All comics by webspider

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Mary was getting tired of coming home to find her husband trashed...
by webspider, 8-30-10

 

Dude, let's compromise. You keep down the racket and I'll ask the family not to eat your testicles while you're sleeping...
by webspider, 8-30-10

 

Some people have cats. Others have dogs. Kate had crabs.
by webspider, 8-30-10

 

Note to self: Always double check the return date on your wife's vacation ticket...
Come back, Honey! I know it looks bad, but...
by webspider, 8-30-10

 

Hey Bob! We've been here on this island a long time, eh? Remember when we ran out of food and I lost the coin toss? Wow! That really sucked!
by webspider, 8-30-10

 

Sorry Mame. But the makers of the Banana-matic 99000 are not responsible for any injury resulting from improper usage of the device...
by webspider, 8-30-10

 

Not a Zombie's Best Friend...
I knew I should have bought that pet rock...
by webspider, 8-31-10

 

BRAAK! Awoooooooooooo!
Oh Doc! I've got good news and bad news.. the good news is that your lycanthrope formula worked perfectly on the Parrot....
by webspider, 8-31-10

 

How will they Kill, er End "Cathy"...
Oh Irving Honey! I'll be right out. I just need to try on another 45 outfits and find some matching shoes...
I think I'll just end the strip by killing Cathy, her parents, the dogs, and those annoying sales clerks...
by webspider, 8-31-10

 

Great Mysteries Explored...
I give up. Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know, but I do know he should have looked both ways first. That guy is flatter than a freakin pancake out there...
by webspider, 9-10-10

 

by webspider
9-10-10
Welcome to Sparta!
Hey, Mrs. Kerr! Tell me another story about the Spartans! I just can't get enough about those hot guys running around half naked...
The Spartan Men Were All GAY ! !
Want to see some pictures???

 

The Karate Kid - Sorta.
Mr. Miagi, will kicking extra high like this improve my karate skills? -------------------------- Er... Shouldn't I be wearing a sports bra? And why are we in this creepy old basement?
Yes, Debbie San. Now, show me again, Jump up and down. ------------------------- No Argue with Sensai! JUMP UP AND DOWN NOW !
by webspider, 9-10-10

 

Wow Baby! That was awesome! You like totally blew my mind! Did you enjoy it too? ------------------------ ------------------------------ Gosh! I can't believe this! What are you? Some sorta freak?
Well, actually. I couldn't really feel it too much. Maybe next time, we could try it without the puppet?
by webspider, 9-10-10

 

by webspider
9-10-10
The Simple Life...
Wow! This place is great! This is exactly what I was looking for in an apartment!
Um. Dizzy, this isn't an apartment, it's a forest. We can't live out here...
Oh! What's the big deal, Baby! This place has everything! Fresh air! Wide open space!
You can't get WIFI out here, and the pizza delivery guy won't come out this far...
Hmmm... You know, that penthouse we was checking out yesterday across from the nudie bar was pretty nice too...

 

Henpecked...
What's the matter, Honey Child? You a little chicken? ------------------------- No problem, I'll go get my branding irons...
No, but I'll be a dead duck if I go home to the little woman with any missing tail feathers, Mistress Fanny... --------------------------- ( EEEP! )
by webspider, 9-10-10

 

Jon and Kate Plus 8...
Herman! You get back here and wipe this seat! How disgusting! Did you expect me to sit on that wet mess? Mother always warned me that you were no good....
Give me a break, will ya! I got 8 penises and two hands.. You do the math!
by webspider, 9-10-10

 

by webspider
9-10-10
Eye of the Beholder...
Hmmm. Just a little more around the eyes... and there...
Voila!
You idiot! That doesn't look anything like me!
Don't encourage him!
Well, maybe we could find you a nice top hat and him a nice broom....

