All comics by muffindance

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by muffindance
1-18-09
I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH
GOOD THING I HAVE MY SEMEN INHALER

 

by muffindance
1-18-09
I WISH I HAD A BRAIN
OOPS I MEAN A BIG JAR OF SEMEN
MAYBE I SHOULD STOP SNIFFING PAINT REMOVER

 

by muffindance
1-18-09
I SEEM TO HAVE WOKEN UP IN SOMEONE ELSE'S KITCHEN
HEY BRO THANKS FOR ALL THOSE RIMJOBS YOU GAVE ME LAST NIGHT
HMMMMMM
I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME MIRCALE-GRO ISN'T A RECREATIONAL DRUG

 

by muffindance
1-18-09
HELLO WHAT IS YOUR PREVIOUS JOB EXPERIENCE
I SUCK COCKS BEHIND SEARS
YOU ARE OVERQUALIFIED

 

DO YOU WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL
NO SORRY I DO NOT HAVE ANY HOBBIES THAT DON'T INVOLVE HUGE GAY BONERS
by muffindance, 1-18-09

 

by muffindance
1-18-09
WORK IS FUN AND ALL
BUT I 'D RATHER DRAW PENTAGRAMS ON MYSELF AND SMEAR GOD SHIT ON PEOPLE'S CARS

 

by muffindance
1-18-09
OH WOW JUST WHAT I WANTED!
A BIG GAY BEARCHESTED FAGGOT
THANK YOU SANTA

 

by muffindance
1-18-09
DEAR READERS: IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT IN THE PREVIOUS COMIC THE WORD "BARECHESTED" WAS MISSPELLED AS "BEARCHESTED"
THE MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ATROCITY HAS BEEN SUITABLY PUNISHED
IN OTHER NEWS: I AM A HUGE FAGGOT

 

by muffindance
1-18-09
MY PARENTS KICKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE
I GUESS THEY WEREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH MY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS
HOPEFULLY SATAN WILL PROVIDE ME WITH SHELTER AS WELL AS FRESH GAY DICK

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
I USED TO OWN A RESTAURANT
BUT I HAD TO CLOSE IT DOWN
I GUESS THE CUSTOMERS DIDN'T LIKE IT WHEN I DRESSED LIKE A WOMAN AND RUBBED MY BALLS ALL OVER THEIR FOOD

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
HEY WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM
UH YEAH IS THIS THE RESIDENCE OF ROBERT D. JONES
YEP THAT'S ME
YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING A FAG
DARN

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
MY WIFE JUST DIVORCED ME
SHE TOOK JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING I OWN
AT LEAST I GET TO KEEP THE METH LAB

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
CHRIST, THAT'S THE FIFTH WOMAN TO TURN ME DOWN TONIGHT
I DIDN'T KNOW ASKING A CHICK OUT FOR A DATE COULD BE SO HARD
MAYBE "LET'S GO SMOKE METH AND EXPOSE OURSELVES TO KIDS AT THE PARK" ISN'T A GOOD PICKUP LINE

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
HELLO
HI THIS IS THE ADDICTION HOTLINE, HOW MAY WE HELP
YES I AM ADDICTED TO SUCKING MASSIVE DICKS
FAG

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
I JOINED A NEW RELIGION TODAY
MOSTLY WHAT YOU DO IS SMOKE DOPE WHILE BURLY GAY MEN SHOVE GOLF CLUBS UP YOUR ASS
IT'S CALLED "CHRISTIANITY"

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE QUALIFIED TO BE AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER
I SMOKE TONS OF POT AND REGULARLY CHOKE PEOPLE TO DEATH WITH MY GIGANTIC COCK
ALSO I LOVE CHILDREN
YOU'RE HIRED

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
...
WELL
IT APPEARS AS THOUGH I CAN SHOOT LASER BEAMS OUT OF MY DICK

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
LET'S SEE...
WHO ORDERED THE EXTRA LARGE SEMEN AND BALL SWEAT PIZZA?
THAT MIGHT BE ME... WHAT TOPPINGS DOES IT HAVE
SEMEN AND BALL SWEAT

 

by muffindance
1-19-09
THERE ARE MANY THINGS IN LIFE I WISH I NEVER DID
BUT THERE IS ONE THING I DO NOT REGRET:
STUFFING MY FAT FACE FULL OF BONERS AT THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT COCK BUFFET

 

by muffindance
1-22-09
FOR SOME REASON I FEAL REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW
I'M NOT SURE WHY, THOUGH
MAYBE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ALL THE DWARVES I PAYED TO LICK MY NUTSACK

 

by muffindance
1-22-09
SO I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS WHEN THESE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND SLAPPED SOME HANDCUFFS ON ME
I KEPT ASKING WHY I WAS BEING ARRESTED, BUT THEY WOULDN'T TELL ME. THEY JUST SHOOK THEIR HEADS AND GAVE ME THIS WEIRD LOOK
THE WORST PART IS THAT THEY WOULDN'T LET ME KEEP THE BIG BAG OF SEVERED PENISES I WAS CARRYING AROUND

 

by muffindance
1-22-09
I USED TO THINK I WAS STRAIGHT, BUT NOW I'M STARTING TO THINK I MIGHT BE GAY
WHY IS THAT
BECAUSE I LIKE TO DRINK GALLONS OF SEMEN

 

by muffindance
1-22-09
ARE YOU THE GUY FROM PIZZA HUT
YES THAT IS ME
I KNOW MY ORDER IS A LITTLE UNUSUAL, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHO ELSE TO CALL
IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE THAT I'M GLAD I HAVE A MASTER'S DEGREE IN SUCKING COCK

