All comics by LuckyGuess

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by LuckyGuess
3-11-06
As I've said before, this is a very nice piece of property.
The bathrooms are made with exquisite marble fixtures, and each and every room was designed by the famous French interior decorator Louis DeSol.
Um...
In fact, this entire house was built on one of the most revered Indian burial grounds in the world.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-11-06
Johnson! I needed that package a half and hour ago! What were your package launch orders?
I already ate lunch. I didn't pack it.
Are you drunk, Johnson?
I always wanted a puppy. I LIKE puppies.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-11-06
Nice place you got here, Abe.
Thanks.
Do you want a wish?
No, not really. I just wanted to prove a point.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-12-06
Good to be back from another long day of saving the world!
Take your shoes off, dear.
But Mom, we live in an ice cavern.
Back in my day, we were lucky if we could find a cave to live in that even had water, much less ice.
I should have put you in a home by now.
I may be old, but I can still whip your super ass. Bring me back a switch, boy.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-12-06
If you'll look out this window, you'll see the suffering souls of the damned.
Aren't we in limbo now? I thought the righteous were in limbo.
Just because we were righteous doesn't mean we don't like a good show.
That's sick.
That's entertainment.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-13-06
So all that you guys do in limbo is watch everyone who isn't in limbo suffer?
Plus we masturbate. There's a lot of masturbation.
Why don't you all have limbo sex?
You have no idea how not hot limbo sex actually is.
Oh. Oh. ...*sigh*... Baby.
Yes. Oh yes. Oh...Tell you what, how about we just masturbate?

 

by LuckyGuess
3-13-06
Welcome to the black wind. Here, those who fell to the temptation of lust flail eternally in the uncomfortable breeze.
That doesn't seem so bad.
It wouldn't, except for the fact that black wind sex is even worse than limbo sex.
Father, this really isn't working. If you'd just try to hold your dick still...
I'd do that, but this uncomfortable wind I'm flailing around in isn't helping.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-13-06
I've decided to market my Jesus video game.
I'm not familiar with the concept.
You control Jesus as he fights the Axis powers during World War 2, and you can power him up with laser vision and fire breath.
How are you going to market it?
I dunno. Something like, "Jesus Saves Your Ass From The Nazis With Laser Vision And Fire Breath."
I think we have a winner.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-13-06
How did the G4 spot go?
Terrible. I was too full of anxiety and self doubt to effectively market the game. Then I got so nervous I pissed myself.
It smelled like asparagus.
I forget why I'm a part of this.
I also added Asparagus Piss as one of Jesus's special power-ups. It's awesome.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-13-06
I just signed advertising contracts with MTV, Nickolodeon, and Disney.
They made some changes to the game, didn't they?
Well, the title changed.
What's it called?
Jesus, Flava Flav, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Hillary Duff's Disembodied Vagina Save Your Ass From the Nazis With Laser Vision and Fire Breath.
What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

by LuckyGuess
3-13-06
Oh, God! I'm such a failure! I couldn't market my game, and my penis is shriveled and dead from prolonged exposure to ice water! I'm just going to kill myself!
Do we have any angels left to show this kid his life is worth living?
No. Well, I take that back.
crabby? Where'd you come from?
Fuckin Jesus.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-13-06
We're back on the G4 chanel, the shitty channel completely dedicated to video games. We're LIVE with the creator of Wine Tasters Jesus Xtreme Party May Cry: Tales of the Gutter.
The honor sort of goes away after the first time, but it's okay to be here as long as your boobs are kind of showing.
Is it true that you have incorporated new elements into this game using the advice of an angel sent from God?
Yes it is. In fact, he's playing the game in the testing studio now.
So right now you're tasting wine as Hillary Duff's disembodied vagina?
This room smells like cheese balls and wasted lives.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-13-06
Dad, you said we could play ball today.
Later.
You haven't payed any attention to me since you bought that new wine tasting game.
What a whiner. And to think I believed that dying for humanity's sins would give this idiot a backbone.
Sometimes I think you love that game more than you love me.
Whoa! I just unlocked Flava Flav!

