All comics by Lord_Vodek

Profile

 

by Lord_Vodek
12-29-09
White ninja attack!
Umm no
Why?
Because no ninja wants to be white
You picked the outfit when we went to walmart...

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-02-10
What are you doing in a trash can?
What are you doing playing golf with out clubs?
Do you always answer a question with a question?
I don't know, Do I?
Smart Ass.
You caught me.

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-15-10
Real Conversation
I got my mom the perfect birthday gift
What's that?
I sent her The Complete Idiots Guide To Parenting
Uh...Don't you think that'll offend her?
That's kinda the point

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-15-10
PS3 Gamer Tag is jewpagan
I was Playing Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2 online the otherday
Sweet I love that game
Yeah anyway I was one kill away from a tactical nuke and I ran out of ammo with my riot shield
How do you run out of ammo with a riot shield?
Well I was just saying

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-15-10
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Why are you screaming?
I'm practicing
For what?
AHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHH!

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-17-10
Hey put that guitar hero controller back
hey can you here me?
I hate guitar hero cutouts

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-17-10
Ouch I'm in pain
Why?
Too much sex
You are complaining about having sex?
No I have blue balls because my girlfriend tied me down then made me watch while she slept with another really hot chick
Ouch

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-21-10
Well we haven't had our conversations in a while
Yeah so what's the subject today
I was thinking Scientology
Ok so what's the joke?
That was the joke...

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-25-10
I can't believe you interfaced with my wife
I'm sorry! We never meant for it to happen
Explain yourself Clango or face the wrath of Tobor!
Well one day we were talking she accidently downloaded a few of my iTunes and it was just a blur from there
That blur was the Virus you downloaded to her
I nev-...Wait...What?

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-25-10
Why couldn't you leave well enough alone it took the Robot Doctor 3 anti-virus packs to clean both me and Toborina's hard drives
I never trusted hackers I can't beleive you went to one
A robot Soap Opera
I thought we were supposed to be best friends
Well...I...Uh...
Will you stop playing with the screw on your chest and be serious!?!?!?!
I can't help it I always play with this screw when I'm nervous

 

by Lord_Vodek
1-25-10
What the hell kind of robot are you?
A robot Soap Opera
If I had any organs you would make me sick!
God damnit your batteries ran out again didn't they? I hate Energizer

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-01-10
Why is there a park bench in a muesem?

 

That's offensive as hell. Where the hell is Darwin? I'm gonna kick that white boys ass!
by Lord_Vodek, 2-01-10

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-08-10
Today my gas station tried to kill me
What happened?
It blew itself up while I was in it because I went to a differant station last week
Did you survive?
No
That's intense

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-10-10
My sister's birthday is on Valentine's day
really?
Yeah
Is she single?
She's turning 6

 

My vag looks like that? No wonder guys run away
by Lord_Vodek, 2-12-10

 

(Yes I know Iraqis aren't terrorists)
Merry Christmas you arrogant terrorist bastards
by Lord_Vodek, 2-16-10

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-22-10
Mother fucker! I told you not to drink my soda!
What?
Exactly...

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-24-10
I've been thinking lately everyone says christianity is the only true path if that was true God would give me a sign
Wow...Ok you win I'll give Christianity a try
Hmmm I wonder if he does signs in strip clubs...

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-24-10
Well my father is happy now
So you finally gave in and became Christian
Yes, for better or for worse I am following the word of Christ
You do know you can't wear goth clothes anymore right?
Want to go sacrifice a goat?
That lasted a long time...

 

by Lord_Vodek
2-28-10
You know how most people dread telling their parents they are wiccan?
Yes
Well I have the same problem
But your parents are wiccan
I know I'm afraid to tell them I'm christian

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-01-10
I don't know how to handle it man
Handle what?
I'm madly in love with her, And she knows it and she loves me too but she doesn't want to hurt me...
That sucks man
What should I do?
Just shut the fuck up and find a hooker already

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-01-10
Hmm I wonder
Yep, still warm
Well no ones watching

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-01-10
Did you know my birthday is the same day as Big Bens?
Yeah I know
Really how?
Well the biggest sign was...
...your huge Jew nose

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-07-10
God is a terrible father
How is that?
Well for one he killed his own son on a cross but it doesn't stop there
Oh? Tell me more
He also told Abraham to sacrifice his son.
I guess that's the reason God was never Interveiwed for Parenting magazine

