All comics by boloboffin

Profile

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Mr. Romney, Mr. Giuliani, we have a lot more questions...
You employed illegals! ------------------------ Did not!!!!
Will you pledge right now to veto any bill that grants amnesty to illegals!!
Well, I'm Fred Thompson, and I'll be glad to. And Rudy did have a sanctuary city.
Bitch, don't think I won't slap you back to Law and Order as well.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
The next question is for Tom Tancredo.
Everybody trying to out-Tancredo Tancredo, I love it!
We're just trying to get people to do some hard jobs, and no one's applying.
What will you do to help get guest workers into the country?
WHAT THE FUCK??? I'M TOM TANCREDO, FUCK THEM OUTSIDE WORKERS!
I'm Duncan Hunter, and I'd top any wall Tancredo built by 20 feet!!!!!!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
And Mike Huckabee!
Why'd you give scholarships to illegals?
Well, people need education...
By the golden plates of Mormon, you're spending taxpayer money on illegals! They're getting benefits!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Ron Paul...
Your followers believe in the North American Union! Are you a crazy conspiracy theorist, too?
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't trying to form a world government.
My hair looks perfect in these lights.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
What will you do to tackle the national debt?
I'm going to get out Ronald Reagan's pen.
Hell, yes. Ronald Reagan wouldn't have funded them illegals.
RONALD REAGAN! ACROSS THE BOARD!!!
And they flew them planes into the buildings...

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
What top three programs would you cut to reduce spending?
Well, Social Security should be reformed...
SOCIAL SECURITY????
And Washington never changed me. Ronald Reagan wanted to cut the Education...
Ronald Reagan was last question, asshole. IRS FTW!!!!!!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Would you get rid of the income tax and replace it with a sales tax?
NO. And Ron Paul is a big isolationalist weenie.
I get money from military people.
We're going to get to Iraq later but first Grover Norquist!
Oh, Jesus...

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
I'm Grover Norquist. Will you promise me your very soul?
Yes!
Uh, yeah, yeah, Grover.
If I get to give it to the American People first...
What he said.
Absolutely. American people.

 

Hey, Mayor Giuliani, what about those records of security people being charged to other organizations?
They messed it up, not me.
by boloboffin, 11-28-07

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
What up with lead paint in the toys?
GODDAM CHINA! BOMB THEM! BOMB THEM!
HELL, YEAH!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
As we go to break, Fred Thompson's campaign ad.
Roll it.
AYYYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!!!
AYYYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!!!
Holy Fucking Christ.
What?

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
You gonna try to take away my gun?
Um, be careful with that...

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Why'd you make people pass an exam to have a gun?
Well, there can be reasonable tests on that...
BOOOOOOO!!!
There wasn't a law against guns that Guiliani didn't use on Judith Nathan...
HIYOOOOOO!!!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Tell me about your guns...
I used enough guns in Vietnam.
Ah, shit, spoil it for the rest of us.
COLD, DEAD FINGERS!
I want you to guess where my gun is, teehee!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
There's a war outside in our streets.
What are you going to do about black-on-black crime?
I plan to take your guns away.
Hey, I'm starting to like this guy.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
If Roe v. Wade was overturned, and you got a bill criminalizing abortion, would you sign it?
No. It's a state decision.
HELL, YES!
Jeez, why don't I get the softball questions?
It's a conspiracy.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
The death penalty: What would Jesus do?
Jesus didn't run for public office.
EXCELLENT DODGE! YAY!!!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Do you believe every word of THIS book, the Holy Bible, King James Version?
Some parts are allegorical, but I believe in it.
Um, Yeah! I try to live by it (and that other book)
I believe the Bible straight up and down. I AM the preacher man. Praise Jesus!
And then the Trilateral Commission...

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
How would you repair the image of America in the eyes of Muslims?
Well, keep bombing the shit out of their countries, for one.
HELL, YEAH!
The surge is working!!! Those Democrats are trying to surrender!
JESUS CHRIST, HAVEN'T WE DONE ENOUGH FOR THESE DAMN PEOPLE??

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
How can you disagree with McCain on waterboarding being torture?
Well, why don't you just give the country to the terrorists and their ACLU lawyers?
It's in violation of the Geneva convention. We are not going to do what Pol Pot did. How in the world??
I'm not in favor in torture. We passed a law, and waterboarding is not torture.
Buddy, go fuck yourself.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Will you make a long term commitment to troops in Iraq?
We need to be there as long as we need to be there!
And that's not one minute more!
We didn't lose in Vietman. We did! Those Communists wanted to follow us home, and so do those Muslims!
I FUCK THEM! I FUCK THEM SO HARD!!!!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Why are you using 9/11 to win the White House?
Well, now if you look at my entire record, you'd know why.
The Bush tactic. Very sneaky.
Hey, give me a shot at that question!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
I'm Vice President Cheney. Will you give your Veep the same amount of power as I got?
Hell, no. I want something to do in my adminstration.
Damn straight.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
I'm a decorated retired general and I'm gay. WTF?
You fucking faggot. Christian warriors don't have to put up with that.
Straight to hell.
This is not the time.
You people are fucked.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Would you accept the support of the Log Cabin Republicans?
I need anybody's support that I can get.
He actually said that. I can't write a better punchline than that.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
What about Social Security?
Social Security is fucked, my young man.
RONALD REAGAN!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Why can't we go to Mars?
Well, let's send Hillary first thing.
NATIONAL DEBT! WE CAN'T AFFORD IT YOU FUCKERS!!!!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Why the fuck don't black people vote for you?
You'll start if you know what's good for you.
I got 48% of blacks in Arkansas to vote for me, and I just asked.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Tell me my flag is wrong.
It's wrong.
Now, now, just put that in a drawer where it belongs.

