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Nec-Romance by RedfeatheR 4-01-04
Hey shut up! No, you shut up!		Ok, are you the reflection or am I?

 

Nec-Romance II by RedfeatheR 4-01-04
We are through! Oh, you're just on the rag	At least I don't look like the rag! Bitch!!!	FAIRY! !!!!

 

McButchers by RedfeatheR 4-01-04
{sigh} Welcome to McButcher's where the prices are fair and our policy is care Yes young man. I was wondering if your meat was big enough to satisfy my hunger		Would you like lies with that?

 

Scofflaw by RedfeatheR 4-01-04
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do can be held against you in the court of-- I have to go to the bathroom; may I be excused?	*sniff*	well shit

 

Lizhard by RedfeatheR 4-02-04
Simplistic playing is considered to be the thing nowadays. Have you noticed that you rarely hear guitar solos anymore? It irritates me because I spent years learning to solo well and now it is consi..		It's the tie isn't it?

 

McButchers II by RedfeatheR 4-02-04
Sometimes, you just wake up in the morning, and it's like, all green. You know, everything's sick, pale and @#% dull. Seven o'clock the @#%$ alarm is screaming like all the seven seals have broken up Yes, Make sure they're good and hot	And that's what it feels like. BANG! BANG! Shirley Manson said it: "Hammering in my head." @#%$, someone shut this damn thing down please! It's like some weird Trent Reznorian beat No toughts, no worries, just shut this @#%$ piece of @#%$ up! BANG! Damn, get one leg off the bed. BANG! The other leg. BANG! Lift your head. BANG! Black out, system dysfunction	Bang! System opperational, major dammage around head.What the holy @#%$ is this damn thing on the other side of the room! BANG! Coup d'état in the belly, vomit , smells like @#%$ and alcohol. Ok, now pour them all over my body while I writhe in agony

 

Lizhard II by RedfeatheR 4-02-04
You haven't done anything bad, but you haven't anything good either. If you tell me just one good thing that you've done, I'll let you in	I was traveling on the road when I saw a group of thugs robbing a woman. So I went up to them and shouted for them to stop. Unfortunately, things got a little out of hand and I ended up punching out their leader. Then I challenged everyone else of the group to fight me.	WOW! When did all this happen? I dunno like 30 seconds ago

 

Lizhard III by RedfeatheR 4-03-04
Sorry, I don't date men where I work		But, you're a whore.

 

Lizhard IV by RedfeatheR 4-03-04
Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while? NO, I WON'T SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!	4 hours later... I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of all these people. I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations And then she... hold on a sec	I'd like that chat if you're not too-- Sorry you. I don't talk to chicks that won't do me

 

Meggs III by RedfeatheR 4-05-04
.....no...... NONO!!!NONONO!!!!!! SONOFABITCH!!!	I was so close!!! The Notorious Monster Jack Rabbit only comes every so often!!! If only I was my Level 30 Red Mage!!!! IF ONLY I HAD WRITTEN MY MACROS CORRECTLY I WOULDN'T HAVE TO KEPT HEALING THAT DAMN RABBIT!!!!! AAAgaggAGAGrh!!!!	You're fucking kidding me right?

 

McButchers III by RedfeatheR 4-05-04
{cough}.....what do you want, sir		One dumbass smirkburger coming right up

 

Lizhard V by RedfeatheR 4-08-04
H-hi. Remember me? Of course I do! You're that sweet guy I met the other night. Lizhard right?	Wow! I must have made some kind of impression I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. Steven come over here	I need to work on my impressions Thatsss one Ssscrumptiouss looking tail sssweetie

 

One-fund retirement: Buy and forget by RedfeatheR 4-08-04
When you use targeted maturity funds in a college savings account, the funds lowered exposure to stocks at the end is a bonus, not a drawback. You'll Yes, but even so, a better choice for retirement investors who want the least hassle is a good old-fashioned balanced fund that puts about 60% of its assets in stocks and the rest in bonds and cash		Now THAT'S sound financial advice

 

Total Recoil by RedfeatheR 4-10-04
You might think it's tough being an alien. And looking the way I do I couldn't possibly get any action	Well answer me this...	Does YOUR girlfriend have three boobs? Tee-hee

 

She must love playing Jeopardy by RedfeatheR 4-10-04
Ok, you've beaten me in afterlife Jeopardy. You get another chance at life and one wish Hrm, What is the one thing I want the most?	Bye *wish*	Hey, what the hell am I doing back here?! THUD

 

Death Row I by RedfeatheR 4-11-04
What's an average day like on deathrow? Really, no different from an average day out there. It's just a different lifestyle, different job to wake up to, and different priorities. Yeah, it's prison. Men get stabbed here, raped, and beat up.	What's the food like? Man, I'll eat anything. I'd wrestle anyone for chow. Somebody messed up and gave me a billy goat's stomach when I was created. Really, the food is not bad, no different from any other cafeteria food.	Wrestling? Ohh, hell yeah! I'm a Stone Cold Steve Austin fan.

