All comics by fzh

Profile

 

by fzh
9-17-04
Ahoy!
OK, spell "onomatopoeia"
Arrr....

 

by fzh
9-20-04
Ahoy matey! I be a Pirate!
Pi......rat?
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381
Dude!

 

by fzh
9-25-04
Life? Or a dream? How do we know?
*snap, snap, snap*
Hello? Is this thing on? Ok....
There once was a man from nantucket...

 

by fzh
9-30-04
Flip -Flop to the Flippity Flop. Flop Flop Flippy diddity Flippity Flop!
Flip with the Flop and we Flop to the Flip. Fliping with the Flopping to the Flopity Flip.
And you forgot Poland.

 

by fzh
9-30-04
This is funny! What do you get when you cross a blonde chick with an octopus?
My new girlfriend!

 

by fzh
9-30-04

 

by fzh
10-05-04
Wait, Andre goes to JLS?
Yeah, my dad said that since I went to Jordan, he wanted a little variety.
So....Is he going to go to Gunn when he gets into high school?
I don't know....
You know, he still hasn't given me his soul.

 

by fzh
10-05-04
So, do you guys ... Ya know ... Swing?

 

by fzh
10-05-04
Luke!
I am....
Your mom.

 

by fzh
10-08-04
I'm better!
Who am I?
I'm still alive.
WHAT!?
Boy, I sure do hate phlegm.

 

by fzh
10-10-04
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I just know I'm going to regret this. I'm going to hate this....
Panyo Panyo Di Gi Charat nyao! I'm Dejiko nyao!
IT BURNS!

 

by fzh
10-11-04
You know, even though I'm losing massive numbers of braincells and am thoroughly annoyed I think I'm kinda...enjiying this?
Oh no this can only mean one thing. I'm a masochist.
Damn you Dig Charat and your undermining my morals! DAMN YOU!

 

by fzh
10-26-04
Hey honey, what's with the clown suit?
It's to lighten the mood when I tell you thatI want a divorce!

 

by fzh
10-31-04
So, Katie, did you... loose anything at that party on sunday?
How do you know I haven't already lost it?
What? I was talking about your purse!

 

by fzh
11-03-04
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT ANYONE BUT WILLIAM HUNG AS MY PRESIDENT!

 

by fzh
11-04-04
So I says, "Well, them _____ ________ ain't gonna ________ _________ by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
________________ __________________

 

by fzh
11-04-04
You forgot Poland.
I hear there's rumors on the internets
Need some wood?

 

by fzh
11-12-04
I M GOIN 2 RAPP U!!!111
Oh no!
Tune in next week when...
You've got AIDS!

 

by fzh
11-13-04
I haven't made a comic that wasn't a contest entry for a while, so I'll make a comic about....um....
Around 4900 US men are named Patricia!

 

by fzh
11-13-04
Well, it's almot 3 am what it there to do?
I know, I'll watch some TV!
This is the thrilling tale of Billy Jack Joeston, who fell into his outhouse toilet and was TRAPPED for almost a month!

 

by fzh
11-13-04
It's election night hear on Channel 2 News.
Let's show the map of electoral votes.
In a womb somewhere...
Oh thank god, it was just a dream.

 

by fzh
11-18-04
I fucked your mom!
No shit, Sherlock, you're my dad.
Shut your god-damned trap you little cunt.

 

by fzh
11-19-04
Today is transgender remembrance day.
Transgender remembrance day? what's that?
It's a day to reflect on all the transgender people who have been violently murdered.
Oh, OK.
Like, rember that freak we stabbed behind the Pizza Hut?
Good times, good times.

 

by fzh
12-01-04
Dum dee dum dee dum.
Doo doo doo.
NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! My plans for the next few months are RUINED!

 

by fzh
12-06-04
I'm just a happy squirrel enjoying my life. Why hello there mister pleased to meet you.
PUNT!
OH NOOOOOOO!
Remember kids, squirrel football is WRONG!

 

by fzh
12-08-04
blah blah blah blah Glucocordicoids.
blah blah blah blah blah blah oncoproteins.
blah blah blah Phosphofructokinase.
It's almost like he's trying to communicate with me.

 

by fzh
12-13-04
How do the Christmas decorations look?
I'm the wrong guy to ask, Maura! I hate Christmas.
But how can you say that, Pete?
It all started when I was a kid...
My dog is dead?

 

by fzh
12-21-04
Hi Kids! I'm Frosty! Thaks for bringing me to life!
Wow! A living snowman!
Now what?
How 'bout a little "Thumpity thump thump look at Frosty go!"
Don't get me started, I'll melt.

 

by fzh
12-21-04
I see you when you're sleeping
I know when you're awake
You're my idol.

