All comics by count_libido

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by count_libido
5-08-06
In this week's 'Misplaced' Jack meets another figure from his past...
Hello Jack, remember me?
Not really. Guess I'd better have a flashback...
Some time ago...
I found him under a bin lorry. Can you help?
I'm a doctor, not a vet!
One flashback later...
What about now?
How did you get on the island? Wow, this raises more questions than it answers!

 

by count_libido
5-08-06
In this week's Misplaced, Sharon is looking after Wilt's dog...
So Vincent. 48 days huh? How's island life treating you?
Ruff!

 

by count_libido
5-08-06
This week on Misplaced, Sharon and Vincent are bonding...
Say whatcha got there Vince old boy?
It's a nice juicy bit of Boone
Uh, you mean 'bone', don't you?
Nope. 'Boone'. Your brother was buried under that tree, right?

 

by count_libido
5-08-06
Leon - "The Professional!
Who are you?
I am Leon. I am a cleaner.
Cleaner? You mean you're a professional killer! Are you here to kill me?
No. I am a cleaner. Can I interest you in a free sample of Cillit Bang?

 

by count_libido
5-09-06
It's Moderatin' Time!
Ian, some of these off-topic threads are REALLY off-topic! What should we do?
Close the threads down and then relaunch the forum!
You mean..?
Yup - Lock and Load!

 

by count_libido
5-10-06
Misplaced
Look, we need to figure out what these numbers mean.
Right. Read them out again.
"5, 13, 800, 86 and 18" what could they mean?
Well, if you hold the paper upside down, they spell 'big boobies'!

 

by count_libido
5-10-06
The Misplaced guys are down the hatch...
So, every 108 minutes you have to press the button on that computer?
Och aye! Tha's right!
Why? What's so special about 108? What'll happen if you don't press it?
It's vitally important that I press the button! Someone out there is relying on me! Look, I'm gonaa press it now!
Meanwhile, elsewhere...
Order #108 is ready! Cheeseburger and a large fries!
Yeah, that's mine!

 

by count_libido
5-12-06
Zombie Problems...
Aw, please can I have my arm back?
Coprophiliac Zombies...
I have a poo fetish. I'm only interested in people with shit-for-brains.
Dyslexic Zombies...
I'm sorry, I don't know anyone called Brian.

 

by count_libido
5-12-06
The SFX News Team brings you another fast breaking Sci-fi news story!
We're going live to roving reporter Trip Tripley who is on the scene!
So, is it true that Davros is teaming up with Phil Collins and Mike Rutherford to form a new musical supergroup?
Yes Trip, it is.
What's the new group going to be called?
"Genesis of the Daleks"

 

by count_libido
5-15-06
The SFX-Files
Today we have come to Mexico to track down the legendary creature, Chupacabras aka The Goatsucker!
Pardon me sir, but are you the mythical Goatsucker of old Meheeko?
No Senor, I no suck goats! I do magic!
So...you're the...?
Si, I am the Chupabracadabras!

 

by count_libido
5-16-06
I think I'm going mad.
I must be hallucinating. Every time I pick up a copy of SFX, I think it says 'SEX'. Am I crazy?
Don't worry about it. I hallucinate about food. I think you're nuts.

 

by count_libido
5-16-06
SFX Theatre 300...
What are we watching again?
Jurassic Park IV. Let's hope Spielberg listened to what the fans want to see this time!
Hey, let's go eat those annoying kids!
Yeah lets!
*chomp!*
Yaaayy!

 

by count_libido
5-17-06
The SFX Insider
For as long as he can remember, Nicholas Cage has wanted to play a superhero in a big hollywood movie. He failed the audition for Daredevil...
Dang!
He failed the audition for Superman...
Dang!
But now his luck has changed! He has been given the starring role in a remake of a Marvel Comics classic! Howard The Duck!
Wotta revoltin' development...

 

by count_libido
5-19-06
Misplaced
Hey! You're supposed to be in charge of the food supplies, not eat them all!
It wasn't just me, okay? Go see Jack - he ate all the ketchup!
What?

 

by count_libido
5-19-06
Middle Earth...
Welcome to the Rohirrim Dating Agency. So, tell us something about yourself.
I am looking for someone who shares my interests in horses and Boyzone.
The Irish Boyband? Even that Keating bloke?
Yes, for we are...The Riders of Ronan!

 

by count_libido
5-23-06
Dude, we are SO never getting off this island. It's bummin' me out.
Well, at least we're still alive, let's console ourselves with that. Now c'mon and let's finish that raft!
Uh..yeah...let's 'console' ourselves. 'scuse me...
Hey! You were supposed to be gathering bamboo!
Shut up man! I found an old Pong machine in the hatch! I'm 'consoling' myself...

 

by count_libido
5-23-06
Misplaced
Hey, how's the exploring going?
I'm pretty bummed out. I've been to the black rock, the caves, the beach...everywhere and I haven't found any pudding, any cake, any ice cream...nothing!
What are you talking about? There's nothing like that around here!
What kind of a dessert island is this?!?

