All comics by JStrong

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
Okay okay okay... I can do this.
I've killed dozens of people before, no mere squirrel will find my conscience!
I'm going to eat his nuts.
*sigh* I should become a vegan.

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
The worst thing about being the lone survivor of that shipwreck was I forgot to save my porn.
HOW WILL I MASTURBATE NOW???

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
It's difficult for me to get my thoughts just write, so I wrote them down.
Dear Ghost: You have been haunting me for 7 seeks now, but still refuse to look at me. Why? What have I done to you?
I'M HIDEOUS!!!
Oh, crap... Was the rule "Don't let yourslf be see humans" or "don't let yourself be seen by humans?

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
Hey, what's wrong, buddy?
I dunno... When I found out that I'd survived the apocolypse, I thought I'd get some sort of radiation induced super power.
But you do, little buddy. You have the power to make me smile.
Was that too forward? I just... I just think you're nice.
Please put your pants back on.

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
Jimmy, I've got exciting news for you.
Oh please oh please... Promotion promotion promotion promotion promotion!
Follow me.
You, my good man, get to watch me pee.

 

That's what you get for taking my lawn gonmes.
by JStrong, 8-14-07

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
Hi.
Um. Hi.
Um... Do you mind?
Watching? Not at all.

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
Dear cute guy. I don't know how to tell you this so I wrote a letter. Do you want to go out with me? P. S. I'm the guy waving to you.
Hmm... How can I let him down easy?
You could just say no thanks.

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
I got the money, you got the stuff?
Yeah, I got it right here
Um, are those pictures of your family?
You don't have pictures of your kids on the walls of your work?

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
Sucking up to the boss with a present, eh? I like your style.
Actually, sir, my species traditionally wraps up their dirty underwear in one of these laundry boxes.
Giving me your undies, eh? I like your style.
Um... No sir, I was just going to the laundromat after work.
I'll give you 10 dollars to let me smell them.
I like your style!

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
Aren't you a penguin? Penguin's don't like art!
Aren't you the Marlsboro man? Penguins are at least real!
Damn right.

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
I like jogging on this path because there's always such a nice view.
Howdy!
Unh... Help...
Nice people, too.

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
... So that's when I said "Looks like I'm ahead!"
Get, it? Get it? Because I was winning, so I'm a "ahead" but I'm also a head! It's a double meaning!
I should have stayed in my grave...

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
And this is the 3rd bedroom.
I like it. I LIKE it!
Well, what do you say, would your like to live here?
You know my condition.
*sigh* Werr, what do you say, would you rike to rive here.
Haha! Now sing that "I'm Ronery" song!

 

by JStrong
8-14-07
Is there nothing I can do to convince you of the divinity of Jesus Christ?
Hmmm...
She'll be back.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
Here's your mail, sir.
Not now. I'm reading the newspaper. Now this is something worth reading that gets deliverred. And definitely the best delivery boy I've ever seen.
And deadlier with a gun than any man alive, that paperboy.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
Did you feel something?
Yeah... Victory.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
If you don't say something suave, and fast, you're getting nowhere.
Goodnight, hun.
I shaved my balls before our date. You know. Just in case.
Note to self: Girls like hairy balls.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
...and then Joey kissed Rachel because he saw Ross kissing his ex...
Working here has become unbearable since the boss made discussing TV manditory while at the water cooler
...but Kramer put on the balm the Maestro gave him on the burn, so...
I just need to wait it out, for the poison I put in the water cooler should take effect any minute now.
...and the difference between them was one was black on the right and white on the left, but the other was the other way around...
Excellent. I can feel the life draining out or me.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
Hi, there. I'm out of work and seeing if anyone has any chores they need doing for cheap.
You know, I do owe my roommate a favour...
Thanks for the new pants, man.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
Why are you breaking up with me?
I just don't think we have anything in common.
Really?
Nah, I'm just trying to be nice. It's your 4 inch wang.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
I really think you're wrong, evolution doesn't exist. I came from Adam and Eve, not a monkey!
Alright, alright, let's think about Adam and Eve. 6000 years ago, they gave rise to all humans. Over a mere 6000 years that common ancester gave birth to both you and me.
Uh huh.
But I look very different from you. Over several MILLION years, couldn't changes have been much more radical?
By god, you're right! Black people aren't human! I always had a feeling...
Goddammit.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
What can I getcha, hun?
I'll just have a small salad.
Oh? That's too bad.
What? Why?
Only gay guys eat salad. And here I was going to try to get lucky...
I'LL HAVE TEN HAMBURGERS!

