All comics by finn34

Profile

 

by finn34
5-25-07
I'm not trying to say you're gay or anything. But you suck cocks.
For free.
On the weekends.

 

by finn34
5-25-07
you ever take a shit that makes you feel young again?
because i feel about 10 years old right now.

 

by finn34
5-28-07
I am the High King of Shitting on the Carpet
I know, I remember that party.

 

I think you gave me a blank CD
Nope. That's my new favorite genre they call it "hyperminimalism" after the first hour, there's a horn solo.
by finn34, 5-31-07

 

by finn34
7-24-07
Just think about this :
What kind of sounds does Bjork make while fucking?
You've just imagined the sound of Chaos

 

by finn34
10-19-07
Long time no see, man. Where've you been?
Grad school, band practice, all that stuff. How about you? What have you been up to?
The usual, you know...
Three hits of mescaline, a handfull of Crisco and your sister's dildo collection?
No... That's only for special occasions.

 

by finn34
10-19-07
So who are you voting for this coming election?
Oh I don't know...
Do I vote for the idealistic wife of a former president, an inexperienced black Senator from Illinois, a cross-dresser from New York or a Mormon?
Yeah, who am I kidding... Mike Gravel all the way.

 

by finn34
10-28-07
Butthole voodoo.
What?
Butthole voodoo.
That's great. I still don't know what that means.
It means meet me in the bathroom.

 

by finn34
10-28-07
Hey. I'm gonna fuck your mouth. Did you know that?
Hold on a sec...
Jerry! Another beer, please.
Alright. Now where are we gonna do this?

 

by finn34
11-07-07
You know it just occured to me. We don't ever leave this bar. It's like we live here.
I wish.
Listen, my apartment is full of old '45s, empty beer cans and used condoms.
If we lived here, It would be like the fucking Ritz Carlton comparitively.

 

by finn34
11-07-07
So I heard all the writers in LA are going on strike. Something about not getting a cut of DVD sales...
Man, fuck them.
If them going on strike means I'll never see another episode of "Reaper", I couldn't be happier.
It also means Steven Colbert and John Stewart won't be writing either.
That's it! We're going to LA!

 

by finn34
11-12-07
Do you remember summer camp?
Hey kid, show me your balls and i'll give you a dollar.
Nope.

 

by finn34
11-12-07
Do you remember that crazy old man, lived down the street from your mom's house?
I invented vitamins. True Story.
Not ringing any bells.

 

by finn34
11-12-07
Hey, do you remember a time when "Family Guy" was funny?
Nope.

 

by finn34
11-16-07
So what do you want for Christmas?
I hereby declare you, King of Santaland!
The usual.

 

by finn34
11-17-07
HIYOOOOOOO!!
Stupid temps.

 

by finn34
11-25-07
HIYOOOOOOOO
HIYOOOOOOOO
HIYOOOOOOOO
Maybe I should go back to school.

 

by finn34
11-25-07
Nice to finally see your house, Mitch.
Nice to finally have you over for dinner.
Does your wife usually hang from the ceiling draped in nothing but a bathrobe?
I don't know. That there's my grandma.

 

by finn34
11-25-07
Someone on the forum wants all racist talk and comics to stop.
There goes mandingo's career.

 

by finn34
11-26-07
The neighbor lady up the street got real mad when I put my trash in her dumpster.
Probably should have chopped that hobo up a little smaller.

 

by finn34
11-26-07
I heard they're making a National Treasure sequel.
Goddamnit!
If I find out who greenlighted that douche-fest of a film, I'm going to their momma's house and kicking their dog!
That dog is innocent!
SO WHAT? MY RAGE IS UNCONTROLLABLE!!!!!

 

by finn34
11-26-07
I recently bought "Clive Barker's Jericho"
If I wanted a linear story and a torrent of identical enemies, I'd still be playing "Doom"

 

by finn34
11-26-07
I'm extremely good at coding when I'm drunk, so I started this little experiment.
Three days ago, I locked myself in here with a case of Kentucky bourbon and a copy of Visual C++
I came to with a breathtaking hangover and a marriage license that says I'm married to Jade Raymond.

