All comics by mandingo

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by mandingo
9-05-05
i have abducted you and will be performing various oral and anal probes on you, which, when combined, will cause your painful death
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actually, i did come from a fatherless household, yes
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today our worlds attain peace, Joe
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by mandingo
9-05-05
i am the New Orleans Crime Wave! die!
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i'll be receding you, Joe

 

by mandingo
9-06-05
WELCOME TO THE END OF EXISTENCE. THE END OF ALL HOPE. THE END OF TIME ITSELF
SHUFFLEBOARD TONIGHT. MOVIE NIGHT, FRIDAYS

 

by mandingo
9-06-05
and over here you'll see the fields of peace, and over there the spa of contentment
wow, this is great! so when can i get started?
oh, you're not going to heaven, Mr. Denver. you raped kittens and ate old people
then why are you showing me all this??
we've found it makes hell that much more unbearable if we give a three hour tour. a three hour tour!

 

by mandingo
9-06-05
knock knock
who's there?
astronaut
astronaut who?
astro not you, you didn't make the cut. turn in your shit and get the fuck out

 

by mandingo
9-06-05
hi, grandma. how was your knitting class? did you have a... GRIM REAPER! !
WHERE WHERE??
heh heh
Todd, don't do that to me. you know i'm afraid of dying
sorry, grandma. its just that... GRIM REAPER! !
WHERE WHERE??

 

by mandingo
9-09-05
we see you when you're sleeping
we know when you're awake
we know when you've been bad or good
so be good for goodness sake
OR WE'LL SLIT YOU OPEN!
SHIT ON YOUR INNARDS!

 

by mandingo
9-10-05
would you like to cyber, Joe?
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i'm rubbing my tongue over your lips
beak
what?
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what up, MY nigger
by mandingo, 9-12-05

 

by mandingo
9-13-05
SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT WITH A HAMMER!
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can't sleep
no
i mean i can't sleep. stop screaming, asshole

 

by mandingo
9-13-05
When I grow up, I'm going to marry YOU, Mommy!
AWW! Heh-heh! Isn't that cute?
20 years later...
Well, Mom...it's time. Let's get married.
Huh?
marriage, you know? like with dad? where i beat you half the time and take you by force the other half?
i'll grab the ball gag

 

by mandingo
9-14-05
across the universe, a line forms
it is the string of string theory, the quanta of quantum mechanics, it is the beginning and the end, it is reality itself
and it is infinite
welcome to the Department of Motor Vehicles

 

by mandingo
9-14-05
Vinter, bästa tiden på året.
Hejsan Snögubbe vill du ha en bulle?
Bullar? Är du dum eller? Snögubbar kan inte äta!
LURAD! Inte fan ska du få en bulle inte!
and that's how we get the jewels

 

by mandingo
9-15-05
wait a minute
who built the barn?

 

by mandingo
9-15-05
don't look at me
i built the swimming pool

 

by mandingo
9-15-05
nope
i built the skimmer

 

by mandingo
9-15-05
oink
oink

 

by mandingo
9-15-05
"welcome to Woppy Burger, where all our burgers are Woppy fresh and made with Woppy love."
Gene, don't get me wrong, i appreciate the job and all, but why do i have to say that stupid Woppy phrase every time?
because that's the Woppy way, you dumb Woppy shit. now scuttle your little Woppy ass back out there and serve fresh Woppy goodness to the retarded Woppy masses
i heard that

 

by mandingo
9-16-05
welcome to Woppy Burger, where all our burgers are Woppy fresh and made with Woppy love
God, i hate you
i hate myself most days
not enough

 

by mandingo
9-16-05
welcome to Woppy Burger, where all our burgers are Woppy fresh and made with Woppy love.
i'll take a Woppy Meal please
would you like a Woppy Shake or a Woppy Soda, Woppy Fries or Woppy Hashbrowns, a Woppy Burger or a Sloppy Woppy
God, i hate you

 

by mandingo
9-16-05
"welcome to Woppy Burger, where all our burgers are Woppy fresh and made with Woppy love."
Joe, i appreciate the job and all, but why do i have to say that stupid Woppy phrase every time?
because that's the Woppy way, you dumb Woppy shit. now scuttle your little Woppy ass back out there and serve fresh Woppy goodness to that fat Woppy fuck
i heard that

