All comics by Chuckaduck

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by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
Nice Lady: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Chester: You want to suck my vein yourself?
Nice Lady: Oh, you're horrid! What is wrong with you?!
Chester: You're a whore and want it in the dookiechute?
Nice Lady: I'm about to scream!
Chester: Hey, if you want to taste my cream that's fine by me.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
Later...
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: And then what did she do?
Chester: Ran crying from the fucking room. It was awesome. But not nearly as awesome as the whol "I vow to stay by that boy's side and undo what you've done" cry as she was fleeing. Hilarious!
8 Year Old Chucky: Whoa, you came back.
Nice Lady: Yes I most certainly did. You're a lost little boy who needs help, and I'm just the person to do it.
8 Year Old Chucky: Is my boner that obvious.
Nice Lady: Poor thing..........and yes it is.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: You wanna hear some more jokes?
Nice Lady: Maybe later. Let's do something more positive right now. Tell me about something you like?
8 Year Old Chucky: I like jokes!
Nice Lady: Great, but what's something else?
8 Year Old Chucky: I like the fact that your vibrator's been buzzing around in your purse for the last ten minutes and you haven't noticed. How's that?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: What can we do now?
Nice Lady: Um, okay, how about we discuss what you may be feeling right now.
8 Year Old Chucky: My balls.
Nice Lady: That's not what I meant. I meant to ask how are you feeling?
8 Year Old Chucky: Softly because they're my balls and you have to be gentle.
Nice Lady: *Sigh* This is going to take a while.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: You wanna hear about the time I found a stash of porn maga...
Nice Lady: No! No. That's okay. How about we discuss what you're thinking about right now.
8 Year Old Chucky: I'm thinking about why some guys say sheep are better than women cuz they don't have a gag reflex, and yet I just saw you deepthroat your 12 inch dildo while fingering your twat.
Nice Lady: So, know any good jokes?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: What has 4 eyes but no face?
Nice Lady: Mississippi?
8 Year Old Chucky: No, you with spunk covering your entire face. Now, why did Tony go out with a prune?
Nice Lady: Because he couldn't find a date!
8 Year Old Chucky: Close, because your sister was arrested for prostitution so he settled for you.
Nice Lady: We have a long way to go.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: What washes up on very small beaches?
Nice Lady: Microwaves!
8 Year Old Chucky: Um, sure.
Rock on! 300th strip! Yayness to fullest!
8 Year Old Chucky: So, I take it you haven't heard about the bodies.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Nice Lady: Because they dropped out of school.
8 Year Old Chucky: No, because your vagina stinks. What do you give a dog with a fever?
Nice Lady: Hah. Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
8 Year Old Chucky: Oh, I was going to say a bullet in the head, but that's good too.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: How do you tease fruit?
Nice Lady: You say, banananananananana!
8 Year Old Chucky: No, you say, haha you're a fag!
Nice Lady: That's inappropriate.
8 Year Old Chucky: No, it's mean. Talking about your genitalia to nuns is inappropriate.
Nice Lady: I see.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: What is the center of gravity?
Nice Lady: The letter V!
8 Year Old Chucky: Really? I was thinking it was your mouth. Cocks seem to just get sucked into there.
8 Year Old Chucky: What.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-07-05
8 Year Old Chucky: What did the police officer say about the little boy?
Nice Lady: Hmm, I don't know that one. What DID the police officer say about the little boy?
8 Year Old Chucky: Bitch, I'M askin' YOU! What did that muthafuck say about me?!

 

by Chuckaduck
4-15-05
8 Year Old Chucky: Ms. Lady, can we have one of those student/teacher affairs?
Nice Lady: No. That is wrong and would be highly inappropriate.
8 Year Old Chucky: Oh. Michael Jackson dangling a baby over a balchony inappropriate or Ashton Kutcher's mere existance inappropriate?
Nice Lady: I'd say more Anything involving Paris Hilton inappropriate.
8 Year Old Chucky: ...............it would help matters if you'd TURN OFF THAT FUCKING VIBRATOR JIGGLING AROUND IN YOUR GODDAMN PURSE!