 

This secret weapon will give more power to your little general
by finn34, 11-26-07

 

by finn34
11-27-07
Tell me more about this structure, strange humanoid.
This wall? Oh, it was built back in 122 by the Roman emperor Hadrian.
Really?
Really.
What about that structure, the one all the other humanoids are flocking to?
Oh, that's a Wal-Mart

 

by finn34
12-05-07
You started crying again and I found myself unable to give a damn.
It's not my fault your cat wasn't flame retardant.

 

by finn34
12-19-07
Mommy, why am I so "different" from the other little boys?
Mommy?
Sorry, what was the question?

 

by finn34
1-15-08
Welcome back to the World Drinking Federation : LIVE! 2008. You have a big day coming up, champ, how do you prepare for the hardscrabble day ahead?
THAT'S EASY VINCE
I USUALLY START OUT WITH A FRESH PILAF WRAP AND A HIGH COLONIC, THEN I POUND AN ENERGY BAR AND TAKE A NAP. I TOP IT OFF WITH A NIGHT OF BINGE DRINKING.
Wow. Real dedication to your craft
BEING A BARFLY ISN'T EASY, VINCE.

 

by finn34
1-24-08
You were choking that shit down like Ashley Blue. Color me impressed.
Choke that meat down! Eat it!
BAOK *WHF* OH God...
I bet you can't eat a dozen 4x4s from In-N-Out burger
Haha. Get ready to pay up, bitch!

 

by finn34
1-24-08
Sir, I represent the FBI, please explain what you saw in the sky that night.
I should warn you, I'm armed.
Sir, there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm not here to threaten or bully you.
I've heard that one before.
Have we met?
Yep. "To Catch A Predator" Convention 2005. You tasered me in the balls.

 

by finn34
1-29-08
Why do you keep telling me that story?
I need an adult!
Hey. You look like a sexy little chick-a-dee... Wanna spread your wings over at my place?

 

by finn34
2-12-08
Alright, you see that guy down there?
The one about to jump off a bridge?
Yeah. He's kind of a douche, but you need to get down there and help him.
I thought he was a degenerate gambler with a meth addiction?
That's right. Here's a kilo of Crystal and a pair of loaded dice.
Ohh, there must be some easier way for me to get my wings.

 

And then I lit a bunsen burner and turned up the heat to 100* Kelvin
You wanna hear about hot? I've got an autoclave that'll turn your left arm into Corned Beef.
by finn34, 5-05-08

 

MARMADUKE!!!!
by finn34, 5-05-08

 

Courtney Love IS Gertrude Stein IN "Feministing : The Motion Picture"
by finn34, 5-05-08

 

by finn34
5-05-08
Okay... if I'm right, Debbie's desk should be right above this spot...
Hold it right there!
Were you seriously planning on dropping this here ceiling on that nice young lady by the name of Debbie? The one in accounting?
She did bring a fruitcake to the potluck...
Aye, drop away, my son.

 

by finn34
12-16-08
Drill baby drill
If you know what I mean.

 

by finn34
9-03-10
what the hell ever happened to Orange Soda?
Dude was funny, then he just disappeared for like 2 years.
Who are you and how the hell did you get in my kitchen?

 

by finn34
9-19-10
Christine O'Donnell for Senate.
That's the joke.

 

by finn34
9-19-10
Jack Johnson's album is "Sleep Thru The Static"
More like "Slept Thru Your Album"
Goddamnit, I missed you so much.

 

by finn34
5-03-11
So. Osama Bin Laden is dead.
Yep.
Who cares about Bin Laden? Saddam Hussein's the real guy. Bush said so, I believe it!
Where'd you go, there?
Hm? Oh, just thinking...

 

by finn34
5-03-11
WANNA ROLEPLAY?
_REAL GIRLS_ READY TO MEET YOU AND DUEL!
CALL 1-888-AZEROTH *must be specced for PVP*

Showing page 6.

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