All comics by sonesh123

 

by sonesh123
6-27-13
Hey, did you file your tax returns? If not, i can recommend a CA who will file it on your behalf.
Thanks for the help. I will do it on my own. CA's have always made a mockery of me :(
Really. And why do you say that?
They laughed when they glanced at my humble income statement and asked me to look for another job in sympathy :(

 

by sonesh123
7-01-13
Hey, how did you manage to close the deal with that client? He seemed to be really tough on his demands.
I used the "sympathy sale" technique.
Whats that?
I requested him to either give us the deal or give me a job in his company as i would be fired. He preferred the former as he knew my notorious reputation in our company.

 

by sonesh123
7-04-13
Jobby was talking to a new joinee....
The HR told me that the work environment in this company is conducive to growth.
Yes, it is. You get promotions at regular intervals.
Really, how long it takes to become a manager?
15 years. You will go through an unnecessary but well structured organizational hierarchy ..first an officer, then a senior officer and super senior officer, then asst executive , deputy exec .....

 

In a weekly meeting with Boss....
I am going for an "Emerging Leadership Program" next week.
Its been 10 years since he has been attending such workshops. The only thing that has "emerged" out of him is utter stupidity :(
by sonesh123, 7-06-13

 

I saw that you managed to sit through the awful 3 hour presentation made by the boss today and also appreciated his inputs. How do you do that?
Never underestimate a salesguy. His capacity to listen and appreciate nonsense is unparalleled.
by sonesh123, 7-17-13

 

by sonesh123
9-07-13
I hope my contribution to the project helped you all.
Boss, thanks for your support. You are like lord ganesh to all of us.
If only, we could do your visarjan once and for all.

 

by sonesh123
11-18-13
Jobby's colleague had his birthday yesterday...
I cant remember the last time i received a birthday gift from my friends. They just send me e-cards these days.
I receive gifts from all my friends on my birthday.
Really?? Lucky you..
Yes, they message me gift icons on whatsapp :(

 

I recommended an easier way for project completion but Boss doesnt listen. Its difficult to change his style of working. What do you think about him?
If a donkey knew that he was doing donkeywork, he would still do it without prejudice :)
by sonesh123, 11-22-13

 

by sonesh123
1-15-14
Suburban Guy meets SoBoChick after a long gap..
So, whats new with you these days?
I have become a "socially" responsible citizen
Thats great. How have you managed to do that?
I have liked the AAP Party's facebook page, share their updates regularly and tweet about them every hour.

 

by sonesh123
1-25-14
Did you complete the project's BRS document yesterday?
No Sir. Couldnt get the time for it?
Is that reason enough to not complete the BRS?
No Sir. I will come up with a detailed BRS to support my claim of not being able to complete the BRS.

 

by sonesh123
9-23-15
Data guru was summoned by his boss...
John, can you explain the lingerie ads plasterered all over your Facebook page during the presentation?
I apologize, sir. I swear i didn't browse anything objectionable which might have influenced the Facebook Ads recommendation engine
Later that evening....
Hey, I forgot to tell you that i used your laptop last night for buying lingerie :)
#$*@C@*$ you nearly cost me my client today :(

 

by sonesh123
9-27-15
The Prime Ministers US visit was the talk of the town...
NaMo is meeting Sean Rad - the founder of Tinder as part of the Digital India Campaign.
Really, why is that?
Promoting the "Mate" in India initiative :)

 

by sonesh123
9-16-16
During the coffee break...
Hey Sanjay, can you guide me on what amount should i invest in an insurance coverage?
Sure. Lakshman, since you are unmarried, you should have a life cover that is 5 times your annual income.
How about you? I guess you are married.
Yes, Hence I have a life cover of about 10 times my annual income.
Great. That means I should stay single to live longer and avoid crazy insurance costs :)

 

by sonesh123
3-15-19
Tom was having a hard day at work..
Tom, the website traffic is taking a hit due to the Google Panda Penalty
Yes, sir. I know that. We are on it.
By when can I see results?
Atleast 3 years. Panda's love bamboo and we are growing virtual bamboos to appease them enough to lift the penalty

 

by sonesh123
3-22-19
A colleague noticed that Tom was quite upset.
Tom, you look quite unhappy. What happened?
Lisa, the new girl from the SEO team, refused to go out on a date with me.
Oh..what did she say?
She just wants to have a SEO-friendly relationship with me

 

by sonesh123
2-03-20
Tom was having a word with his boss after the Monday morning review meeting...
Boss, why don't we respond to the competition's false and disparaging remarks on our brand's Facebook page?
Tom, we are a company with high levels of professionalism. Lets answer them on a more professional platform
Great. I will spam them on Linkedin then.
WTF!!

