All comics by Lord_Vodek

Profile

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-02-10
I love watching little girls dance it always makes my dick spring up

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-03-10
I proposed to my girlfriend today
What did she say?
She said no...
Well do you know why?
Something about the ring I bought her being from a 25 cent vending machine
And you call me stupid

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-09-10
I don't know what to get my mom for mothers day
Well What does she like?
Troughs and Stys
What is she? Some kind of pig?
You take that back you jerk she's the most beautiful swine ever!

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-09-10
Five more minutes Grandma
But Lord_Vodek you said we'd be here for only five minutes then you'd take me to red lobster
Five more minutes Grandma
It's been five hours
Five more minutes Grandma
I hate that little bastard

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-09-10
Hey son
Hey mom
You know you're alot like your father
Ah thanks mom
I hate your father
I love you too mom

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-09-10
What should I do?
About?
My girl man!
I think that you should shut the fuck up about her already no one wants to hear about it.
I heard you got shot down by that cheerleader the other day
You want to talk about your girl problems?

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-10-10
Knock Knock
Hello I'm from the girls scouts and I'm sell-
I don't want any cookies. I'm diabetic
I am not selling cookies bitch. Girls Scout have been making porn magazine for the last five years not cookies
I'll take a 10 year subscription

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-11-10
Spare change?
Sorry I don't have any spare change but I do have a free lollipop for you
Oh! And I almost forgot the BEST part...
I'll take whatever you'll give me
Good I have a ton of phallus's here that I've been dying to get rid of

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-11-10
Hey does this pill taste like a roofie?
Does this rag smell like Chloroform?
Nice legs what time do they open?

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-12-10
You see all this paper work son?
Yes. I feel sorry for the poor sap who has to do this.
You have to do this.
Ummm...No?
Yes you have to and if you don't spring into action in the next few minutes I'm firing your ass and sending you straight to the unemployment line
Son of a bitch. I can't wait for you to die so I can take over your company

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-14-10
I've got bad news Tobor
Give it to me straight doc
Well the results from the test are in
And?
You have a trojan.
I should have never clicked that link!

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-14-10
They said the cookies were free
That was the most horrible parent teacher conference we've ever had
I know...I understand that you are pissed at me.
Why did you do that?
I'm not getting any tonight am I?
damn right you're not getting any

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-16-10
Shouldn't you have pants on?
Not in my own library
Umm sir are you aware this is a public library not your personal library
I beg to differ.
Really? Why is that?
Because I'm Bill Gates and I bought this library four hours ago

 

Fuck
Why did you just drop the "F" bomb?
by Lord_Vodek, 5-16-10

 

Any idea who could have done this?
Not a clue
by Lord_Vodek, 5-16-10

 

You dick
That was not what my iPhone said would happen
by Lord_Vodek, 5-16-10

 

Nice to meet you too
by Lord_Vodek, 5-16-10

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-16-10
Can I help you?
Yes I'd like to tell you about my exciting new
Ok. What is it?
Well I ummm
Yes?
It's my big shiny BlackMans(tm) Passover penis!

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-20-10
I heard about what you did after you brutally slaughtered that little girl
Oh you did?
Yes
I heard you went to China Town and saved all the cats in the kitchen
Well someone had to save the kittens!

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-20-10
Dude I totally made a new tv show for us
Really? What do you call it?
I call it earth
That's hilarious I heard there was a fucked up planet named earth
There was...So I put cameras on earth
This is genius!

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-22-10
All religion is crap
That's true
Except of course christianity

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-22-10
In the begginging there was just two Adam and Eve it has to be true
Then god said to Adam don't eat any fruit from this forbidden tree. And Adam said to god yo I got you big G
Then the snake came up to Eve because everyone knows women are easy to deceive

 

So this is how Three Doors Down dies....
I'm going down in flames
by Lord_Vodek, 5-25-10

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-25-10
Knock Knock
I know you are in there! I can hear you breathing
For now...

 

by Lord_Vodek
5-26-10
And the winner of RCD # 35 is...Lord_vodek by default
Thank you ZManZilla
Your ummm...welcome...I had no choice
I'd like to thank all the members of stripcreator I couldn't have done it without any of you...
...not having entered this contest

 

I'm fining you for litering
by Lord_Vodek, 5-31-10

 

Wtf happened to you Pac-Man?
by Lord_Vodek, 6-20-10

 

by Lord_Vodek
6-20-10
Well get to work
I am going to fucking kill Bill
What?
Where can I get a really nice sword?
So I hear you want to kill Bill
I should just get a gun...

 

by Lord_Vodek
6-25-10
Have you finished that Billings report Gabe?
Well not exactly Elroy
You need to get on it Gabe
Ok jack ass
What was that?
I caught some killer bass

 

by Lord_Vodek
7-13-10
Jesus...I should really lay off the beans...

