All comics by xxxenon

 

by xxxenon
3-15-05
I agree that is selfish
Sister Ann,are you a virgin?
Hell no, I lost my virginity when I was very young.I am the town Mascot
I thought you had to take a vow of celebacy to be a Nun
I AM A SINNER
Well according to Mick Jagger all Sinners are Saints,besides I signed a petition in your honor

 

by xxxenon
3-15-05
What kind of petition?
A petition stating that All Blessed Mothers have the legal right to know if their underage daughters are having an abortion
So,you are pro Life?
God is my legal Guardian,and I want him to forgive me
Are you married?
I am married to my higher power,it is a common law marriage

 

by xxxenon
3-17-05
Nice parking job
Thanks for the compliment.I am a Boston driver
What kind of driver is that?
Agressive and I will give you the same respect you give me on the road
I think your a stupid Bitch
YA,well I called the paramedics in advance because the sandwich your eating is Road Kill

 

by xxxenon
3-17-05
Why wont you talk to me?
Because you didn't use your Anti - Bacterial tongue spray
Does my breath stink?
When is the last time you went to the dentist?Plaque build up on your teeth is a serious hygiene problem
The Dental Association recommends a cleaning every 6 months,that is 2 times a year
Do you have any gum?
Gum only masks the problem,A tongue scraper is also a good idea

 

by xxxenon
3-17-05
I am the jaws of Death.
Do you want to have a Face Off ?
My deuce is Wild !
The Devil's Play Ground.
Your a Liar !
Welcome to the land of the Living !

 

by xxxenon
3-17-05
Today is Saint Patrick's day a cause for celebration and Prayer.
Saint Patrick was born in Scotland at a time when Ireland was a land of Pagan Kings and Warriors.
His Pagan birth name was Maewyn Succat,it means Warlike.His baptismal name was Patricius,it is Noble.
When he was 16 years old Irish warriors raided Scotland and carried Patrick back to Ireland to become a slave.He was put to work as a sheperd for a Irish Druidic High Priest.
His Parents were Roman.
It's a Miracle !

 

by xxxenon
3-17-05
You are bad for our buisness agenda.
Oh! ya,blame it on me.The sanitary conditions in this joint are deplorable.When is the last time you had the rugs steam cleaned?The place smells like stale beer and throw-up.
Woman in my country have no voice.
Well this is America and I suggest you take the 10 dollar cover you charge at the door and invest it back in the club.The girls will really appreciate it.
How Dare you !
On Behalf of the dancers,we pay our Rent !

 

by xxxenon
3-17-05
The Strip Club is not closing.
Well prove it,a vacuum might be nice so we can clean the dressing room,Dust mites bite.The cloth couches need to be revamped they are dirty.Our cute little asses deserve better.
Don't listen to the rumors whatever you hear is not true.The club is not closing.
There is a saying cleanliness is next to Godliness.
Are you crazy?
I am not the one who is empty this place looks depressed !

 

by xxxenon
3-19-05
Thank-you Captain Kangaroo for escorting me down the street
Dont mention it Granny,it is the least I can do for a sweet little old lady like yourself
You are a life saver,if something bad happens to me I have no one to leave my fortune to and I cant rest in peace until I have someone
Do you want me to find you a Campanion?
Oh! Fuck,shoot that lying,cheating,bastard husband of mine
She's rich in spirit

 

by xxxenon
3-20-05
In the event of my death,I have a few wishes I want to uphold
Is that a death wish Granny?
You can call it a Life Wish !
So your looking for a durable power of attorney,you want to designate someone to to handle your financial and legal affairs should you become incapacitated
I am looking for someone I can Trust
Trust is the cost of Betrayal !

 

by xxxenon
3-23-05
Yes Captian trust does cost a fortune
So the old saying is true,you get what you pay for
You can buy a cheap pair of shoes and the soles will fall apart after a week or you can buy an expensive pair of shoes that will last you a Lifetime
I Like those Harley Davidson Harness Boots
You can buy White bread that makes you wonder how the hell they got so many additives and fillers in the loaf or you can buy White bread that is pure and organic
Well they dont call it the White House for nothing

 

by xxxenon
3-23-05
I think I died and went to Heaven
Heaven is a state of Mind
This must be a figment of my Imagination
I am a manifestation of your Reality
It's a good thing I haven't lost my eyesight,you look like my favorite Bodybuilder
I am all the testosterone you WANT

