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All comics by seanator

 

Fun Fact #5 by seanator 12-16-08
Fact! Taxonomists estimate there are about 18,000 species of butterfly, but more than 130,000 species of moth.	Taxonomists also want to know why you haven't called them back after that nice night at Red Lobster.

 

Fun Fact #6 by seanator 12-16-08
Fact! When you pick up a common “pine cone,” you’d be correct to refer to it as “she,” since these brown, seeded cones are all female*.	*note: Pinecones also can't say no. al-riiight!

 

Fun Fact #7 by seanator 12-16-08
Fact! In 1983, a tiny fleck of paint off an earlier spacecraft hit the windshield of the orbiting space shuttle Challenger at 20,000 mph, causing a crater to form in its windshield.	They repaired it.

 

Fun Fact #8 by seanator 12-16-08
Fact! G.I. Joe is called “Action Man” in the U.K.	God, however, is called "David Bowie"

 

Fun Fact #9 by seanator 12-16-08
Fact! Why is French the most popular secondary audio track on DVDs? Mainly because approximately nine million Canadians claim French as their primary language.	Also mainly because the french are assholes.

 

Fun Fact #10 by seanator 12-16-08
Fact! The cost of a first-class postage stamp during the American Bicentennial was thirteen cents — one for each of the original colonies.	This unmasked many closet stamp collectors, many of whom were beaten to death in line at the post office.

 

Fun Fact #11 by seanator 12-16-08
Fact! Despite your mother’s dire warnings, chewing gum doesn’t stay in your stomach for years if you swallow it. It gets digested and disposed of just as quickly as anything else you consume	Cold doesn't give you a cold, Jerking off is awesome, Santa Claus is fake and your mom is a shitty cook.

 

Fun Fact #12 by seanator 12-17-08
Fact! If your morning commute to work is 20 minutes or less, it’s below the national average. New Yorkers have some of the longest commutes, averaging 40 minutes.	Granted, 20 of those minutes are spent reminding others of where exactly they are walking.

 

Fun Fact #13 by seanator 12-17-08
Fact! The frozen “TV dinner” debuted in 1952, when a marketing exec at Swanson was looking for a way to sell a truckload of surplus turkeys that hadn’t sold in time for Thanksgiving.	The gross ass soggy freezerburned brownie didn't come about until someone dropped a deuce in the freezer in 1957

 

Fun Fact #14 by seanator 12-17-08
Fact! The first astronomical object given a U.S. president’s name was an asteroid called Hooveria in 1920.	This is not to be confused with Hooverreah, the first bowel movement to be named after a president.

 

Fun Fact #15 by seanator 12-17-08
Fact! Japan is commonly thought of as a tiny island nation, but it’s actually about the size of California. In fact, it’s larger than many European countries.	Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for their johnsons.

 

Fun Fact #16 by seanator 12-17-08
Fact! Black-eyed peas aren’t peas, but beans. And coffee beans aren’t beans, but seeds.	Seeds-of-doubt aren't seeds, but- aw fuck it.

 

Get Your Jollies In vol.1 by seanator 12-23-08
Twas the night before Christmas... 411, where does Samantha Summers live? 4320 West 390th St	And what does she need for christmas? A nice good spanking	Santa what are you doing? Checking up on my naughty list.

 

Get Your Jollies In vol.2 by seanator 12-23-08
Twas the night before Christmas... HO!	HO!	ON THE REBOUND!

 

Fun Fact #17 by seanator 12-25-08
Fact! The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.	This includes classic, crunchy and the soggy zigzag ones from mcdonalds.

 

Carl's by seanator 12-29-08
One fine day... She looks like a bitch.. she had better not have spit in my food.. fuck her! What a cunt! Alright Jalapeno Burger with Medium Drink.	FUCK YOU CUNT!!! IM A PAYING CUSTOMER!!!	I'm so glad I had to take a shit.

 

Resolutions by seanator 1-03-09
One fine day... Snookums, my new years resolution is to be nicer to you!	I have been mean and controlling in 2008, but 2009 is OUR year.	Alright, you are allowed to swallow now *gulp* Oh honey!