 

by fzh
1-02-05
I like my new appartment, but there's a leak in the roof and I can hear water running upstairs.
No one has lived upstairs for years.
Oh my god, the water is stalking me!
DARK WATER: Coming to theaters soon!
GO AWAY WATER!

 

by fzh
1-17-05
I got rid of Saddam Hussein for you.
YAY!
Now I'm going to rebuild your country so that my friends get all your oil money.
BOO!
Stop being such a hypocrite.

 

by fzh
1-19-05
OH GOD! I'M GOING TO FAIL THE FUCK OUT OF MY BIO FINAL!
Halt! I am the god of AP Bio!
Are you here to provide me salvation? Thank you!
Actually, I am here to butt rape you, now bend over and take it, bitch.

 

by fzh
1-19-05
Okay class, 30 minutes for the essay.
Write a journal entry in plain form on one of these topics.
A. you are a tourguide where do you take the tourists? B: You are a tourist, where do you go?
Later...
OK, essay over.
Because the polar bear stole my passport, I have to live with a penguin.

 

by fzh
1-21-05
One day at the chocobo ranch...
So I says, "Well, them Moogles ain't gonna generate EXP by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by fzh
1-24-05
This is your brain *shows egg*
And this is your brain on drugs *cracks egg and puts it in frying pan*
Eggs are better fried! Why the hell would you eat a raw egg?

 

by fzh
1-26-05
So, how do you like your food?
Nothing is better than your cooking.
Aww. That's soo sweet.
No. I don't mean "there isn't anything better" I mean "I would rather eat nothing at all"

 

by fzh
1-28-05
badabababa! I'm lovin' it!
Wait just a second! I must demand that you explain what "it" is that you are loving! Is it the establishment of McDonalds? The food? Or is it just a random pronoun used to subdue your inteligence?
So tell me, what is it that you're loving?
Your mom.

 

by fzh
1-30-05
I like Will and Grace and Queer Eye! I have to because I'm gay!
You know, those shows just reinforce stereotypes against homosexuals.
You're hot, let's make out!

 

by fzh
2-01-05
I'm going to kick you in the nuts!
Hold it right there! I'm ABC's Super Nanny and I will stop these unruly children.
You're not a super nanny, you're not even a sub-par nanny. You're a parenting counselor and you don't actually do anything to rear, disipline or even watch the children. And as for those brats...
I told you so!

 

by fzh
2-03-05
REPUBLICANS SUCK!!
Y'KNOW WHAT? NUH UH!! DEMOCRATS RULE!!
ISOLTOLA ISOTOLA I WANT CHEESE AND NOT STRAMBOHLA!!
I HOPE THE LORD GIVES MERCY ON YOUR SOUL FOR YOUR ILL CREDENTIALS!!
NASA WAS THE CAUSE OF CHEESE AND LYLE HUMPERDINKLE!!
CUNTS!

 

by fzh
2-05-05
I hate not_Scyess.

 

by fzh
2-08-05
I don't think I'll get into Davis with my first semester grades. It's the best college I applied to.
You're writing a novel? That's cool! Wouldn't it suck if you had to go to UC Davis?
Naw, I could live with that.
*sob*

 

by fzh
2-10-05
So I says, "Well, them feminazis ain't gonna generate sandwitchs by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
and that's why I need someplace to stay.

 

by fzh
2-10-05
So I says, "Well, them feminazis ain't gonna generate sandwiches by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
and that's why I need someplace to stay.

 

by fzh
2-14-05
Today is Valentine's Day. Singles everywhere are stressing and spreading hate for the greeting card industry.
"But why aren't you stressing?" you ask, "aren't you single?" Indeed I am, but here's my secret...
discount candy tomorrow. Who needs love when you've got chocolate?

 

by fzh
3-01-05
At 1:00 we'll hold a contest to see who's Darth Vader costume is the best, and at 2:00 we're burning ewok stuffed animals in a giant bonfire.
I love ewoks! They're my favorite part of the Star Wars universe!
hold on just a second.
Why are you looking at me like that? What are you doing with those sticks painted like lightsabers? Those things look pretty sharp...

 

by fzh
3-10-05
How could something like this happen?
Sir! The witness is ready to speak.
Tell us exactly what happened ma’am.
Well...

 

by fzh
3-24-05
How could something like this happen?
Sir! The witness is ready to speak.
Tell us exactly what happened ma’am.
Well...
You just said "How could something like this happen?" to yourself, then the pther cop came up to you and said "Sir! The witness is ready to speak." and then...

 

by fzh
4-12-05

 

by fzh
4-19-05
How do you feel about the death penalty.
I support it.
Why is that?
Because without the death penalty, Jesus would never have died for our sins.

Showing page 8.

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