All comics by KajunFirefly

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by KajunFirefly
5-02-02
FUCK OFF, YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN!
I promise, I won't hurt you, I'm a goodie!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-02-02
I'll kill them all eventually, ha ha ha!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-03-02
you see, I don't think the whole "6 days" thing is to be taken literally, God made the universe over a long period of 6 stages, hence Dinosaurs.
yes, but if God had created the earth, surely he would have told Moses or Jesus about the existence of Dinosaurs, it seems no-one was aware of them until many centuries later.
perhaps there were a lot of creatures that never made it, God probably didn't see the point in talking about them, he was more interested in Adam and Eve and the entire human race.
That's another thing, Adam and Eve, when Cain killed Abel and went off and got himself a wife, where did the wife come from?
hmm, I think God created Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, but also created millions of other humans outside the garden walls, they were just prototypes, or pets.
Bah, If it wasn't for Genesis 19:5 and the tales of Sodom, I wouldn't read that piece of shit bible at all.

 

by KajunFirefly
5-08-02
come on Kajun, you've been staring at us for ages now, think man, THINK, make a series, you know you want to, pick IndyPete and make a love story with him and Maura!
don't bother, you've totally overdone the love story thing, you should make a story about superheroes or something!
OR you could put a new spin on the love angle and write a lesbian romance story!
stop looking at us like that!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-26-02
At Hopper's lawfirm:
Good morning Jackie, do I have any calls?
No Mr Hopper, but there is a gentleman here to see you, he's waiting in your office.
you just let him into my office? did he say who he was?
uh, no, he didn't really have to, I think you might want to go and see for yourself.
I have a bad feeling about this, cancel my 1 o'clock
yes sir, I'll tell him to pull his pants up and leave.

 

by KajunFirefly
5-26-02
Good Morning Sir, what can I do for you?
don't you recognise me Craig? look closer.
James?
Yes Craig, it's me, your twin brother!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-26-02
James, but how are you here? I thought you dissapeared at sea during that freak storm exactly 5 years ago today!
No, I have spent the last few years travelling around the world in search for some answers, I vowed I would avenge my father's death, and I wont rest until I do!
but dad killed himself, what are you going to do? dig him up and kill him again?
come on Craig, surely you, a high paid lawyer, should have your doubts about dad's death, nobody would kill themselves with a can of gasoline and a match.
sure they would, dad WAS quite insane.
Yes, but how did he manage to pin the suicide note to himself without it burning?

 

by KajunFirefly
5-26-02
So in your years of searching, have you mananged to get close to the truth about dad's death?
yes Craig, I know how it happened, this may shock and disturb you, but I believe that dad was killed.... BY ALIENS!
Aliens?
yes, and tomorrow I blast off to Mars to destroy their planet!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-26-02
look James, I can't let you do this, it's too insane. I've lived the lie for long enough. Your dad DIDN'T commit suicide years ago. In fact, he's still alive today. James.... I am your father.
b-b-b-but if YOUR my dad, then what happened to Craig?
he's over there!
hi!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-27-02
Well Kajun, you've been on this site for a year now, you've made over 400 comics, perhaps even close to 500 with all 6 of your accounts.
yup
you've won various contests and even got yourself a character.
yup
so, how 'bout you give me some fucking money?
uh...

 

by KajunFirefly
5-28-02
Hmm, food?
Try it, bitch!
8 years later
So the squirrel contained a secret treasure map and you found the gold and became the richest man in the world?
Dude, weren't you listening? After eating the squirrel, I had sex with a coupe of hippos, they locked me away for years!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-28-02
I really need to cut down on the weed.

 

by KajunFirefly
5-28-02
hey
hey
did you see Mr. Ed on tv last night?
nah
He's really went downhill, I didn't think he could stoop lower than animal porn, but he's just finished a new movie with Eddie Murphy!
woah!

 

by KajunFirefly
5-30-02
Do you ever get the feeling that every day you're just wasting time until tomorrow?
Why? What happens tomorrow?
Nothing, that's my point.
Why are you waiting for nothing?
I'm not, I'm trying to sum up the futility of man.
Seems a bit pointless to me.