 

RIP Smarterchild (2001-2008) by seanator 1-03-09
One fine day... So Smarterchild, are you ready to join the ranks of HAL and Robbie in bot heaven? I'm sorry, I could not understand the question, could you repeat it?	Are you really that dumb? I'm amazed. Would you like me to call you Amazed from now on?	Oh for fuck's sake. I don't like your language Amazed, apologize!

 

Fun Fact #18 by seanator 1-05-09
Fact! The names of Popeye's four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye	Between their names and having nothing but spinach in their lunchboxes, school really sucked.

 

Fun Fact #19 by seanator 1-05-09
Fact! The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men with their hands on each other's shoulders	They enlisted the help of Rod Johnson, the man who designed the bison's dong on the buffalo nickel.

 

On the Mcfly by seanator 1-12-09
One fine day... Hey! Lets go pee on Michael J. Fox's lawn! You read my mind.	Wow Bobby that sure is a thick stream! H h hey kids off the grass!	*huff**puff*That was fun!*cough* Was he shaking his face at us?

 

Congratulations by seanator 1-17-09
One fine day... Hey chuck, check out my new toilet shaped coffee mug! Why is there shit on it?	THAT'S a stupid question.

 

I wanna be sedated by seanator 1-17-09
One fine day... AHHH! What the fuck are you? I've. just. escaped. from. your. neighbor's. basement.	He. is. the. reason. im. this. wrinkly. pruny. lobotomized. mess. I. can't. even. speak. without. these. annoying. pauses.	MOOOOOM Michael Caine is at the door!

 

Mary Ploppins by seanator 1-17-09
One fine day... Did you hear about that one lady that fell off a five story building? No. What happened?	Well luckily she was carrying an umbrella.	She was nice and dry when she hit the floor.

 

Gets it faster by seanator 1-26-09
One fine day... I must admit, I enjoy some Jimmy Eat World. Did you know they got their band name from a childhood drawing by the frontmans brother?	Wow, thats how I made up my band name! Sean eat world?	Daddy Raped Mom

 

Hardy har har by seanator 2-04-09
One fine day... Hey there boy! Hey mister... I ran out of quarters...	Do you wanna fish in my pocket for change? Ok sure!	Go Obama! This is dumb.

 

Frost/Blitzen by seanator 2-04-09
One fine day... So what's your story? NYEEAAHHH	Ah, you can't talk then. No, I was choking on my alfalfa, thanks for the help.	ass.

 

So the library I work at got remodeled. by seanator 2-05-09
One fine day... Wow look at this place! The carpet looks so new! The carpet is new.	Look how nice this floor is now that you guys remodeled! We didn't remodel this floor.	Wow. Looks nice even back here! How the hell did you get in here?

 

Proclaimations

One fine day... I'm going to overdose on weed or die trying.

by seanator, 2-06-09

 

The Spaghettisberg Address by seanator 2-12-09
One fine day... Welcome to the natural history museum! zzzZZZzzz	It's easy to take for granted, but everything has its story, every artifact has its relevance. zzzZZZzzz	For instance, this fork was used by Lincoln to eat food.

 

Redemption by seanator 2-18-09
One fine day... Man, I love my girl, but what a pain! All she does is nag! Sucks man...	Tell me about it, it's EXACTLY like dating my mom!	So the sex is great?

 

Rape-ed by seanator 2-25-09
One fine day... Class, It's important to know that rape isn't commited for sexual reasons, its just a horrible way to assert power...	Bonjur monsieur, I am how you say, exchange student. Sure ees hot here in America! I will find a seat!	...a hot, sweaty, hard, moaning, screaming, prematurely relieving, horrible way to assert power...

 

Guess what by seanator 2-27-09
One fine day... Dude guess what, I- Don't start a sentence with guess what and then just continue, let me guess.	Jesus christ man, I'm just talking, I guess YOU took your asshole pills today! Asshole pills?	What do suppositories have to do with anything?

 

And I'm not even gay. by seanator 3-08-09
Bad Thing... Hey... wait... what the hell? EXACTLY Mr.Seanator. We will now proceed to rape you in the ass!	and the mouth! and you're gonna give me a footjob!	Worse thing... How do I get back to the upper level? Stairs go both ways sir.

