ass
I'll take it from the hairs on the back of your neck that you are just now realizing this.

 

by RedfeatheR
1-16-06
What are you staring at?
Your goatee. I've never understood them
What? My goatee?
Not yours in particular. All of them. I never understood why one would purposefully grow hair to surround the mouth. There should be only one hair surrounded orifice. Your asshole.
But then again your breath does smell like shit

 

by RedfeatheR
1-16-06
Delivered 28 August 1963 during Martin Luther King's, across town at the Robert E. Lee Memorial, Arlington, Virginia
I have a dream
Of a white Christmas

 

by RedfeatheR
1-16-06
RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG
RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG
*sniff* Ee's neber gunna cahwl
RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNGGGG

 

by RedfeatheR
2-06-06
THE WORLD IS GOING TO END IN 30 DAYS!!! HOLY SHIT SARA!
IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED! GOD'S GONNA SMITE THE SHIT OUT OF US
I'LL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN'S LEG!! I'LL NEVER PISS ON ANOTHER CARPET
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! GOD SAVE US ALL! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO SARA!? SARA?! SARA I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!
No mow beanut budder foe you buppy

 

by RedfeatheR
2-06-06
The world is ending and everthing so I'm just gonna put this out there... ...wow I thought this'd be easier to write... but it's not...
...I know I haven't been a women for long now... ...and I'm still legally your brother and all... but I have been thinking about asking a male family member this for a long time... ...so here it is...
...do you think Uncle Randy's phone number is the same now as it was back when he was molesting you?

 

by RedfeatheR
2-06-06
Jeez... kinda spooky... I've never done this before...
I've never had sex in a graveyard either, but with the world ending and all...
No... I've done the graveyard thing before...
I've just never had sex with a fat ugly chick before

 

by RedfeatheR
2-13-06
Can one spontaneously change race?
What? No
Cos I think I was black once
You prolly just had a boner

 

by RedfeatheR
2-13-06
... so I punched her in the stomach and her fetus fell out
... and then I picked it up and ate it
The fetus?
Yeahp
Gross. Don't eat off the floor

 

by RedfeatheR
2-13-06
I made a stink
ohgod It smells like dead grandma ovaries
nope, peanut butter

 

by RedfeatheR
2-14-06
Hey Red. What did you do for Valentine's?
I'm glad you asked Lizhard. I'm glad you asked
I got my nuts lubed up for an ultrasound and fondled by two Navy chicks cos I complained about pain in my right testicle... and I'm in the middle of Iraq
Goddamn... Highfive

 

... you sell nuts for a living
You look like an entity that could use some big nuts
One requires many large nuts
by RedfeatheR, 2-14-06

 

by RedfeatheR
3-24-06
Should I buy it
Should I give in to what everone else is doing?
Do I want to buy the new Trojan vibrating cock ring even if just for me?
Jesus Christ, I do

 

I upsidedowned seven sharks
Cod damn
by RedfeatheR, 4-07-06

 

by RedfeatheR
4-17-06
Hey BigFag105, I'm going to have a sensually erotic, nasty fetish filled lesbian lovefest with tender lovemaking, anal dildos, and extreme lesbian bukkake. Would you be our cock?
no

 

by RedfeatheR
4-22-06
Well, you were right to be concerned. There IS something up your ass
So they were all right
The queer thing is that it’s an Emmy. It’s quite remarkable I don't know how--... How did you get an Emm--
Emmys are queer, not remarkable. They can't be both.
I meant tha--
It's science

 

by RedfeatheR
5-14-06
Hey big boy? You know I always had a thing for sssstrachback wetties. But I have a terrible "Gay-dar"
and I have 7 other guys wanting to assrape a brownie. So what is it honey? Gay or strait?
¿qué?
Bingo boyssss!
No soy gay!

 

by RedfeatheR
5-14-06
It's Showtime at the Apollo!!!
shit
Make fun of that craka up front!!!

 

by RedfeatheR
6-01-06
Hi, I 'm Ben Stiller. Some people think I'm just some shitdink, but I'm an actor of many faces
In "Happy Gilmore" I play a overzealous hardass
In "Dodgeball" I play a overzealous hardass
In "Heavyweights" I play a overzealous hardass... I also imitate Tom Cruise
So, see me in Madagascar 2
My most diverse role ever

 

by RedfeatheR
6-17-06
Welcome to McButcher's. What would you like?
To preach the good news of the kingdom of God
*sigh*
to eat...
FUCKIN' seasoned curlieeeees

 

by RedfeatheR
6-24-06
Hey Red! You gonna enter my CC? You won the only two I've ever hosted...
Nah. I don't even have to try apparently
aww... Well that's too bad
Huh? I though you were going to say the CC title just now... hrm... Well, see you man. I get out of the military on the 30th
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!
There it is