 

by count_libido
5-23-06
Misplaced
I can't believe you confused 'desert' with 'dessert'! How dumb are you?
Hey, leave me alone okay? I've just been through a very traumatic plane crash and I haven't even had a flashback yet!
Next thing I know you'll be telling me that Jack isn't a real doctor!
later...
Well, actually these clothes were just in the first suitcase I found. I also found this really comfortable ladies underwear that I...
La-la-la! I'm not listening!

 

by count_libido
5-24-06
L'Enfer, c'est les autres...
Ah, cartoon 66 is here. It would not be complete without an appearance by me, The Devil! The wickedest creature in the world!
Uh-uh! I am waaay more evil than you.
Oh really? What have you done that's ssooo evil?
I invented the c-list celebrity magazine, MTV, turkey twizzlers and road rage! I gave Jade Goody a career and made Jordan write two books!
I told George Lucas that Jar-Jar Binks was a good idea.
You utter bastard!

 

by count_libido
5-24-06
Misplaced - flashback
Uh-oh, this doesn't look good. I knew I shouldn't have used those air miles on a cheap flight to Australia...
Well, at least I ended up on this desert island.
Look on the bright side - there were no snakes on the plane like in that Samuel L jackson movie. What's the worst that could happen here?

 

by count_libido
5-25-06
Couch Potatoes
I can't believe we've spent the last 48 hours in the house watching Buffy DVDs!
Maybe we need a change of scenery?
Thaaaat's better!
2 minutes later...
Oh yeah...

 

by count_libido
5-25-06
Phil and Fred's Excellent Adventure.
Whoa! This is the 69th strip!
69 dude! Excellent!
Actually I think you'll find that the numbering has been wrong on a number of occasions and in fact this is the 76th comic.
.....69 dude!
Excellent!!

 

by count_libido
5-26-06
Here at SFX labs, we have managed to identify and isolate the Geek gene. I shall inject our subject with it now...
Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh! The new X-Men 3 trailer is out!
We call it 'Endorkphins'.

 

by count_libido
5-26-06
Meanwhile, somewhere on Middle Earth...
Hhhhooobbitttssss........ ssshhhhhiiirre....
Can't help you mate. I've no idea where the fat one and the one with the ring are, but I think I know where the little Scottish one is!
Later, back on the island...
Hey, you're new. Were you in the tail section?
$%&*!

 

by count_libido
5-30-06
Kudos defends himself...
Just to put the record straight - I don't like Mills and Boon and I don't keep old ladies in my house!
Is it storytime yet?
Shut up and get back in the cupboard.

 

by count_libido
5-30-06
The adventures of Edgar Doobie, forum newbie...
zzzz....
Alright! my alarm call was a success! Now to log onto the SFX Forum!
Dude, it's 3am. What are you doing awake?
There's no one around so I can reply to every post and get my post count up and no one is here to stop me! I'll top the memberlist in no time and I will rule the forum and tomorrow....the world!!

 

by count_libido
5-31-06
Dude, I think we're lost...
Nuh-uh. Lemme just use this gadget here...
You... need to take the ...next left..and then turn by ...the traffic lights. You...can't miss them!
What the hell is that?
Shat-nav!

 

by count_libido
5-31-06
So can your shat-nav do anything else?
Sure, if I press this button here, it can take us anywhere we wanna go. Check this out!
See? It can even transport us to mysterious new alien worlds!
It's okay for you, man...you're not the one wearing a red shirt!

 

by count_libido
5-31-06
A football fan and a sci-fi fan discuss their differences...
Star Trek sucks! Football is much better!
11 men running after a ball? That's stupid! Sci-fi is much better!
Okay, let's just play a game of Fantasy Football, eh? I pick Bobby Moore, Pele, Maradonna, Cantona and Rooney. Who have you got?
Uuhh... Superman, Gandalf, Luke Skywalker, Mighty Mouse and Roy of the Rovers.
I meant Fantasy FOOTBALL!
Hey, all I heard was FANTASY...

 

by count_libido
6-19-06
A football fan meets a Sci-fi fan...
ING-UR-LUND! Ha! You SF fans are right saddos! Why do you know so much about Star Trek and get dressed up in silly costumes?
Us? You dress in silly little shorts and have flags hanging off your cars! I may know my Star Trek but I bet you can name every world cup winner and who scored the winning goals!
Er...yes...
I rest my case!

 

by count_libido
6-19-06
Check it out! I just bought these superhero magic words off E-Bay! All we do is say them aloud and we can turn ourselves into superheroes!
Sweet! Gimme!
With the powers of a gray skull!
SHAZ-HAM!
I don't think I read that right...
My underpants are still inside my tights...

 

by count_libido
6-20-06
Who are you?
I'm a witch!
What are you doing at the beach?
I'm a sand witch!
Mmm... sandwich...

 

by count_libido
6-21-06
Hey Man, c'mere! I got sumpin' for you...
Sure, what is it?
It's this new power protein. If you take this, you'll never need to go to the gym again. You could have abs like Steve O'Brien!
...but I already have abs like Steve O'Brien!

 

by count_libido
6-22-06
A debate is raging hotly...
Stargate is better!
That is illogical. Star Trek is better.
Star Gate / Star Trek / Star Wars. It's all the same, man! What about Stars in Their Eyes?
Aaaah!

