All comics by mandingo

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by mandingo
8-12-05
*sniff* *sniff* i think a piece of cheese fell on the kitchen floor and they didn't notice it
let's go up that pipe and get it
up the pipe we go
where we'll stop, nobody knows!
down the toilet we go
YOU NOTICE US, BUT NOT A HALF POUND BLOCK OF CHEESE AT YOUR FEET??

 

by mandingo
8-12-05
i bah have bah an idea bah
what bah?
i have an idea to get the cheese
let's do it!
down the toilet we go
YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST FLUSHED FIRST!

 

by mandingo
8-12-05
this bah one bah is foolproof bah
what bah?
this one is foolproof.
let's do it!
down the toilet we go
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE EAT?

 

by mandingo
8-12-05
the cheese
ah, finally the cheese
our mission is complete
now I am happy
wake bah up bah you're dreaming bah!
so bah very happy bah

 

hi, i heard about the waste management opening
are you here to fill it?
by mandingo, 8-12-05

 

want to cyber?
omg rame
by mandingo, 8-12-05

 

i shat in a bleeding heart's mouth today. then i told him that if you treat zealots with decency, they'll put aside centuries of religious dogma and respond in kind. guess what? he swallowed that shit
by mandingo, 8-13-05

 

by mandingo
8-13-05
Mr. Smith?
yes
i'm afraid we had to amputate your wife's legs
you must have the wrong Mr. Smith. my wife is in labor
we couldn't save the baby's legs either

 

by mandingo
8-13-05
me
...and that's why they're all dead.

 

by mandingo
8-13-05
did you see anything?
i saw my hands around his throat. i saw my hands around the witnesses throats too
why'd you do it, kid?
ME? I didn't do it. HE did it. HE won too many contests...
...and that's why they're all dead.

 

by mandingo
8-13-05
i'm afraid i had to amputate your wife's leg
why???
it was the only way i could save her
BUT YOU'RE A DENTIST!!!
no, sir. i'm the janitor

 

i redecorated the bathroom!
by mandingo, 8-15-05

 

by mandingo
8-15-05
i can't believe Kratz is dead. he was the finest man i've ever known. a poor German immigrant, he pulled himself up by the bootstraps, emassing millions from shoving people up his ass
remember that time he shoved the president up his ass? the vice president said, 'keep him there. i'm president now!' jokingly of course. but Kratz plopped him back out, giving his signature handshake
oh my! that young lady just shoved Kratz's dead body up her ass! look at that form! it's perfect!
and there she goes, plopping him back into the coffin! perfect!
young lady! you honor Kratz today! who are you??
i'm the heiress to Kratz!

 

nightcap?
it's getting late
by mandingo, 8-15-05

 

die, bum!
you've changed, Superman
by mandingo, 8-15-05

 

by mandingo
8-15-05
grand lord of the dark dominion, party of one, grand lord of the dark dominion
be nice if she gave a last name

 

by mandingo
8-16-05
give me your money or die horribly
OK, just don't shoot!
YOU DARE COMMIT A CRIME ON MY WATCH??
oh no! its Lumberjack Man!
hey, Tanya. i hear you ran into some no good thug earlier, but Lumberjack Man came and saved the day
Rich, we all know you're Lumberjack Man. you're the only other midget within 100 miles

 

by mandingo
8-17-05
turn around, Bob
no
Bob, turn around
no
Bob, i'm going to eat you whether you turn around or not, wouldn't you rather turn around?
no

 

by mandingo
8-17-05
then if we strike it rich, we'll go to our love cabin in the woods
you are an incorrigible flirt!
no, i'm not!
oh really? love cabin in the woods? hmm? explain that one!
i'm leaving you!

 

by mandingo
8-18-05
Interesting news out of Hollywood today. A certain celebrity found themself in a bit of a pickle.
I'm sure you've all heard about it, but now we're going to find out what you think about it. Stew Stewman asks the man on the street. Stew?