 

by KajunFirefly
5-30-02
Reality is hard to prove if you think about it. Our senses can be fooled. Our whole existence could be a hallucination on your or my part...
Whoa...I never thought of that...
Reality could be nothing more than an illusion, sustained by nothing more than our belief in it...
Wow...You know, I'm beginning to doubt that we really exist at --
-------------------------*POP*-------------------------
okay, now you're just pushing this power of belief thing too far!
Just grab your ankles and think of Jesus, bitch!

 

by KajunFirefly
6-01-02
Wan day, doon the Clyde...
So I wis like that, "Here you, whit's your game, eh? Ya wantin' a fucking sqwer go right noo? me an' you, fuckin' moan then!
Ha ha
Whit the fuck uhr you talkin' aboot, ya dobber?

 

by KajunFirefly
6-04-02
Ah'm gonna beat yo' black ass!
No, ah'm a gonna beat YO' black ass!
Oh yeah? well ah'm gonna beat YO' black ass, nigger!
YEAH? WELL AH'M GONNA BEAT YO' BLACK ASS! BITCH!
$$$
$$$

 

by KajunFirefly
6-04-02
You look like a woman in that kilt.
I pissed in your beer.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-04-02
Hey man, your shoes are untied.
These fuckers are always coming undone.
Aww, man, I can totally see up your kilt when you do that!
Sorry.
I didn't tell you to stop.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-07-02
Hi, My name is Cajoun_Francis_Firefly, I'd like to say that not only is Celine Dion one of the greatest singers of our time, but she is also one of the sexiest_women_alive.
*ahem*
oh, yes, and AOL rules!

 

by KajunFirefly
6-13-02
Hi, I'm new around here, I was hoping we could be friends and go and pick up guys together.
Uh, actually, I AM a guy.
Heh, you're funny, so, is there like a club we can go to or something?
No, seriously, I'M A GUY!
Hey, maybe I could come over to your place and try on some clothes, I didn't bring much of a wardrobe with me.
Why... sure, I've got a whole bunch of Kil... uh... skirts that would suit you.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-14-02
o/` Mother fucking, Mother fuck, fuck fuck cunt, super mother fucking fuck... o/`
o/` Some people say that they are in love, but those people don't know what they speak of... o/`
o/` Mother fucking, Mother fuck, fuck fuck cunt, super mother fucking fuck... o/`
You know, perhaps pairing Slipknot with R.E.M. was a bad idea.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
10:00am
zzzzzzz hmm, I really should get up zzzzzzzzzz
11:30am
zzzzzz oh shit, I've slept in, if I get up now I could still make it in before lunch zzzzzz
3 days later
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
woah, I slept for 3 fucking days, perhaps I should go get this checked out.
at the doctors:
Even though I knew I had to wake up, and I actually WANTED to wake up, I just couldn't.
hmm, you haven't been smoking cannabis have you?
well, you know I tried it once or twice in college, but only because some older boys made me.
Yes, well Mr Firefly, I'm afraid it's not good news, you are indeed suffering from Lethargy.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
woah, "Lethargy"? What the hell is that? Is it bad?
I'm afraid so, it's a fatal condition that there is no known cure for.
"FATAL"?? How long have I got?
Not very long from what I can tell, soon you wont be able to leave the house, then you'll lose the power of speech and slowly every muscle in your body will relax and you'll suffocate.
This is terrible Doc, what am I supposed to do? Is there any help I can get in the meantime?
Well, we tried setting up a "Coping with Lethargy" class on Monday nights, but no-one ever turned up.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
Have you ever dealt with Lethargy before?
Yes, in fact I'm practically a specialist in the field.
So what have past suffers done to deal with the problem?
Most of them decided to clear the air with everyone they've ever met.
Why?
I don't know, I guess it just takes a lot less effort to be truthfull and honest.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
well Flora, I'm afraid I don't have much longer to live, I just wanted to say goodbye, and that I'm sorry for making you such an emotional mess up.
bUt KaJuN, i'M nOt ThAt MeSsEd Up, I'Ve FoUnD tHe TrUe MeAnInG oF lOvE, I sHaLL mIsS yOu *sniff*
if only there were some way I could find a cure for this cursed disease, but there isn't enough time.
pErHaPs YoU cOuLd BuiLd YoUrSeLf A rObOtiC bOdY tO kEeP yOuR bRaIn ALiVe!
nah, I can't be arsed.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
Gareth, I just have to say that although I've always poked fun at you behind your back and moaned about the way you treat women, I realise that I was simply jealous...
really?
Yes, I was the one acting like an asshole, not you, so I thought I'd clear the air before I die.
wow really, you're dying?
I'm afraid so, I've been diagnosed with Lethargy.
That sucks, um, just one thing, who are you?

