All comics by shank

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by shank
6-05-04
ok, just a little more.
god damnit

 

by shank
6-05-04
Thats gross.
Hey, you asked.
Hey kiddo, what were you two talking about?
Space.
Oh yeah? Whats was so spacey about your conversation?
uranus...

 

by shank
6-05-04
Hey, you want to see a picture of you when you were just a little squirt?
I've already seen all my baby pictures though.
Not this one. I had included little messages, like in those comics, of what really happened. Makes it more lively if you ask me.
Ok, Show me then.
June 11th 1985
How it going kid? Want another beer?
*burp* yeah and another diaper while you're at it, i think i shit myself.

 

by shank
6-05-04
holy shit, check it out...a dog on a ball!
Holy Shit, I didnt know dogs wore underwear!

 

by shank
6-05-04
right on, someone gave me 5 stars :D
No they didnt you moron.
But there are 5 grey stars!
yeah so if i gave you 5 beer bottles with no beer in it, would you have beer?
*TURNS GOTH*
im going to sleep.

 

by shank
6-05-04
im sorry but i cant have sex with you anymore.
Why not?
everytime i have sex with you, smoke comes out my ears.
Well thats a natural occurrence when having sex with a cigarette.
Really?!? That's great because im really addicted to you.
aww you really light my life up.

 

by shank
6-05-04
So i was at my house with my girlfriend, and out of no where she was like "It tastes like peanutbutter"
So i was like "bitch, shut your damn mouth."
Thats it?
no....she almost bit my god damn pecker off.

 

by shank
6-05-04
lastnight when i was trying to sleep, i heard a noise over by the tv, so i opened my eyes and seen my vcr move towards the door, then it unplugged...
It scared the shit out of me, but seeing as how i knew whatever it was couldnt be harmful, i got up and turned on the light.
Right then i realized my tv had legs and tried to steal my vcr.

 

by shank
6-05-04
So what's a typical day for you?
hmm...Wake up, get a blow job, run into a few walls, Eat, have sex, sleep some more, wake up, eat, have sex, run into a few more walls, trip over the vaccum cleaner, go to bed and repeat.
Interesting, nothing special going on tomorrow?
well i was planning on going downtown for the first time while i have been blind.
Alright, well you'll need me afterwards so i'll see ya then!

 

by shank
6-05-04
i was going to get into my car and all the sudden this midget just appeared out from under my car.
are you serious?
yeah, he told me to watch where i was going. I looked around and just watched him walk off.
I then realized my car was parked over the cross walk on the street.

 

by shank
6-05-04
mmm this is a good chicken breast.
How would you like if i went around eating human breasts for lunch?
I dont think you'll get too far with that.
Why not?
We're having a full chicken for supper, and guess who's the lucky duck that gets to be the chicken
what? you're hav....wait what?

 

by shank
6-05-04
Someone tried to kill me last night at a party!
Someone tried to kill me tonight! What happend with you?
Someone slipped some Zyban into my drink. What about you?
Well i went to reboot my system and someone slipped me onto this thing! Luckily i managed to roll off with 90% of my body.
You shouldnt have slipped that Zyban into my drink then.
WHAT? YOU TRIED TO KILL ME? YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!

 

by shank
6-06-04
I was in the living room with my dad, watching tv, and then i heard a farting sound.
I was like, "what the hell was that?" He and said "I think it was a duck underneath me"
I said "Get the hell off him you asshole!"

 

by shank
6-06-04
Alright, Who invented teh cam whore??
T'was I, ah yas the cam is a beautiful thing
Come here so i can nail you to a wall you little shit.
ah yas s'time to go now

 

by shank
6-06-04
RING RING
Hello...Moose Jaw Sperm Bank, you spank it we bank it...(HEY CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR WHEN YOU'RE DOING THAT) *cough* sorry, can i help you?
Dad, can i borrow that knife? Mine broke off while disecting my uhh subject.
Sure son, as soon as you clean the backyard.
oh this is just great.

 

by shank
6-06-04
...This Tranqualizer works the best when you need the sleep you've been looking for! Side Effects are: Diarrhrea, Vomiting, Wetting the bed, and intense gas. It's worth the sleep, is it not?

 

by shank
6-06-04
bitch, what you doin jus standin there? go make me some money so i can buy me some bling bling bitch

 

by shank
6-06-04
Ok, you ready for this?
You have no idea how ready i am.

 

by shank
6-06-04
dad dad!! i saw this bike i want, can you buy it for me!??!?
no, daddy has no money.
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, YOU ARENT MY DADDY I HATE YOU
Go to your room.
Im sorry, i'll be nice if you buy me that bike.
I'll buy you that bike if you go to your room for the rest of the night.

 

by shank
6-06-04
man, you know what would be great?
pizza?
that and a motorhome, that would be sweet if we had a motorhome. dont you think?
A motorhome!?! hell yeah. how about a motorhome with a basement?!?
Sweet, then you could like hide stuff in the basement. What about a waterslide? eh? how about that?
Why has no one else thought of such great idea's like this? i dont understand.

 

by shank
6-06-04
Hey! let make a bong.
With what?
I found this big fucking santa claus thing outside, stands like 4 feet tall.
Seriously? we could make like a 6 man bong out of that.
im a real person, asshole
Hey, did you hear that?

 

by shank
6-06-04
Yeah i heard that, He's right behind you, and thats not a statue, thats your grandpa!
what the hell? grandpa? Why are you dressed up as santa and standing on the front lawn?
I always wanted to be a santa statue.
are you high?

