All comics by BobRogers

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by BobRogers
11-11-05
In another part of the park...
Hunting Ducks...
eh?
Hunting Ducks!
Bye.
Hunting Fwowers.

 

by BobRogers
11-13-05
Just another day in Pleasant Valley...
Hunting Fwowers
Going to the movies.

 

by BobRogers
11-13-05
The word of the day is ebullient
?
ebullient \ih-BUL-yuhnt\, adjective:1. Overflowing with enthusiasm or excitement; high-spirited. 2. Boiling up or over.
I feel ebullient about kicking your overeducated ass.
"ebullient" this, wise guy!
Now what?

 

by BobRogers
11-16-05
What's up Doc?
I am looking for Dave, have you seen him?
Over on the other side of the park. he just came by screaming obscenities. What's happening?
He just needs a little booster shot. Nothing to be concerned about.
You better back up. I have feces and know how to throw it...
Now Dave. Take it easy. I just need to stick this in your ass. It won't hurt a bit...

 

by BobRogers
11-17-05
In a hallway in the back of the PLVY Mall, a meeting takes place...
Who are you again? My memory is a lttle fuzzy from having been a bat.
I'm the witch you ordered in October from Acme Rent A Character .com
i remember now. You were going to cast a spell that would grant him prosperity, self confidence and serious love interest...
You got it, bucko!
There's been a small change of plans.
Do tell me more.

 

by BobRogers
11-17-05
So let me get this straight. You still want me to cast a spell, but now you want the results to be different?
No. The results will be the same, but HE will have control of the final outcome.
Bu jung n fvyyl tbbfr vf Qnir, ab ybatre harzcyblrq sebz penqyr gb tenir. Zpqbanyqf jvyy fbba or pnyyvat uvf anzr gb bssre n wbo naq tvir uvz snzr.
Wow cool. I understood that as if I spoke the language.
Ok. that was the first of the three. Call me when you are ready for the second spell. I will be at my grandmother's in Miami Beach.

 

by BobRogers
11-18-05
At the PLVY Micky D's...
Welcome to McDonald's. Can I get you an Egg McMuffin Meal?
Wow, Dave. UNBELIEVABLE! You have a job at McDonald's?
I was having this really weird dream where somebody gave me a job and then this voice said "Get back to work." I woke up here
That's amazing. You swore you would never work for McDonalds
Prove it.
Dude. Just get me my Egg McMuffin and a coke. I can handle the rest.

 

by BobRogers
11-19-05
So... Dave hates your guts? And how is that an unusual thing?
It's annoying more than anything else. I got a witch to conjure him this GREAT job at McDonald's and already he's blowing it...
Hey A##hole! You want a bananna with that Big Mac?
We know where the thermometer's going next time I take YOUR temperature, Dave!
Misses his radio programs eh?
Betcherbippy.

 

by BobRogers
11-20-05
Meanwhile, at McDonald's...
...so my supervisor says, "Them Egg McMuffins ain't going to poach all by themselves!"
Somebody WEALLY needed to do that.

 

by BobRogers
11-21-05
A little snow on the park doesn't faze Dave...
Why have you summoned me, The Grim Reaper, here Dave?
I want you to take Eric to Hell.
Eric? You mean your brother? I can't take Eric to hell. He's not dead yet. Besides, smoking pot and torturing you isn't a sin.
Nooooooooo. Not My Brother. ERIC. You know, Bob or whatever his name actually is.
That is incredibly Obtuse Dave. See you... Maybe sooner than you think with that weak aorta of yours. You're gonna blow a blood vessel.
Go on! Get outta here, YA HEAR? You're probably GAY anyhow under that stupid robe!

 

by BobRogers
11-22-05
Winter comes to Pleasant Valley
Oh gather, ye gossimer flakes of white, dance lightly as the wind doth blow...
The last of Autumn's leaves have turned, red yellow, brown buried 'neath the snow...
*quack*
Everyone's a critic.

 

by BobRogers
11-23-05
It's a blustery day in the neighborhood...
You know, Dave swears you are not in a wheelchair.
Yeah, it's weird. He said he saw a picture of me in a Poughkeepsie newspaper and spent a week calling me Eric.
I can't believe you know how to spell Poughkeepsie. Say... neat trick.
I don't need no stinking wheelchair. Oops.....
Dude. You're gonna get wet in the slush there.
I can stand up by myself for about 30 seconds before I fall down.

 

by BobRogers
11-24-05
Blogging brings out the writer in everyone.
Dear Blog... Holidays suck. I hate being with family. I much prefer being alone...
Dear Blog... Dave is treating me courteously and I don't know why. I caught cold from falling in the snow and getting wet. I ate lots of turkey and watched someone play Half Life...
Dear Bloggers... Could you guys please write about something that doesn't make me sleepy...