 

by LuckyGuess
3-15-06

 

by LuckyGuess
3-15-06
Dude! I just had a killer idea for the next Comic Competition!
Too bad. I'm using our computer, so you'll have to use the wireless connection on the laptop.
So? At least I can post it!
Just be aware that the connection goes in and out. Sometimes I send multiple E-mails to people when I use the service.
What? Three topics? Noooooooooo!
By the way, I wasn't really using our computer.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-16-06
Hello, computer. Iäm going to make some comics now.
Zou shouldänt do that.
Whz the fuck not_
Someone reconfigured zour kezboard and it doesnät work right.
Thatäs gaz.
Zou said it+

 

by LuckyGuess
3-17-06
Munch, munch.
Munch, munch.
That hot dog was made from victims of the Rwandan genocides.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-19-06
Have you ever tried to drop it like it's hot, generally speaking?
I've considered dropping it, but never like it's hot. The physiodynamics of the entire operation would be jepordized what my perception of "hot" happens to be.
Here's the issue I'm facing: Should one indeed drop it like it's hot, the contact of "it" with the first surface it collides with would transfer the heat, thereby nixing "it's" status as a hot object.
Theoretically, one could hold the object for several seconds before release, transferring the heat from "it" into your own body.
Drop it like it's warm? An interesting premise.
Interesting, to be sure. However, one must first factor in both badonkadonk and a funky fresh beat.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-20-06
People should not be afraid of their government; a government should be afraid of it's people.
Never truer words were spoken.
I must question the validity of the arguments against this film. Many political activists want it pulled because they say it glorifies terrorism and creates anti-government sentiments.
And your problem? People are entitled to their own opinion.
It's a film about the dangers of fear and government censorship. Had anyone actually watched the movie, they would know why they're wrong.
Bill O'Reilly will have your ass.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-20-06
Jimmy doesn't want to play with me anymore.
I'm sorry, honey, but he's growing up.
It's not fair. I like playing with Jimmy.
Since he turned ten, so does Jimmy.
Penis!

 

by LuckyGuess
3-27-06
Jared, I want you to wait here until everyone else arrives. We need to establish a buddy system.
Okay, everyone. I want you all to pair up with a buddy so that nobody gets lost in the city.
Where's Jared?

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
Where am I?
A used bookstore.
Do you have any Tomes of Black Magic?
As a matter of fact, I do.
This is all in Gaellic. I can't read how to cast the spells.
Just improvise. I'm sure that the demons of the netherrealm will be forgiving. They've only been waiting in endless torment for an eternity.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
What kind of store is this?
Comic book store.
Seriously, kid. I'm not trying to crush your pitiful nerdy hopes.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
Oh, man! They carry Battle Pope! And Marvel Mangaverse! And *squeal* The Looking Glass Wars!
I should have worked at the used book store.
I'll buy all of this.
Let's see... Battle Pope, Marvel Mangaverse, The Looking Glass Wars... You don't have a girlfriend, do you?
Be nice.
That'll be $18.50.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
Man, I love Battle Pope.
Jared! We've been looking everywhere for you!
I found Jared. Call the chaperones and tell them he's with us.
Jared?

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
I love this restaurant. Too bad those retards all wanted chili dogs and Sprite.
Welcome to Taste of Italy. Would you like an appetizer?
I would love your breasts, thank you.
I'm sorry, did I say breasts? I meant massive, throbbing tits. Now does that come with soup?

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
Oh, man! That was the best tortellini I've ever had!
Excuse me, sir. There is a large group of annnoying theater buffs that are loudly complaining about how you aren't following the rules of the trip outside.
Yes, I would love your breasts, thank you.
Pouring ice water on someones crotch is unbecoming of a lady. Especially one with such firm, massive tits.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
There you are!
FUCK!
So where's Jared?
He's right behind me.
RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRING
Right?
Who opened the emergency exit?!

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
And little league fathers shall be drunk and belligerent.
The Winners are gonna win, bitch!
The Tigers are taking it this time, you fat fucker!

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
Welcome to the Ahsland Herbal Medicine Center. Can I interest you in a vitalising lotion?
No, thank you.
Are you sure? It's free.
No, really. I'm fine.
Let me rub you, damnit.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
BEEPBEEPBEEP
Hold on a sec, I have to answer this.
I'm gonna rub you like there's no tommorrow.
Hello?
Where are you?! You're gonna get us in trouble!
CLICK
Sorry about that. Now then, you were hitting on someone less than half your age?
Oh yeah, almost forgot. So... lotion?