 

by Chuckaduck
4-15-05
Chester: Say Matt. Do you ever think we're too hard on other people we consider infirior due to their stupidity and misunderstanding of the truth?
MattMan: You mispelt "inferior" you ignorant shite. You should be beaten accordingly. You disgust me and I wish you out of my sight.
Chester: Duly noted.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-15-05
Chester: Say Matt. Do you ever think we're too hard on other people we consider inferior due to their stupidity and misunderstanding of the truth?
MattMan: I'm sorry, I was sniping this amateur fuck on Medal of Honor. He was on my team but he's cannon fodder among online gaming elite so I blew his ass away. You were saying?
Chester: Nope, nothing. Carry on good sir!

 

by Chuckaduck
4-15-05
Chester: Say Matt, do you think that Chuck in general should have had a longer run in the single life?
MattMan: That depends. How many women have you had sex with in the past two years?
Chester: Um.... ......one.
MattMan: Then yes.
???

 

by Chuckaduck
4-15-05
Chester: It's not like I, personally, had a lot of say in the whole engagement. It was all robogeek's doing.
MattMan: Dude, whatever. You know damn well at the time of him and her dating you couldn't wait to get some of that.
Chester: .......
MattMan: Ha! Thought so. Peasant.
I need to get high.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-15-05
*Not real. Don't look for it. And if you considered, go figure out how it is you manage to breath.
MattMan: Dude, check it out Chuck. Tyler's on MSN Street Question of the Day*.
Chester: Yeah?
Frivolous Reporter: So sir, what is your personal opinion on the movie 28 Days Later?
Ty-Lor: It's better because the zombies run so its more realistic.*
*Actual comment made by Tyler.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-19-05
A consideration.
MattMan: "Next you should try not breathing air like everybody else does, those conformist fucks." That's pretty good I guess.
Chester: Yeah. Awesome stuff. Next time I consider growing some sideburns to alter my characteristics I'll just try that instead. I'll likely initiate the same procedure the next time I sign something
MattMan: So what about the idea of not including names in the bubbles?
Chester: That would be change. We fear change.
Not to mention I decide what changes if anything.
MattMan: That narrator incarnation is a real hardass and prick sometimes, y'know?
Chester: Perhaps you should just tell him to stop asserting any sign of individuality on how he does things and tell him to stop breathing in a clever way.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-19-05
MattMan: You've passed the three-hundred mark on strips. And while all the smartasses and critics came out when you publicly requested feedback, they do have a point. This isn't Final Fantasy.
Chester: But I like Final Fantasy. And we get messages from folks that like things the way they are. We're different.
MattMan: Yeah, you DO need to remember you are unique... ......just like everyone else.
Chester: Hey screw you. I still like the Final Fantasy balloon dialogue arrangement.
MattMan: Yeah, Final Fantasy is a great gaming series.
Chester: ........what is this "game" you speak of?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-19-05
MattMan: So, I take it the names will remain in the balloons?
Chester: Yes. These strips are for my personal amusement and that of friends. Would anyone from said group of friends recognize a floating glob of splooge as Richdawg right off the bat?
MattMan: I guess not. But you could still give it a shot. At this point they'd know I'm thinking. It wouldn't be THAT hard to start talking without names in the balloons.
Chester: How do you figure?
Look, it's easy as shit.
Chester: WHO SAID THAT!?!

 