 

by BobRogers
11-25-05
World events catch up to Pleasant Valley..
Mr. Myagi died.
who?
"Wax on-wax off" you know, from Karate Kid.
That is sad. I really liked those movies
Totally me too.

 

by BobRogers
11-26-05
A close encounter of the Dave kind.
Dave, why are you wearing a spacesuit?
So that *snip* doesn't get on me when I fling it.
Wouldn't it be simpler to just stop thowing *snip*?
I love the sound it makes when it splatters.
But you hate the whole Psycho monkey thing. If you just stopped behaving badly people would't be in your face.
You do know I hate you, right?

 

by BobRogers
11-26-05
Now the sun is sinking low...Children playin' know it's time to go
Death comes in a blinding flash Of hellish heat and leaves a smear of ash
All that is left of Pleasant Valley is destroyed buildings & the remains of a twisted wheelchair. No signs of life can be found. It is as though the cartoonist lost his sense of humor. They all died.

 

by BobRogers
11-27-05
In the beginning there were three panels of darkness
Now THIS is some dark you can whistle in.
Wow the whole place is gone, right down to the last grain of sand. Nobody told me anything. Bob just blew the place to hell.
Why did he do that?
I guess he was so disgusted with Dave that he decided to throw in the towel and nuke the whole bloody valley. He gets in moods sometimes. Who are you?
I'm the temporary cartoonist taking Bob's place while he sorts out what he wants to do. Just call me God. Let There Be LIGHT!
Stupid cheap Panasonic batteries.

 

by BobRogers
11-27-05
This is embarassing. Let there be LIGHT!
No biggie. It happens once in a while. Bob threw a lot of radioactivity into this place.
Whoa! Delayed reaction! Light OVERKILL!
Wow. Could you make it brighter?
OK. That's better.
You're God? I thought you'd be taller

 

by BobRogers
11-29-05
GOD has been comissioned to personally revamp the recently destroyed Pleasant Valley in order to create Loretta's World...
Ok. Since there is pretty much nothing here at all, my first job will be to re-rez everything Bob nuked.
Let there be Dialog!
Let there be CHARACTERS!
Let there be BACKGROUND!
OK. Not EXACTLY what I was thinking, but certainly always a good entrance.

 

by BobRogers
11-30-05
God completes the rebuild...
Ok then. I have recreated the entire Tooniverse, repopulated it with characters and enabled dialog. It's ready for you to take over again. I just have some papers for you to sign...
You'll be glad you picked up the 500 strip extended warranty on this one. I will be poviding limited tech support from my summer place beyond infinity. Oh. And house calls are billed by the panel.
That's about it, Bob. Here are the keys to Loretta's World. On behalf of the Heavenly Hosts, let me just say... Lay off the NUKES, Son. It make's a MESS!

 

by BobRogers
11-30-05
So you're here on this airless moon for the auditions for Loretta's World?
Yeah. I really don't need the spacesuit, but I figured what the hell, when in space...
What are you doing here? I thought you weren't going to be in this strip.
Bob owed my agent a favor.
What the..?
Got a certified letter here for Dave. You want to sign?

 

by BobRogers
11-30-05
Time is rolling forward on Loretta's World
Dude. I am not Dave.
So where is Dave?
I think Dave went up with the Nuke. Rest in peace dave.
He can't be DEAD! I have a letter for him DAMMIT!
I will send someone to look for him. Wait right over there.
Be quick about it. The mail can't wait.

 

by BobRogers
12-01-05
I am Dave's personal assistant. I can sign for his letter. I will make sure he gets it. He is stuck in the last panel of the old toon
Just sign here and I will have done my duty at $45 an hour.
To Dave. You might want to get out of town as I am planning on exploding a 160 megaton BOMB on Pleasant Valley.
This could result in injury or death. Um... Dude... This is dated last week.

 

by BobRogers
12-02-05
Always something different in Loretta's World
To boldly go where no man has...
Wrong cartoon. It's two more over an one to the right.

 

by BobRogers
12-02-05
What the...?
Dude. What was that?
Parachute failed.
This is a small planet in the Andromeda galaxy. No atmosphere.
That would have been good to know five minutes ago.

 

by BobRogers
12-02-05
So.. you one of those Star Trek guys?
Nah. I just like Extreme Sports. Are we really in the Andromeda Galaxy?
Nah. I was just yanking your chain. God hasn't added a background with an atmosphere yet.
God? Where is your regular cartoonist?
Bob's been experimenting with Digital Audio. So he's been doing quickies.
So GRAVITY he makes time for but NOT atmosphere? I should talk to my lawyer. This is NEGLECT, I tell ya!