 

by xxxenon
3-24-05
How is your oral care?
Just got back from the Dentist,I get my teeth cleaned every 3 months
Good boy,thats what Granny likes to hear,a clean mouth makes for a winning smile
Is it true that George Washington had wooden teeth?
Why are you asking me,do I look like Martha Washington?
Well, now that you mention it,there is a striking resemblance

 

by xxxenon
3-24-05
The rise of the Pheonix is upon us.Easter Sunday is a day of Rebirth.The Ressurection Of Life After Death.
Immortality.
Where did you come from?
Heliopolis,the City of the Sun.I have a message for you from the Sun God.
How am I going to put out this Fire,I was just joking around.The Pheonix is a mythical bird that Never Dies.
He who finds the Golden Egg and deposits it on the Altar of the Sun God will inherit the Capacity Of Vision.

 

by xxxenon
3-25-05
I just read a cool poem by Robert Frost called ''Mending Walls''
Did you learn anything?
Ya,a better understanding of the different perspectives that devide us
The wall is a metaphor
I respect your personal space and opinions
A toast to the Kornfederates

 

by xxxenon
3-25-05
The latest breaking news,a stripper from the local bar has informed the media of never before seen footage concerning The 9-11 Terrorist attack on the Pentagon
I am flabbergasted
Pentagon Strike
To view this video you must put the website you see on the screen in the search engine on your computer

 

by xxxenon
3-25-05
Conspiracy Theory
That video was entertaining
Artistic point of view
Love the music and dramatic effect
Collecting sensory information about the environment and the events unfolding within it
I give it 5 stars

 

by xxxenon
3-25-05
I read about this in a Ancient Mythology Class.
Only one Pheonix exists at a time.when the bird felt his death was near,it would build a nest of aromatic wood and set it on Fire.
Ya,and the bird was consumed by the flames.Get me the hell out of here !
It is part of the life cycle. The Pheonix arises from the ashes with renewed youth and Vigor.
Are you a inspired Seer ?
No,I am a biproduct of interbreeding.My mother married her brother and they had a kid.They were shooting for a celestial virgin with blonde hair but,what they got was a short bald guy with a Goatee.

 

by xxxenon
3-25-05
How long am I going to be engulfed by this Inferno?
Take it easy,it is a slow burn besides you should be use to it. Remember ''Burning Of The Witches.''
Salem,Mass I got my tarot cards read there by a physhic.She didn't say anything about this event.
You have a choice Vanity or Virtue.
Virtue.
Wrong choice ! Vanity is the anidote to Hollywood and good plastic Surgery.

 

by xxxenon
3-25-05
I have an important engagement on Easter Sunday.I am meeting Peter Cottontail on the White House Front lawn for the annual Egg Hunt.
That is virtually Impossible.
Have you ever heard of Vedic Mathamatics?
Sacred Geometry.
Ya,remember when Steve Martin walked like an Egyptian playing King Tut that was Hilarious.
To think I almost fell for that Pyramid Sceme !

 

by xxxenon
3-26-05
You little Nimrod. I better not be late for my date.
Nimrod married his mother and became a powerful King.
You incestial stupid fool.Nimrod is a Expression.
Maybe to the Western world,but according to the mystery of Babylon he was a mighty Hunter.
Ya,if you think I am going to play Semiramis QUEEN of Babylon.The Goddess of Fertility your Crazy.
I checked your calender and you are ovulating !

 

by xxxenon
3-27-05
Easter was originally a Pagan Festival.
Witch gives us all the more reason to Procreate.
Do I have to?
Yes,if you want to save Humanity from all of your sins it is your only Salvation.
O.k. Your Mother has her Army boots on and she wants to set the mood.
So that is where they got the name Salvation Army !

 

by xxxenon
3-27-05
I want some back ground music. Hard rock turns me on.
How about some Midnight Oil?
''Beds Are Burning''
Any other request before I jump in there and put out this fire?
I hope you have a Fat Head !

 

by xxxenon
3-27-05
It is true, the Babylonian Trinity was Nimrod.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I am going Fishing.
'' Let Us Revolt ''

 

by xxxenon
3-27-05
Are you a Pagan?Answer me or I'll shoot.
That is our secret language Arisocratic families have the devine right to rule.
You are not hunting animals,you are hunting the souls of men.
To reach the level of Grand Inspector General, that is what a warrior does to protect and serve the working class.
You are exploiting our children.There is no such thing as the Easter Bunny. It is false advertising and it has stripped me of my manhood. I demand it Back !
Commercialised bullshit works for the weak and powerless.Take a look around nobody knows what is real.I understand you have reached your Boiling Point.