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
Andy, I'm dying, so I wanted to take back all that stuff I said about you, like when I told the police you were a paeodophile.
you did what?
and when I was fucking yer Maw without a condom and came in your sock.
uh
and that time that I came home drunk and saw you had passed out on the couch, so I got some baby oil and a baguette and...
OKAY, OKAY, I FORGIVE YOU KAJUN, now please, just stop talking!

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
Ah Bazilla, before... I lose... the power... of speech.... I want to tell you... one thing.
Yes?
*thud*
well?
*gurgle*
WHAT IS IT?

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02
Right, we've got a call to 101 Sanchez Road.
Mr Firefly? I swear, if we turn up and he's got his own head stuck between his legs again, I'm leaving him there.
well, how is he?
I started telling him stories about my Karate Club and he just sort of faded away.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-16-02

 

by KajunFirefly
6-18-02
Jesus, it seems that there are various holes appearing in space and time!
I have noticed dad, it seems to be something to do with that Scottish boy, Kajun Firefly.
Yes, somehow his disjointed existence in this world kept it in balance.
Surely the world is better off without him?
No, funnily enough it's not, his failure to grasp reality somehow stopped it from collapsing.
Wow, I just thought he was really stoned.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-18-02
We'll have to bring Kajun back to save the universe.
Can't we just nick another Kajun from a parallel dimension?
It's not that simple, it would kill the other dimension, thus collapsing existence, we'll need to take him from a POSSIBLE reality.
You mean a reality that *might* happen?
Yes, but it would kill that possible reality and stop it from ever *possibly* occuring.
Why couldn't he have just let me join the Navy?

 

by KajunFirefly
6-18-02
We'll have to be carefull though, if we destroyed the reality where world peace was declared, we would end the chances of it ever happening!
What if we destroy the reality where nuclear war is declared?
What? All 34 Billion of them?
Perhaps not.
I was thinking about stopping the chances of Celine Dion ever making another album.
Ah yes, that'd really get on Satan's tits.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-18-02
In a different *possible* reality.
Woah, Jesus, have you travelled through time to save us from something?
No, I'm from another reality.
But you existed in THIS reality, you're from the past.
No, this is a *possible* reality of the reality I'm from, I've come to save you.
But if this is a *possible* reality of YOUR reality, then it must be forward in time, you ARE from the past!
I'm going to fucking CRUCIFY you if you don't shut up!

 

