All comics by RedfeatheR

Profile

 

by RedfeatheR
10-06-07
Father, I have a religious question...
You can ask me any question that pertains to religion
If God and Jesus had sex...
Would it be incest or masturbation?

 

by RedfeatheR
10-14-07
Hey Choad! Howyah doin'?
i nailed paul walker yesterday
Godammit Choad! You get entirely too much ass
negatory. i'm just in a streak
Choad, you rat! The only streaks I get involve me throwing my underpants away!!!
Then I suggest you start having sex with men... or actually wiping your ass instead of just making a *FFFT-FFFT* sound with your mouth

 

by RedfeatheR
11-04-07
Yes, I've been taking this stuff that has stopped my period for 4 whole months!
Stomachaches though

 

by RedfeatheR
11-19-07
If you're getting a blowjob and she doesn't have tear-stained cheeks for one reason or another... You're wrong
Venti Caramel Macchiato, Extra foam, No whip

 

by RedfeatheR
11-20-07
She's never as gay as when your dick turns out to be small
...well...
...My dick is pleanty big so...
Mine t--
Give me a Grande Iced TAZO... with... ...with a Mocha--... ...no... ...goddammit...

 

by RedfeatheR
11-30-07
OK. I need you to put as many 1lb Christmas coffees out around the store as you can and I'll do the rest after your done.

 

by RedfeatheR
12-13-07
NEVER shake babies... They could DIE!
Well of COURSE NOT!
...but already dead babies...

 

by RedfeatheR
1-12-08
... and man...
she said I made her cum ALL NIGHT!!!! And BOY she wasn't kiddin'!!!
She was soaked the WHOLE time!!!
You sure that wasn't just Snatchsweat?...

...maybe those were just multiple POREgasms
You're funny

 

by RedfeatheR
1-12-08
But I led a good life! Just because I'm gay shouldn't mean tha--
Sorry we to not accept C.O.Ds
What does
Cash-On-Delivery have anything to do wit--
Cock Over Dose
It stands for Cock Over Dose

 

by RedfeatheR
1-22-08
I wish I knew how to quit you!
I wish for a million goddamn dollars!!!

 

I wish I knew how to quit you!
by RedfeatheR, 1-22-08

 

by RedfeatheR
1-26-08
Motherfu... Dammit!
I knew that filling the "Nietzsche Niche" would do nothing but sap our resources!
Oh, and I suppose you knew it would happen in a German accent too, right Paul?

 

by RedfeatheR
1-27-08
Man... I wanna rape the ever loving shit out of Nancy... I can imagine it now... There would be so many tears
It'd probably be fairly easy now that she lives alone and Dirk took the dog... ...Wait a minute... Did you say tears or tears?
Either way, it's bad Mick
Woah! HEY Mick, I think someone's climbing through her win- ...Mick?

 

by RedfeatheR
2-18-08
Do you have the stuff?
What stuff?
The Right Stuff
Do I write what?
NO! Not write, Right!
Third Base!!!

 

by RedfeatheR
3-25-08
Hi Melvin.
So, Chen, what are you doing in my backyard?
Why aren't you at work?
Sweet Jesus!!!!!! I'm late!
You're fucking late Mel...
Sorry Ted, Goddamn Chinese made alarm clock wondered into the backyard

 

by RedfeatheR
4-05-08
What if your kid turned out to be black?
I would ask her if she had any black in her background
So obviously you would never marry a black woman
I don't think of black woman when I think of getting married
What do you think of then?
Fuck you

 

by RedfeatheR
4-27-08
As you can see, the equation makes perfect sense.
I don't care what the mathmatical odds are. We had sex. You now have AIDS

 

by RedfeatheR
4-29-08
But I don't think I could quite imitate the way does attract men. Human males don't exactly get turned on when a female pees on the ground.
Yeah... that's gross
Your heavy breathing contradicts your convictions sir

 

by RedfeatheR
5-15-08
You know what I hate?
Jews?
NO! I ha-
Wait, no, yes. I hate Jews
You're now one of us... You're finally a Gibson

 

by RedfeatheR
6-18-08
Oh wow, so robots are allowed into heaven?
Nope
But you're a robot
Yep
But how-...
You've believed in God your whole life... and you're having trouble with this...