by Chuckaduck
4-19-05
...so they make a good point. Perhaps you'd consider removing names from dialogue bubbles?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: See now, you're under the impression that I'm producing this crap to cater to assholes I know nothing about and care nothing for.
Okay, fine, don't be progressive. But did you have to insults everyone here with that remark?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: You know what, you label-removing patron, you're right. I'll have to make a public annoucement.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Readers, I'm now making the public announcement of, "eat me you unaccepting of some tiny original style bastards." How's that.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-19-05
Tell me Chuckles, do you consider yourself better than most people?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Yes.
And would you care to be known as an "ar-teest" type by continuing to include labels that, while were a good form of style and perhaps needed at one point, are outdated?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Well, um, no.
It's my opinion that continuing to use names in the dialogue boxes would rank you in the social class of those that build homes in nice areas but later rebuild in the same area after a flood.
I see.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-19-05
Attention Land of Chuckdom, home of the Inner Struggle series. From henceforth, no names are to be used in dialogue bubbles. Thank you.
Ultra Smooth Chuck: Dude, you can NOT do that. Especially right now.
Why the fuck not, may I ask?
Ultra Smooth Chuck: Because this deaf girl I'm fucking won't know who's name to scream out... ....badly.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-20-05
Look at this, here's a great suggestion for you to consider. "Why not just put a list of your cast in your profile then stop taking shit for the names showing up?"
Hmm, a wonderful idea. Sucks that no one digs the style though, quite frankly.
Some did... .....hey! Look at this. You've got four ratings from people actually paying for this shit.
Really..... .....what!?! "Terrible. Keep trying.", "Terrible. Don't keep trying.".
Hey, you got a star. You'd be all the rage in Kindergarten.
Man, these people are positive.... ...in a STD infectee kind of way.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-20-05
*knock, knock*
Hey there ugly, just wanted to get your personal opinion on this "no names in the balloons" thing.
Chester: ...........goddamnit! WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Back in the classroom...
Hey! Y'wanna hear the one about the thirteen year old hooker with a missing arm and a missing leg?
No, thank you, that's really not necessary. I do have an idea though. How about going on a field trip? Would that be fun?
Are you coming on to me? Cuz for the record I have no desire to crawl into that gaping vagina of yours.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
What's big, grey, heavy and wears glass slippers?
Cinderellaphant?
No, your mother.
Chester: *Sniff* It's just not the same.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
How does the moon cut its hair?
E-clipse it!
Wow, you clip your ass hair? Good for you.
You know it's not nice to be so insulting of others.
I'm sorry..........you want me to break down and sob into your lap? [size=1]Whore[/size]

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
What did we learn today?
That we can't use font sizing the same way we can in the forums.
And what else?
Given that you claim your farts smell like sunshine, the sun apparently sticks of cabbage and b.o.
I'll break you yet.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Can I ask you something young man?
Yeah but only if you promise to douche that jism pit tonight so I don't have to smell that skunky shit tomorrow.
I'm sorry, did you hear me? Perhaps my words could not penetrate the cloud of stench pouring out of that sinful hole of yours.
Stay calm. He comes from a rough household. He NEEDS your help. You are a caring person and will NOT get upset. Valium. Need more valium...

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
So, what did you want to ask me?
How was your home life before you were ripped from your awful father's clutches?
Um, are you on crack? My dad's the coolest drunk ever, my mommy loves me, I'm still living at home, and you never answered as to whether you'd be cleaning that stinky fuckhole. Your vagina sticnks too
!?!
HAHAHAHA!!

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Hehehe...
HEY! What's this I hear about little Chucky not being removed from his apparently loving home?!
Oh, I'm sorry, *snicker*, did he try that with you as well? He's just messing with you I'm afraid. But if you'd care to resign...
No! No. That won't be necessary. I guess he got me. I'll stay and help... ...just wish he'd stop saying my vagina stinks.
It doesn't?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
I just can't imagine the life the boy has led to make him so vile.
I wonder if she's wearing a thong under there.
He just does not share enough to allow proper insight to his past.
Nah, no thong. That gulping vagina would likely have swallowed it entirely.. ...which would mean she has on NOTHING... .......do we use the word "vagina" too much?
I don't suppose I could have another talk with the boy's father?
Done.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
"Oh yeah, slide it all the way in. Ooooooo.."
Hey Chester.
Chester: WHAT!? Dude, DUDE! You canNOT just pipe in like that! *Click*
It's easier for me, deal with it... Were you watching Design on a Dime again?
Chester: .......Yes.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Chester: You wanted to see me Captain Buttmunch?
Yeah. I need for you to pretend to be little Chucky's father again.
Chester: .........*Sigh*, assuming YOU said that, sure thing. I love fucking with that lady.
One condition.
Chester: What?
Lose the name in the balloon. We're not doing that anymore.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Chester: How do I know it's really you without some identifier?
Eat me shite.
Chester: Okay, good start. But I'm not dropping the nametag. It's an intricate part to the Inner Struggle and I won't sellout.
I'll buy you that ostrich you've been wanting if you stop.
Okay.
Sellout.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Well hello mister.......good lord!
*thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp*
For pete's sake put some pants on and stop molesting yourself!
*thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp*
Hey, I'm cool with it. And I prefer the name Peter.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Sir, I just wanted to speak with you about your son.
*thwp, thwp, thwp* Ah man, you're wearing open-toed shoes. I love toes. *thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp*
I need to know more about the life he had in your home.
*thwp, thwp, thwp* That's where I keep all my porn. *thwp, thwp, thwp*
For fucksake! Please stop masturbating! Did you do that in front of him?!
*thwp* Holy crap lady, no, never. What do I look like? Some sicko?................*thwp, thwp, thwp*