 

by webspider
9-10-10
My Fellow Americans! If you vote for me, I pledge to end the wars abroad, balance the budget, create more jobs, and bring glory back to this great country!
Who the hell are you kidding? People aren't stupid enough to vote for a giant paperclip!
We live in Canada, you idiot!
Don't count me out. These dummies voted for George W. Bush --- TWICE!

 

Sex Education 101... Sorta.
Birds and the Bees, my big black fanny... I'm tellin you right now, THAT ain't gonna happen!
by webspider, 9-10-10

 

*gasp*
Anyone else got something funny to say about my bow tie? And I remind you that I've got more flesh eating bacteria pies where that came from...
by webspider, 9-10-10

 

Well, your temperature is fine. But I still don't think you look very good. Stay home another day, and you'll be back to your normal self...
by webspider, 9-11-10

 

I've gotta get out of this place. The guards are corrupt, the conditions are deplorable, and the other inmates are, well, they're....
Hey boy! You looking mighty fine in them jeans...
by webspider, 9-12-10

 

Yeah, I'd say our war protest is really starting to have an effect. They stopped fighting in this whole area... Whoah!
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

Putty. Putty. Putty. Green Putty. Grutty Peen. Grarmpitutty - Morning! Pridsummer - Grorning Utty! Discovery.... Oh. Putty?..... Armpit? Armpit..... Putty. Not even a particularly Nice shade of green.
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

Changing definitions...
Arrgh! I be a Pirate! Nobody be tougher than me! -------------------- Avast! And I thought we had it good with the Letters of Marque!
You haven't met lawyers from the RIAA, have you? I heard they took a poor old woman's house just for making unauthorized copies of The Golden Girls...
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

I can't go if you are going to be staring at me the whole time...
*BZZZT* If you twist your gozzak too many times, it will fall off...
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

by webspider
9-13-10
Okay Guys! That was a really funny one, tricking your Captain into beaming down to the all green planet saying that the Ultra Hot Green Bitch wanted his body!
Everything down here is GREEN! I couldn't find anything except by feeling around like I was in the dark!
I'll teach you to mess with my girlfriend, Paleface!
I just spent the last three hours trying to have sex with a parking meter! ============= STOP LAUGHING! SHE HAD A GREAT FIGURE!!!!

 

Hey Mister! I think one of your gambling machines must be out of money. Everytime I tried to play it, it says insufficient funds...
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

Hey! Do you know if a plane could still fly with two engines destroyed and half its roof ripped off?
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

Wow class! Wasn't that a great water drinking contest? Now, let's watch a 3 hour commercial free documentary about flushing toilets...
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

Wow! This is exciting! Are you Aliens going to give an anal probe?
Damnit! Karzzak the Pervert visits your planet just ONCE and now you sicko humans think we're ALL a bunch of freaks!
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

Is it a road to nowhere or a woman in a blue skirt taking a pee? You sicko!
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

Okay Mugsy, you go crack open the safe, and I'll wait here and look inconspicuous...
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

...and so I told her that I wasn't gonna do that. It smelled like human!
by webspider, 9-13-10

 

by webspider
11-21-10
Vacation Planning...
Wanna see something cool, Butch. This guy died from a rare skin condition. He was almost as pale as you...
Lethal skin condition? That sounds pretty serious. Maybe you should take some time off and get away from us, ---er, I mean here...
Typical... As soon as Butch was on a far away beach, trying to relax, he started getting all sorts of ideas for the office...
Hey Mate.. Want to go hunting for deadly Jelly Fishes?
Hm....

 

by webspider
11-21-10
Butch was beginning to regret taking his new girlfriend on vacation...
Butch! You put Frogs Breath in my soup again! I keep telling you that I don't like Frogs Breath!!
All she ever did was complain when Butch tried to cook a nice meal...
How the heck am I gonna eat this slop with all this Frogs Breath in it...
On the upside, maybe with her bitching about the Frogs Breath, she wouldn't notice the Rat Poison...
What the heck is it with you and Frogs Breath? Don't you own any normal spices?

