All comics by mandingo

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by mandingo
10-11-05
*sniff sniff* oh, it's definitely Costa Rica.
and waffles

 

by mandingo
10-11-05
after much hilarious travelling adventures, all of which are extremely funny, and on the special edition DVD, they arrive at Rufus's grandmother's house...
good day, madam. i was wonde
Balls.
i would, but this is strictly a business call.
Balls. he's thinking 'Balls.' Balls. Get it? Balls.
what are you trying to tell me?
were you dropped as a child?

 

Balls.
by mandingo, 10-11-05

 

by mandingo
10-12-05
LOOK UPON THESE WORKS YE MIGHTY AND DESPAIR!
boy, your husband really gets into his barbequing

 

by mandingo
10-12-05
GLURG!
fucking fuck and fuck! did that thing just climb out of the toilet??
must do its bidding

 

by mandingo
10-12-05
honey, do i look fat in these jeans? you can be honest
yes?

 

by mandingo
10-13-05
i wish my family wasn't dead
they aren't. they just moved and didn't tell you where
they faked their deaths?
at my hands. i'm quite the "faker"
faked many an indigent

 

by mandingo
10-13-05
so what can i do for you today?
my entire family... died... in a car accident
so you need a new car
i need... to pick up... the remnants... of my life... and find a way... not to... kill myself
it's a Mercedes
sold!

 

by mandingo
10-13-05
yeah, i have the cure for AIDS right here
could you go out there and give it to the customer?
sir, are you the one that requested a cure for AIDS?
i sure am

 

by mandingo
10-13-05
sorry, we don't sell fried chicken
i don't want fried chicken
sorry, we don't sell watermelon
i don't want watermelon
sorry, we don't sell menthol cigarettes
know who does?

 

by mandingo
10-14-05
*BAM BAM BAM*
DO WE HAVE ANY SEVERED DICKS BACK HERE???
sorry, i was curing breast cancer. what did you say?
do we have any severed dicks back here?
sorry, sir, i was wrong. we don't have nary a one severed dong
oh god no. and it's whips and chains night too. oh dear Jesus

 

by mandingo
10-14-05
where were we?
i spy with my little eye...
blood
nope!
entrails
you're so good at this game!

 

by mandingo
10-14-05
you sure you don't sell menthols?

 

by mandingo
10-14-05
LOOK UPON THESE WORKS YE MIGHTY AND DESPAIR!
be gentle?

 

by mandingo
10-14-05
over the blank. what do you got, Nipsey?
over the glenns and through the woods, i'll see you if our timing's good. if it ain't, what can we do, kill us a godless heathen jew
Nipsey, we can't air that
then, over the hill
that's what i said!
which one?

 

by mandingo
10-15-05
what up, Al
nodda, Pete. just maxin' and relaxin'. you?
just thrillin' and chillin'
i'm bewarin' and scarin'
i think of you when i masturbate
just bein' a bat and ignorin' that

 

by mandingo
10-15-05
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL KILL HIS CREATOR!
RAAAR!!!! TOBOR WILL SUCK YOU!
omg geh
lewl
ur teh fagg
:(

 

by mandingo
10-15-05
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY MY PEE PEE
MY PEE PEE IS FOR SALE
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BU
SOLD!

 

by mandingo
10-16-05
how's life, Ted?
horrible. awful.
i pray each night for my own death
pass the peas

 

by mandingo
10-17-05
what are you doing?? the fire's over there!
welcome to Mississippi

 

by mandingo
10-17-05
shocking news yesterday as the 21-day rampage by the red robot suddenly ceased. no one knows why, but his pausing has led to mass suicides as people expect the worst
i knew i should have gone with Duracell

 

sorry, no returns.
well, of all the...
by mandingo, 10-17-05

 

by mandingo
10-17-05
heya, Bill. chance running into you here, in this neck of the world domination.
Ted, my boy! what are you doing here?
oh, you know. destroying strategic locations, stomping command structure fleshlings, wreaking havoc.
no, really.
Martha sent me out for milk.
wanna carpool?

 

by mandingo
10-17-05
GLORGLE SPEW! we are approaching Earth, Commander.
excellent! tune in their human broadcasts so we can get a feeling for these "humans"
oh no you din't. girlfriend, you can't be callin a sister fat when your saddlebags so big you flap when you walk! UH HUH!
JERRY! JERRY!
Commander, are you okay?
600 million miles, Johnson. 600 million miles we came.

 

by mandingo
10-17-05
what??
absolutely not!
that is an outrage!
how DARE you!!
i'm sorry, what was the question?

