All comics by crabby

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by crabby
12-29-01

 

by crabby
12-29-01
You lucky little prick! Looks like you've got friends in high places cause you've just been granted a full presidential pardon.
You lucky little prick! Get the hell outta here you worthless little prick!
I got you out now you gotta do me a favor.

 

by crabby
12-29-01
Now you listen to me I'm the god damn president of the United Staes of America! I don't need little two cent thugs like Espisito pushing me around! So you go tell him I've had enough of his shit.
So the president thinks he can push me around huh? Well you tell that no good cock sucker I'm not leaving him alone til I gets my money!
I want you to take this gun and shut his mouth once and for all. You go pop a cap in his ass for old times sake alright pal.

 

by crabby
12-29-01
***BLAM***
So this is how it ends huh? Looks like Espisito wins. I just can't believe it was you who pulled the trigger. I always knew it would end this way but I never suspected you.
Good job pal. I wish I could think of a way to repay you. But then again we can't have you squeling to the cops can we.
***BLAM***
I really didn't want it to come to this pal. You just couldn't be trusted. The world will be a better place without you. One less piece of scum for everyone to worry about. You little prick!

 

by crabby
12-30-01
Go stab yourself right in the eye you no good cuntsplash. You only fail to see the negative in everything why can't you see the whole picture like only I can.
Hey LadyJ you've seemed a little on edge lately is everything ok.
Trapped Jesus in a can. Why can't you people stop being so narrow minded and see that everyone deserves to be yelled at. I'm simply stating my opinion that the whole alternate name thing is dumb.
Ok, but don't you think you could maybe turn it down a notch?
You think maybe you could go somewhere and die? Go back and reread everything and you'll see that everything I said is exactly right.
You know what I just went back and re read everything, but I don't wanna fight with you so I guess you were right about everything.

 

by crabby
1-01-02

 

A
by crabby
1-02-02

 

by crabby
1-02-02

 

by crabby
1-02-02

 

by crabby
1-02-02
If you ever become a rock star promise me I can be one of your groupies.
I met a girl online today.
What are you talking about? You said you left that whole cyber sex scene.
I thought I could but found it way to tempting.
I knew you'd get sucked in again WHORE!
I promise it'll never happen again.

 

by crabby
1-02-02
Who was that WHORE you were talking to at the market today?
It's was just an old friend from that all female softball league I was in. You need to calm down. Jealousy isn't sexy you know.
Oh really, is that so? Then maybe you'll find me beating the shit out of you to be sexier!
Please I didn't mean it like that. You said you'd never beat me again.
Why do you make it so hard to love you?
I do it cause I know you love a challenge baby.

 

by crabby
1-02-02
Why don't we go to the mueseum today?
Sorry I got a date.
You fucking WHOREit's one of those sluts you met online isn't it?
I met her at work and it's nothing sexual.
You know what because I love you Im gonna trust you this one time.
Your the only girl I need. Why would I cheat on you when your my whole world?

 

by crabby
1-02-02
So how was your date WHORE?
It was nice we went to a little Italian place and talked.
You fucked her didn't you?
Why would you say something like that?
I can smell it on your breath WHORE!
Please don't hit me in the face.

 

by crabby
1-02-02
I'm so glad I left that bitch. I should have left her years ago.
Yup. Now I can do whatever I want with whoever I want and no one can tell me what to do.
I'm so lonely.

 

by crabby
1-03-02
I fear my destiny is growing nearer.

 

by crabby
1-03-02
Hello everyone I'm Lisa Kudrow!
Screw you ho!

 

by crabby
1-03-02
I love you.
Who are you again?

 

by crabby
1-03-02

 

by crabby
1-03-02

 

by crabby
1-03-02

 

d
by crabby
1-03-02

 

by crabby
1-03-02

 

b
by crabby
1-03-02

 

a
by crabby
1-03-02

 

by crabby
1-03-02

 

by crabby
1-05-02
I'm never in any comics.
Your always in comics everyone loves you!
When do I get my chance to shine?
Your a fag!