 

by xxxenon
3-27-05
Hello Mr. President it is an honor to meet you.
Where is Peter Cottontail ?
I am the new marketing director for the International Breeding Society.
I.B.S.
My mother married her son who was the great grandson of a sailor who was lost at sea for 40 days and 40 nights.There were illegitamate sons once removed but,were replaced by a more sophisticted....
I met my match.

 

by xxxenon
3-27-05
D.N.A. structure.
You are over qualified for the job.
Breeding programms for arranged marriages and Bank loans to support the Bloodline Campaign will remain our top priority.
I couldn't of said it better myself.
Jesus Christ !
I was on my way to Heaven and decided to stop here and ask you a favor. Please ! pick that God Damn piece of cotton out of Peter's Ass and plant it back in the fertile ground that you walk.

 

by xxxenon
3-31-05
Hello,this is your mother speaking.
Hi, it's Wendy.Do you have access to a computer?
Ya.
Oh Good ! this is the website where you can read my Comic Strip.
I dont do computers.
Well maybe if you spent half the time you do talking about me trying to get to know me you might realize something in me you dont see in yourself.

 

by xxxenon
3-31-05
I have to dig a Rabbit hole to protect the covenant.The land is our fulfillment it is our sacred Crown.
We must all dig our own graves.
I was on my way to the market for some roast beef and I got sidetracked. I took one right turn and ended up here.
This is a graveyard not a pigpen.
How much do you want to piggy bank on it ?

 

by xxxenon
3-31-05
I put all my faith in the Wizard and the Sabbath.
'' Warpigs '' is my favorite song by Black Sabbath.
O.k you can stay as long as there is no squealing this is a realm of positive Worship.
Are these Megalithic Stones ?
'' Stone of Knowledge ''
Yes,they represent the mythical city of Falias buried within Irelands ancient tales of adventure is the Stone of Fal.

 

by xxxenon
3-31-05
'' Stone of Kings ''
The suit of Pentacles or ( coins ) in the Tarot deck is the Coronation.
We are standing in the epicenter of the Pentacle.
Can you feel the Energy?
I am roasting like a Pig !
Spirit of the Stone of Fal,we call to you from the earth strengthen our circle and the magic within it.
WOW ! Portals to the Underworld.

 

by xxxenon
4-02-05
There were two birds upon a stone
One flew away and then there was one
The other flew after and then there was none

 

by xxxenon
4-02-05
So the poor stone was left alone
One of these little birds back again flew
The other came after and then there were two

 

by xxxenon
4-02-05
Says one to the other,pray how do you do
Very well,thank you, and pray how are you
WWW.MOTHERGOOSE.COM
''The Only True Mother Goose Melodies'' Page 6 (26)

 

by xxxenon
4-04-05
Dennis harassing a working girl
I want to be your friend. I miss you.Let's hang out.
Dennis our relationship is over.What part of the word no do you not understand ?
Notice how Dennis says I dont care
I dont care what you say.I am still your friend.
Respect my wishes and get on with your life.
Dennis using money as bait,he is a weak friend
I will give you 700.00$ if you let me come over to your cozy apartment,all I want to do is talk.Do you still find me attractive? Kiss me ! I want a Kiss. Lets go to our favorite restaurant together.
No !

 

by xxxenon
4-04-05
Clean Air
This Strip club smells like a barn !
Ya,as soon as you walk in the room you get a wiff of that sweet aroma.Would you like one of my anti-bacterial handi wipes?
Ionic Breeze Quadra is for Air Pollution
I smell fish and onions !
That is the sushi bar, and the bouncers are eating pizza and Carl's Junior. This is Garlic Heaven
www.sharperimage.com 1-800-611-4884
This place should smell like Victoria Secret. The guys will spend more money.Open up these Exit doors and air this place out !
There is a God !

 

by xxxenon
4-04-05
Dennis's favorite movie is the Godfather
Your a pussy kid ! I Suggest you go to the Ram Rod and pick up a dude
Did I bring my cock ring?
Counciling advice for the Psychologically handicapped
Tell them the Godfather Sent you.
umm
Dennis is now Ram Rod's Bitch
umm
Bitch Boy likes to take it at both ends.