by KajunFirefly
6-18-02
so wait, I'm DEAD in your reality, and somehow this is causing the universe to collapse, and so you want me to jump to another dimension to stop Celine Dion bringing out another album?
for the last time, YES!
But surely in another reality I'll die again and you'll have to take another Kajun and end some other possibility.
We aren't concerned with that just now.
and what about when I grow old, I mean I'll HAVE to_die_someday. God can't just keep me alive forever because the fate of the world depends on it.
Oh, trust me, he can.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-18-02
Well God, it's me, I'm not sure I understand what this is all about, but Jesus promised me a big sack of weed for my trouble.
Oh, he did, did he? Well it'll be coming out of HIS stash, I'll tell you that right now.
So, has the universe stopped collapsing?
It would seem that way, Wales has somehow become part of the Antartic, but we don't think anyone's noticed.
So, how do I get down from here?
There's a door just behind that cloud over there, but don't tell Jesus, he's been looking for it for years.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-18-02
So this is my grave huh? It's kind of weird seeing it.
You get used to it, I've been pissing on it every night since you were buried.
Dying of lethargy, who'd have ever thought it? Ah well, you want to go get some hookers?
Sure!
I just wished they had made sure I was dead before they buried me.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-23-02
Hey Pants, how are you?
I just had the best weekend ever, I had a threesome with a pair of glamour models!
Ah, help me, I'm on fire!!
No you're not.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-23-02
You know, we've been friends for years, we know each other so well. I was thinking, that maybe, you and I could, get it on?
Kajun, the thought of sleeping with you is so far at the back of my mind that, if some advanced speculations on the nature and shape of the many-dimensional multiplexity of the universe were correct..
it would be right at the front.
Is that a "yes"?

 

by KajunFirefly
6-25-02
Honey, I'm ho-ome! What's for dinner?
You'll have to russle up something yourself, I grabbed some fast food before I came home.
*sigh* Is it really too much to ask to come home from a hard day, reaping souls, and find some food waiting for me?
You're not the only one with a job you know, this Hugh Grant court case is getting difficult, they found stains in his Jeep.
I told you, just say the world and I'll take care of him.
No way, not after you refused to testify in the O.J. case, you were THERE for fuck sake.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-25-02
So, how about that dinner?
Listen honey, I really think we should talk about starting a family.
Oh, not THIS again, look I've told you, I don't need to sire an heir, I will exist until the end of time, where I will continue to exist along with other immortals.
But I want a baby, not everyone is immortal you know, it would be a great way of expressing our love.
I know a good way you could express YOUR love.
Not a chance mister, not until the almighty creator blesses you with a tongue so that you might return the favour.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-25-02
Darling, I'm going on a golf weekend with the boys. If anyone phones looking for me, tell them I'm sick, oh, and try and take a look at that guttering when you've got a minute.
ok honey.
oh, I'd better remember my video camera, Bob Hope's playing with us, I get the feeling he's been cheating me for years. I want a replay of every shot he takes.
ok honey, you have a good time now.
I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that he doesn't have any in-laws, I would have left him years ago.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-25-02
*knock knock*
Ah, that'll be my mail order bride, I thought she'd never get here.
Boorite?
Oh, wait, you're not the Mr Smith who ordered a Sex Craved Librarian, are you?
Shit, it seems I've fucked up the ordering somehow, what do we do now?
Well, you signed the forms, we ARE legally married. You might aswell get your money's worth.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-25-02
3 months later.
Hey, you want to go down the pub?
Sure.
You know it's weird, after all my past troubles with women, I didn't realise that another man was the answer.
Yeah, and the sex is a whole lot easier.
I love you Boorite.
I love you Kajun.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-25-02
GAAAAH!!!
Woah, Gabe, I just had the most disgusting dream.
Why? What happened?
I dreamt Kajun was gay and we were married! It was horrible!
Oh Darling, you know that's why you shouldn't drink before you go to bed.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-26-02
Hey, what the hell is THAT?
That's my penis!
Is it? Then what the hell is this?
I don't know, I thought it was you, I've been rubbing it for the past 10 minutes.
SO HAVE I!
Oh, wait, I think that's the cat.

 

by KajunFirefly
6-26-02
MMmm, mmm yeah, ooh, that's good.
OH! OH! Yeah, that's even BETTER!
Sorry dear, I just needed to run to the bathroom, now, let's snuggle.
Actually, could you just leave me and the cat alone for a bit longer?

 

by KajunFirefly
6-26-02
OOOH, YEAH!!
Uh, you're not faking it are you?
No, don't be silly, I haven't faked an orgasm since Gary Parker tried to bone me in the back of his Corvette.
Shirley?
GARY???
I knew this costume party was a bad idea.

Showing page 7.

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