All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-27-16
At home with ragu4u & makin_d_bacon
SO, d_bacon, got any new year resolutions?
Maybe, but if I tell em they won't come true.
They're not WISHES, you moron...they're lifestyle changes.
You mean "I" actually have to DO something? They don't just HAPPEN?
Everyone knows that EVERYTHING worth doing takes real effort.
Not EVERYTHING. Now where did I put that "stool softener"?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-28-16
Only 3 1/2 days left! How many more celebrities ya want?
I'll take all I can get. The "TMZ" types rarely wind up HERE!
RARELY ain't the half of it!
ONE...just bring me ONE celebrity who I'd actually let IN!
But as the year came to a close.....
So what was wrong with HIM? He had his own TV show!
Get real! "Flipper" is a washed up has been!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-28-16
Welcome to "Jack Rabbit Automotive". We'll fix yer car fast as a Jack Rabbit!
OK, but I'm in a hurry.
No worries! I'll put my best man on it.
I hope this mechanic knows his stuff!
Howdy! I'm yer mechanic, Du-ane!
Oh shit!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-28-16
Hey, who gave ya THAT?
I got it from our neighbor, Mr. Friendly. And there's more.
But didn't he just die?
So?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-29-16
"I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain. What a wonderful feeling, I'm happy aga..."
*sniff, sniff*
Who in the hell cries while watching "Singing in the Rain"? Hey d_bacon, did ya hear? That old bat Debbie Reynolds just kicked the can! Bwhahahaha
"...just singing in the rain"!
*Cold hearted Bastard"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-29-16
Yes...Carrie Fisher & her mother 's service will be HERE!
Great! I'll need room for several camera crews and a grandstand for mourning fans.
This is a house of God. We don't cater to the lewd lust for film clips and sound bites for those living out their own "TMZ" fantasies!
Would a a lap dance from Jessica Alba change your mind?
On second thought...Mi casa, su casa!
Jessica! Put on the "Sin City" outfit and get in here!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-29-16
You're certain Father Joe is going blind?
Yup..and I can prove it. Just watch from his outer office!
Father Joe, Sister Mary would like to see you in your office.
I'm on my way!
*squak*
Sister Mary, so good to see you, but you sound a bit hoarse today.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-30-16
Damnit! I have ZERO inspiration!
So? THAT never stopped ya before!
Are you saying that ALL my comics lacked inspiration?
Oh...THAT'S what they were? Comics?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-30-16
Pops, we gotta do something about "The Dynamic Uno".
Don't tell me ragu4u & makin_d_bacon are fighting... AGAIN?
Like two priests at Boys Town.
Did you just say what...?
Should I re-phrase that?
Man...I wish I'd cancelled "Comedy Central" a long time ago.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-30-16
Hey little white girl, wanna play with my balls?
No, but my mommy does!
Cool. Have her sachet her fine lil white ass on out here and if she's lucky I may let her touch my balls.
So, you come to squeeze my balls I see.
Not really. I'll just settle for kicking them so hard they'll get stuck in your throat!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-30-16
Today we practice "hitting"! Now go grab some bats.
Ok...after supper!
No! Go get em NOW!
I'll try but ...
I knew it! They're all still asleep!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-31-16
rags & d_bacon bored yet AGAIN.....
Well...here we are. News years eve and it's just me & you! How lame?
Sad...ain't it?
It's beyond sad! We NEVER do ANYTHING different.
Maybe it isn't that bad. I know a guy who offered us a remedy of sorts...
OK, OK...then what?
Then you secure the bags tightly around your necks, insert the tube under the bag and turn on the Helium.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-31-16
It's lucky that helium tank was almost empty.
So THAT isn't HIM?
No way. THIS fella is dead. Your guy is in the other room still laughing his arse off.
Oh shit...I can just see & hear him now!
The next day at the local "Dollar Tree"...
So you're mad because the helium gas tank I rented you didn't have enough gas to kill you & your room-mate? Is that right?
Hell, when you put it like THAT it makes ME sound like I'M the bad guy! Now cough up my $1.99, pronto.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-31-16
Dare we say it, ragu4u?
We must, makin_d_bacon. The world deserves to KNOW!
Said in unison.....
"The BIGWORM has re-turned"!
"The BIGWORM has re-turned"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-31-16
Egads d_bacon, how does A.Lunch know our "20"?
Our 20 what?
That's "military speak" for our location, knuckle head!
Well you probably let it slip out in one of your drunken stupors. *(Oh shit..now he's gonna say...)*
Hey, that's what SHE said!
He's SO friggin predicable!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-01-17
Sorry Ivanka. I know this place is a dump but we gotta live here.
Can we at least keep our slaves?
WHOA! Lose that terminology PRONTO young lady. We got a new image to project.
What a drag!
From now on we'll just refer to em as "our darkies", ok?
I'm going Vale for four years.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-01-17
There's your new home, son!
But it's PUNY! And I'll bet NOTHING exciting will EVER come out of withered relic.
Hmmm....
That's what SHE said!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-01-17
Ya'll better move! I'm gonna jump!
Ha! I dare ya, Mister!
At Street Level...
Hey there Timmy...what's goin down?
Some business man!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-02-17
If you want in ya gotta check with the Gate-Keeper.
Yes, I'm the Gate-Keeper but your name isn't on my list...ergo.....
Oh oh...here it comes...
That kid is an Anti-Semite, Semite!
These Jews...always with the "sour grapes"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-02-17
Nice vest, but you've got a loose string. I used to be a Tailor. Let me snip it off for you.
It's there for a reason. Leave it. Besides, I'm in a hurry!
Ok Ok...Oy Vey! Such a big hurry everybody is in!
I have a Subway to catch. Let me by!
2 min. later....
Whoa...now zat didn't sound good!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-02-17
A day off for ragu4u & makin_d_bacon
Here's the snobby Art Museum you're so hot to visit.
Quit your griping. The "Jackson Pollock" pieces will improve your mind.
Here they are. So...what do you think?
They look about like something a dumb Polack would paint.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-02-17
