All comics by Lord_Vodek

Profile

 

by Lord_Vodek
9-29-09
9/29/09
Congratulations you just won 50 million dollars
This one time limited offer expires on 9/28/09 no exceptions have a nice day and enjoy your winnings

 

by Lord_Vodek
9-29-09
Blarg!
You know maybe i should stop drinking so much
VODKA!

 

by Lord_Vodek
9-29-09
Why do you keep shitting in my mouth
Jesus Christ A talking Toliet

 

by Lord_Vodek
9-29-09
Feed me Seymore
Oh no not again!

 

What the hell happened to the forrest we were trying to protect
Christmas happened to it...
by Lord_Vodek, 9-29-09

 

Alex Trebek I have come for you
What is death?
by Lord_Vodek, 9-30-09

 

Oh Alex Trebek
Can you put that in question form?
by Lord_Vodek, 9-30-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
9-30-09
This game show announcer is gay
Who is Bob Barker?
Who is Pat Sajak?
Who is Alex Trebek?

 

Hello Welcome to McDonalds what would you like to order?
The numer 3 Big Clot and a Large Stroke
by Lord_Vodek, 10-02-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-05-09
Hey, what's wrong, buddy?
I dunno... When I found out that I'd survived the apocolypse, I thought I'd get some sort of radiation induced super power.
But you do, little buddy. You have the power to make me smile.
Please put your pants back on.
But I'm wearing pants...
Wait...That means...I need to find some girls to talk to...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-05-09
Holy shit! Those fish are gonna eat me!
Maybe I shoul stop doing Acid

 

Kids! Dinner!
by Lord_Vodek, 10-05-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-08-09
...With the economy
All In!
...With the troops in Iraq
ALL IN!
...With Dick Cheney
Fold!

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-09-09
Morpheus!
Yes, AttitudeChika it is I
Where the hell is my child support?
I...uhhh...I'm on a mission!
Let me guess..."To find the chosen one? Hatrix says you told her the same thing nice try. You better pay up
Shit...

 

by Lord_Vodek
10-11-09
Ha you blinked

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-13-09
The marines say they are looking for a few good men
I decided to join the marines...
...for the same reason

 

This is why I hate online dating
by Lord_Vodek, 11-13-09

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-13-09
Mail for a Mr. Davis
Do you think this is really the time
Well excuse me for trying to do my job!

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-13-09
You're pretty you know that?
I would do dirty dirty things to you...
I love you...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-13-09
Guest apperance Satan!
Woa...totally blew my arguements against satanism away...
So...what do you do for fun?
You don't talk much do you?
I'm debating wether or not you are worth my time

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-15-09
This is amazing
What the hell? How'd I get here?
I hate sleeping
Confess your sins to me, my child

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-16-09
What the hell are you doing?
Oh the humanity!
Uhhh...
Use the fucking toilet next time...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-16-09
So you are the one who saved my eternal soul
Yes that's right
And...What the hell gives you the fucking right to save my soul before I was even born!
I fucking hate this job...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-16-09
NIGGER FAGGOT!
That was uncalled for
NIGGER FAGGOT!
You sir are racist
NIGGER FAGGOT!
CRACKER JACK!

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-16-09
Hi and welcome to alcoholics anonymous are you an Alcholic or a drug addict?
Neither...
Then why the hell are you here?
You want to know why I am here?
I just like the cookies

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-17-09
The First Born
Hey Daddy, what was I?
A tear in the condom
The Second Born
Hey Daddy, what was I?
Vodka gone wrong
The Third Born
Hey Daddy, What was I?
Great Success!

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-17-09
2006 Bird Flu!
2009 Swine Flu!
2012 Goat Flu!?!