 

Death Row II by RedfeatheR 4-11-04
Are you serious? If I put the Stone Cold Stunner on the next guard that walks by, would that answer your question?	Yes, that would answer my question. You seem to be in virile shape. Do they have exercise weights in the recreation rooms? No, they don't allow deathrow access to weights because they can be used as weapons. Like that microphone of yours

 

You've got one Dan Gling I by RedfeatheR 4-11-04
I had a really good time tonight Krissy Yeah, me too... Listen.. Dan? Do you wanna come upstair--		I swear that never happens

 

McButchers VI by RedfeatheR 4-12-04
You have to trick or treat over the phone Mabye it's time to lay off the bobbing for French fries	You know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag Your face looks like it was lit on fire and put out with an axe	An axe, huh? WHOA! Ever heard of turning the other cheek? Oh, nevermind... It's just as ugly

 

Lizhard VI by RedfeatheR 4-14-04
Ewe no who ah lack? Jeaff Foxwahrthy. Ah wuus ate thes wun consert aind -- Jeff Foxworthy sucks		-- aind hay wus -- SUCKS

 

Meggs IV by RedfeatheR 4-18-04
huh This Forum Topic isn't doing to well at all. I'll just give it a little bump	What are you bumping? Are you playing a game of Pinball? uh, no	{psshh} Young people are so dumb {psshh} Old people are so dumb

 

You've got one Dan Gling II by RedfeatheR 4-20-04
		Next time I get to decide what to do

 

McButchers VII by RedfeatheR 4-28-04
Darn! Temporary blindness again! And just when I needed to take a humongous leak!	Whew! Thought I'd never find the bathroom! Oh...oh, yeah...that's better...ahhhhh....	OH JEEZ I'm sor...I mean...There...One Pee-na Colada. Enjoy your sail with Capt. Morgan Why thank you, I ... HEY WAIT A SECOND!!! Pee-na Colada!?! I distinctly ordered warm urine with a lemon twist

 

Frozty by RedfeatheR 4-28-04
Darn! Temporary blindness again! And just when I needed to take a humongous leak!	Whew! Thought I'd never find the bathroom! Oh...oh, yeah...that's better...ahhhhh....	Thumpety thump thump Thumpety thump thump Look at Frosty go Thumpety thump thump Thumpety thump thump Over the hills of snow *bloody pulp* Piss on me?

 

Cliché I by RedfeatheR 4-28-04
Oh no! a serial killer is on the loose!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE whatever		Oh, wait! Damn skin

 

Cliché II by RedfeatheR 4-28-04
Oh no! a serial killer is on the loose!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE OH JEEZ! Thanks for warning me! I had better get naked!	*DING!*	Oh no! a serial killer is on the loose!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

 

Cliché III by RedfeatheR 4-28-04
Oh no! a serial killer is on the loose!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE I AM the serial killer, bud	he he, nice serial killer	Don't MAKE me walk after you now

 

Cliché IV by RedfeatheR 4-28-04
*pant* *wheez* I can't run anymore ... I've tripped about 37 times	Ok Mr. Serial. I give up and accept my doom Not before the surprise twist. My real identity IS...	YOU Wait... it dosn't make any sense. All the clues point AWAY from me Aaaahhhh, but who else was around you when you... I mean you where the only one who... well... The director cheated, ok?

 

Lizhard VII by RedfeatheR 4-28-04
This place is awesome Lizzy Yep	I got to thinking one day, and, I told myself, "Lizhard, You ball her like a wet cow, and she horse around."	So I says to myself I says, I'll take her to... What, What is it?

 

Meggs V by RedfeatheR 8-07-04
Welcome to Hell. I'm a friendly demon. I'll be watching over you. I have to go do something. Feel free to use our Internet ready facilities....	All right now... Let's bring up... Wait a sec-- Oh...Oh please God, no...	28.8k modem-ed!!! AAaRrrrGGGhHHh!!!

