All comics by fraod

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by fraod
8-27-07
I'm not gay. I love you.
Me neither. I love you too.
I hate you.
I wish I could quit you.
Same time next year?
If I'm alive.

 

by fraod
8-27-07
I've never seen a murder like thi--
Hey! Didn't we attend a seminar together last year?
I'm sorry, were you busy?

 

by fraod
8-27-07
So I grabbed her and we just started doing it. HARD.
She was moaning "Oh Ed, you're the best. I once had sex with Brad Pitt and he's got nothing on you."
He forgot to put shoes on again today.
He totally thinks I'm a stud now.

 

by fraod
8-27-07
I'm sorry, you're fired.
I swear, I didn't steal that stapler.
We need to talk.
Is it the bringing-the-baby-to-work thing?
I hate my job.
Those drugs in the toilet weren't mine, I swear.

 

by fraod
8-27-07
So then after my second wife left me I thought, Hey! Real estate insurance!
I wish he'd shut up.
So that homeless guy I was talking to killed me, eh? Reminds me of the time I was fired from work for...
I wish he'd shut up.
Well, Heaven's pretty much what I expected. It's a lot nicer than the Sheraton, I'll tell you. I had a business meeting there once and...
I wish he'd shut up.

 

by fraod
8-27-07
I'm the best. Your husband is gonna be just fine.
Thank you, Doctor.
Where to begin...

 

by fraod
8-27-07
Having a smoke break, Donald?
Oh yeah.
Nothing to do with that tour bus of japanese school girls in short skirts across the street?
Nope.

 

by fraod
8-27-07
So you see Timmy, God wants you to dispose of your biological waste in the proper receptacle.
Gee, thanks Jesus!
No problem. Hey, how about a little help off this cross?
Uh oh, I think I hear my mom calling!
Get back here! HEY! I died for you!

 

by fraod
8-27-07
You know what I love about Chunky Peanut Butter?
It feels like I'm eating a candy bar, with all these crunchy bits in it!
I'm surrounded by idiots...

 

by fraod
8-27-07
help this isnt a comic I'm being held prisoner in someones basement
i was able to get into their office by tunnelling through the floorboards but I dont have much time
if you read this comic please somebody contact the police
thanks in advance

 

by fraod
8-27-07
Oh my god, wow! An actual african! Mogumbo!
Dude, I'm american. We're on the same school trip. We talked for like an hour on the plane ride here...
Damn hippies...
Jambo!

 

How many things are incorrect about this panel?
I'd say we're about 10 leagues under the sea by now.
Tomatoes are my favorite vegetables.
by fraod, 8-27-07

 

by fraod
8-27-07
Spousal abuse is real.
Hey baby, wanna cyber?
You only married me for my money!
Ignoring it won't make it go away.
I want a divorce! Don't you dare hit me! OW!
Visit EndAbuse.com to learn more.
I put on my wizard robe and hat.
I only hit you 'cause I love you, baby.

 

As the midday sun blazed overhead, Ed prepared to fight for survival.
by fraod, 8-27-07

 

Mario slips up in bed
Who's Yoshi?
by fraod, 8-27-07

 

by fraod
8-28-07
This is gruesome...
Who could have done a thing like this?
Yo momma.
That was only funny the first time. Knock it off.

 

He would never admit it, but secretly he wanted Ted.
by fraod, 8-28-07

 

Drug Mule
If the checkpoint guard asks, you're my wife and you don't even know what cocaine is.
by fraod, 8-28-07

 

by fraod
8-28-07
Firefighters worked tirelessly to control the blaze...
...and failed miserably. Police say the arson suspects have been identified but are not in custody.
If you've seen the suspects, please call your local authorities.

 

For Adam
I need more ideas.
I like cheese.
by fraod, 8-28-07

 

Why can't they just leave me alone?!
I'll get rid of them, Miss Lohan
by fraod, 8-28-07

 

by fraod
8-28-07
Heyy, wanna hear something funny?
Uh, sure.
Remember that girl you told me you've been in love with for years? I went out with her last night! Hahahaha!
Oh yeah? Ha ha...heh...
Haaahaahahahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha!
I think he could fit in my trunk.

 

by fraod
8-28-07
Fax machine's broken.

 

Fax machine's broken.
by fraod, 8-28-07

 

by fraod
8-28-07
That's checkmate. Thank you very much.
Wow, he's good.
Dude, Why was he using your pieces?
Uh, well, he said he gets to use the pieces you capture...Why are you shaking your head?

 

by fraod
8-28-07
Heyyy, Didn't we meet at that inter-office social skills building seminar last week?
Ohh yeahheh... How ya been?
Oo, a chance to try out what we learned. *Ahem* I have been fine. May I inquire as to your health and the health of your spouse and or significant other?
Uh...Sue and I are just fine.
Oh God. I don't remember how the rest goes.

 

by fraod
8-30-07
I was telling Ellen in Accounting that if she just changed her software she could triple her productivity...
...Gary said it was nothing personal that I get picked last for the company softball team, I can understand...
...and they're just so cute when you get them at that age. And trainable! Trainable like you wouldn't believe...
If he follows me all the way home, I'm going Texas Law on his ass.

 

by fraod
8-30-07
Also I like to keep multiplies at work, or at the gym, in different rooms of the house...
...because you just never know when one of those is going to come in handy...
...so, like I was saying, I have plenty if you'd like to borrow one. We could get together after work tomorrow and...

 

by fraod
8-30-07
...but I'd have to say my favorite movie of hers would be The Crossing Guard with Jack Nicholson...
...and as I was watching Letterman last night, I got this strange feeling of Deja Vu...
...it's the darnest thing really, but he trained the cat to wash the dishes, using liquid detergent and all! I tell you...

 

by fraod
8-30-07
Uh oh. I seem to have gotten myself lost a little bit.
I'm sure someone will miss me soon and come looking...
You know what this reminds me of? The time I was kicked out of Heaven. Funny story, actually. I was talking to this homeless guy...
Something please swoop down and kill me.

 

by fraod
8-30-07
Can you feel it?
Feel what?
The office...It's so quiet. So peaceful. Everyone's working in harmony...
Hey, I can feel it! I wonder what's changed...
They're probably doing helicoptor sweeps of the area. I'll be rescued any minute now.

 

Wait, it says the nails go in the wood.
That makes sense.
by fraod, 9-06-07

 

by fraod
9-06-07
The killer left some footprints in the blood pools, we -
I think I know who did it.
Um. You do?
Yeah. Well...
I've got a hunch, anyway.
Make sure you bag that cleaver. Pretty sure I left some good prints.

 

by fraod
11-25-07
Hey, Ted. It's my friend Adam's birthday. Would you mind signing his birthday card?
Um...Well, sure.
Wait a minute. This says "Happy Birthday Dave."
Come on. Come on...

 

by fraod
3-26-08
I had just about given up hope of rescue when a logging company came in and knocked down the tree I was sleeping in.
They wouldn't take me with them, but I followed their tread marks in the mud and found my way to a hospital eventually.
Turns out they make you get rabies shots if you've been bitten repeatedly by various woodland creatures.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me?

 

by fraod
7-23-08
I wonder how nutritious paperclips are.
Oh, thank you! The door got stuck, I've been here for hours! Didn't anyone hear me yelling?
Oops, the door locked behind you! ...Okay, well... I'll wait here while you go get help!

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