 

by shank
6-06-04
Only when im in my sleigh. ho ho ho
???
Dude, i think your grandpa IS high.
yeah, so how about that bong idea?
i'll get the drill.

 

by shank
6-06-04
ROCK
ROCK
PULL MY FINGER
UPSIDE DOWN PAPER
SCISSORS
SCISSORS

 

by shank
6-07-04
I wanna be fat.
What? Why?
Then my dad wont call me a slut.
He'd just call you a fat slut.
No because i wouldnt be with any guys.
You should give me a blow job you ugly slut.

 

by shank
6-07-04
You know what, i learned something today.
Oh yeah? What'd you learn?
Always sample your sugar before you put it into your cerial, because sometimes its really salt.
haha, sucker.
at least i can make my own cerial.
get the hell out of my house.

 

by shank
6-07-04
EWWWWWWW
i said ew
sorry about that, i tend to get quite excited when i see human females. Can i interest you in a cup o' tea?

 

by shank
6-07-04
damn, our new baby sitter has a nice rack. I've got an idea! lets pretend that we shit ourselves, That'll sure attract some attention.
Be my guest.

 

by shank
6-07-04
hey you, with the big head
Me?!?
No, the guy behind you.
Behind me?

 

by shank
6-07-04
Howdy, I need some help puttin mah saddle on mah horse, could ya lend me a hand?
Outta my way, kid!
a dog on a ball, thats fucking classic
Alrighty! Just thought i'd let you know that you're dead. I guess you know that by now, so i'll talk to ya later!
You know how many comics ive been in? does anyone have not a fucking ounce of respect here? At least get me down from here you asshole.

 

by shank
6-07-04
Hi urine!
umm my name is EURENE!
Hey you assholes, her name is EURENE, not URINE.
Sorry about that! I guess the smell just got to me... I mean, thats the nickname they gave you.

 

by shank
6-07-04
I dont know, maybe its just the polluted water talking, but how about it, eh?
I believe my parents once had this same conversation.

 

by shank
6-07-04
Damnit, i knew i shouldnt of had that chilli, ohhh im not feeling too good right now!
uh oh
Oops

 

by shank
6-07-04

 

by shank
6-07-04
My birthday is coming up in 4 days! It's going to be awesome.
Whats going to be so awesome about it?
Im having a party, 90% of the people are going to be Females.
So are you going to get laid you think?
dude, i already got laid, I cant possibly get laid again.

 

by shank
6-07-04
Hey, Give me back my monkey.

 

by shank
6-07-04

 

by shank
6-07-04
Yeah so i was like, eating these noodles earlier...
you dont say
hehe yeah...and like, they tasted like doughnuts!
you dont say
oh hehe, i said
you mind if i...?

 

by shank
6-07-04
Oh my god, what is that smell?
What smell?
I dont know, smells like ass or something.
You think it might have something to do with your new lips?

 

by shank
6-07-04
oh shit

 

by shank
6-07-04
Got Milk?
No
How about now?

 

by shank
6-07-04
Guess what i got!
Another meal?
I just got hired for a job, It's pays $10/hr CAN. I Start monday!
Right on, now you can drink all your money away like you did with your other 2 jobs. You used to make $1000 a week, where the hell did it all go?
uhh, Food...and stuff for food, like ketchup and mustard.
You lying sack of shit.

 

by shank
6-07-04
OI MATE! Can oi bum a fag?
Hey, what you do with your life is your business, leave me the fuck out of it.

 

by shank
6-07-04
Hmmm, all this thinking is making me hungry, What should i eat? I sure could go for some Ice Cream...But from where? DQ or that place down the street? Well DQ does have softer ice cream...
I Think i'll go to DQ for my ice cream. Oh damnit, What flavour do i want? i dont want to be sitting there looking like an idiot thinking of a flavour. Chocolate sounds good, but so does strawberry...
Oh screw this, i think all this thinking is making me want to cut the rest of my hair, Maybe i should do that before i go out and get my ice cream...But what style should i go with!?!?

 

by shank
6-08-04
I cant stand my father, he is SUCH an asshole
Oh goodness, i know! Just last week he got me whipped for playing grab-ass with the angels!
I wonder what Satan thinks about my dad, I mean he can't still be sour at him for the whole "eternal damnation" thing
Hmmm...
Jesus's dad is such an asshole, He gave me and cthulhu a spanking for playing grab-ass with the angels.
What an asshole.

 

by shank
6-08-04
hey mr. horn-head, did i tell you my birthday is coming up?
Excuse Me, my name is Hoofs. No you never told me about your birthday and frankly i dont care because i have no clue who you are.
Oh, well im chicken-face and my birthday is in 3 days.
Will someone please change this background? It's killing me.
Ummm that is totally unrelated to what i was talking about.
Thank You

 

by shank
6-08-04
Say, would you like to go on an adventure with me?
Sure grandma! Where are we going?
Grandma?!?
Yes, What would you like dear?

 

by shank
6-08-04
WHO'S THERE?!?
It's me grandma!
Help! Intruder! Please i'll do anything, just dont hurt me!
What? ohh uhh bake me some cookies?

 

by shank
6-08-04
Have you ever played Nintendo?
Yes why?
What did you think of the game "Duck Hunt"?
umm it was quite a controversial game for us ducks.
Oh yeah? That was my favorite game.

 

by shank
6-08-04
Then i said "you cant tell me what to do, bitch!" and then she sent me to my room.
Why are you in my kindergarden class?

Showing page 5.

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