 

by webspider
11-27-10
Got worries about your Pimpmobile? Get the James Brown Car Alarm Plushie...
"Okay, Mr Brown... Yoose keep a sharp eye for troublemakers, ya hear!"
*blip boop*
* Aryeah! Aryeah! * "I don't feel good at all!" *Aryeah!* "Some cracker's trying to rip off my Pimpmobile! Call the Poolice!" *Aryeah!*
*Aryeah!* "And don't pay no attention to that gun or drugs in the glove box... I'm just holdin it for a friend!" *Aryeah! Aryeah!*

 

by webspider
1-28-11
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Hey Honey, I'm gonna toast up a bagel? You want half?
Sure! Sounds great!
Ok, you want the top or---
-- bottom !

 

This strip brought to you by the friendly people at CompuDate...
Hey! Don't look at me like that. You said you were into computer dating...
by webspider, 1-28-11

 

by webspider
1-28-11
Career Consulting 101
So Bill, did you ask the boss for that pay raise? What did he say?
Yeah, he said no.
Well, that's just bullshit. You go right back in there and demand that pay raise. Tell him that you deserve it and you aren't taking no for an answer this time...
Okay, I'll go get my chainsaw....
Think he'll get that raise?
Fuck No! But at least we'll finally have the cubicle back to ourselves again!

 

by webspider
1-28-11
Good to the last drop...
Dude, seriously. You have to stop messing with the coffee. Even I'm beginning to feel that guy's hallucinations...

 

by webspider
1-28-11
Intervention... Sorta.
Oh God! This coffee is so freaking great! It's changing the way that I see everything! Oh, the amazing colours!
Dude, 3 things....... Number 1: I think that scientist guy has been spiking your coffee... And Number 2... This is my real shirt....
...and number 3, I'm not really here... Dude, you are seriously mesed up. Stop drinking that crap and listening to voices inside your head...

 

Normally she'd would never wear the red dress on a first date. It made men think of her in the wrong way...
Red meat? I'll never be able to stick to that new vegan diet at this rate...
by webspider, 1-29-11

 

Woah neighbour, this is a sweet lawn. Of course, my lawn would be great too if I had 15 compost containers. What sorta mix do you use anyway?
None of your Bees-ness...
by webspider, 5-29-11

 

Hey Butch, did you hear about that mixup in the company cafeteria... Someone shipped human flesh instead of frozen beef burgers...
by webspider, 5-29-11

 

by webspider
5-29-11
Okay, this is it, 1313 Cemetary Row... What the?
Is this someone's idea of a practical joke? How the heck am I supposed to delivery mail to a grave plot?
Stupid Bob and his practical jokes. Ha ha! Very funny! Grrr!
Oh crap. Someone stole my mailbox again! Stupid kids!

 

by webspider
1-12-12
Somewhere in Western Canada...
So, you see, these two douchebag Facebook developers are ripping off mine and 160 other web comics! They won't stop it!
No problem, Mr. Hunt. We'll get right on the case...
18 hours later, somewhere in Tennasee...
...perhaps my associate can convince you otherwise. ..
Screw you, dweeb! We're not taking down the app or paying you any dough!! I'm not afraid ---
"Hey Butch! This guy says he's not going to stop stealing your comic..."
Sonovacrap!

 

When Chuck said that he was hiring an extra hand for the cafeteria, this wasn't exactly what Butch had in mind...
by webspider, 8-11-12

 

Butch wasn't half as disappointed at the cleaning woman's hourly rate as much as he was that apparently it didn't cover cleaning up Jevohah Witness entrails off the front porch...
by webspider, 8-11-12

 

Butch was finding that there were certain benefits to having an office building attached to the city morgue...
Well, I can't speak from experience, but I hear from the tribal types that it does taste like chicken. Why do you ask?
by webspider, 8-11-12

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