 

by BobRogers
12-04-05
Dude, it's been a week now and we still have only one background. Don't you think people are going to get bored?
Well, you know I have been spending a lot of time on this new thing, BLOGcasting.
Dude...
Yep. You're right. I'll check FedEx Tracking and see where the new backgrounds are now.

 

by BobRogers
12-06-05
meanwhile, in the old defunct toon...
I am stuck in this place with no one to talk to. just this stupid no dial tone telephone. Who am I supposed to call anyhow?
Ring. Ring.
Hello?
Is this the man of the house? I'm calling from Las Vegas. YOU MAY ALREADY HAVE WON A FORD EXPEDITION!
This is Double Spy Punch, Right? You can't fool me. I know where Nova Scotia is...
Just send $5000 for the taxes and we will ups your car to you OVERNIGHT!

 

by BobRogers
12-06-05
How long are you going to leave Dave in that other cartoon strip? He will get lonely over there with no Internet.
The new backgrounds came in. The new cast is here. i just have to come up with some funny ideas.
Are you even listening to me, Bob?
You are right, Sister Mary. I have been recalcitrant . I know my duty though.
I seem to remember having been here before. I seem to remember having been a duck too. Or was that somebody else?
Yorgie Borgie Recipe for der Svdish Duck in oranges sauce

 

by BobRogers
12-08-05
Somewhere in the southern ocean of Loretta's World
You can't cook me, Mr. Chef. I'm not a duck, I'm a Dave.
I yam sure that the recipe calls for a duck and not a Dave.
Ok, wise guy. I've been on this island before and I kow the score. So go back and tell the bald guy to keep typing them numbers or the place is gonna blow up.
Roast duck..Duck salad sand -wiches... Duck Surprise...
Listen pal. Surprise this! I am NOT a duck. I am a 5'7" JDPLVY with an attitude. If you don't bug outta here right now, I am going to have Swedish Chef in pineapple sauce for dinner.

 

by BobRogers
12-09-05
After the snowstorm...
I loved snow when I was a kid but now, not so much. I need to move to a sunnier climate.
I know just what you mean sister. We dinosaurs had a cool gig going until the ice age screwed it all up.
If only I could just get warm. I think I could take anything else.
Listen sistah. Bein' warm ain't everthing, youse know? Try showin up at da union hall in a warm pink bunny suit.
Is it just me, or are there a lot of strange characters out and about after the blizzard?
Care for a cup of cocoa, Sister?

 

by BobRogers
12-10-05
Gas prices just jumped 30 cents a gallon!
What do you care? You're a duck on an island with no cars, boats, planes or snowblowers!
Well hey! Wait a minute. What's a nurse doing here?
Time for your shot, duckie. Bend over!
Outta HERE!
Stupid DUCK! I am not going to chase you all over this island.

 

by BobRogers
12-11-05
Hello Sister Mary. Are you enjoying the snow?
*sigh* I like summer better.
Want me to speak with Bob about it?
Sure. *sniffle* The cold is not much fun.
?
Wow. That's a lot faster than Aloha Airlines.

 

by BobRogers
12-13-05
Mistess Caitlin arrives on The Island
It's getting pretty crowded here.
Listen DUCK! You will not give me lip.You will listen to me whenever I speak and say, "Yes, Mistress."
Ya, right, I'm really gonna...
Um. Yes, Mistress.
I thought you'd be seeing things my way.

 

by BobRogers
12-13-05
Meanwhile in the snow drifted park...
Yo! Bob!
Where is everybody?
I'll give you a hint. Swaying palm trees, balmy breezes, unattached women...
A Bingo Club in Miami Beach?
Not gonna dignify with a reply
Second guess... The Island?

 

by BobRogers
12-13-05
This island is SO not big enough...
The duck is mine Byach!
Cat fights soooo make me horny...

 

by BobRogers
12-14-05
Well you blew off the nurse so I am here to give you your shot.
Dont just stand there Nurse! GET HIM!
Here I come!
Now what?

 

by BobRogers
12-17-05
I TELL YA, I don't NEED no Doctor. I don't need no SHOT. And I am kicking your ass for trying to give me one.
Stupid DUCK! you need the shot to become Dave again. It's a polymorphic variation on ASPIRIN! Fighting ain't going to get any gravitons generated.
OW. Ya STUCK ME! You rotton Doctor. Now WTF were you talking about?
It's real simple, laughing boy. Bob rearranges your gravitons every time he changes your avatar. To get changed back you need to generate new ones.
And you're thinking you just explained it?
See any DUCKS? That will be $695. Cash, no checks.