 

by RedfeatheR
6-24-06
What the hell is with the rim shot after a joke? Is "BAdum ppiiisshh" suppose to make the joke funny?
...it couldn't be ... My Dad would always say it after beating me

 

by RedfeatheR
6-24-06
Why do you wear nothing but plain white shirts?
I had a shirt with a picture of a soccer-ball on it once... and my Dad kicked me in my stomach
So?
Plain white stirts are cheaper than Pepto-Bismol

 

by RedfeatheR
6-24-06
Did your Dad ever say, "That one didn't count" When you put your hand in the way of a whipping?
I'm a goddamn chicken man
Chickens... don't have fathers who beat the shidoutov them

 

by RedfeatheR
8-06-06
So... let me understand this my son... He had a-...
IT!!!
... had a procedure that made it look like a female's genetalia, but it was in fact a-
Forlorned Pussy Dick
hhrmm... Do not be troubled my son. God has no gender either.

 

by RedfeatheR
8-15-06
Well, hello Finkelman. Aren’t you dead ?
JUJYFRUIT!!!
The correct answer is "Not yet"
SPHINCTER FAILURE! POO-JUICE FLY!!!

 

by RedfeatheR
8-15-06
HELP!!!
HES DISDIS.... COMMINg Dear waNDING GOOhs killing may DOING DIS!!!
What's that smell?

 

by RedfeatheR
8-15-06
Gotcha!!!
SEINFELD! FRIENDS! 24! SURVIVOR! AMERICAN IDOL!
Somehow, standing next to this watercooler that all made sense.

 

by RedfeatheR
8-15-06
*PANT**PANT*
Woah!
*PANT*WEEZ*
What the hell's wrong with you running around like that?
I'LLPET THISCRAB!!!

 

by RedfeatheR
8-15-06
I just got a call from the doctor
Do you have AIDS again?
No, Finkelman is dying or something
Who the shit is Finkelman ?

 

by RedfeatheR
8-15-06
I'm sorry... The crab wounds were too many... your friend didn't make it...
Give it to me strait Doc
umm... Finkelman is dead
Did he have GIJoes?
That many, huh?

 

by RedfeatheR
8-15-06
Good news and sad news...
GOOD NEWS!!!
Finkelman is dead
And the sad news?
No more GI-Joes
OH GOD FINKELMAN WHY!?!

 

by RedfeatheR
8-15-06
It's ok I've got Ninja Turtles to play with
How could you think of Ninja Turtles when out Finkelman is dead?! We need to be thinking about his funeral!!
His funeral was yesterday
HEY! Do you think he's buried with his GI-Joes?!

 

by RedfeatheR
8-23-06
Oh, wait, a yawn is your brain waking you up.
Then why are they contagous?
I dunno, maybe beca--
...I see my dog sexfuck other dogs and then I put my ding-ding in those dog's butts

 

by RedfeatheR
9-10-06
I've been haveing some issues lately Hobbes
Issues? You're coming to me with issues? One day we're exploring and the next you're breaking Rule 1 through 247 of G.R.O.S.S. with Susie. Subsequently ignoring me for years. I hope you DO have issues
Susie and I broke up
Welcome back pal!

 

by RedfeatheR
9-11-06
I've missed you pal!
I'm hungry too!
So many things to tell you. So many adventures to be had. I can't even remember why I stopped talking to you in the first place
I think it was right about the time Mom started giving me Ritali-- OH NO!!! It was the drugs Mom gave me!! I knew she'd poison me one day, Hobbes... Hobbes?
Boy I guess he was hungry

 

by RedfeatheR
9-13-06
I'm thinking about having sex with Dave
But he's a guy
Does he not have an asshole or somthing?

 

by RedfeatheR
9-23-06
I don't believe in weapons
but I believe in being armed to the teeth
Nombre!!!

 

by RedfeatheR
9-23-06
I love Ellen Degeneres
¿Qué?
Yeah, but that has nothing to do with it
Ellen Degeneres hace que desea manosear mi asno con los dedos

 

by RedfeatheR
9-25-06
Zach Braff is a talented actor
Yeah... What? No.
He's so talented that he can say his own last name name with his ass
... who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

 

by RedfeatheR
9-26-06
I'm tired of shoveling shit all day.
The only thing that's fucking worse than shoveling human ass-babies all fucking day long is wh--
When you poot and don't say anthing. Honestly.

 

by RedfeatheR
9-26-06
Damn. Nothing but Wizard on

 

by RedfeatheR
10-01-06
Your pathetic attempts at romance will never work.
Can we just sexfuck then?
What does "sexfuck" mean?
Well... I'd describe it as when you--
Yes

Showing page 5.

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