 

by count_libido
6-23-06
The Starship is in for an MOT...
So, can you fix it?
Yep. 'Course it'll cost ya...
WHAT did you say?!
Later...
I probably should have mentioned that you never say anything about his corset...
***

 

by count_libido
6-26-06
Sheffield. 24th June 2006. They came...
They met, they drank...
They left!

 

by count_libido
6-26-06
Hollywood....
Yes, X-Men 3 performed well, but that franchise has come to an end. We need a spin-off.
What about another X-title like X-Force or Excalibur?
Excalibur? Ah yes, the team of British mutants. Not bad, but we need a new name, something typically english that says humour and mutants...
Something Pythonesque?
X-Parrot?
It has ceased to be...

 

by count_libido
6-27-06
Planet Arrakis. Dune. The only source in the universe of the spice Melange which is vital to space travel...
Y'know, that spice is great and everything but I think we need a new marketing campaign to promote sales of spice.
You're right! I've come up with a new range of different flavours. Each one appeals to a different lifestyle. Here, take a look!
"Sporty Spice, Posh Spice, Baby Spice and Scary Spice?!"
Yeah, you can even have different flavours?
"Ginger Spice?"
On seconds thoughts, no one will take that one seriously.

 

by count_libido
6-28-06
Did you hear that there's an E-Bay auction where Bryan Hitch will draw anything you want?
Sweet! I'm putting a bid in!
What are you going to ask him to draw? You know you can ask him for anything...
X-Women naked! X-Women naked! X-Women naked!
Meanwhile at Bryan Hitch Towers...
Master Hitch, they want you to draw naked comic book chicks.
Thank you Millar. Gee, what are the odds? Luckily I have a batch already prepared.

 

by count_libido
6-28-06
You ain't gettin' me on no plane fool!
Later...
See? I told you!

 

by count_libido
6-29-06
Ball ball ball! Footy footy footy!
Oh good grief. What do you want?
Me and the lads are having a World Cup kickabout in the park. We're playing the England vs Portugal match. Are you coming?
No. It's just a sad bunch of boys pretending they are David Beckham. It's quite pathetic really, thinking you're a big shot footballer. Newflash: It's not real!
Now if you'll excuse me, my Elf Cleric is about to go up a level in World of Warcraft.

 

by count_libido
6-29-06
So, how does it feel to be the SFX FORUM drunk?
Well, I get to drink beer all day...
...and the responsibilities are staggering.

 

by count_libido
6-29-06
The Adventures of Sky Cow!
Hey, what's going on down there?
Sky Cow swoops in for a closer look...
Welcome to the auditions for Cow Idol! Can you sing?
Yes....
...I can sing in the key of 'off'.

 

by count_libido
6-29-06
Somewhere in cyberspace...
Hey hey!
Uh... what do you think you're doing?
I'm here to talk about sex baby! Let's talk about you and me!
I'd read that banner again if I were you...
"SFX" Forum?! Ah nuts!
Don't worry. We get that aalll the time...

 

by count_libido
7-03-06
Today on SFX News, we are in search of "The 551". The 551 registered users who have never posted on the forun. We're now going live to our roving reporter, Ed Zinbitz...
Well. They're not here. I'm coming back to the studio...
Heh. Sucker!

 

by count_libido
7-03-06
The SFX News desk...
We go now to Ed Zinbitz, our roving reporter who is trying to track down the missing 551...
I'm here with my government contact, 'Deep Snout' who is in charge of the highly secret X-Files.
Actually Ed, due to budget cutbacks, we've had to merge the X-Files with the "O-O Files"
Oh. So what are you in charge of now?
The Oxo Files.

 

by count_libido
7-03-06
Looking for the 551...
We join Ed Zinbitz who is still looking for the missing forum non-posters...
I'm here in Offtopica to see if i can get a clue. Pardon me sir, have you seen the missing 551?
I'm not answering that question unless you say 'in my pants' at the end!
*sigh* Okay... have you seen the missing 551 in my pants?
Ask Ali.

 

by count_libido
7-03-06
The missing 551...
Psst!
Nope, I've just had one pint...
Huh?
What?
The SFX Forum is looking for the missing 551.
Are they the ones that have lives?

 

by count_libido
7-03-06
In my quest to find the missing 551, I've caught up with a Time Lord from Gallifrey.
So, are the missing 551 in your TARDIS?
Nope. It's just me.
But... if you travel alone all the time, why does the TARDIS need to be so much bigger on the inside?
Well, after spending 900 years travelling the universe alone, you amass quite the porn collection.

 

by count_libido
7-03-06
The search for the 551 goes on...
I've finally managaed to track down one of the missing 551 to this bedroom in his parents house in Slough.
Pardon me, but why did you register with the SFX Forum and then not bother to post anything?
Dunno. Couldn't be arsed. There wasn't enough pictures of girls on there so I surfed elsewhere.
You mean that's it? No big reason? After all the trouble I went to, I oughta kick your ass!
If you touch me, I'll rant about it on my online journal!

Showing page 5.

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