Alright you geriatric maggots...drop down and gimme twenty!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-04-17
"Nukes have been placed on Lithuanian border..."
Oh shit...I gotta tell ragu4u.
It's true. WW-III might start in Lithuania!
How cool is THAT? Talk about a coup for the land of inept hitmen!
So you're not in the least bit worried that Lithuanian hitmen will soon rule the world?
No way d_bacon! Remember...Lithuanian firing squads practice in a circular formation. It tends to thin out their herd.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-04-17
But the U.S. is friends with Lithuania...
That's what they WANT you to believe.
Who? The U.S.?
No way, stupid....the Sicilians!
So how did the "goombas" get into this discussion?
Because EVERYONE knows that SICILY is the "University of Phoenix" for hitmen everywhere.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-04-17
Now I'm REALLY confused!
Then my work here is done. Deception is my name...fake news is my game.
But what about all this talk of chaos...
It's all just a smoke-screen. Calm down. "Sponge Bob Square Pants" is about to come on.
"Who-ooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea?...."
Thank God there is still something to believe in!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-05-17
Tucker Carlson will take over the 9pm slot on FNC replacing Megyn Kelly...
...replacing Megyn Kelly...
Oh crap...d_bacon ain't gonna like THIS!
...and she jumped ship to go over to NBC...
So Lester Holt gets screwed yet AGAIN?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-05-17
Hurry up! I got another "john" on his way!
Just hold your horses lady. This takes time, ya know.
Bullshit, it does!
It TRUE! Killing all the germs YOU leave behind is a monumental task!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-05-17
In an Arizona Jail.......
I hear old Joe Arpaio retired.
Yup! Finally we won't have to wear pink underwear anymore.
And we'll be treated with respect like MEN...not animals!
Wait! I'm not too sure. Here comes the new sheriff now.
Hi laddies! I'm Sheriff Paul Penzone. I want you to turn in the pink undies. We're going commando with Paisly smocks with Peter Pan collars. Gerbil insertion will be in a half hour so lube up!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-05-17
I still think global warming is all bullshit, Willie!
Hey...a little snow don't mean jack shit.
A LITTLE? There must be 6ft. of snow out here.
So? This kinda thing happens a lot!
Not here at the Equator, it don't!
He does have a point!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-06-17
Chen, you look perplexed.
Oh...I was just day dreaming about them golden globes...
You WHAT?
I take it your co-worker doesn't follow "Award Shows"?
You take THAT right!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-06-17
And the "Golden Globe" for Best Actor goes to....
Whoa....this CAN'T be...
What's wrong?
This is HUGE....it's unheard of...it's, it's...
For God's sake man...what is it?
It's unbelievable! I can save 15% by switching to Geico!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-06-17
In the park with Gay Gabe ...
You know, I come here everyday and watch you and...
...I've arrived at an amazing conclusion.
And what's THAT, you nosey little rodent?
You actually like nuts in your mouth even more than ME!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-06-17
1am
Hey baby, how's about you come home with ME?
Sure. I'd love to.
3am
Now I like it doggie style. You ok with THAT?
It's what I live for you hunkster, you! We'll have kinky sex all night & screw like rabbits till dawn. OK?
But at 11am when the "Beer Goggles " came off...
Who the hell are YOU?
As of 5am... I became your WIFE!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-07-17
I tell ya d_bacon, I'd be thinking twice before borrowing money from this guy!
Look rags, we're about to be evicted and the cupboard is bare.
I'm just saying...A "Loan Shark" ain't the answer.
Don't be silly. What makes you think Mr. Genovese is a loan shark, anyway?
...and it's 25% interest daily or limbs start to go missing. Capice?
I hate when rags is right!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-07-17
Drexel's "Sex Shoppe".......
I'm here to return that toy you sold me. It's defective.
You mean the Super Duper Black Max Dildo, "Vibrate-atron" with lifetime batteries?
Lifetime my arse. I used em all the first week.
Wow, that's quite a lot of "dildo-ing", if I do say so myself! So...you want a replacement?
No way! I want an adapter that will hook it to my 426 Dodge Hemi. I expect HUGE O-P-G's!.
I'm assuming O-P-G's means orgasms per gallon, right?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-08-17
New boss dresses down Chen...
I mean it Chen...listen to me when I'm talking to you!
Right, boss...
Remember, that MY opinion is the ONLY one that matters!
If I wanted to hear from an "ass-hole" I'd have FARTED!
Her "Linkedin" page states she used to be a mind reader.
No shit? NOW you tell me?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-08-17
Sister, did you notice that both ragu4u & makin_d_bacon were in Service today?
How could I NOT?
They do project quite a presence don't they?
Do they ever! Between the big guy's B.O. and the short pink fella's farting they do give the Sactuary a certain "air"!
Outside Church, after the Service...
Don't you think it's a bit odd, d_bacon, that church is always full till we walk in?
Not really when you factor in how intimidating our holiness must be to the "bourgeois" church goers.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-09-17
Inside Chez ragu-d_bacon......
What actually DID happen to all your old deleted comics?
You do know that if I tell you, I'll have to KILL you, right?
STOP IT already with all the damned DRAMA!
If you can't take the heat...get outta the kitchen!
...but even after relocating....
OK then...how's THIS? Better? So where's the old comics?
If you can't take the heat...get outta the rumpus room!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-09-17
What ya doin?
Fuckin up!
How so?
Ask HIM!
It's pretty self explanatory, kid!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-10-17
Whadya mean "I don't like black people"? How would YOU know, anyway?
Because I'm black...FOOL!
Nah, nah, nah...you're black-ISH! There's a difference.
How's so?
If you were truly BLACK then every noun in your vocabulary would be predicated by the manditory term, "mutha-fucka" or "mutha-fuckin!
Hmm...he do got a point!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-10-17
So, to what do we owe the honor, Phil?
Yeah, ragu4u & makin_d_bacon are one busy individuals!
That don't even make sense but I did notice you're up to 10 followers!