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-07-10
Hey man what's up?
I heard you and Jessica got in another arguement
Yeah you know the way we fight you would think we were dating
Yeah but you know what that means that you do whatever she asks you too?
What's that
You're whipped without the bonus of great pussy

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-07-10
I'm in my crushes church drama
Really? What part are you playing
A demon
Really sounds like the perfect roll for you
I think they are trying to tell me something because the Youth Pastor knows I'm a wiccan
You get stuck in the wierdest situations

 

Don't make me roundhouse kick you
by Lord_Vodek, 3-10-10

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-10-10
If god is real he should smite me right no-
Umm sir, you're leaning on the "Smite" button
Oh Whoops

 

Bless me father for I have sinned
Scandelous
by Lord_Vodek, 3-11-10

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-15-10
You've saved the world again Captain Greek
Yes I did
You're a real hero
Yes I am
Do you have a Pinecone stuck up your ass?
Yes I do

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-19-10
Today I lost my virginity at a church event right out side the youth pastors sleeping area
You were a virgin?
Yeah...But not anymore...
He was a virgin?
Are you ok?
He was a virgin?

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-21-10
Ummm
That's not cool...What about roast duck?
Duck?

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-26-10
Hey did you hear about that new restuaraunt?
Oh yeah what's it called?
Jack In the Boxers, Your mom eats there all the time
Where's it at? And why doesn't she take me?
It's between my legs and you're welcome anytime you want to come

 

by Lord_Vodek
3-28-10
I lost my virginity to the girl I love nine days ago
I know that...
Yesterday I set her up with the guy I think she's going to spend the rest of her life with
Why'd you do that?
I still haven't completely figured it out
You're an idiot

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-02-10
Well on the one hand I lose my virginity
But on the other I could get an STD or get her pregnant
Are you coming?
God damnit

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-03-10
Why are you holding your hand out
I was just plaing the Nintendo Wii
Carpul tunnel?
Yeah it was the new Wii Masterbate
Say what?
It's got killer two player action

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-09-10
You ever get that ominous feeling your life is screwed
Ummm...
No? Why?
She's pregnant...
Haha

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-09-10
There are two trains that leave the same point at the same time
Ok
One is red and the other is blue
Ok?
If they travel the same speed which STD will I get from your mom?

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-12-10
Hey your face is cut in half did you know that?
Hey your face is cut in half did you know that? Huh? Did ya? Did ya? Did ya?
SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-18-10
Luke! I am your father.
My name isn't Luke. And I'm not a clown. And finally my father died in a tragic cardiac accident
Too much sexting?
Too much sexting

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-18-10
Well it seems it's finally over folks
After hours of gutwrenching drama it has finally been ripped clean off and the world will always know what a brave brave woman Paris Hilton is. We now bring you live to Britney spears and her abortion
I'm sure glad that wasn't my boob

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-18-10
Really? I never knew that about hippies

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-23-10
Kaiba you cannot take my grandpas card
Yes I can
Oh yeah? Instant Puberty with my Millenium Puzzle!
Oh yeah Blue eyes white dragon!
That's nothing I have all five peices of Exodia!

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-24-10
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary
Damn. Stood up again.
What the hell do you want?

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-25-10
I'm Becky Sue reporting from the blacked out ER. How's my father doctor?
The lights went out while I was cutting open his heart he's dead
Really? I had a great life insurance policy on him. Want to fuck?
Ummm...Sure?
This is Becky Sue and my next report will be coming from My Vagina

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-25-10
What happened?
A drunk driver hit a family of six in thier SUV
Wow. Did any of them survive?
Yeah. But only because some jackass saved them all
I heard he was Canadian
Fucking Canadian

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-26-10
You mean I can't talk about how you-
I swear to your god I will kill your with my clubs
You swear to my god? Do you not have a god that you pray too?
I swore to your god to make sure you know how serious I am
I'm athiest.
Fuck you!

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-29-10
As we lay there at a church camping trip next to a lake on the ground staring up at the stars and talking with her. She turned to me and this is what she said
You still want to be on top?
I was a virgin so of course I jumped at the oppurtunity to finally lose my virginity
Ummm...Ok...
And In a flash! It was over...
Well that was damn right disapointing

 

by Lord_Vodek
4-30-10
She what?
Well you see the thing is. I gave her a skittle then I turned my penis into a snake and then back again
Really? That must have been funny as hell.
It was she thought she was tripping balls
Well be that as it may oh well I don't really care...Did you get those pictures of Medusa I asked for?
Well uhhh...About that...Yeah...I kind of dropped the ball on that one

Showing page 8.

« Previous Next »