 

by sonesh123
7-25-22
Tom, we are falling behind on organic rankings for many relevant keywords.
Boss, I will need more quality content to help me rank.
I understand. Lets hire some interns who can research and write
WTF!! Cutting corners on the wrong things again

 

by sonesh123
8-30-22
Tom, whats the status on the lead generation campaign?
Sir, its yet to start as we have to finalize the ad copy with our product USP.
Our product USP is that we are the best Conversational AI solution on the planet. Please use this and start the campaign
If only tall claims could work in lead generation campaigns ....

 

by sonesh123
11-29-22
Tom, why aren't we running personalized ABM campaigns for our top 30 clients?
We do not have account specific insights to personalize messaging. Neither the sales team nor the CRM has been helpful in this regard.
Sales team is busy doing sales. Just run the ads with the client logos and our product USPs. That should be good enough.
Then its not ABM. Its GBM - Generic Bull**it Marketing !!!

 

by sonesh123
12-27-22
What were your learnings while running Linkedin campaigns in 2022?
We need to invest more in creating well-researched content for nurturing MQLs to SQLs
In that case, we don't need MQLs. Just get me SQLs
WTF

 

by sonesh123
1-01-23
On the first working day of 2023...
Tom, we need to start focusing on first party data backed marketing campaigns in 2023
Thats a great thought. How do we begin to do that?
By reducing focus on second party and third party data
Damn, I shouldn't have expected specifics from his species.

 

by sonesh123
4-13-23
Tom and his boss Richard were discussing marketing strategies for 2023
Tom, we need to prepare a ROI-driven B2B marketing strategy for our SaaS based CRM for 2023
Sure, first I need clarity on the Ideal Customer Profile for our enterprise SaaS product.
Just target the CMOs, CTOs and CIOs of the top 10000 companies in the country. They would all be relevant for our product
Why are we playing blind man's buff all over again ? :(

 

by sonesh123
4-18-23
Tom was trying to get client information for building a case study from Sam, the account manager...
I can't share sensitive details about the implementation in my client's company
So, how do I build a case study for my marketing campaign?
Ask our boss Richard for the relevant information
And here begins passing the parcel. Richard to Sam, Sam to Richard...and the cycle continues..

 

by sonesh123
4-20-23
Tom's boss Richard was eager to know the results of their SEO efforts...
Tom, by when can we get our website to rank on top for high search volume keywords?
Only Jesus can answer that with confidence :(
Jesus, when can we get our website rank on top on Google SERPs?
I am afraid, I don't know. Pray to the everchanging algorithm, my son :)

 

by sonesh123
4-24-23
Tom was having a chat with his boss Richard to discuss buyer journey content ideas..
Tom, how are you planning the customer journey campaigns?
I am building content across the buyer journey stages - Awareness, Consideration, and Decision Making.
Just focus on decision stage content. Bombard our prospects with emails on product trials. I need leads...
How do I school him in marketing basics?

 

by sonesh123
5-04-23
Tom was having a heated argument with Newton - his sales head, about participating in physical vs virtual events for lead generation...
Tom, physical events are the only channel through which we get qualified leads
I disagree. Virtual events have evolved to be good lead gen source too.
Half the time the audience is sleeping in a virtual event. There is barely any engagement
That's because they are subjected to sleep inducing content by speakers like you.

 

Tom and his boss were discussing Email CTR challenges...
Our email click-through rates are terrible. How can we improve them?
We could add a giant 'Click Here or Else!' button?
by sonesh123, 6-13-23

 

Tom was getting feedback on his marketing campaigns from his Product head
Our content marketing needs to be more engaging
I've got it! We'll release a series of cat videos with B2B SaaS tips!
by sonesh123, 6-19-23

 

Tom's boss was sharing his views on ChatGPT..
I don't think anybody's job is threatened with ChatGPT in our office.
Yours is. I would happily report to ChatGPT instead of you
by sonesh123, 6-21-23

 

by sonesh123
6-28-23
Tom was discussing Google Ads campaign performance with his boss..
I've been running Google ads for our CRM software, but the click-through rates are not as high as I expected
Well, Tom, did you try adding some catchy phrases or exciting offers to entice our B2B audience?
Actually, I did. I used the headline, "Forget about Excel! Our CRM software will make you feel like a superhero
Well, apparently, B2B professionals don't want to wear spandex suits in the office. Who knew?

 

by sonesh123
6-29-23
Tom and his colleague were discussing Facebook marketing strategies for their CRM product..
Lets leverage Facebook for marketing our CRM
Oh, really? How do we do that?
By making an ad with cute kittens using our CRM!
A CRM software with a built-in "purr”formance guarantee? :)

 

by sonesh123
7-02-23
Tom was dicussing GA4 migration with his boss....
We should plan for a smooth migration to GA4 asap.
What's the big deal about GA4?
Its like a high-tech forensic lab to crack the code to better marketing strategies!
Seems like you are watching too much of Sherlock these days

Showing page 5.

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