All comics by BlackAlice

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by BlackAlice
4-15-06
How am I s'posed to change the lightbulb when there aren't any lightbulbs?
Like this.
What you think I'd send him on a sensible quest?
It's your comic, how was I s'posed to do that?
You weren't.

 

by BlackAlice
6-17-06
Fuck I can't be bothered.
With?
Making this comic.
What are we doing here then?

 

by BlackAlice
6-28-06
Nearly home time.
The sign you've put on this door says "always keep this door closed".
Yup.
How exactly do we get out?
Use your inititive.
Bye Dave.
I meant climb through the window.

 

by BlackAlice
7-19-06
In bread-holding at the sandwich factory.
Oil is dripping from the ceiling.
I'll go upstairs and have a look.
Moments later.
Why do we have tanks of oil upstairs?
There's a big pool of oil up there. Must have come from one of the tanks.
Days later.
Oil is still dripping from the ceiling!
Don't worry should stop soon. There can't be much left up there now.

 

by BlackAlice
10-04-06
I think I might have killed my ex-girlfriend Karen, today.
How?
Well, she's allergic to onions and today at the sandwich factory I was working with cucumber and onions at the same time
and I'm sure there will be some contamination. So if she buys a sandwich with cucumbers in it, made at my factory..
You evil genius, you.

 

by BlackAlice
10-04-06
Put ONLY toilet tissue in the toilet!
?
Put ONLY toilet tissue in the toilet!
I suppose I better piss on the floor then.

 

by BlackAlice
10-29-06
Hey 27 isn't that old.
You are so old!
It's ok, I'd rather be 26 and look like this, than be 21 and look like that.
he he

 

by BlackAlice
10-29-06
I'm a level 36 witch.
Are you of the D&D tradition?
What's a tradition?

 

by BlackAlice
10-29-06
It's a bit like a path.
Do I look like a path?
Well I find you easy to walk over.

 

by BlackAlice
10-30-06
So you take earth and water and the other two elements come out of nowhere..
and that's how you get rabbits.
Your parents kind of side-stepped the whole birds and the bees talk didn't they?
And of course you need a magic top hat too.
O' you're talking about one of your spells.

 

by BlackAlice
10-30-06
'Lo
What the fuck? Ashleigh why are you dressed as a nun?
I was fed up of wearing Bart Simpson cast offs.
So you became a nun?
Kinda.
That's a bit extreme isn't it?

 

by BlackAlice
10-30-06
So you're dating a nun now?
She's not a nun.
She looks like one.
I really should be able to think of something incredibly funny to say right now.
FIN

 

by BlackAlice
6-01-07
You're tall.
Is it cold up there?
In the winter I get snow on my head.
Really?
If it snows.

 

by BlackAlice
10-27-07
Stupid looking dolls.
What did you do now?

 

by BlackAlice
10-27-07
I can't look.
What's happening?
Another one of your awful comics.

 

You will never silence me!
It's ok I'm not plugged in.
by BlackAlice, 10-27-07

 

by BlackAlice
10-27-07
RING RING
RING RING
RING RING
What, I'm a glove puppet!

 

by BlackAlice
10-27-07
We've had some complaints from our readers about brain melting material.
Do you think your comic caused the hoarde of zombies outside?
No we don't have that many readers.
There goes my one shot at fame.

 

by BlackAlice
10-27-07
Why are we up here?
The Earth was overrun with Zombies and we had to escape into space.
That's terrible!
It gets worse: Once the zombies die of starvation,
we'll have to repopulate the Earth.

 

by BlackAlice
11-02-07
Just to let you know, this guy friend of mine we are going to see is gay
That's ok. I'm fine with gay people.
I have a disability myself so why would I be prejudice against other people with disabilities?
Homosexuality isn't actually classed as a disability.
It isn't? THOSE SICK FREAKS!

 

by BlackAlice
11-02-07
So Jesus you're a god right?
I'm THE God.
Just answer yes or no.
Who are you Jeremy Paxman?
So anyway, as a god, death didn't hold much fear for you huh?
Well no but the nails hurt a lot.

 

by BlackAlice
11-02-07
You say the nails hurt? But you are all knowing.
Yes, yes I am.
That means you've known every pain ever.
Um I guess so.
What is crucifixion to a god?
I put it to you, that your sacrifice was infact just a PR stunt.
You are Jeremy Paxman.

 

by BlackAlice
1-12-08
You're not going anywhere until you feed me.
How exactly did you nail up the door?
Moments later.
Marcus can I have a word with you?
Next time I want something with a bit more meat on the bones.
Now how exactly are we going to get out of here?

 

by BlackAlice
1-12-08
You really didn't think this nailing the door shut thing through did you?
You can talk, this comic is nearly finished and you still haven't thought of a good way to make it funny.
It takes something of a genius to make a good joke but it takes a true idiot to nail up the only exit.
I'm a plant how much IQ do you expect?

 

by BlackAlice
1-12-08
Maybe you should give up on the humour and just think of a way out.
I already know a way out.
Did I just draw myself a gingerbread cottage?

 

by BlackAlice
5-13-08
I feel sorry for you.
Why?
You've got to sit on Santa's knee after she does.
0_o

 

by BlackAlice
5-20-08
What's with the silly costume?
You're one to talk.
I always wear this.
You must smell bad.
A quick makeover later.
Ok I've changed and I have a better question: Why are you in the ladies?
Um..

 

by BlackAlice
5-20-08
What's all this?
This is all the fan mail we've received since your outfit change.
Ok..
Are you going to be staring at my tits for long?
Yup.

 

by BlackAlice
5-20-08
When did you learn to drive?
I didn't, this is a dream.
Yours or mine?
Well I've got a car so we could go to mine..
I meant the dream dickhead.
Sorry that dress is very distracting.

 

Anything's scary when you're wearing a red StarTrek jumper.
St..st..stay back.
by BlackAlice, 5-23-08

 
by BlackAlice, 5-23-08

 

by BlackAlice
6-07-08
Why are we here?
I was very bored, so I decided to make a comic.
But why outside a hospital?
You'll see.

 

by BlackAlice
6-07-08
My friend needs to see a doctor.
You have a friend?
I need to see a doctor.
Ok you've seen me but maybe what you really need is that nail removing from your head?
How's my friend?
He didn't make it.

 

by BlackAlice
1-08-09
I'm gonna eat you little Skippy!
Um that's a space suit not armour.
Try it.

 

by BlackAlice
1-08-09
O' no, not planet cute!
I'm sure the rabbits used to be cuter.
Sleep walking again, huh, Alice?
Why are you still here?

 

by BlackAlice
1-12-09
Did you know a single Google search uses enough electricity to boil a kettle, because of the energy required to power up the servers?
No I didn't..
but Google is being used pretty much all the time.
So if the kettle is on anyway, I might as well have a cup of tea.

 

by BlackAlice
1-12-09
As you may remember we killed Marcus off. So here he is in Heaven with a busty red-head nurse.
When he receives a letter recalling him to my comic.
?
And suddenly the nurse finds where she had left her thermometer.
O' no.
I wondered where that had got to.

Showing page 6.

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