 

by muffindance
1-22-09
HELLO WELCOME THE ORCHESTRA, WHAT INSTRUMENT DO YOU PLAY
I DON'T PLAY AN INSTRUMENT. I'M JUST A HOMELESS GUY WHO SUCKS WANDERED IN OFF THE STREETS. I LICK BUTTHOLES FOR A LIVING
YOU'RE HIRED

 

by muffindance
1-29-09
JUSTIFIABLY PISSED
INGRAINED IN SAND, THREE THOUSAND YEARS HENCE
THE FOLLOWERS OF RA WEEP; THE TOWERING BEAST IS SLAIN

 

by muffindance
1-29-09
DARNING A HOLE IN THE FABRIC OF TIME/SPACE
ONE MOMENT, FOREVER SOLIDIFIED IN THE ANNALS OF HISTORY
APPROACHING ON THE HORIZON: A LONE FIGURE ENCASED IN SOLID JISM

 

by muffindance
1-29-09
YONDER APPRAOCHES THE LORD OF DARKNESS INCARNATE
OBSERVE HIS MAJESTIC FORM; SEE HOW HIS TERRIBLE WINGS BEAT THE AIR
A NEW AGE OF HATED AND FEAR IS USHERED FORTH

 

by muffindance
1-31-09
DICKS
EAT THEM FOR BREAKFAST
PUT THEM IN YOUR ASS
SEVERAL AT A TIME

 

by muffindance
1-31-09
AH, THE GREAT AMERICAN SPORT
BASEBALL?
EJACULATING IN MY CUPPED HAND

 

by muffindance
1-31-09
I'M A RACE CAR DRIVER
EXCEPT INSTEAD OF DRIVING RACE CARS, I JUST SUCK TONS OF DICK

 

by muffindance
1-31-09
A IS FOR APPLE
B IS FOR BANANA
C IS FOR SUCK SWEATY COCKS IN THE LOCKER ROOM AT THE YMCA

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
I AM A VERY BUSY MAN
I HAVE MANY THINGS TO DO
MY COCK WILL NOT JERK ITSELF

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
I SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK TO WORK
YESSIR
OR I COULD JUST STAND HERE AND SHIT MY PANTS LIKE I HAVE FOR THE PAST FIVE HOURS

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
SUNDAY MORNING
RELAXING BY THE FIREPLACE WITH A NEWSPAPER
GALLONS OF SEMEN SLOSH AROUND IN MY STOMACH

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
I LOVE SUNDAY MORNINGS
THE SMELL OF PANCAKES ON THE STOVE...
THE SOUND OF DOGS LICKING MY EXPOSED NUTSACK...
*LGUHGLUHG*

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
DON'T CRY, SWEETIE
I LOVE YOU...
...IT'S JUST THAT I LOVE GIGANTIC COCK MORE

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
MY NAME IS LITTLEROCKER
I MAKE COMICS
I LIVE IN A DUMPSTER BEHIND BURGER KING

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
I AM A GAMER
SUPPOSEDLY VIDEO GAME COMPANIES CATER TO MY INTERESTS
SO WHY HASN'T ANYONE MADE A GAME ABOUT LICKING BUTTHOLES IN THE BATHROOM AT TACO BELL?

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
GREETINGS, CRABBY! WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO MAKE THESE WONDERFUL COMICS?
MY AIM WAS TO HEAL THE WORLD WITH LAUGHTER. IT IS MY DUTY TO IMPROVE THE WORLD BY ANY MEANS POSSIBLE, AND COMICS WERE THE MOST READILY AVAILABLE MEDIUM.
I ALSO HAPPENED TO SMOKE LARGE QUANTITIES OF POT

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
HI, I'M SATAN
THERE IS ONLY ONE THING I ENJOY MORE THAN PUNISHING SINNERS
AND THAT IS HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS WITH MY DONG STICKING OUT OF MY SHORTS

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
I AM A COMPETITIVE SHITTER
*PLOP*
I HATE MY LIFE

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
MY NAME IS LITTLEROCKER
I GET MAD AT PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET
I WATCH RERUNS OF GOLDEN GIRLS AND EAT ICE CREAM STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CONTAINER

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
OOPS, IT APPERAS AS THOUGH I HAVE NEGLECTED TO PAY MY CREDIT CARD BILL
THIS PROBLEM CAN BE SOLVED BY EATING RABBIT TURDS
*HOMF GLOMF*

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
MY NAME IS MUFFINDANCE
I MAKE COMICS ABOUT COCKS
I DRAW LITTLE SMILEY FACES ON MY TESTICLES

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
MY NAME IS FANTASTICBOMBASTIC
I LIKE MACARONI AND CHEESE
I WEAR A SOCK ON MY PENIS

 

by muffindance
2-01-09
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
READ ME MY RIGHTS
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SUCK MY BALLS
*HOMF GLMOMF*

 

by muffindance
2-02-09
MY NAME IS 0401040
I USE WORDS WITH MORE THAN TWO SYLLABLES
I CAN CHUG TWO GALLONS OF SEMEN WITHOUT STOPPING TO BREATHE

 

by muffindance
2-02-09
DEAR READERS: I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT MY WORKS ARE "NOT EXACTLY COMICS"
TO THE MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS STATEMENT: I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN AND APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK
I WOULD ALSO CORDIALLY INVITE YOU TO CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY MASSIVE COCK

 

by muffindance
2-02-09
MY NAME IS CANADIANCHEESE
I MAKE COMICS ABOUT STAPLERS
I STIR COFFEE WITH MY ERECT PENIS

 

by muffindance
2-03-09
How many cocks can you cram in your mouth at once?
ONE
*MMF*
TWO
*OMF*
FOURTEEN
*HOMF NOMF*

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