 

The don't-walk-in-on-our-conversation duo by seanator 3-14-09
One fine day... So what do you do for a living? I work in a library. I'm a computer tech at the school lab. So you're a librarian?	Nah, I just take different sorts of media and jam it into the right slits, it really pleases the customers. Oh so its more of a rim-job.	What do you do at the computer lab? Masturbate, mostly.

 

Context is key by seanator 3-18-09
Oh dear lord, quench my thirst and let us be one. Fill me up so that I know that you will always be within me. And so it shall be	Oh Dear lord, quench my thirst and let us be one. Fill me up so that I know that you will always be within me. And so it shall be

 

A kite goes to Wendy's by seanator 3-18-09
One fine day... SHIT! when did I get here? Can I take your order?	Ill take two orders of chicken nuggets, a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, a small order of fries, a large frosty, and a small coke	and one order of chicken nuggets.

 

Good day to you sir by seanator 3-18-09
One fine day... Hello son, I am selling t- OH fuck! Jimmy! hide the bodies! hide the bodies!	-imeshares... would you be in- JIMMY! HES ON TO US! FUCKING HIDE THE BODIES! NOW!	Are your parents home? technically

 

Absorption by seanator 3-19-09
One fine day... Man, my tolerance to weed is so high, I only get stoned for 30 minutes! Really? One try of weed and im done for days!		I smoke it dude, I don't put it up my butt.

 

Jesus n' me! by seanator 3-23-09
One fine day... Hey Jesus, im kinda hungry, wanna check out the pantry? As long as it's not pork. I'm Jewish you know.	We weren't going to eat pork anyway man, so thats it? ...or Salt and Vinegar potato chips.	Because you're Jewish??? Nah, burns the cuts in my hands like NO other.

 

Retarded Ideas by seanator 3-24-09
one fine day... I'm going to invent a car sport with no rules... I'll call it...	Street driving!

 

Specify by seanator 3-24-09
One fine day... Why hello again boy! Can I please borrow a quarter.	Why of course you can! Just any quarter? Yes, just a quarter.	What the fuck. Just what the fuck.

 

What if Nicholas Cage was in every movie? by seanator 3-24-09
The Water Horse Your tiny water horse may be cute now, but if we let it live it will become a SEAhorse!	Charlotte's Web I drink their blood wilbur, after they are caught up in charlotte's web. I know its disgusting... but its the only way I know how to SURVIVE! oink.	Face/Off or Adaptation GIVE ME MY FACE BACK! GIVE ME MY FACE BACK!

 

More like secret entry code LOL by seanator 3-25-09
One fine day... Id just love to scoop you up and eat your ass Munch away, big boy!	Mommy what are they talking about? They are CIA agents, and thats thier secret code

 

Shitty Stand-Up

One fine day... The tragedy of Emma Watson is now that she's legal, none of the pedophiles care anymore.

by seanator, 3-28-09

 

Gary the inneffective undercover cop by seanator 4-01-09
Hello my nigger, I would like twenty dollars worth of marijuana What? I don't smoke marijuana... and im indian!	......can...can I just start over again?

 

Worst Easter Makeover Ever by seanator 4-08-09
One horrid day... Wow! The Easter Bunny! No, I'm the Easter Egg Cunt.	...and in other news Cadbury Creme Eggs will now be manufactured using Hershey Chocolate.	So where's my Easter gift?

 

Craigslist by seanator 4-17-09
One fine day... Hey! Im down to earth love to laugh and have fun but at the same time know when to be serious.	I just want to find someone with a great sense of humor, an open mind.. Any who you wanna know more ask me.	Meet me at moourl.com/xxblackbook , my username is wyomingslut17

 

Flonase family double episode special pt.1 by seanator 4-17-09
One fine day... Daddy what's big business mean? Well I'm the CEO of the house, your mother is like small business, and you are like the people.	oh...	Whats a pinada? I certainly hope for her sake she ends up hot.

 

Flonase family double episode special pt.2 by seanator 4-17-09
One fine day... I can't sleep...	*UNNGHHH* OHHH EDSTEIN! ...mommy?	So Sally did you learn anything about big business? I learned that the CEO fucks the small companies while the people watch.

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