 

by Lord_Vodek
7-14-10
Oh baby...
This is so romantic...
Not again!
God Damn It

 

by Lord_Vodek
7-15-10
Have you seen the latest Victoria's Secrets catalogue?
You still jack off to that kiddy porn?
No. I order from it why?
That's it. Your man-card has been revoked. You can hand in your penis to the bouncer on your way out.
You Bitch.

 

by Lord_Vodek
7-29-10
Dude why'd you stop making comics
Crabby made me cry
By insulting you?
No by sleeping with my mother
I thought you hate your mother
I do...I thought Crabby's standards were higher

 

by Lord_Vodek
7-29-10
Well I don't know
It's not as easy as you think
Fine...

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-09-10
So what's the damage doc?
Well Lord_vodek it seems that you are not funny
It's just as I feared...How do I fix it
The only known cure is death
So people will think my jokes are funny after I die?
No people will think it is funny that you are dead

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-09-10
Why did you donate to stripcreator?
So I can have the same privilages as the greats
There's only one problem with that
What's that?
You're not one of the greats

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-09-10
The ranger mercilously stalks his prey
One slip up and it's all over...Now I must go in for the kill
Can I touch your tits?

 

And now! Our special guest speaker the one the only Dracula!
Thank you preacher Dan. Let's get this creature feature on the road
by Lord_Vodek, 8-09-10

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-10-10
You're party is confronted by zombies what do you do?
I use my amulet of reconstruction
That item is useless
I want to use the amulet of reconstruction!
Ok Fine! You use the amulet of reconstruction and it heals you 5 hp which doesn't matter anyway because you were already at full health
Hooray!

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-10-10
Alright Gandalf what does your copyrighting ass do?
I want to cast Magic Missle...
Finally someone is using his head!
...On the darkness
This is why I never DM for you guys
I rolled two threes!

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-10-10
Ok So the wizard and ranger have wasted their turns what do you want to do with your rogue Reggie?
I want to hide
You cowardly faggot
Ok your roll of 18 was successful you are now hidden from the zombies what next?
I want to steal a zombies pants
I fucking hate you guys
I rolled a natural twenty!

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-10-10
Alright Eric what is your knight going to do?
I'm going to charge into the zombies and destroy them mercilessly
You charge out to the zombies and discover that your weapon has no affect on the zombies
Shit I switch to my morningstar
As you draw your morningstar you are eaten before you can attack with it
Now who's being a dick?

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-15-10
Hey what's up?
I'm dating the girl of my dreams
Oh yeah how's that going?
Crappy
Why crappy you just said she was the girl of your dreams
Exactly I only see her when I'm asleep

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-17-10
You have arrived at the dark castle of Artodas the last known location of the missing king
I don't want to go in there
yeah it might be dangerous
The king dies in two days and you don't get tons of gold if you don't go in
I can always just be a bounty hunter making a living that way
And I can just magically make the people elect me as the new king and have more gold
You guys are pricks
I'm going back to town to find out who my next bounty hunting target is
I'm going back to town and announcing the kings death and getting myself appointed new king

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-17-10
Gandalf has just been declared the new ruler of the kingdom and the Ranger is his primary enforcer hunting enemies of the state you guys are approached by a member of the newly founded resistance
I challenge him to announce himself
I pick his pocket
He declares his name is Draxel former vassal of the king. Your roll of three fails and he catches you picking his pocket. Draxel asks you two if you are interested in a highly dangerous mission
Sure I am always up for a good battle
Sure I always hide and let him get hit and get the rewards anyway
Draxel instructs you to go to the castle not far from the village and rescue the king he will help you in the end
I'm glad that scrape with the undead gave me a level this sounds tough
Fat lot of good that's going to do us

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-18-10
You have arrived at the castle and now you have to decide how to get in
I want to open the front door!
That's a big castle
The front door is locked you'll have to find another way in and yes that is a big castle
Let's try the back door!
That's a big castle
The back door is also locked find another way in and reggie shut the hell up
Let's try the sewers!
That's a big castle

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-20-10
Peace love and happiness man
You're a fucking idiot
Why man for standing up to the man and not laying down for the tyranny of government?
No because you started a peace rally on a site that's being bombed

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-20-10
Brad Pitt?
Ummm Yes?
This job has sucked ever since they added the quota system I liked him

 

by Lord_Vodek
8-20-10
Ummm Who are they?
Oh them?
Don't say a word!
Tell him everything!
Just my advisors

 

Why So Serious?
by Lord_Vodek, 8-20-10

Showing page 9.

« Previous Next »