 

by mandingo
9-16-05

 

by mandingo
9-16-05
i am mandingo from stripcreator, you are Zimri from stripcreator, we shall fight crime
how's Tuesdays work for you?
good, but do we have to wear funny little outfits, because i added a few pounds in the hip area
yes
can i drive sometimes?
no

 

by mandingo
9-17-05
charge!
fuck this

 

by mandingo
9-18-05
let us give thanks to God for a good harvest
i need to teach this species some individuality
let us give thanks to God for the half that survived
oh, for my sake

 

by mandingo
9-18-05
Jones, homicide
Jones, officer
good to meet you, Jones. what do we have here?
Jones, it's a house
it's the Jones house?
Jones, no the Smith's

 

by mandingo
9-18-05
why do you keep saying Jones in front of everything
Jones, because you did
i was introducing myself, Officer Jones
Jones, that's Officer Brady
what?
Jones, huh?

 

by mandingo
9-18-05
look, i'm Detective Jones, you're Officer Brady. got it?
Jones, got it.
stop saying Jones!
Jones, can't do. Jones has bonded to me. Jones has made its allegiance with me. once Jones' loyalty is set, Jones knows no retreat
I'M JONES!
Jones, good to know you

 

by mandingo
9-18-05
i'm going to take off this jacket and beat you within an inch of your life!
Jones, sure you are
okay, okay
so what do we have here?
it's a house

 

by mandingo
9-20-05

 

by mandingo
9-20-05
asl?
i mean, 'hi'

 

merry christmas, tree
by mandingo, 9-20-05

 

by mandingo
9-20-05
option 1: bribe a mutual friend to set you up on a 'blind' date with a girl you like
i play poker for a living
sold
option 2: stay on your computer all day
asl?
option 3: improvise
uh oh

 

by mandingo
9-20-05
i know it's a house. i mean, what's the story?
once upon a time there was a house
not the house's story! the crime story!
woah. one at a time there, big guy. once upon a time there was a house. it was a pretty house. yellow, with a little orange trim
okay, okay

 

by mandingo
9-20-05
so what's the story
as you can see behind me, we have a victim and 3 people who were in the house at the time and who all claim to be innocent. we have the drunk, the dumb blond, and the perpetrator.
i think you mean black guy

 

by mandingo
9-20-05
why is the black guy the perpetrator?
why is the sky blue?
this isn't looking good
it's you! you killed him! what are you doing with that knife! no!

 

by mandingo
9-20-05
officer, give me the story again and this time do try to keep your personal prejudices out of it
i'm not prejudice against blacks. some of my best prisoners are black
christ, and with Johnny Cochrane dead too. i think i better get the hell out of here

 

by mandingo
9-20-05
the story, officer
well, as you can see, we have two victims...
it's you! what are you doing with that bow and arrow?? no!!

 

by mandingo
9-20-05
2? i thought there was only 1 victim
nope, as you can see behind me, there are 3 victims

 

by mandingo
9-21-05
you just said 2!
once upon a time there was a house
*burp*

 

by mandingo
9-21-05
which is it! 2 or 3!
all dead, i'm afraid

 

oh, it's go time now
by mandingo, 9-21-05

 

by mandingo
9-21-05
did you figure out the murderer?
i'll give you a hint
it's coming right for you

 

by mandingo
9-22-05
okay, when i create this fucker, you go hard left then fake right and go straight for hell. i'll playaction left then swing back right and haul ass to heaven. LET'S DO THIS SHIT!
Ready?
BREAK!!

 

by mandingo
9-23-05

 

by mandingo
9-23-05
boy, we sure got smashed last night, huh?
i even had this dream we sucked each other's cock

 

by mandingo
9-23-05
how was your blind date last night?
it was okay. the only thing was that the girl had this enormous... wait a damn minute...
where the fuck is the title to this comic?

 

by mandingo
9-24-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
why 40 days?
because that's how long the jews wandered in the desert
that was 40 YEARS
40 years later...
no one is sure where the white gooey substance came from, but it seems to be completely covering the earth
reports have kids making snow angels in it, and moms putting it in their soup

 

by mandingo
9-24-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT? SPLAT, SPLAT SPLAT.
come on, i can do this! i fasted in the wilderness for 40 days, remember?
SPLAT! SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT.
you make a good point, my little sidekick. sometimes your wisdom is so great that i think maybe you are the son of god and i am but SPLAT.
SPLAT SPLAT.

 

by mandingo
9-24-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
this should be easy. i just bought me one fully functional piping hot medical cadaver, fresh out the oven
uh oh

Showing page 7.

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