 

by mandingo
10-19-05
SLAM!!!
MISSED ME, BITCH!

 

by mandingo
10-19-05
here's the punt!
it's a good one!
caught at the 10 yard line!
out of the way fuckers!

 

by mandingo
10-20-05
i wouldn't touch TOBOR with a 10-foot pole
YOU'RE IN LUCK!

 

by mandingo
10-20-05
KNOCK KNOCK
i'll get it!
yes?
damn kids!

 

i'm afraid i have some bad news about your wife
little help here
by mandingo, 10-20-05

 
by mandingo, 10-20-05

 

by mandingo
10-20-05
i'm goodtime pink!

 

by mandingo
10-21-05
okay, i know what you're thinking, but it's not that bad
we can make the best of an uncomfortable situation
worst blind date EVER

 

by mandingo
10-21-05
oh, phreaky, what beautiful eyes you have
so much better to look at you, my sweet
oh, phreaky, what beautiful lips you have
so much better to kiss, my sweet
oh, phreaky, what beautiful tits you have
don't even think about it, poker boy

 

by mandingo
10-21-05
out the way, you maggot-infested floating toilet shit
*dink*
lucky poke!
you really shouldn't drink so much

 

by mandingo
10-21-05
i need to clean my bedroom. i have a date tomorrow and no way he'll want to fuck me if he has to wade through a foot of shit
yeah right, like a guy's really gonna turn down fucking you because of dirty laundry
so, you wanna fuck?
and pizza boxes
you wanna fuck?
is that garbage bag moving??

 

by mandingo
10-22-05

 

by mandingo
10-23-05
SUCKY SUCKY 5 DOLLAH!
SUCKY SUCKY 5 DOLLAH!
SUCKY SUCKY 5 DOLLAH!
SUCKY SUCKY 5 DOLLAH!
So come visit Thailand today!
sold!

 

by mandingo
10-23-05
so i asked around and it seems the rumor that Cindy has a crush on Steve is completely unfounded
excuse me a sec.
WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW, STEVE, WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW!
you were saying?

 

by mandingo
10-23-05
umm, Gene? the fire's out.
so you're on ITS side, are you??

 

by mandingo
10-23-05
how are things?
oh, you wouldn't believe it. today i was driving and there was another car next to me and i looked over and it was my old Gym teacher! I rolled down the window and said, "Hi, Mr. Freely!"
but that's when i realized it was just an ugly woman! omg! but that made me late getting to work :( so how was your day?
well, actually, earlier...
great, great. so anyway i get to work and i see Sharon and she's all "Hi, there." the fake phoney thing. well, then...

 

by mandingo
10-24-05
here's your mail, Mr. Vigoda
I'M ABE VIGODA!
i know, sir. you have a COD here for $19.95
ABE VIGODA DOES NOT PARTAKE IN MONETARY SYSTEMS!
says it's for an Orifice Master 3000
check okay?

 

by mandingo
10-25-05
so then i slaughter the pig, decapitate it, slice its chest open, remove its organs, knife the meat into strips, season it with paprika, and cook it in the oven
what?
paprika on ham??

 

by mandingo
10-25-05
4 MORE YEARS! 4 MORE YEARS!
4 MORE YEARS! 4 MORE YEARS!
who the fuck are you?
I'M ABE VIGODA, BITCH!
awkward

 

by mandingo
10-25-05
you must be the babysitter. i've gotta warn you, my 4 kids are a handfull.
i charge $10 a kid
later...
so how'd it go?
well, i have good news and bad news
good news first
you only owe me 20 dollars

 

by mandingo
10-25-05
welcome to the machine
♫ welcome to the machine ♫
no, dumb fuck. i mean the assembly line. you'll be running it all alone, isolated by yourself 10 hours a day.
♫ Desperado... ♫

 

by mandingo
10-25-05
hello, hippy fuck scrum
hi
omg, i just totally bitched you out
yup
DON'T AGREE WITH ME, IT KILLS THE FUN!
sorry

 

by mandingo
10-25-05
that device over there seems to be trying to communicate with me. how exactly do i make first contact? i could interface with it using my tricorder. or perhaps a mindmeld. yes, that seems logical
PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE!

 

by mandingo
10-25-05
what did you have for lunch today?
seven blowjobs.
ah
wait a minute, don't you go to your mom's house for lunch?
NEXT QUESTION!

 

by mandingo
10-25-05
hey DragonXero, how many times have you ever gotten laid?
hey, DragonXero, how many times did you pay for said sex?
hey, DragonXero, how many times did she turn out to be a man?

Showing page 9.

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