 

by xxxenon
4-05-05
This ia s actual letter I got from the Leasing Office
Oh ! somebody left a note on my door maybe it is a positive affirmation that will encourage.
You feel Good,positive energy.
A love letter from the Bitch in the office
Lets see what it says Dear Wendy,Recently you were notified regarding your outstanding Utility account.As you are aware,non-payment of these services constitutes a violation of your lease agreement.
Oh My God ! your in TROUBLE.
To understand
The outstanding amount of 16.37 $ is now due.Therefore in order to clear your account prior to the commencement of collection proceedings or evictions,you must submit a cashier's check or money order.
You paid that Utility bill and you are not a DELINQUENT !

 

by xxxenon
4-05-05
Failure to pay the full amount due,will result in more serious action,up to and including eviction,being taken to recover the debt.Sincerely Account Administrator.
Your running balance is 16 dollars and 37 cents.Your good name and credit is at risk.
How nice they even gave me a Resident Billing History.
Trash , Sewer,Water.
Have a nice day !
I would hate to see what they would do if I killed someone.
DO IT !

 

by xxxenon
4-05-05
Lets get a stripper pole for our apartment.
I got a better idea let's donate our sperm to the highest bidder.High grade specimens are between the ages of 19-39.
Are you on ebay again?
No ! It says right here that the International Breeding Society is looking for superior quality sperm all we have to do is give a semen sample.If we qualify we get a Home Theater System.
With surround sound.Is that the incentive?
Ya,plus we get to jerk off to Superior Intelligence !

 

by xxxenon
4-05-05
Where am I going to find achievement and high quality sperm ?
Do you want to buy some silver coins commemorating the late Roman Pontiff?
Not now,I am in deep thought.
Our holy Sheperd is lying in state at the Vatican.In his honor I think you should reconsider my offer.
Are Bishops allowed to donate sperm?
Your joking,right !

 

by xxxenon
4-05-05
I will take those coins on one condition that you help me with a research project.
On second thought,
I want you to be my recruiting officer.I will pay you twice as much as you will make peddling counterfeit truth.
who am I recruiting?
College students with genetic engineering degrees and extensive knowledge in Biotechnology.
I hope this has nothing to do with cloning sheep.

 

by xxxenon
4-06-05
This is a beautiful location overlooking the water,breathtaking prime property perfect for a movie shoot.I will send in the construction and design crew to bring this sleeping giant to life
A summer resort that will be handed down from one generation to the next
Why are you crying kid?
Your the first person who sees my vision, A flourishing buisness and a family oriented vacation spot
A hunter's paradise where we can free our minds of all the clutter and let go of our fears !
Why cant you be my Dad?

 

by xxxenon
4-07-05
Who taught you how to fish?
My Dad
Who taught you how to ride a bike?
My Dad
Who taught you how to row a boat?
My Dad

 

by xxxenon
4-07-05
So you must be the new recruit.
Who are you?
I am the foreman on this job site.We have alot of work ahead of us to get this site in tip top shape.Do you have any suggestions?
Ya, The seaweed needs to be cut so people can swim.I would like to see some new fishing boats,a couple of jet ski's,a party barge,and a Warlock power boat for tubing.
I meant in regards to the color sceme you are in charge of the painting & clean-up.
Dad !

 

by xxxenon
4-07-05
I have to work during my summer vacation !
What did you think this was going to be a picnic ?
That is my first assignment. I have to paint the picnic table. I hope it is water base paint because oil is a Bitch to get off your hands.
That is what paint thinner is for?
Do these look like the hands of hard labor?
Michelangelo had to start somewhere !

 

by xxxenon
4-07-05
If I am in charge of painting.What are you in charge of ?
I am the Entertainment Director.
How do I get your job?
A little chronic goes a long way.
I guess it pays to be a heavy hitter.
I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

 

by xxxenon
4-07-05
let's check online banking and see if my utility payment for 16.37$ cleared
no more sleepless nights !
What a relief,it cleared.My name is not on the shit list anymore and I can finially have self respect
The payment was due on April 1st ,there is a grace period.
Foolish me
Dont forget to say your prayers little one !

 

by xxxenon
4-07-05
I thought camping was about drinking beer,playing cards,and looking at girlie magazines.This manual labor is not what I had in mind.
Your the one who started this excellent adventure.
You got me into this pipe dream !
How do you figure?Your the one who wanted to meet the President. This is how the big boys hang-out.
What are we building here?
Your future !

 

by xxxenon
4-08-05
We call upon the powers of the Earth to bring us serenity and peace.
Keep us grounded and humble through our journey in life.
The seed of immortality has been laid to rest and Mother Earth has awakened.

Showing page 7.

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