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
Come on, man...
I dunno...
Everybody's doing it!
Yeah, man. C'mon.
But I don't WANT to listen Justin Timberlake. Can't I just hammer nails into my head with you guys?
If you don't have "What Goes Around" stuck in your head, you have no real reason to hit nails into your forehead. That's the rule.

 

by JStrong
8-15-07
Wait... what the hell am I doing with an axe? Goddammit, I brought the wrong tool!
MERCIFUL FIRE GOD! TAKE THE KITTY OF THE HOUSE INSTEAD OF ME!
*meow*
I still got it.

 

by JStrong
8-16-07
Hey, Jimmy, did you hear that Sarah's single again?
Didn't Sarah just get engaged?
Shhh...

 

by JStrong
8-16-07
Hi, Sarah. I heard about what happenned.
Oh, yeah, isn't it great?
Yes! She's practically begging me to make a move!
How do I do that?
The bulge in your pants is showing.

 

by JStrong
8-16-07
Let me tell you some of my time tested ways of hiding a happy bulge.
Please don't.
Sometimes, I untuck my shirt. Sometimes I sit down. In a pinch, I'll just hold my coffee a little bit lower.
Uh huh.
I like you, Jimmy. I'm going to take you under my wing. You know what I mean by under my wing, don't you?
I sure hope not...

 

by JStrong
8-16-07
Alright. Get in there and do it just just how I told you.
Uhm... I don't want to.
Do it or your fired.
Oh god...
SAY IT!
Vagina inspection time! Drop your pants and spread 'em!

 

by JStrong
8-20-07
Hey hey, who wants to do me up the ass?
Sorry, Greg, all the homosexuals died in the apocalypse.
Dammit, this is going to be trickier than I thought.
On my way!
WELL, SEEING AS IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AT ALL, MAYBE I COULD TAKE IT UP THE ASS... suckers.

 

by JStrong
8-20-07
I should have known this would happen if I masturbated...
But now that the worst has happenned, I can do it as much as I like!
Take that, God!
DRAT.

 

by JStrong
8-20-07
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!
Oh, my!
OH, WHAT'S THE POINT? NOTHING SEEMS WORTH IT SINCE THE WORLD ENDED!
I was looking forward to that cornholing...

 

by JStrong
8-20-07
If only the American people had listenned to Bill O'Reilly...
PSYCH!

 

by JStrong
9-12-07
So what do you think of my new place?
IT'S A TRAP!!!!
Take off the Admiral Ackbar costume, I'm trying to be serious.

 

by JStrong
9-12-07
Hey, are you the garbage collector? Because I'm ready for you to pick me up!
Uhm, is that supposed to be a line?
Wow. I guess there really is no good way to pick up a girl from inside a trashcan...

 

by JStrong
9-12-07
Say, Phil, do you think I'm overdressed for our meeting?
Nah, don't worry about it, you look great!
No, Phil. I'm being sarcastic. I'm saying you're drastically underdressed.
Someone had to compensate for your chronic over-dressing. See, on average, we're two appropriately dressed gentlemen.
And you wonder why I don't get excited about working with statisticians.
You don't want me to compensate for your chronic under-excitement while I'm not wearing pants.