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
I'm beginning to understand where his foulness comes from.
Speaking of "coming from", do you smell something?
If you're attempting to imply my vagina smells less than fresh, don't bother, your son has covered every insultive joke in the book on that one.
Um...I was implying that fragrance apparently coming from the candle burning on that desk actually. It's quite nice.
I'm so sorry.
No reason to apologize. The candle covers that rotten milk smell coming from your pink taco very effectively.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
What's up dude.
Man, I'm having a great time with that nice lady. I'm expecting her to lose it any day now. Wierd thing happened today though, she cut class short.
She wanted to meet with your dad, so I arranged to have Chester fuck with her.
EXCUSE ME?! YOU DID WHAT FUCKFACE?!
.....oh...dear.........lord...
...so that's when I found out I was really into cumshot flicks. Man, just thinking about it... ...mind if I beat off again?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Oh crap! Not again!
Do you hear something?
No, nothing.
It's a buzzing sound.....and I think it's coming from your purse.
You must be mistaken.
Do you have a dildo in your bag?!

 

by Chuckaduck
4-21-05
Crap! How dare that fuck pose as my daddy! Where the hell are they?!
.....................
Are you okay? Having regrets?
....................I can't believe that just happened.
And I can't believe you've never taken it up the dookiechute before. You enjoyed that part waaaaay too much for your first time.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-22-05
The Return of Married Autobot Chuck!
Married Autobot Chuck: Yay me!
Married Autobot Chuck: Um...........hello?
Dude, drop the nametag and get in here. We're doing a phonecall scene.
Married Autobot Chuck: I'm only here as a prop?
Deal with it. Now come on in and do that gay transforming thing.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-22-05
*Ring, ring.*
Man that's a gay ring.
*Click* Farmer Chuck: Hello?
Dude, it's Chester, I just got through fucking Chucky's teacher!
Farmer Chuck: Chester? He's not here man.
Put the bong down!

 

by Chuckaduck
4-22-05
Farmer Chuck: Hello?
Are you even listening to what I'm saying? I fucked that nice lady!
Farmer Chuck: Man, you ever think about the phone, I mean really thought about it man? Just think, all these words passing through a wire man. A wire!
Quit being a dipshit, put down the pipe, and fucking comprehend what I'm saying!
Farmer Chuck: Well say man I didn't mean to bug you or nothin'. I'll let you go, you sound busy.
I called YOU!!

 

by Chuckaduck
4-22-05
Farmer Chuck: Whoa man. I'm hearin' like thunder or sumthin'. Hehe.
*bam, bam, bam*
I can see the flashing lights, lit before your love, ohh, gotta hear the thunder roar, coming from above!
*bash, bash, bash*
Open the fucking door you hemphead!

 

by Chuckaduck
7-13-05
Howdy. After a break, I'm here to let you know the Inner Struggle is back.
If it's a good thing for you, cool. If you could care less, why're you still reading? If you don't like the Inner Struggle, get bent, go fuck yerself, and tape the act so I can jerk off later.
...what do YOU want?
They put in a new gumball machine downstairs and I need change. Drop trou and a little head?

 

by Chuckaduck
7-13-05
So, did you call me here to insult me or is there actually something important behind this.
...I got my girlfriend pregnant.
Um...well.........you're fucking with me, aren't you.
Shit yeah, I could never get my girlfriend pregnant... ...you're wife only lets me give it to her up the dookiechute.

 

by Chuckaduck
7-13-05
Really, I love these two guys.
Why are you such a dick?
Dunno. It's easy?
So you admit you're a dick.
Absotively posilutely.
I could make the comment of 'you are what you eat' now if I wanted to y'know.
I'm your wife's vagina covered in honey with sprinkles?

 

by Chuckaduck
7-13-05
Let's say you DID get your girlfriend, who is NOT my wife, pregnant. What would you want, out of curiosity?
To have sex with your wife's sister.
Seriously, what would you want?
To fuck Jessica Alba while Beyonce gets eaten out by her, and all the while have my hole plugged with Thalia's tongue.
I really, really can't talk to you.
You should have stopped trying at Inner Struggle 2 to be honest.

Showing page 7.

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