 

by crabby
1-05-02

 

by crabby
1-08-02

 

by crabby
1-09-02
Son, how the hell did you end up outside in the snow?
I was at this wicked good kegger man this beer is awesome!
That's apple juice.
Well I'm not even a student here. I'm actually a someone else.
These punk freshman always trying to pull pranks on the old dean.
She doesn't suspect a thing.

 

by crabby
1-11-02
Now look here youngin' my Daddy was President and now I'm president. You can't just waddle over here and pleasure me orally.
You no president, election held by jury of your peers! They elect new leader.
Is it Gore please tell me it's not Gore.
Oh no, this one is a real winner #1 champ!
So your the new president?
Yes. Yes I am.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
You are fantastic. You need me just as much as I need you.
Why?
Can't you see it you fool? We are soul mates.
Being a robot do I truly have a soul?
I love you. You love me and that's all we need to get through the night.
These new concepts do not compute.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
I purchased you from a street mime and upon doing so I signed a contract which stated I would pledge my undying love for you as long as I shall live.
But what if I choose not to love you?
I'm afraid I cannot allow that to happen. Your mine and I'm never gonna let you go. I will never lose you.
So I can never go and see any of my other friends or ex lovers?
No you were programmed to please me orally and I'll be damned if your new robo vagina software is gonna be wasted on your ex lovers.
***WEEPING*** ***WEEPING*** ***WEEPING***

 

by crabby
1-19-02
You call that a robo vagina? That was the worst piece of robo snatch I've ever had!
Look I'm under alot of pressure lately I barely know you and you were way to rough. You gotta get me turned on first you can't just cram it in me.
Shut the fuck up! I can't believe I traded my soul to that street mime to get you your worthless.
What happened to you loving me?
I loved you when I thought you had some sweet robo snatch, now your just a waste. I gotta find someone that will be willing to take you off my hands.
I drift through life.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
I found a friend willing to take you away. I wasted one night of my life on you and I'm never going to get it back. My friend will be here to pick you up in the morning.
The new owner is here to pick me up. I wonder if he's an asshole like this last guy was. Perhaps the new owner will allow me to take night school classes.
Hello.
Hi.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
Alright well I'm just gonna throw this out right now. I'm a lesbian. You weren't purchased to perform homosexual robo favors on me. I hate dick.
I must never let him know that I actually have a robo vagina and not a robo cock.
So just so were on the same page why don't you pull out that robo tool for me to look at. That way we can get the awkwardness of our first shower together out of the way.
Your a mad man!
I'm getting a real strange vibe from you.
Does he realize that I was programmed for robo lesbian love. No matter what I must never please him orally. It would bring disgrace to the throne.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
You look like theres something on your mind.
May I please go visit some friends from my boyhood days on the farm.
Of course I'll be eagerly awaiting your return. Don't forget that if you attempt an escape I am part of the royal court of Denmark and I shall use all of the forces at my disposal to retrieve you.
Little does he know that I'm actually next in line for the crown of Denmark. However was forced into exile by the new king after he threatened my mother.
The time has come for my return to Denmark.
Let us move swiftly. The journey ahead shall be rough. The queen has been awaiting your return.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
Approach the queens quarters on cats feet. No one must know of your return to Denmark.
I thank you KILL BOT. I will please you orally before I leave.
Mother I have returned. I am planning on killing KING LOVE and taking my rightful place on the throne.
The books of future folk lore always said this day would come.
So it was written so it shall come to pass. First I must return to my current residence and finish up some family buisness.
God speed!