 

by BobRogers
12-18-05
Who are you?
I am an Amish cocaine dealer assigned to the "Comic Relief Extras" department. And I have a question. Who is Loretta and why is this "her" world?"
An AMISH Cocaine Dealer? Someone is pulling my leg, right?
Um, no. Says right here on the casting call sheet - Amish Cocaine Dealer. Ask Wardrobe. They gave me the hat.
Brand new world. Completely new characters. A chance to erase all the mistakes of the past - and I'm in a strip with an Amish Cocaine Dealer? That's just RUDE.
I can come back later. I gotta go to work anyhow. They're calling for me over in Strip 22.

 

by BobRogers
12-19-05
Christmas comes to The Island...
Ho, Ho Ho! Merry Christmas, Loretta
My name is NOT Loretta, you fat fraud! My name is Dave. My name is D.A.V. E - Dave! Do YA GOT IT?
Not Loretta?
Not EVEN Loretta!
Because it says in my notes that LORETTA gets a free christmas wish.
Well, WHY didn't you say so? Do you spell that with a Capitol "L?"

 

by BobRogers
12-19-05
Ok, Loretta. Now that we have the whole identity thing settled, what is your Christmas wish?
Well, I'll tell ya... Pssst Pssst buzzz buzz, and rubble rubble...
Goodbye snow!
Hello wheels in deep sand!
Well, I have granted your wish. You are back in PLVY, completely restored. Just like it was before Bob Nuked it. Doesn't this make you happy?
This place sucks. Change it all. I hate my life. You don't exist! $#%@$#%&^

 

by BobRogers
12-21-05
Stupid dog. Everybody thinks I dognapped you.
Stupid Bob. Write one ransom note and right away the FBI thinks you dognap dogs.
Merry Christmas From Bob and the Staff and Cast At Loretta's World
Hey! you interrupted my big scene! HEY! this is about me, Dave! heyyyyyy!

 

by BobRogers
12-27-05
Dave enjoys Christmas in the park...
This place is pretty quiet right now, what with Gargoyle gone and Bob too.
Park's kinda empty though. Nobody here. And that's just the way I like it. I don't need no stinking people.
Shut up. You're on my *snip* list too, you bushy tailed rat.
???

 

by BobRogers
12-28-05
Suddenly and I might add inexplicibly...
Hey! Wait just a *snip*ing minute here. I wished you out to that stupid island. YOU CAN'T be here!
You have obviously forgotton who's in charge byach.
But I WISHED it, my precious... @%$#^%! OMG! Why am I talking like this? Why am I ORANGE?
Why do I completely OWN you? Because Loretta, you give me the POWER to OWN YOU! Muahahaha!
I think I'm gonna hurl....
TOBOR love Christmas Surprrise! Thanks Bob! Bend Over Loretta. This gonna hurt...

 

by BobRogers
12-30-05
On The Island, Sister Mary considers a conundrum...
I really want a new pet for 2006. I need a new pet. Having Dave for a pet caused me nothing but grief in 2005.
My new pet needs to be cuddly and intelligent and sane.
I am all those things and more.
My new pet should not remind me I skipped breakfast...

 

by BobRogers
12-31-05
Dave sleeps, perchance to dream...
I am your wildest fantasy Dave!
Be my Diva, Baby! I want you to WRESTLE for me!
I can do thngs you never dreamed of...
I can dream of a lot. Call me on the phone and talk dirty to me...
RING RING! ............. You may have ALREADY WON...
%$#&^%$ %$#$@ *Snip* damn telemarketers woke me up again!

 

by BobRogers
1-01-06
Ever since UPS delivered me you haven't said a word to me. Plants like conversation, you know.
The return address on the box you came in said "Bob." I HATE Bob and therefore, by extension, hate you.
Listen Seymour. I don't get to choose who buys me or gives me away for that matter. But if you don't feed me and love me, you will wish you had, I promise you.
You aren't real. You're just a filament of my imagination. And my name is NOT Seymour.
Filament this, Seymour!
Ow..

 

by BobRogers
1-03-06
I cant believe I ate the whole thing.
What have you done? Where is Dave? he can't be hanging around here. He has an appointment with the Doc.
Worst meal I ever had.
Wait a minute. Don't tell me that you ate Dave. Big mistake. Way big mistake.
I'm gonna blow chunks
Wheels, get rolling!

 

by BobRogers
1-03-06
Bleccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hack. Hack.
I been regurgitated and I'm covered with plant slime.
I will kill you Bob and your little plant too!

 

by BobRogers
1-03-06
You know If it would be all the same to everyone, I'd as soon be in Poughkeepsie
How do you spell that?

Showing page 9.

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