 

by RedfeatheR
6-22-08
LIFE ON MARS?! Some suspect that the white substance recently discovered on the surface of Mars is ice...
... others believe it's a softer chalk like rock that was scraped up with the dirt...
...still others venture to guess that maybe it's dried deity jizzum left over from the "Big Bang"

 

Oh shit... there really is a heaven?
Damn straight... The clouds are made up of Joe Pesci's obstinacies... Motherfucker really knows how to get things done.
by RedfeatheR, 6-23-08

 

by RedfeatheR
6-23-08
I believe in God because I'm too scared of nothing happening after death
What if God sends you to hell?
Well... In that case I don't believe in God because I'm too scared that something happens after death
Wait a minute...
You're not the watercooler

 

by RedfeatheR
6-30-08
TOBOR WANTS ASSHOLE
Too Goddamn bad! You're a robot so no soul for you!
RAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
heh, oOOoooOn second thought, what do I know about semi-sentient souls?

 

by RedfeatheR
7-01-08
What's that?
Smells like a box of dicks
Why ask a man with a box of dicks questions?
I figured you couldn't be all that bad. That box doesn't seem to be entirely full
About that...

 

by RedfeatheR
7-06-08
Brian, who else is... Are you talking to the WALL?!
!!!
One minute it's financial reports, then BOOM! Brian whipped around and started apologizing to the blank wall... Creepiest damn thing I ever saw.

 

by RedfeatheR
7-25-08
This driver's license is the best ever. Man I took great picture. I- OH SHIT my license flew out the windo-AaaaaaAHHHHhhhhhHH!!!
and that's how I lost my driver's license twice at the same time

 

by RedfeatheR
7-28-08
Is the music in that child?
What?
WRONG
"Almost" is the answer that is correct

 

by RedfeatheR
7-29-08
So... Rule #1: Anyone who isn't Christian goes to hell... Rule #2: Anyone who isn't a Church of Christ Christian goes to hell
don't stop
Rule #3: If you're not baptized in the correct and willing way, you go to hell even if you die on your way to the river to be baptized...

 

by RedfeatheR
7-29-08
Rule #4: All children go to Heaven... Wait... What's the cut-off age?
When the child knows about Jesus and that you can only be saved through him
Couldn't a 3-year-old understand that?
I've heard tell of 2-year-olds understanding it
So a 24-month-old baby is responsible for choosing whether or not to save its eternal soul, yet has to wait until 18 to vote for president
Are you kidding? Voting doesn't decide anything

 

by RedfeatheR
7-29-08
Rule #5: All of God’s "chosen people" (read: the Jews) go to hell... except for Jesus
Sounds sound
What about all the people that came before Jesus?
God judged them individualy I suspect. Either that or hell
Why did God stop judging individualy after Jesus died?
Because that's when the church of Christ was born

 

by RedfeatheR
7-29-08
Rule #6: Ref: Rule#3; You must be baptized by someone who has been baptized
Solid
Who baptized John the Baptist?
I don't know... I'm not sure if he even was
Didn't he baptize Jesus?
Wait, lemme see that

 

by RedfeatheR
7-29-08
Rule #7: "No one may enter the Kingdom except through me"
Thus baptism
Thus nothing. Couldn't he have meant he'll be there at the gate and no one will get by him unless he lets you?
Thus baptism

 

by RedfeatheR
7-29-08
Rule #8: God is infallible. God's will be done
Word... The Word is God you know
If you can't change God's mind why pray for anything?
Well, because...