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
Oh my God... I'm gonna die...
Jesus Christ, are you okay?
I narrowly escaped some horny forty year old hippie chick from the Herbal Remedy Center.
Is that a copy of The Looking Glass Wars?
Well... yeah...
You should probably head back there if you ever want to get laid. Ever.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
Jared, everyone is telling me that you're avoiding them and going off on your own in the city.
We can't have that, Jared. If anything happened to you, then you know the school would be liable. You know, if you keep this up...
"Jared? Are you listening?"
Ready to attack the demons, Battle Pope?
Of course, Jared! Let's get 'em and get laid!

 

by LuckyGuess
3-28-06
What time is it? 7:30?
Hell, now I have to go see the damn play.
Damn you, life size statue of Shakespeare. Damn you to hell.

 

by LuckyGuess
3-30-06
I'm going to buy Kingdom Hearts 2.
Ha! Why? RPG's are lame!
Monsterseed, Chrono Cross, Jade Cocoon, Star Ocean, Shining Tears, Final Fantasies 7, 9, and 10, Diablo 2, Morrowind, Dragonseed, Master of Monsters, and Ark The Lad.
What are those?
RPGs you spent more than 70 hours playing.
Dude, come on. Master of Monsters was only, like, 65.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-02-06
Ah, hello warrior. You must be new around here.
Nice place you got here.
Warrior?
I claim this house in the name of storing large piles of useless items.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-02-06
What can you tell me about Morrowind?
Everything. I dress like a hip anti-establishment youth despite the fact that I'm a forty seven year old man working in a video game store.
So what can you tell me about Morrowind?
Everything. My landlords are my parents.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-02-06
You can fight epic battles with awesome foes and collect over 40,000 unique and powerful items!
Mud Crab Engaged
*Miss*, *Miss*, *Miss*, *Miss*
Vaardenspale Bookshop
Would you like to buy our brand new tome, "O is for Ogre?" Only 5,000 Gold!

 

by LuckyGuess
4-04-06
My Shakespearean quotations of obscure poetry far outsurpass your feeble attempts at literary recitation.
Can your Shakespearean quotations of obscure poetry save you from a drunken pooltable ass-ramming?
Touche.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-05-06
What Google ads do you have for me today?
Pirate Flag: We found it.
That's it?
That's it.
Wanna play checkers?

 

by LuckyGuess
4-05-06
What are you downloading?
Room of Angel from the Silent Hill 4 soundtrack.
LAME! LOSER ALERT! WHAT A LOSER! LOOK IT'S A LOSER EVERYBODY! WHAT A NERD!
NERD! NERD! WHAT A HUGE FUCKING NERD!
Your death shall be my greatest accomplishment.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-07-06
Hey Jared, what are you gonna do after high school?
I'll be double majoring in Political Science and Journalism while working in the city council office.
One day I hope to be a state senator.
I'm gonna sit around bitching about how college is gay and how my parents who support me are the devil.
Just remember to vote for me.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-07-06
The bill is deadlocked! Senator Lucky, how do you propose to break the tie?
Very simple: Street Fighter.
The Democrats can be E. Honda and the Republicans can be Chun-Li.
The floor recognizes the Senator from Kentucky.
Can we be Balrog?

 

by LuckyGuess
4-10-06
Hey, Cinnamon rolls for 75 cents! Okay, A.... 2...
click click vwrrrrr
scrish
It's on now, muthafucka.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-10-06
How dare you withold my preprocessed sugary lunch from me! I will make you pay for your impudence!
I swear in the name of God that I will not not rest until your pitiful ambitions and dreams have been crushed like bugs in the dust!
Why don't you just buy another Cinnamon roll?
Never! NEVER!!!!

 

by LuckyGuess
4-10-06
*munch munch munch*
This rice crispy treat is made all the more better because it didn't get caught on the hook and I actually got to eat it.
You okay? You look a little angry.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-10-06
Good fairy, please grant my humble request! I wish to see my father just once when he was alive.
Oh... that is the best request I've ever had! Of course I'll grant your wish!
HAW! Gotcha! I don't have a father!
Seriously though, I want breasts. Big ones, no surgical scars.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-10-06
Mrow.
What, Kitty? You caught something?
OH MY GOD! IT'S A FAIRY! IT'S AN UNCONCIOUS FAIRY WITH BIG
Please leave the room. I'll call you in a half an hour.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-11-06
u should make more comics that are as funny as that
how many things have u jumped with your motorcycle i jump tons of stuff
really that sounds amazing
yes i can hold my breathe longer than nanyone on these forums i bet
Does anyone love me yet?
No. Keep posting.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-14-06
Make me comics about the ocean!
No.

Showing page 8.

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