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-17-09
Where are you going with all that stuff
Uhhh...
What is that stuff anyway?
Condoms...
Why do you need condoms...we are the only survivors left in this city...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-17-09
Step 1: Get good weapons
Maybe we should have gotten something more effective than squirt guns...
These are squirt guns?
Step 2: Make sure you have food
Maybe I shouldn't have locked us out of the kitchen...
You what?
Step 3: Guard all windows and doors leading to the place you are holding out...
Hey what about that sunlight?
There's a sunlight...you are the worst survival partner ever

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
So I have been beaten, arrested, escaped, arrested by the same cop, and then truamitized when my last counselor started sleeping with my mom
What happened with that?
They are getting married next month
Oh yeah what date?
My birthday they said they had to make something good about the month of March.
Ouch that must be painful

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
Yeah, but I've learned no one cares about me but me...
I care about you...
How much do I owe you? I think we are done here

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
Where have you been I've been looking everywhere for you...
I've been in court and counseling because you got me arrested...
That's nice anyway I've got a new scheme that's fool proof
Do you listen to anything I say?
So do you think you can get a gun from your brother?

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
One fine day...
No. No guns...you want to break the law? You do it without me
But this is a huge score...and if we pull it off we can go to the Carribean and leave together next to that nude beech
*Sigh* What did you have in mind?
Well I was thinking we could rob a bank this time
To be continued...
Stop right there...what do you mean we? Everytime you have a scheme I end up doing all the work
This time I'm gonna help...Anyway the bank job...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
One fine day...
Welcome back
This is really starting to get old
Did she get you with the nude beach speech?
Yeah how'd you know?
To be continued...
I worked "with" her for 3 years before ending up here with a 25 year sentance
Is there anyway to escape?

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
One fine day...
Prison?
No the curse that is Mary...
Oh...not that i'm aware of...she still visits with schemes...
And?
To be continued...
I've got eight jobs as soon as I get out
How does she do this?

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
One fine day...
So you're my new laywer?
That's right
What happened to Beil?
He's on vacation with his wife I'm covering his cases
To be continued...
So do you think you can help?
Well you are running out of defenses this is your third time here

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
One fine day...
Well I'm at a loss
Maybe we should make a deal with the D.A.
I'm listening...
Well you said that you and at least one other guy are in here becuase of manipulation on the part of a girl named Mary
To be continued...
Yeah and?
Well you too can testify against her for a lighter sentance obviously she's the real menace...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-19-09
One fine day...
I never thought of that...
You usually let Mary do the thinking don't you?
Yeah how'd you guess?
1993 Mary the teen and her foolish minion the law student...
To be continued...
Wow...wait you want vengance that's why you want me to testify against her...
It's also the only way you are getting out of here...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-28-09
Arrr! Give me your booty!
Ummmm.
Don't just stand there give me your booty...
Fine here it is.
Arrr! I'm not a butt pirate
You better call tommorow...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-28-09
So....
You're a machine...I'm a machine...Want to Interphase?
Fine be that way! I just wanted a booty call anyway!

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-28-09
Are you here for the meeting?
Uhhh...
Great....Come right this way...
But I'm not...
We need to get you in a robe High Master

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-28-09
Well...I've fucked worse...

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-28-09
Are you supposed to be a vampire?
Yessss! I am a vampire!
No you're not!
What?
Edward is a vampire!

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-28-09
I'm breaking up with you
What? Why?
Because...
You don't sparkle like edward

 

by Lord_Vodek
11-30-09
Want to touch it?
What do you feed that thing?

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-02-09
I've had a revelation
Really? Explain
Well athiests don't beleive in God and He's ok with that...Want to know why?
Sure tell me
Because God doesn't beleive in Atheists
Oh my god

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-02-09
This Is A True Story
Well I went to church today
Yeah how did it go?
Well they said something ironic
What's that?
Well the youth pastor said "What would you do if you were prosecuted for what you beleive?" I thought it was really ironic considering I was the only Wiccan there...

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-06-09
(True Story)
So this morning I woke up at 6:30
That sucks dude I never wake up that early on Sunday
I thought it was Monday...Anyway I ended up staying up
Why?
Lord Of The Rings was on tv
Hmmm...Stat modifier: Knowing Lord Of The Rings is on -50 to sleep check

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-11-09
I need a successful seduce check here or I'll never be able to enter the Chamber of Secrets
This is a real challenge...I'm gonna drink a whiskey potion for plus 50 to courage
Hmm maybe I should drink a potion of charisma to improve my chances as well
Just fuck me already

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-14-09
Christ I'm horny
Hi I'm Alice
Oh sweet jesus let's fuck
Sorry but no
Why not
I went Les 45 seconds ago

Showing page 7.

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