 

by RedfeatheR
7-29-08
Rule #9: 7 is the holiest of numbers. The number of the beast is 666
13 is pretty bad too
Isn't that superstition thereby counting as a form of magic... magic being evil in the eyes of the Lord?
If God says it. It's not superstition
Isn't lying a sin?
Sure is! Why do you ask?

 

by RedfeatheR
8-10-08
Hey, My name is Buddy Love. Have you ever been in me?
Wah?
Oh man, I... I, I hahe-got that wrong somehow, I... just... lemme try this ag*gulp
I'm in Love... Have you ever bee- GODdammit

 

by RedfeatheR
8-24-08
HEY! Wanna pet my bear?
Pet your bare what?
My pet bear. HEY! Wanna buy him? He's real easy to tend to. During the winter, he does nothing but hibernate
Well you gotta do something to keep warm during the winter

 

by RedfeatheR
9-08-08
Dudedude! Sarah Palin said you can "Pray away the gay!"
My friend used to be gay.
Your friend is still gay
Wait... you're not talking about me are you? Because I don't pray

 

by RedfeatheR
9-13-08
So that was it?
Yeah I had beans for breakfast
So it was "GASth" more than wrath
hic. Yeah that's about what I-- ...yeup
More like "Hurricane Iken't believe people when nuts over a little ol' God fart"
Why would I hurt Houston? It's Bush country... Plus there's more mexicans than blacks. Not a utopia I know but... you know, better.

 

by RedfeatheR
9-15-08
More on Hurricane Ike's wake... Jimmy?
Well Gabrielle, I've been shoved inside a robot BY the robot that I'm now inside OF.
Gabrielleissick todaytellme what kind of hope these poor souls have towards the futureANYfuture that's more than just tears of saddness brought on by the PROSPECT... of no future at all
well...
For one, a future... outside of a robot. With dreams like these, they'll be back on their fetus soon as possible

 

by RedfeatheR
9-28-08
HOLY moley! Crabby has 4 stars! Isn't that funny?!
AAAaahaHaHaHahahaHA!!
Excusemeexcuseme
I asked you a goddamn question

 

by RedfeatheR
10-03-08
NO STOP!!
What the fuck?!
*CLICK*
Early withdraw? Really Sarah?

 

by RedfeatheR
10-09-08
Praying is against God's will if there is a God
What do you mean?
God's will is God's will. Praying for anything else is against God's will
But what if
NOnonono
Ah, yes, I see

 

by RedfeatheR
10-10-08
So I take it that you're not a Christian
Hell no! And there's no way you're gonna change my mind either jack! Your ways are stupid and wrong because they're different from mine!! In fact, I can't even be seen around someone like you
Are you sure you're no-
LALAlalalalalalaLALalalAlALALalaLaLA!!!!!!
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT A CHRISTIAN?!

 

by RedfeatheR
10-14-08
Oh, so you like Macs now? I must have influenced you because I have a Macbook. Like how you influenced me with your mus-
Word of the day?
What?
Influenced?
It means, like, when someone makes someone else
nonono I got it. Yeah, sure, that's why I like Macs

 

by RedfeatheR
11-05-08
Dear Edward, Thank you so much for voting for change. We just made history. And I don't want you to forget how we did it. You made history every single day during this campaign
We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next. But I want to be very clear about one thing... All of this happened because of you.
All white people must report to the cotton fields tomorrow morning at 7 am for orientation... xoxo Massa Barack

 

by RedfeatheR
11-11-08
Feb-Oct 2004
Aug 2005 - Mar 2006
Today
What? Is it Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday? I give up. What's today?

 

by RedfeatheR
11-13-08
I finally got that iphone you kept tel-
The what?
The iphone that you kep--
THE WHAT?!
..........*sigh*.......... the iPhone...
OH ME TOO!! iPhone buddieeeees!

 

by RedfeatheR
12-01-08
rocking
rocking
rocking

 

by RedfeatheR
12-14-08
Look into my eyes and see THIS sole!
SOLE LONG!
Shoo!

Showing page 8.

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