 

by crabby
1-19-02
I have returned.
So this is how I find out your a lesbian bot?
What do you mean?
Don't toy with me. You've been eating pussy all day.
How could you have found that out?
I can smell it on your breath.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
I have returned.
So this is how I find out your a lesbian bot?
What do you mean?
Don't toy with me. You've been eating pussy all day.
How could you have found that out?
I can smell it on your breath.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
As a member of the royal court of Denmark I sentence you to death by mauling.
FOOL! Do you not recognize me at all.
Why should I recognize you your nothing but a lesbian bot?
It is all a hoax. This lesbian bot costume is all a hoax. After KING LOVE threatened to kill my mother if I didn;t leave Denmark I had to adopt the personality of a robo lesbian.
You vile beast show your true face!
It is I Prince Assumesalot. I am returning to Denmark to kill King love and assume my rightful place on the throne. First however I must kill you.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
King Love I have returned to Denmark to kill you and take my rightful place on the throne.
Over my dead body!
That was kind of what I had planned old man.
Your mad assumesalot mad!
Drink this nerve tonic and die!
Alas I have drunk your nerve tonic and now I am slowly dieing.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
Assumesalot before I die and you take the throne there is something I must tell you.
What is it?
I was told by KILL BOT that you were making your return to Denmark to kill me. After I heard the news I immediately killed you mother and devoured her life force.
You fiend!
One more thing you need to know Assumesalot ...........I AM YOUR FATHER!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by crabby
1-19-02
Woe is me! How could I be the offspring of such a vile beast. He feels he has won but it is I however who won in the end. My final triumph is truly my ultimate triumph.
King Love was aware of the prophecies that were always kept from my mother. The prophecies stated that I would assume a role as a lesbian robot for several years and then return to Denmark.
Upom arriving in Denmark I would kill the king and then devour my mothers life force. King Love thought he could prevent this by eating her life force first. However he was wrong.

 

by crabby
1-19-02
Woe is me! How could I be the offspring of such a vile beast. He feels he has won but it is I however who won in the end. My final triumph is truly my ultimate triumph.
King Love was aware of the prophecies that were always kept from my mother. The prophecies stated that I would assume a role as a lesbian robot for several years and then return to Denmark.
Upom arriving in Denmark I would kill the king and then devour my mothers life force. King Love thought he could prevent this by eating her life force first. However he was wrong.
After drinking the nerve tonic I poisned him with King Love began to feverishly shit himself. I then devoured his shit therefore devouring my mothers soul which was earlier devoured by King Love.
With my mothers life force flowing through me I feel the strength of one million KILL BOTS flowing through me. I don't think I can contain this power. I am weak and the power will consume me.
I must drink the nerve tonic. The tonic is working I can feel myself fading to the next world. My last order as king before I die is that KILL BOT assume the throne when I seize to exist. Farewell!

 

by crabby
1-20-02
I received a letter in the mail today.
Oh really, sounds odd. I think you better let me read it.
You can read it but I'm leaving town.
According to this your not legally allowed to leave town.
That's what's wrong with kids these days. No respect.

 

by crabby
1-22-02
I can't sevice you. Your an OX!
If I wasn't so stiff and rigid looking I'd make you pay for that.
RAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
If I wasn't so stiff and rigid looking I'd make you pay for that.
At least your not falling forward.
If I wasn't so stiff and rigid looking I'd make you pay for that.

 

by crabby
1-23-02
Oh christmas tree why do you mock me?
As a miniature robot I was never programmed to understand the holiday which you represent!
Oh christmas tree why do you mock me?

 

by crabby
1-23-02
Oh christmas tree why do you mock me?
As a miniature robot I was never programmed to understand the holiday which you represent.
I shall go ask the robo-village elders for help on this issue. Perhaps they were programmed to understand the warm glowing glow of the christmas holiday.

 

by crabby
1-23-02
Robo-Clown do you understand the christmas season or does the haunting glow of the christmas tree haunt you as well.
This game has gone on long enough! I'm not a robot. Your the only robot that lives here in robo-village.
That doesn't make any sense at all. If there's no other robots here then why is it named robo-village.
It's just a name. They let some 3rd graders pick it back in 88' we used to be known as stinksville.
Ok I guess that sort of makes sense. But if no one else here is a robot then why is everyone here so cold and distant towards me.
Well to tell you the truth none of us really like you.

 

by crabby
1-23-02
Oh you cruel cruel tree you. Why do you mock me with your haunting glow.
Is there no way for me to escape your evil glow. It consumes me and fills me with the hate of a million suns.
I will have to consult my maker professor biscuit. Perhaps he can tell me how to put an end to your bastard light.

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