 

by JStrong
9-12-07
So. Um. This is the bedroom.
Sweet! How much?
What the fuck, bitch, why are you kicking me out??
Wait a minute... Was that the craigslist ad I answered for a room for rent, or was it the craigslist personal ad?

 

by JStrong
9-13-07
What did they say?
They said that you were the gayest kid in school So what are you going to do about it?
DESTROY THEM!
I don't think that will make them like you.
Maybe if I give them flowers?
Wow. Maybe you are the gayest kid in school.

 

by JStrong
9-14-07
Some party, eh?
Hells, yes! I just know I'm going to get some tonight!
What makes you so sure?
I have a secret weapon.
Uh oh... It's not a rufie, is it?
Nope. See, I spend most of the party standing next to the guy in the kilt. Suddenly, I look like the most masculin man here. BOOYA!

 

by JStrong
9-17-07
Letter for you, Mr. McGee
Thanks, Jeff!
Dear Mr. McGee: For 17 years now, I have been your mailman. Every day of these 17 years, you have called me Jeff. And every day, I have told you that my name is Dave. Enough is enough.
If it happens today, I will kill you dead. Sincerely, your mailman, DAVE
Who the hell is Dave?

 

by JStrong
9-19-07
In a world full of despair and sadness, and a land that hope and happiness had forgot, a dark cloud of evil loomed...
But through this dispair, one man would rise up and break through the the darkness and show the world how to see the light again.
Is it me, or do trailers for football movies get more overdramatic every year?
For, lo, with the pass of a football, the world would watch in awe as the forces of good make their ultimate stand against the forces of evil, changing the universe forever.

 

by JStrong
9-22-07
So... What happens to you if you go in there?
My newest machine has the power to break down my DNA at the cellular level and resequence it.
Oh. And what will the... uh.. machine resequ-thing you into.
A hipper version of myself.
Isn't that just like...
Steve Urkel was my hero, Mr. Johnson, but what I wouldn't give to spend one day as Stefan Urquelle!

 

by JStrong
9-24-07
I can't do it!
What?
I can't kill you! I'm the worst robotic butcher ever!
That's okay! That's perfectly okay. Our conscience catches up with all of us sooner or later. The important thing is that I'll live.
No, no... Someone installed my slaughter unit wrong. It's backwards.
That'll do.

 

by JStrong
9-26-07
Hey there!
Oh shit
Wanna watch Michael Jackson videos with me?
I guess it could be worse... slightly.

 

by JStrong
10-03-07
In the comic strips, Tobor was a man of strong, simple desires
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!
But out of frame he was not always the caricature he often claimed to be.
Sometimes, I just want to cuddle...
Those were, of course, rare occurances.
THE REST OF THE TIME I WANT TO CORNHOLE SOMEONE!!!

 

by JStrong
10-04-07
It was here that Jesus performed what was, perhaps, one of his best-known miracles.
Dude, I bet I could totally walk accross that water.
Not so well known, however, were the complications that arose.
You know, there aren't a whole lot of landmarks out here...
Seriously. Where the hell am I?

 

I'd do anything for you, man!
I could really use a handjob, but I'm not sure how I feel about scaly hands...
by JStrong, 10-12-07

 

by JStrong
10-17-07
Hey, handsome, I'll come inside for 50 dollars.
I'm your father
Well, in that case, sugar, I'll give you the family discount. 35 dollars.
Hot dog!
What do you say, Daddy?
I should be disgusted, but you can't beat these bargains!

 

by JStrong
10-17-07
I'm your father, and if I say that work is more fun in monster masks, then you'll work with a smile on your face, mister!
Please take off the mask, Dad. How do I even know it's you in there?
What do you think, I'm just some guy who caught you playing hookey, and thought 'punishing' you by making you do all of my filing would be a cheap source of labour?
Well..
That's crazy! Just for that, you get to work 5 hours longer tonight! Don't make me make it 7!

 

by JStrong
10-27-07
Oh, great, another nigger!
Fuck you.
Why do people keep leaving when I say that?

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