 

So I misspelled "Keeping" in my last comic. So what? SUE ME!
by Makin_d_bacon, 1-10-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-10-17
Holy moley! d_bacon is losing it. He's making spelling errors out the wahzoo! I better check this out.
Hey d_bacon...do me a favor. Spell the word "DOG" backwards.
No problemo, rags!
Damn..it's worse than I thought!
D-O-G! How'd eye due?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-10-17
Son, would you like me to hear your confession before we crash?
Crash? We're gonna CRASH?
Oh! You must be with that Jewish blind group.
I am!
Then to hell with you Christ killers!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-11-17
I want a puppy daddy!
OK Ivanka but it MUST be a retreiver!
Why's that, daddy?
Beacause I like my retreivers like I like my parachutes & showers...
Golden?
You know it, baby!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-11-17
At Chez ragu-d_bacon......
Hey d_bacon! I've done ya a YUGE favor.
You're moving out?
NO! I've decided to make you a "donor" on Stripcreator.com so you can correct all your spelling errors and delete your bad comics.
And THEN you're moving out?
I just don't get no respect!
I don't know rags. You kinda have a delicate history in connection with the old "delete" button!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-11-17
What's gonna happen to us Union members when Missouri goes "Right- To-Work"?
We'll just keep paying our Union dues...
...but we won't get ANYTHING for them!
So nothings changing?
Yup...pretty much!

 

Update From "The Dynamic Uno"....
OK Bitches...there are A new donors in town!
Yeah Bitches...and WE would be HIM!
by Makin_d_bacon, 1-11-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-11-17
Did you hear?
About what?
Those two guys who think thery're one guy are...
What? Donors on Stripcreator.com?
I hear there's a shitstorm topside!
It's that Saucy Pig, ain't it? I hate those guy!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-11-17
Listen up punk. In here you gonna be MY bitch! Got it?
You gonna do what I say! Well? Cat got yer tongue?
Nice cock for an old man. Let's fuck.
Damnit...I just wanted a guy to do my chores!

Showing page 8.

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