All comics by JESUSSANDWICH

Profile

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-27-06
So I just smoke this stuff?
Yeah and then you let it happen.
I dont think its WORKHGKJHIOPJHGKNBDJHGJNDKMHGNCMGB
yOu ()K?!?!!?!?
30 MINUTES LATER
Well, I guess I know everything thanks for giving me nothing to live for.
You are welcome sir.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-27-06
Your really cute.
Thanks
You're a really pretty flashing light.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-30-06
Hey man when are these things gonna kick in?
Any time now.
I think I am starting to feel it.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-30-06
Holy shit, this is some good pot.
I know.
I am gonna go eat all the food.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-30-06
I used to rail lines of Oxycotin and Vicodin
I would wait a while for it to kick in.
Then I would have my friends take turns kicking me in the nuts.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-30-06
Ok, I am now inhaling.
WHOOOOOO!
*Thud*

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-30-06
I remember another time, when I wanted to hallucinate but the best we could do was cough syrup.
I only remember that night because it was I coined my favorite phrase.
Because I was up for two hours screaming "Somebody kill me!"

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-30-06
People always ask me what adderall is really like.
I simply slap them across the face and say
"imagine that happening constantly and you got the basic idea"

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-30-06
Thats what I do all the time it because I want to do it that way.
*thud*

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-30-06
Lets do some coke!
Ok.
a little bit later
Lets do more coke!
Ok.

 

This is a puppet on a date with a christmas tree.
Hows the food here?
Its good but not as good as the other place.
by JESUSSANDWICH, 1-31-06

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-07-06
Crabby that's it I am confessing my undying love for you.
You would.
Poser.

 

Crabby I don't know why you hate me all I have is endless respect for you.
Yeah you and all the other poser dipshits.
by JESUSSANDWICH, 2-07-06

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-07-06
Fuck you
Love Humanity

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-07-06
You guys are huge pussies.
Love everyone else

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-07-06
I'M THE PROPHET MOHAMMED THE BIG SHITHEAD!
HURR DURR DURR DURR

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-06-06
And now the news with Gilbert Thumbstrike and Tricia McGillencutty
Good evening I am Gibert Thumbstrike
And I am Tricia McGillencutty
Black people everywhere were stunned today when Martin Luther King came back to life for more on this story we go live to Krebdar the Destroyer, Krebdar?
Thanks Tricia, so Martin Luther King what are your plans now that you have rose from the dead?
I was thinking about playing some x-box.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
3-08-06
Today the president officially retracted yesterdays statement saying that "the jews aren't big angry bears who live in the woods" more on that later in the show
Now for the weather with Dog on Ball
IT SNOW TOMORROW VOOT VOOT!
Thank you Dog on Ball
Today it was revealed that pennies were actually sentiant beings from another world the general opinion across the world has been "Who gives a shit?"

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
4-14-06
Why have the fortunes cursed me to such a life of misery
I don't know
Perhaps muy furture was predeterminned when I set my cursed foot upon this world.
I am gonna go eat a chalupa

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
4-14-06
Oh woe is me, I just got fired from the sewage treatment plant
You only got that job so you could be closer to Cheryl and she hates you now.
Yes, why oh why does all this misfortune happen to me.
Maybe if you stopped sucking things would look up.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
4-14-06
BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM
ARE YOU ROLLIN?
IT'S MY FIRST TIME!!
BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM
YOU WANT A LIGHT SHOW?
YES!
Pretty much repeat this scene a hundred times every single weekend and you have my nightlife.
HERE IS SOME KANDI IT SAYS PLUR!!!!
IM ROLLIN BAWLS!!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
4-18-06
I have come for the souls of all that live and all that will live, for you will find yourself in the void forever knowing the unmitigated terror.
Dude, Jerrys not here

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
I thnk I have anal warts
?
Marry me.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
I think "angel" was the best show on television.
He is one of the gayest men I have ever seen.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
I will suck you dry
For a creature of the night he sure is flaming

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
Nah, this joke is to easy.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
Nah, this joke is too easy.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
Hey did you see the R Kelly music video?
No
yeah, me either
I thnk we should break up.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
Hey what about that R Kelly video, did you see it?
Yeah actually,
What did you think?
It was ok,
I just didn't really understand the midget.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
Did you see the new R Kelly video?
No
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
Dud you see the new R Kelly video
No
Well I did.
You only have three weeks to live.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
5-28-06
Hey baby, I just saw your new video.
Well what did you think?
It was wonderful use of visual AND lyrical poetry.
I think we should break up.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
6-28-06
*fap fap fap fap fap*
*click*
*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*
I love this kid!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
6-28-06
So what's your theory on this Prescot?
I say she was probably murdered and raped in a hurry.
Its almost as if the killer had something better to do.
Well I did have to get to my daughter's piano recital! So excuse me if my work is a bit rushed this time.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
6-29-06
What do you mean stretch, I have been out here for three hours.
He's probably just snorting some of his "christmas cheer" off the reindeers ass............
Santa will be out in just a moment kids, but until then did you here the one about FISHY JOE?

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
7-24-06
I love black people
and why is that?
BET, improving race relations one little step at a time.
because I can stand to watch BET.
Good for you.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
7-24-06
I think now I can finally understand the thoughts and feelings of a black man?
Why?
Um......
Because I smoke alot of crack and date fat white women

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
7-29-06
Beep boop beep, robots are the rulers of this world.
I said robot are the ruler of this world.
Listen, no one gives a shit.

 

No seriously, WHAT THE FUCK is going on in this book?
by JESUSSANDWICH, 7-29-06

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-01-06
My child, I want you to tell me want you would want for the mortal realm
Bitches.
Is that all, are you sure there isn't anything else you could possibly desire?
Ho's

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-01-06
Bro, I am sorry but I think I am gonna turn back onto the substances.
So I guess I will see you around.
Wait for me!!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-01-06
Here he comes act normal.
Can I hit that shit?

 

The question I have is why he refered to it as misspelling when it was so obviously mispronunciation.
by JESUSSANDWICH, 9-17-06

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
9-18-06
Friday night!
All my friends are partying tonight.
But since I quit I can either commit public suicide or watch an entire season of Charmed.
On my way to town square.
That wasn't a very difficult choice.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-24-07
This doesn't seem right

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-24-07
Frank you have been kind of cold to me recently
YEAH WHATEVER ASSHOLE
That is very unkind of you frank I wish I could make you change your mind about me
STUFF IT NUMB NUTS
Sir, you have offended me, this injustice will not go unpunished
YEAH WHATEVER ASSHOLE

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-24-07
Hey crabby why dont you want to work with any of the story ideas I give you
I am having trouble thinking of creative genius in those little "pearls" you call comics
Earlier......
I find that very hard to believe Will Smith
That's a good comic now save and send to crabby

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-24-07
*click*
I just had a terrible dream about Kathy Bates naked
Oh well its over time toget ready for work

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-24-07
So how was your weekend Bob?
Oh I did some trading while on my private boat while I got head from a supermodel and I managed to squeeze a round of golf in there.
And people wonder why I am blue
Hey steve, I want to suck you off behind the copy machine

 

OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!OUCH!!!!
by JESUSSANDWICH, 11-25-07

Showing page 7.

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