 

why does everyone always call me cockspray?
i think it's because you spit when you talk and you're a dick
by mandingo, 8-18-05

 

by mandingo
8-19-05
this room needs more cock sucking
this room needs more cock sucking
this room is JUST right
what have i done?

 

♫ Harrerujah ♫
by mandingo, 8-19-05

 

that's an affirmative, Houston. zero g lynching complete
by mandingo, 8-21-05

 

1!!!!!! 2!!!!!! 3!!!!!!! 4!!!!!!!!
i declare a thumb war
by mandingo, 8-22-05

 

by mandingo
8-22-05
honey, could you get the phone, i'm letting out a seam on something i just bought
why not save all the hassle and just buy a bigger bedsheet?
it's not a bedsheet, is it?
machine'll get it

 

by mandingo
8-22-05
what do you think?
i think i'm glad they don't charge by the square foot
what do you think?
help! buttzilla!
what do you think?
i think it makes you look like a 12-year-old Thai whore

 

the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that
MORE BEERNUTS, BITCH!
by mandingo, 8-22-05

 

find it aready!
by mandingo, 8-24-05

 

by mandingo
8-24-05
i said hamburger
you said cheeseburger

 

by mandingo
8-25-05
really, i just need some sun, that's all

 

by mandingo
8-26-05
welcome to Happy Burger!

 

by mandingo
8-26-05
Ronald, i love you, but i must break up with you
Jessica, why!
my father will never accept our love. he's from a different era
Jessica, this is love we're talking about! fuck your father!
no, young man. fuck YOU!

 

the adjudicating cow
moo
GET THESE HANDCUFFS OFF ME!
by mandingo, 8-27-05

 

as in up the
what do you mean it's been a peeled?
by mandingo, 8-27-05

 

by mandingo
8-28-05
what up, my nigga
nuttin, nuttin
you hear about Steve?
what happened?
that nigga got his butt smoked
they snuffed Steve??

 

by mandingo
8-30-05
Interesting news out of Hollywood today. A certain celebrity found themself in a bit of a pickle.
I'm sure you've all heard about it, but now we're going to find out what you think about it. Stew Stewman asks the man on the street. Stew?
so, sir, are you feeling bad for Madonna?
Madonna? she instigated it! i feel bad for the sheep!

 

by mandingo
8-30-05
in the beginning, there was the word, and the word was God.
what about the end?
come again?
if the word came at the beginning, what comes at the end?
carnies. lots and lots of carnies.

 

by mandingo
8-31-05
2 years ago...
vote me mayor of new orleans and i'll wash away crime!
boy, that fucker wasn't kidding
backstroke race you to the prison cafeteria!

 

what up, foo
quiet, i'm listening to P Diddy
by mandingo, 8-31-05

 

bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy
cancer cancer cancer cancer
by mandingo, 8-31-05

 

Not only are we going to New Hampshire, Tom Harkin, we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York...
And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C., to take back the White House! Yeeeaah!!!
by mandingo, 8-31-05

 

pssst... wanna buy a book?
by mandingo, 9-01-05

 

by mandingo
9-01-05
uh oh, it's Ms. Ivy
back to work, niggers!

 

by mandingo
9-02-05
Bruce!
yes.
Bruce, it's me, your long lost father!
yes, i know.
Bruce, don't you have anything to say?? it's me!!
just a little off the top, pops

 

shobow yobour tibits!!
by mandingo, 9-03-05

 

by mandingo
9-04-05
let's start over

 

by mandingo
9-05-05
hey, Joe. i hear you took Betty to the baseball game yesterday.
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i'm surprised Frank didn't mind, him being the jealous type and all
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i hear that. but still, watch out for him. he's a hothead, you know
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by mandingo
9-05-05
Joe, Frank here! did you take Betty to a baseball game yesterday!
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don't give me that "just friends" shit, Joe, i wasn't born yesterday
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a valid point. i'm sorry, Joe. you've always been a good friend to me
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by mandingo
9-05-05
i'm going off to war, Joe, but i'm scared. real scared. i could use a pep talk
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Showing page 6.

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