 

Lizhard IX by RedfeatheR 8-12-04
I was thinking I could pick you up tomorrow, say, Eight-ish? I'd rather spontaneously combust	I was thinking Chinese	Can't do BBQ

 

Finding Emo by RedfeatheR 8-13-04
I'm Happy Wait that can't be	My girlfriends left me My guitar strings broke	That's better

 

Finding Emo II by RedfeatheR 8-13-04
Why did she leave me? Because you're Emo		Then why di-- Because you're Emo

 

Lizhard X by RedfeatheR 1-11-05
Women are a lot like tennis		If you stand sideways and watch their chest fat flap jacks floop aboot

 

Lizhard XIII by RedfeatheR 1-13-05
We teach our kids to listen carefully, to speak clearly, and to have respect for each other by simply talking to them as-- Talk is cheap, but then again so are you.	So that was your one regret? I dunno... Only after the beating that lead me here did I even consider it... Oh! I also wish I had eaten more fruit cocktail. Man that stuff rocks

 

Finding Emo III by RedfeatheR 1-14-05
Mom's have Mother's Day Dad's have Father's Day	What do single Emo guys have? It's not fair. We need a holiday	well... I guess Palm Sunday counts

 

Finding Emo IV by RedfeatheR 1-16-05
I'm not always gloomy	*whuuuuuuuur*	*click* See, now I'm all bright and chipper

 

McButchers VIII by RedfeatheR 1-16-05
Here's your foo- *splut* ...whoops...		ooo Man it missed that loogie by like an inch OH! *whew* Thank God! You had me sweating for a second there

 

Ed's Knife's Edge by RedfeatheR 1-16-05
I know you probably get a lot of hate mail which made me hesitate to write you. But I have to for my own satisfaction. You are incredibly ignorant and petty. It is obvious that you have absolutely no	life whatsoever and take incredible joy in ripping on people that you envy, such as me. I wonder what you would say to someone like me if we met on the streets. You are a coward	Love Mom

 

Pirates II by RedfeatheR 1-16-05
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ niteowl/251102 I can't remember the last time I ever talked normaly like this Man at last year's Christmas party you were. When you where all over that chick?	ohman that's right...damn	Turn's out it was a dude yeahman we all knew

 

Pirates III by RedfeatheR 1-16-05
..and my butt was sore in the morning Dude I really don't want to hear another wor--	ARH, BACK TO THE PIRATE LINGO YARS	He took me sword, held it high in the arh and professed it wos Davey Jones Cocker One more tale of yur Jolly rogerings and ye be kissin' the gunner's daughter

 

Pirates VI by RedfeatheR 1-16-05
after 2 minutes Pirate, eh? Down here we speak british. Want an old-fashioned belted-gaberdine-mac-with-a- quarter-of-Payne's-army-and-navy-drops-in-the-pocket-and-an-odour-of-paraffin?		arr...arr...avast ye ya lily livered landlubber, batten down the mainsail, hoist the jibbet, scupper the uppers and flatten the flipitygibbers...arr...or I'll have yer carcass hanging from the yard What in God's name?

 

COC "Command Operations Center" by RedfeatheR 1-18-05
uh yeah... I was just wondering if we had the procedures for contacting alien life forms Is this really important?	uuhhh... no, you know what i'll just wing it then...sorry. out *beeep* damn rookies	Are yo-- Are you serious? I skeat flawless Engish lol..... "skeet"

 

COC II "Command Operations Center" by RedfeatheR 1-18-05
You know, I can't get over how nice of a captor you are	I mean really, you are, like, the shit Aj $ ^&@(>"f a oOPj opjk {}> @#% !!!!	LOL, sure! Wow you're just so pleas-- did I ever tell you how pleasent looking you are? heh heh Oh, and cute!? Gosh, you're a button

 

Santa's Balls by RedfeatheR 1-18-05
But I AM Santa! Yeah ok, bud. can you prove it?	Yes I can tell you what your daughter said she wanted when she sat on my lap last night	VFT

 

Snap out while lit by RedfeatheR 1-22-05
That sounds tamer than I recall. I had the opposite problem- always yapping and trying to share even when it wasn't welcomed.	I suppose that's what my problem was with Kelly: I always thought we needed to share everything, and she couldn't...or wouldn't	Hey guys, he's having one of those "I'm in the Real World" trips again cuh.. hu.....kuh

 

Snap out while lit II by RedfeatheR 1-22-05
Geez it's friggin cold Merry Christmas!	Nintendo!	cuh.. hu.....kuh Dan? Hey Dan. wooooah Dan come in Danny boy.*snap**snap* Wakey wakey. HEY DANO! Damn that Mescaline!

 

Ed's Knife's Edge II by RedfeatheR 1-22-05
At least I have you my only friend

 

The Pystery by RedfeatheR 1-22-05
Excuse me. Did you just piss my pants? What? NO		The plot thickens

 

Meggs VI by RedfeatheR 1-24-05
Computers + Kids These Days = ... ohman I can't hear a friggin thing that's being said Just scroll up	That could never work I know, damn Windows	dude

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