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
All the bridges falling down... who's going to step up and rebuild our infrastructure?
I'm for it if we can put it off the budget...
Sorta Enron-style?
We keep blowing bridges up in other countries!!!
Did you forget your medication?

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Mr. Giuliani, Mr. McCain...
Line item is unconstitutional!
Ron Paul, are you going to run as an independent, I hope I hope I hope?
No, what do you think I am, crazy?
RON PAUL!

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
And how about those Red Sox!
Yes, but I'm a Yankees fan really.
At last! An issue I've never flip-flopped on!
We got so much money, I feel like a member of the Knights Templar.
Well, that wasn't so bad...
WEHN A MAN LOVE'S HIS CUNTRY...

 

by boloboffin
11-28-07
Damn. I managed to do every one of the videos except for one. I rule!
Yeah, but they sucked.
Hunh? Well, maybe, but...
And you've monopolized the front page.
YAAAAAAHHHH!!!
You are dead to me.

 

by boloboffin
11-30-07
Thorn is a man??
Yes! I'm not a lesbian, Ray-Ray. I like guys.
You do?
Well, not every guy. Just that one certain someone who just proposed to me...
Proposed? PROPOSED? Oh, my God, and did you say yes?
Well, of course I did, sweetie. How could I say no to the love of my life?

 

by boloboffin
11-30-07
Oh, praise Jesus! Now about the wedding, promise that you let me give you away.
Of course... Give me away??
To Thorn!
Oh, Ray-Ray! WHAAAAAAAA- WAAAA-HAAAANH!!
Now, don't be like that. I'M AN EX-GAY! I CAN'T BE YOUR MAID OF HONOR!

 

by boloboffin
12-01-07

 

by boloboffin
12-04-07
Puppy!
What?
Is him the cootest wittle puppity ever? Is him wost and aww awone and hungwy? Does him need to come home wid Way-Way and get some supperidy?
Yes, please.
I think I'll name you Wivingstone. Wivingstone, da cootest wittle puppity dog ever!
Well, my master calls me Ollie, but, hey! Free food.

 

by boloboffin
12-04-07
Ahhhhh.
Now Wivingstone is aww fuww and toasty, idn't him?
Yep! Ready to go home now...
Now be a good wittle puppity while Daddy's not he-uh, awwighty?
It's kinda getting hard to follow the Elmer Fudd thing. Uhh, dude?
*slam*

 

by boloboffin
12-04-07
WHAAAAAA-HAAA- HAAAANH! Ray-Ray doesn't love me! He never loved me!
My entire life means nothing now! WHAAAAAH! What will help me make it through the night without his sweet, sweet love?
Vengeance.
Well, there is that.

 

Wheee!
Son, somebody's going to have to clean that up.
by boloboffin, 12-05-07

 

by boloboffin
12-05-07

 

by boloboffin
12-05-07
Remind me never to do the burning bush thing again. That takes a lot out of me...
Hey, Boss, he's coming back!
You know what, Moses? Just break them up into ten however you think it works!!
Ten. Right. Gotcha. Ten.
Yep, migrane's setting in...
Uh, Boss? He dropped them.

 

by boloboffin
12-08-07
Mama, I'm here!
AHHH!!!
Uh-oh...

 

by boloboffin
12-08-07
*trip*
AHHHH!!!
Mama, it's me, Ray-Ray.
Oh, thank goodness. Some crazy man broke into my house again.

 

by boloboffin
12-08-07
Crazy man all gone, Mama.
Thank you, Ray-Ray. You're such a good boy.
Yes, so I was wondering if I could borrow $400?
Oh, my goodness! You've found the right girl and you're going to put down a deposit on an engagement ring?
It's scary how you figure these things out.
I'll go get my purse.

 

by boloboffin
12-10-07
Give me your soul and you shall have your vengeance on Ray-Ray.
But it won't be my vengeance if I'm not the one who's doing it, right?
Absolutely.
Then here's what I'll need. Give me the power to be incredibly beautiful with the biggest boobs imaginable, whenever I want.
We are talking about tempting Ray-Ray, right?
C'mon, you crazy demon, give me big knockers!

 

by boloboffin
12-10-07
Sorry I missed the gig, Stanley.
Sorry?? Sorry?? You fucked up Shreikingrund's breakthrough moment and now you're sorry??
Um, the Lounge only holds forty people tops.
You think you're so smart, huh? Well, I'll have you know one guy ran out to the ATM to buy not one, not two, but twenty CDs!
Twenty? Stanley, tell me you waited until he came back before you burned twenty CDs.
ANOTHER reason you should have had your ass here.

 

by boloboffin
12-10-07
Jeez, this is like the worst night ever. No gig, we'll never get asked back, plus I get stiffed for all these CDs.
Is there anything else that could go wrong?
Hey, Ollie! C'mon, boy, time to go home!

 

by boloboffin
12-10-07
And there it is.
Oh, Jesus!
Ay caramba!
TOBOR NO CAN WATCH!!!
Are they? Are they really gonna?
BEEN THERE, FAP'D THAT

 

by boloboffin
12-13-07
Merry Christmas!
Happy Chanukah!
Damn it, that's the day you damn Jews killed Jesus!
That was Passover, you ignorant Christian fat fuck!
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Well, at least they got that part right.

Showing page 9.

« Previous Next »